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spankyboy

are you weird or something?...

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I suppose I think that liking to spank is weird at least to the general public...That being said, before th e internet , I did not really have too much of a problem getting a partner over my knee...Some were more tolerant than others, but lots gave it a try. I took a few myself just to be fair, but I actually do not think women are inclined to be the dominant person in most relationships. A study I read about D/S couples classed most women (80%) as the submissive partner. I would agree that is probably accurate. I would also guess that is why dominent women can actually make a living

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elzorro....I understand how you might fee weird because I also feel weird with my need as a woman to be spanked. I am not wired like you and cannot even imagine me or really any woman spanking a man because I see men as authority and power and all of that kind of thing. However, I know each of us is wired different with different needs. You are who you are and that is OK....even more than OK...like beautful. I am among many who who support you and your need, and I do real;y believe each of us here are expressing and verifying that spanking as it plays out for each of us is a NEED. May God bless you Sir!

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Hi Nicole, You are right about different wiring... I think there are lots of configurations just here on the website and more that are represented outside it. I think many on this site are actually getting much better about accepting those who do not feel the same way they do about this weird subject! I admit that it is pretty fascinating to me, and while I do not get some of it, as we used to say in the 60's/ 70's, it's your trip. I think most of us would admit though that it is pretty difficult to explain this to someone who doesn't share the wiring in one way or another, which makes it interesting to share even if you do not share the same exact kink. It is nice to link with someone who think along the same lines for sure though...I think one has to be careful not to condemn what others define as the ultimate for themselves...Don't throw stones! Thanks for posting. It is brave.

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El Zorro, you mentioned awhile back that you may and would like to spank men. i think you should; a lot of men need a paddling and strapping, and very few Women are willing to paddle and strap men. And it would be a fine addition to have straight men interested and willing to paddle other straight men. You could help feel a niche that seems very open. Although most male spankees prefer a Woman, since that doesn't happen, you could help a lot of people. And, you may find that you enjoy it; a different dynamic, and you'd probably find that men like much more serious paddlings than Women, which just might be a lot of fun for you. Let us know how it works out!

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I've struggled much of my grown life with my desire to be dominated by a Woman. With that desire for domination came the understanding that my being spanked would have to be part of the equation. From high school on 've worked in some of our most macho industries and no one could doubt my masculinity. While my desire to be dominated by a woman started at a young age (I remember seeing a woman in riding attire with a crop in her hand) I never met a woman who was smart enough, bold enough, or crazy enough to dominate me. I went through a lot of girlfriends, many one-night stands, and two wives, both of whom I cheated on, I've been the "bull" in several threesomes and I've found other men to which I could play submissive.

What I'm trying to say is I've been adventuresome when it comes to sexual experience. I'm sure I'd be considered weird by vanilla people and by many of you on this forum. I don't care. To see me anyone would think, "success" But I still have this desire - that many of you share - to be spanked which, to me, means being dominated.

I had my wish come true several years ago and met a Woman who was more than me. Better educated and smarter, bold, daring in the business in ways I knew I couldn't ever be. She had a sexual history and didn't take shit from anyone. To make a long post short, we hit it off and yada, yada, yada I'm her house husband. She loves me like crazy but dominates me and spanks me. Here's the thing........

As much as I want, need, and deserve the spankings I cannot help feeling this makes me less manly. It is embarrassing and humiliating to be as submissive as I am to this woman. I cannot believe most women could find me at all attractive once they knew my position and in a way a big, important part of my life, really who I am, is gone due to my desire to be spanked by this Woman who controls me. Again, I don't care.....At least I don't think so.

The desire is so strong the results so emotionally deep it's worth the fear of my feeling "unmanly"

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Hi Ammon, I have thought on this and I don't think I am there just yet... Had some offers, but just not there headwise at this point. It could be that for the longest time sex and spanking were pretty much in the same bag, and I have experienced lately that it does not have to be that way at all. So not completely saying no but not ready for yes just yet. Thinking.

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OICU, thanks for a good explanation. No doubt you've touched on some feelings, fears, likes and inclinations that lots of male spankees have. Thanks for expressing it that way.

El Zorro, nice to hear your thought process and where you're at.

What a diverse and interesting group we have!

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I am enjoying the positive and accepting vibes. Always good. No need to scare anyone off.

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Yeah, ave felt that others might find me weird at times. I have only talked to one friend about my needs so far.

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Still "vanilla" here, but my thoughts on this....

