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Why Do Adults Seek A Parental Figure?


Guest brattyfemale

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Humans can think up some pretty crazy stuff, some good some bad, some great. I can think up things that are completely acceptable in normal life that repluses me, like letting children die from sickness because their parents have no health care. There a plenty of people out there in the world that don't think twice about that. But tell them you like to be spanked, and your the pervert.

Very well put.

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Interesting question.

I consider a parental spanking as something that happens occasionally, as a last resort if nothing else works. That is probably what I would be looking for in a mentor.

As far as relationships go, I consider myself as an equal partner. If there is any spanking involve, it will swing both ways. That is only my personal preference.

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Did those of you seeking it consider or try going to therapy first before acting out any spanking?

Hello Brattyfemale,

Don't be sorry for starting this post. You presented a very interesting tpoic which has resulted in many members sharing their thoughts an of course a little more about themselves. This is how we gain knowledge and understanding of this lifestyle and of others. This is the only reason I frequent this site.

I am a Lifestyle Dom and have been for many years. I am not a mentor or a disciplinarian. I say this only because I have not entered anything into my "about me" section. Many here would not/ could not understand my lifestyle.

For many, spanking in itself is a very effective form of therapy.

I take blood pressure medication. Unfortunately, the medication only treats the symptoms and does nothing to address the cause. If I am unable to change anything in my life, I will most likely always be dependent on this or some other form of medication.

For many, working with a mentor/disciplinarian will very often not only address the symptoms but also can help them move foward in identifying/addressing his/her problem. Sometimes the best conversationalist is someone who simply takes the time to listen.

Where I understand the value of a mentor, I myself don't understand spanking as a form of therapy. Through personal experiences of friends I know that for many it can help in many ways.

You certainly have an unique way of expressing yourself. As you can see from the responses to you topic, this is not always a bad thing.

I am certainly looking foward the hearing from you again.

Cajun

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Come on guys - don't be so hard on her. She never said YOU (or WE) were repulsive, just that that particular idea repulses her. There's nothing wrong with that. I find a lot of things repulsive - peas, for example - but I don't judge those who eat peas. She also never suggested anyone needed therapy - just that if she felt that way it is what she thought she would do. I don't see anything judgmental in her posts except on her own ideas.

I also have to buck against the idea that people want parental figures because their own sucked. My parents are wonderful people and did a wonderful job of bringing myself and my siblings up. I myself seek parental figures because I am AB - Adult Baby. I suggest a lot of people who seek parental type spankings have a bit of an "Adult Child" (does not have to be a baby - "adult children" come in all emotional ages and stages) in them as well. Trying to figure out why is not fruitful - ABs have been trying for years and never figured it out. Why do you prefer ANYthing that you prefer?

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My theory on the matter has been brought up here by others in this thread. Our parents are the first authority figures we come into contact with in our lives and for most of us they are the longest lasting and closest authority figure. Some may see a parental figure as a form of security.

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I was going to say that I can point to clear causes of most of my interests. Then I realized that even beyond the weirder ones, that really isn't true. Most of them "just happened".

While I'm confused by it, it somehow works: I sometimes use getting spanked now to heal from the terror of being spanked by my father.

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Just type "The Disciplined Feminist" into your browser and scoll down to "The Disciplined Feminist" and click it and it will open the blog.

quote name='PonyGirlWI' timestamp='1299772978' post='45411']

why don't you post the link so we can see it?

;)

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I never put anyone on lowest tier, never even thought of differing spankers that way, the idea honestly never occurred to me. I am trying to understand something that seems a bit repulsive to me. The fact that it seems repulsive to me, does not mean I look down on others, and I'm sorry this thread got off track with that idea as it wasn't in my mind.

I wish I hadn't even started this thread now, and moderators please feel free to remove it. The critical reaction above turns me off big time. It is appearing to me that discussion is not possible. My apologies for even starting this thread. :(

To be able to express your feelings and questions is what I believe this site encourages. Apparently you have a desire or need or you wouldn't be here in the first place... as do the many whom responded to your post. As I read I saw many whom were defending their right to feel as they do, and I dont think they were trying to discourage your questions or offend you, they were just defending, with passion their deep commitments to their believes. Defence normally comes when one feels threatened, and since they enjoy their choices of lifestyle, as do you, they will defend.

I have been a Trusted1 to many whom have many isues that haunt them from their past, and they trust me and many look at me as a sort of father figure, stable and confident with myself and they know they can confide and trust me intheir personal issues and needs. Many have incomprehensible self demoralizing isues and their need to make amends to themselves often comes with physical punishment. Some are cutters, some use drugs and alcohol because they cant face themselves. I try to provide their need to feel relieve through addressing their physical desires, and continue with verbal communication and follow up as they feel necessary. I dont condemn nor judge what scenareo they wish to take place or how they wish to approach the desired actions. All are necessary for each on their own terms. Hope this helps. Hugs!

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Guest Gator

But to replay parent child spanking? I don't get it...

hi brattyfemale -

This is a good sized thread already but I do have a little insight to add to the conversation after rereading your initial post.

I think the part you are missing is this:

People who are into this kind of spanking play are not trying to "REPLAY" their own childhood spanking experiences.

You are making several assumptions there that are not necessarily true.

First and foremost of these is that adult spankos who have "Big/little" or "Parent/child" spanking sessions were spanked as children.

Take a survey if you must, but I guarantee you the stats would not be 100% on that. Maybe 50-50 if I had to guess, maybe less.

So, if you are an adult "child" being spanked by an adult "parent" how is it that you are "replaying" a child hood parental spanking?

You aren't. It is something else entirely.

What it is exactly? Who knows? Who cares? What difference does it make? If you are really that curious about it I suggest you find a willing partner for yourself and find out does it make a difference for you to be spanked "like a child."

For those who *were* spanked as children there is still another distinction: by recreating a similar scenario with a Safe Sane and Consensual partner they are regaining control of their lives on some level.

I never spank or get spanked without a "safe word" in place and you shouldn't either. Having said that, if I as my wife's "Daddy" am giving my "baby" a punishment spanking - she still has control of the situation. I can't stress this enough. This allows us to explore feelings/emotions/situations that do make a difference in her life as well as mine.

Why is our relationship that way? Does it matter?

You don't have to "understand" something to accept it.

Hopes this helps.

Gator

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  • 7 months later...

I never put anyone on lowest tier, never even thought of differing spankers that way, the idea honestly never occurred to me. I am trying to understand something that seems a bit repulsive to me. The fact that it seems repulsive to me, does not mean I look down on others, and I'm sorry this thread got off track with that idea as it wasn't in my mind.

I wish I hadn't even started this thread now, and moderators please feel free to remove it. The critical reaction above turns me off big time. It is appearing to me that discussion is not possible. My apologies for even starting this thread. :(

I'm sorry to see, although no longer surprised, that this one left. She had a head on her shoulders...

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