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Self Spanking. How Does It Work?


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The following is part of my reply to another topic. I'm interested in this because the idea that anyone can spank themselves just doesn't compute for me. My sense was always that not being in control was a fundamental part the experience of being spanked. Though not the most important element, I think the not knowing how hard or how long the spanking will be, has a big effect on the intensity of the experience. Obviously, that uncertainty is lost if the spankee is the spanker. Add to that the act of sheer will required to spank yourself hard enough and long enough to be an effective punishment. It would take not only a lot of determination but a lot of concentration as well. If your using so much of your mental resources to carry out the spanking, how much is left to think of why your being punished? These are things I don't understand but I do know the person I describe in the following paragraph.

I have always been baffled by self spanking. The idea that it works at all is hard for me to grasp but, I know it can. I know someone who gets real results from self spanking. She does need someone to assign the spanking first. She can't just decide on her own that she deserves one. It just doesn't work but, if her online mentor imposes it then it seems to have a genuine effect. These are not directed self spanking sessions either. She needs only that someone with authority, in her eyes, tell her to do it. Even if it's just an email. Then she is able to give herself spankings that are, to say the least, effective, and some would call extreme. She frequently cries during these. I also know she genuinely fears them. That is the part that is most incomprehensible to me. How can she fear something she is so much in control of? I don't pretend to have any answers here. I am naturally skeptical in that it doesn't fit comfortably into my psyche but, I have been witness to it. Not just once but, over many months. For her at least, self spanking can deliver the experience of a real punishment spanking. I will say though, she'll also tell you that it is not as effective as getting your spanking from someone else. For the punishments that she feels are most important, she does see someone.

Michael

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The following is part of my reply to another topic. I'm interested in this because the idea that anyone can spank themselves just doesn't compute for me. My sense was always that not being in control was a fundamental part the experience of being spanked. Though not the most important element, I think the not knowing how hard or how long the spanking will be, has a big effect on the intensity of the experience. Obviously, that uncertainty is lost if the spankee is the spanker. Add to that the act of sheer will required to spank yourself hard enough and long enough to be an effective punishment. It would take not only a lot of determination but a lot of concentration as well. If your using so much of your mental resources to carry out the spanking, how much is left to think of why your being punished? These are things I don't understand but I do know the person I describe in the following paragraph.

I have always been baffled by self spanking. The idea that it works at all is hard for me to grasp but, I know it can. I know someone who gets real results from self spanking. She does need someone to assign the spanking first. She can't just decide on her own that she deserves one. It just doesn't work but, if her online mentor imposes it then it seems to have a genuine effect. These are not directed self spanking sessions either. She needs only that someone with authority, in her eyes, tell her to do it. Even if it's just an email. Then she is able to give herself spankings that are, to say the least, effective, and some would call extreme. She frequently cries during these. I also know she genuinely fears them. That is the part that is most incomprehensible to me. How can she fear something she is so much in control of? I don't pretend to have any answers here. I am naturally skeptical in that it doesn't fit comfortably into my psyche but, I have been witness to it. Not just once but, over many months. For her at least, self spanking can deliver the experience of a real punishment spanking. I will say though, she'll also tell you that it is not as effective as getting your spanking from someone else. For the punishments that she feels are most important, she does see someone.

Michael

You are right, will not work. Just like men will not cry, by their own hand, and really... perhaps by any other hand.

JP

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i am a spanking advocate but certainly don't see the benefit of spanking ones self. Why not seek out a disciplinarian to carry out the event? If you can't take a hard, long spanking express that to the individual and set a specific method of spanking to be done. Most of the time if one is laying down on a bed with pants down and underpants on then they can pretty much take a good firm spanking with a belt. Eventualy you will need to remove your underpants and present your bare bottom for a good hard spanking to drive home the point of good behavior. Don't be afraid to talk to someone, if the person can't understand what you want and need move on to someone else. Best of luck to you .

:rolleyes:

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Guest kiwi

I've self-spanked since I was four years old. There are many reasons for that, and no, I don't find it anywhere near as satisfying as having someone else spank me. For me, spanking is primarily stress-relief; self-spanking works well enough for that.

For others, guided self-spanking works as discipline, probably for the same reason that the knowledge that they've disappointed someone they respect works as discipline; some do it simply for the sensation, or because they feel guilty and can't think of anything else to do, or to assert control over their own body, or for many other reasons. I think there are as many reasons as there are self-spankers.

I often see the statement here that self-spankers should just find someone else to give them a "real" spanking. I assure you, self-spanking is real to the self-spanker. Finding a spanker is often not that simple: trust issues, previous abuse, living in an isolated area, the belief that wanting a spanking is somehow weird or deviant, and the fear of someone finding out (particularly for 'ees who work with children or who are in positions of authority) can make it very difficult to find - or even look for - a spanker. Particularly with regard to the trust and abuse issues, putting pressure on them to "go and get a real spanking" will just put them off for longer. They will work through those in their own time.

I don't think it's fair to have a "one size fits all" idea that there is only one right way to spank or be spanked. As long as self-spankers get something out of it, there's no problem.

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I've self-spanked since I was four years old. There are many reasons for that, and no, I don't find it anywhere near as satisfying as having someone else spank me. For me, spanking is primarily stress-relief; self-spanking works well enough for that.

For others, guided self-spanking works as discipline, probably for the same reason that the knowledge that they've disappointed someone they respect works as discipline; some do it simply for the sensation, or because they feel guilty and can't think of anything else to do, or to assert control over their own body, or for many other reasons. I think there are as many reasons as there are self-spankers.