Typically I prefer a man 'er and a female 'ee. However watching female on female catches my eye from time to time. I don't tend to look at men on the bottom. Not because I think it's weird or that the man is weak/unmanly. Not at all! Just doesn't do much for me, yet. I'm just so impressed that people of any gender get out there and live out their fantasies. If it were to turn out that my man secretly wanted me to spank him, I would certainly be more than happy to oblige. I'd have to make a plan in my head first, but I think I'd have some fun with that. Would I think less of my very strong, confident, and controlling man? Bleep No. I would probably find him stronger for admiting something he felt ashamed of. Heck, I'm still having trouble with it.

So cudos to the men who are willing to live their dreams.

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OICU, thanks for a good explanation. No doubt you've touched on some feelings, fears, likes and inclinations that lots of male spankees have. Thanks for expressing it that way.

El Zorro, nice to hear your thought process and where you're at.

What a diverse and interesting group we have!

I've struggled much of my grown life with my desire to be dominated by a Woman. With that desire for domination came the understanding that my being spanked would have to be part of the equation....


As much as I want, need, and deserve the spankings I cannot help feeling this makes me less manly. It is embarrassing and humiliating to be as submissive as I am to this woman. I cannot believe most women could find me at all attractive once they knew my position and in a way a big, important part of my life, really who I am, is gone due to my desire to be spanked by this Woman who controls me....

The desire is so strong the results so emotionally deep it's worth the fear of my feeling "unmanly"

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My first wife found my need to be spanked as repulsive and not normal. She said I had a mental illness. She especially hated that I liked to wear nylon panties or even men's nylon briefs. She also thought I was somehow a threat to our children and specifically prohibited me from spanking them. She had many affairs in her search for a "normal" relationship. When we divorced, she made it a point to tell any girlfriend that I was a danger to their children because I like to be spanked. And told the same to my Bishop (pastor) in my church. She just did not understand my need and that it was a chore if I were to spank my child and preferred leaving the discipline up to her.

My new wife buys me panties and loves to blister my bottom whenever she thinks I need a spanking. She believes regular spankings benefit our relationship.

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I find this all fascinating as I have wondered frequently what drives some people to be ers and others ees and switches. I dont think we are genetically wired for strictly spanking , as much as I believe we have a greater need for tactile, the touch aspect and the inimacy of the relationship.

Men are still perceived to be the protectors, to 'man up" and never appear to be week , in the same way women are still regarded as the weaker sex who needs protection. It's changing, but very, very slowly.

My submission to a spanking was a gift of love and trust. For a few short hours, I wanst among the advanc guards, the soldiers in the field. I could let go of my worries and relax in the arms of another who gladly accepted that post.

.

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The needs and dynamics are different for every single person on this board. I think I would be uncomfortable with a female spanker only because my mother was very nurturing (to a very high strung kid) and it was my father who was the disciplinarian. I know it does bother me a bit than I cant be a switch. I simply am incapable of inflicting pain.

Unless someone goes after either my family or my pets. That would push me over the edge into violence.

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The needs and dynamics are different for every single person on this board. I think I would be uncomfortable with a female spanker only because my mother was very nurturing (to a very high strung kid) and it was my father who was the disciplinarian.

Yes, we are all different! In my mind, spanking is a very nurturing and "motherly" thing to do. I can't imagine having a male spanker, partly because the discipline I received from my father was over-the-top harsh and abusive. While I have lots of male friends who are very loving and nurturing, that association is just too strong where discipline is concerned.

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Yes, we are all different! In my mind, spanking is a very nurturing and "motherly" thing to do. I can't imagine having a male spanker, partly because the discipline I received from my father was over-the-top harsh and abusive. While I have lots of male friends who are very loving and nurturing, that association is just too strong where discipline is concerned.

You dont have to answer here or even in a PM,but do you think you could spank eather a male or female? I understand the stress relief, the letting go, and the care and nurturing you recieved. I know I am definitately in the minority on this board, but spanking for me required complete trust and intimacy with my spanker, who was also my husband. Its difficult for me to understand discipline only without that emotional element.

We never used a safe word; he knew my body language better than I and always knew when to stop. I think I would be very fearful with a stranger who couldnt recognize those signs.

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You dont have to answer here or even in a PM,but do you think you could spank eather a male or female? I understand the stress relief, the letting go, and the care and nurturing you recieved. I know I am definitately in the minority on this board, but spanking for me required complete trust and intimacy with my spanker, who was also my husband. Its difficult for me to understand discipline only without that emotional element.

We never used a safe word; he knew my body language better than I and always knew when to stop. I think I would be very fearful with a stranger who couldnt recognize those signs.

I don't mind answering here -- I think the sharing of personal experience is important to the whole community.

