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Creating Incentives to Stick With It

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Hello everyone, 

A little while back, I had the good fortune to meet a disciplinarian who was able and willing to take me on as a regular for (essentially) life coaching sessions. The sessions that we had were positive and helpful experiences, even if I walked away with a sore bottom from a few of them.

What I've found is that, like others here, I don't like getting spanked, and it's not something I seek out all that frequently. However, I have found it to be a helpful motivator, which leads me to my main issue. If I know a spanking is coming, I'm less inclined to follow through on the meeting. In an ideal world, I'd have an office somewhere that I work out of, she would have a key, and just arrive at the appointed time. That takes the decision out of my hands. Of course, that's unrealistic. 

So, I find that I'm in need of some sort of external motivation to keep up with the regular sessions that I know I need (for example, I wouldn't be happily married if it wasn't for her pushing me to ask my crush out). I don't think a financial incentive would work, such as paying for the next session at the last one, as I know I would be ok leaving money on the table.

I would love to hear any suggestions or tips to push me to keep up with regular sessions until it's really habitualized and the motivation starts coming from within. I'm definitely in an "I don't want it, but know I need it" situation. 

Thank you for your feedback and help. 


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  • 2 weeks later...

I recognize the phenomenon, esp as my mentor lives many hours away. 

Like you I dislike being corrected (caned in my case) but absolutely need it. 

I use two methods:

-my mentor will drop me if I don't turn up (without good reason)

-I buy an expensive nonrefundable ticket well in advance.

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I think this is a good illustration that adult discipline is self-discipline. The only thing I can think of is to find a disciplinarian you respect, and have that respect motivate you to follow through on whatever you two have agreed on. Not wanting to disappoint someone like that can be motivating as well as, ultimately, the good feelings of shared success.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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