I often see the statement here that self-spankers should just find someone else to give them a "real" spanking. I assure you, self-spanking is real to the self-spanker. Finding a spanker is often not that simple: trust issues, previous abuse, living in an isolated area, the belief that wanting a spanking is somehow weird or deviant, and the fear of someone finding out (particularly for 'ees who work with childre nun or who are in positions of authority) can make it very difficult to find - or even look for - a spanker. Particularly with regard to the trust and abuse issues, putting pressure on them to "go and get a real spanking" will just put them off for longer. They will work through those in their own time.

I don't think it's fair to have a "one size fits all" idea that there is only one right way to spank or be spanked. As long as self-spankers get something out of it, there's no problem.

I'd just like to thank you for honoring the intent of this post with your insights on self spanking. I'd also like to discourage the posting of simple criticism. While it is something that's difficult for me to grasp. I'm not going to summarily judge it invalid. What I'm looking for is understand. I would ask those who are quick to deem it misguided. Isn't that uncomfortably like the way the vanilla world sees us?

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  • 1 month later...

I tried it way early on when I was trying to get my hubby to get into TTWD. Was it a total failure? Not really. I have a pretty vivid imagination. But it wasn't something I continued doing. I just couldn't completely get what I wanted out of it, and that is giving up control.

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For me, the few times I have tried it, it really did nothing for me because part of the release for me is having discipline delivered by someone else. I totally agree that seeking it out is not as easy as one would think.

Even talking about this to someone is difficult because it is extremely personal and I have issues trusting people with this kind of thing.

What I crave is the release that submitting to someone who I trust with my life and soul to give me what is needed so that I can let go of the guilt. Self spanking just doesn't deliver.

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Guest Imperial_Pony

I've tried it (only a few swats) before out of curiosity. I am capable of hitting hard even with short-handled impliments, but I honestly don't think I could get in the correct frame of mind to self-spank and be successful. I could probably spank myself till I bruised and couldn't sit for a week, but I wouldn't have what I desire most.

I desire to submit to a male's strong hand; to be submissive if only for a while and just trust and let go.

I, personally, don't see the point of self-spanking, at least for me. But it does work for others and if it isn't broke, then why fix it?

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I desire to submit to a male's strong hand; to be submissive if only for a while and just trust and let go.

I, personally, don't see the point of self-spanking, at least for me. But it does work for others and if it isn't broke, then why fix it?

Ditto!

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I did self spanking for a number of years and it does work, somewhat. I eventually found a mentor and it changed my view. He isn't in the business any longer and my girlfriend has to be in the right mood to spank and she is still learning. I need to find a new mentor.

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The following is part of my reply to another topic. I'm interested in this because the idea that anyone can spank themselves just doesn't compute for me. My sense was always that not being in control was a fundamental part the experience of being spanked. Though not the most important element, I think the not knowing how hard or how long the spanking will be, has a big effect on the intensity of the experience. Obviously, that uncertainty is lost if the spankee is the spanker. Add to that the act of sheer will required to spank yourself hard enough and long enough to be an effective punishment. It would take not only a lot of determination but a lot of concentration as well. If your using so much of your mental resources to carry out the spanking, how much is left to think of why your being punished? These are things I don't understand but I do know the person I describe in the following paragraph.

I have always been baffled by self spanking. The idea that it works at all is hard for me to grasp but, I know it can. I know someone who gets real results from self spanking. She does need someone to assign the spanking first. She can't just decide on her own that she deserves one. It just doesn't work but, if her online mentor imposes it then it seems to have a genuine effect. These are not directed self spanking sessions either. She needs only that someone with authority, in her eyes, tell her to do it. Even if it's just an email. Then she is able to give herself spankings that are, to say the least, effective, and some would call extreme. She frequently cries during these. I also know she genuinely fears them. That is the part that is most incomprehensible to me. How can she fear something she is so much in control of? I don't pretend to have any answers here. I am naturally skeptical in that it doesn't fit comfortably into my psyche but, I have been witness to it. Not just once but, over many months. For her at least, self spanking can deliver the experience of a real punishment spanking. I will say though, she'll also tell you that it is not as effective as getting your spanking from someone else. For the punishments that she feels are most important, she does see someone.

Michael

hi michael, im a newbie in the whole spanking world but i need it so desperately. i have a new spanker and future mate but he is on the road driving truck and unfortunately unable to punish me when the need arises so we have incorported am conference calls which is right now the only way to deal with my infractions. at first, i thought self-spanking was crazy and why in the heck i would want to spank myself...my goal was to find someone to do this for me... hello????.well, after i thought about it...how bad could it be right? i have the intensity control....i dont have to spank that hard....well, when i agreed to follow through on the first call i was already in major trouble bcuz i ignored the call the first day...big mistake...he added swats...doubled them actually. it went well and it did the swats like i was spanking my child but it still didnt compare to him giving them to me.

i totally amazed him and myself yesturday...i was in extreme trouble because i let an issue with my health go unattended and the day before i mouthed off to him on my txt msgs...he hates the word "whatever" and i used it like 3x in the same day...big mistake....well...i ended up giving myself 945+ swats with either my hairbrush or the large wooden spoon on my bare fannie...i am sitting very tenderly this am and trying to study...which by this post im not doing. i guess for me the self-spanking is the only motivation i have until he and i can be together. so far it working but i cry cuz he isnt here to hold me after.

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It really doesn't work all that well. I gave myself a good spanking last night with a wooden spoon over the thin cotton shorts I was wearing, but aside from a sore stinging bottom I really got nothing out of it. It would have been nice for someone to be there to give me a good stern lecture about my bratty behavior lately, then spank me until I couldn't take it any more.

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