I don't know if I coukd spank someone. I'm not really wired that way (as an 'ER), but if spanking were as important to my partner as it seems to be to me, I would certainly try. I do have an "'ER mentality" in certain circumstances, but having power and authority over others isn't something I particularly enjoy. I have always been a natural leader, but I feel like that role carries with it a tremendous amount of responsibilty and I don't particularly enjoy it.

I have never been spanked for discipline as an adult. As you know (and I won't go into the details here), I am going through an extraordinarily stressful time in my life, and my 'ER (Christy) is very graciously helping me focus more on my own self-care (sleeping, exercise, etc). Discipline is not off the table, but just knowing that I have to report to her if I screw up has worked so far. I really don't want to experience a discipline spanking. The spankings I've received so far (two from Christy and one from MissBam when I was traveling down her way) have all been for stress relief -- which has been very effective.

But Christy lives some distance from me and I only get to see her every couple of months, so we correspond a few times a week and I just "check in" with her for emotional support when I need to, so there's definitely a strong element of emotional intimacy there. She is a very caring and nurturing person in general -- this wouldn't work for me at all if I didn't feel emotionally connected to her. We spent a couple of months corresponding and getting to know each other before we even agreed to meet.

I do have a safe word with Christy. I am still very new to all this, and I felt like it was necessary to feel safe about exploring this need. As we have gotten to know each other better, I have come to trust her more and more to be able to "read" me and know what I need, so the safe word probably isn't necessary anymore.

So I guess that's the long way of saying that even though my 'ER is not my romantic partner, there is a strong emotional bond of a different kind. It's more like a maternal dynamic, and it's an essential ingredient for me. If that weren't there, this wouldn't work for me at all.

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Wow . . .you're having a rough week woobie :( lil mom got her debit card stolen two days ago. Thankfully it was replaced but still :(

And about your family and their unsupportiveness. . .*hugs*is all I've got to say. Just. . .d a m n

Praying you will be safe.

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You're such a sweet girl, Incisron, conforting Woobie that way. Forums of all kinds are great for venting some worries. I hate families who expect you to allways be fake happy, simply because they can't be bothered to have to deal with your problems.

As for the subject of the threadstarter, "weird" is a term that is used for so many things it really doesn't mean anything anymore. If you look at everything that is called weird by some people, anything outside the utmost narrow norm would be, so incredibly narrow nothing would be left but stereotypical, robotic kind of folk, the way -who was it again?- sang it in that song "little boxes": "...hundreds of little people, and they're all made out of ticky-tacky, and they're all look just the same".

Outside that, all the rest is weird. So, then we're all weird in one way or an other.

The fact that a man can be considered weird if he dreams of being spanked and a woman wouldn't, stems from the time that it was considered Biblically 'normal' to treat women as perpetual under age people, who just like children, weren't allowed to own property, sign contracts, make official decisions about their children without their husbands consent... in other words, only the husband was the "adult" in the house, nobody else was.

And of course, men were allowed to beat their wives, that was completely okay even if it got totally out of hand and the woman was battered half to death, it was his right as a husband and she had to put up with it.

Accepting to be punished, just like a child, was a woman's role.

Chastising each member of his family, beit his children as well as his wife, as he judged fit, was the man's role.

Everybody is used to that image, we get it from the Bible. In there, it also stresses numeral times it is very much against the will of God and against common decency or even the Universal Order of things that women should do anything that normally is done by men. It is even forbidden for a woman to wear men's clothes, as far as some of the misogynist prophets were concerned. (In first instancy, that was the 'crime' Joan of Arc was sentenced to death for).

Proverbially, a home where the wife "wears the pants" was the subject of common critics and mockery: both wife and husband were considered to be seriously in the wrong. It was considered "unnatural" for a man to obey or be submissive to a woman, just as it was sinful and unnatural for a woman to be dominant toward a man. The woman was called a butch and humiliated, the man was ridiculed and called "henpecked".

From there to finding it "weird" for a guy to admit he likes to be spanked, and not weird for a woman to do so, is just a small step of thought, really...

Anyway, that's where it comes from.

Masochism and sadism have existed just as long as humans exist, it's a game we play to cope with the stress of living an a hierarchical community, as I explained in an other thread. So if it was unnatural, Nature would have evolved it out of us millions of years ago! And since she hasn't, it must be good for something. And we know it is, but you will always have people who think they know better what Nature is all about than mother Nature herself...

In short, dear theadstarter, don't give it an other thought!

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Yes, I am something...

...and weird!

:wacko:

Ben

:lol: ha ha, good one

Im am both as well

And a lot more other stuff too

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