Is there something wrong with me?

[EricaAlex89]

I can’t be the only one who thinks or has thought in the past: what is wrong with me?

I know I don’t crave discipline for sexual reasons; not even close and I’m definitely not one who enjoys pain. 
 

I’m not really sure but all I know is I crave it for correction not pleasure.

And maybe it’s just lack of sleep but I’m feeling depressed even now at the thought it will never happen and I’ve felt this in the past and also feeling depressed over the fact maybe I’m just weird.(Not intended to offend) Albeit, I don’t want just anyone to do it.

I’m definitely not craving it for enjoyment but for correction on some things I’ve struggled with for a long time and maybe that someone would care.  This is what little sleep does especially when you’re a woman. 😪

[IMLX]

I think the following two videos, one by Princess Kelley May

https://youtu.be/eKH-XUfKZ4U

 

and this one by Jillian Keenan

will help you see there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

 

 

 

 

[LightCruiser]

What I'm getting is that you're craving for someone you love and trust to "take the wheel" so to speak. If you're having difficulties in life, which it sounds like you are, it's hard to be self-disciplined sometimes. It can sound nice to have someone else take care of that for you, and give you the incentive and motivation to do good that you wish you could give yourself. In my experience with depression, self-motivation is extremely hard. So to answer your question, I'd say nothing's wrong with YOU particularly unless you count the depression itself.

[dmirk]

There’s nothing wrong with you. 
 

I’ve known and spanked a couple in your exact situation.  They not so much want spankings - actually hate them - but feel they need them. Usually for a specific behavior but not always. 

[StrictGent]

Nothing wrong with you at all. So so many people have the same craving as you. Not only is there nothing wrong with you, but you are not alone.  Take your time and be super careful, but I promise it can and will happen. Hang in there, you're as "normal" as can be, whatever that means in the world.  

[Spanknutt]

9 hours ago, EricaAlex89 said:

I can’t be the only one who thinks or has thought in the past: what is wrong with me?

I know I don’t crave discipline for sexual reasons; not even close and I’m definitely not one who enjoys pain. 

I’m feeling depressed even now at the thought it will never happen and I’ve felt this in the past and also feeling depressed over the fact maybe I’m just weird. Albeit, I don’t want just anyone to do it.

 

I know people struggle with these thoughts sometimes and maybe I did at one time too. But now, I consider it to be a gift and I'm the luckiest person in the world to be able to share the gift with other like-minded people. And no, you don't want just anyone to do it. I'm wondering where you have been looking.  Online only? If you can tell me what city you are in in Canada, maybe I can help with some ideas for meeting people. 

Have you gotten to the point yet where it is easy to admit your desires to others? That goes a long way, but it typically comes with time. I am "out" to one of my sisters and a number of vanilla friends. At one time, I would have walked over hot coals before letting anyone know. But I discovered that no one really cares what I am into - they all have their own stuff to worry about. And some of them were intrigued by it (and possibly a bit jealous). It sounds like you are not yet comfortable in your own skin and that can be a process, but you have to take the steps - no one can do that for you.

[richardshropton]

Dear Erica

This is how it has been for me in England. It is not as though I wanted it when at school. I was terrified!

Best Wishes

R

[secretman]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. 

I think every single person on this site has had that exact same thought at some point in their lives. I know I did, and so has just about everyone I've talked to. It wasn't true for them, and it's not true for you. 

You deserve to feel proud of yourself for being honest and acknowledging your needs, and to feel safe discussing them and exploring them as much as you want to. 

Edited March 3 by secretman

[EricaAlex89]

9 hours ago, IMLX said:

I think the following two videos, one by Princess Kelley May

https://youtu.be/eKH-XUfKZ4U

 

and this one by Jillian Keenan

will help you see there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

 

 

 

 

I’ll check it out when I have a chance. 

[EricaAlex89]

6 hours ago, LightCruiser said:

What I'm getting is that you're craving for someone you love and trust to "take the wheel" so to speak. If you're having difficulties in life, which it sounds like you are, it's hard to be self-disciplined sometimes. It can sound nice to have someone else take care of that for you, and give you the incentive and motivation to do good that you wish you could give yourself. In my experience with depression, self-motivation is extremely hard. So to answer your question, I'd say nothing's wrong with YOU particularly unless you count the depression itself.

 

[EricaAlex89]

Yeah, I didn’t know how to put it into words but what you said I think is how I’m actually feeling.

[DisobedientHuby]

It's hard to reconcile in your mind.  You want and need structure.  Rules and consiquenses are part of that structure and you know it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be held accountable.  I crave my wife's discipline more because of the emotional closeness it brings than anything else.  When she is upset with me I feel distant from her but when she corrects me and lets me know she is doing it because she loves me.  It's like my whole world is back in balance 

[LightCruiser]

5 hours ago, EricaAlex89 said:

Yeah, I didn’t know how to put it into words but what you said I think is how I’m actually feeling.

I hope you find someone kind to give you the guidance you need. Make sure it's someone you can trust though. The wrong person can abuse that power to be overly controlling or mean to you, and that WILL make things worse. A cruel mentor is worse than no mentor, even. So be careful, and remember: Your happiness is important and you have the right to end any of these arrangements if it's not working for you. That said, deferring to the right person and letting them discipline you could definitely be helpful for you!

[FiguringItOut]

Nothing is wrong with you. You are ahead of the game. You realize what you want and need. And you are still having the good sense to want it to be with someone you trust. All of those sound like good, smart, and well reasoned thoughts. So nothing is wrong with you. You have a common desire that is still somehow viewed taboo by many and are just stating something many have figured out and are too scared to voice due to societal norms.   

[danadares]

I grew up thinking I was alone, and there was something wrong with me, but I eventually learned there are other people with the same or similar interests and desires, and that judgments are just an opinion. We're a small minority, so to many people we're weird. I'm fine with that. We're not harming anyone. Even if it was somehow proven that my fascination with spanking as punishment was "something wrong with me," it would make no difference. I am who I am. You are who you are. I embrace what makes me happy.

[Scorrect]

Yes, EricaAlex89, there is something wrong with you.  You are being way to self critical. I’m guessing that this is a longstanding, well practiced habit.  Time to start affirming yourself instead of beating yourself up.  As you replace this old, “bad,” habit with a “good ” new one, you’ll find that your feelings of depression will disappear. Trust me (and others who have already responded to your post above):  THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. PLEASE BE KIND TO YOURSELF. YOU ARE WELL WORTH IT!!!!!

Now, go get some sleep, eat healthy stuff, and do all the affirming self care things you’ve been neglecting.  Then, carefully choose a caring ER and have a spanking good time.

[Needing correction!]

You are far from alone. 

On the www many references to 'adult spanking' seem geared overtly or implicitly to something titillating or erotic. It's easy to infer that it's the norm for adult spanking 

But there are many of us who need correction in a manner that is not (at least prima facie) sexual.

In my case, it has been helpful:

-it has helped me to control some negative behaviours, esp regarding driving too fast and neglect of health 

-it helps me to cope with guilt: I find a momentarily severely stinging bottom to be preferable to a long term stinging conscience

-it helps me to accept forgiveness having paid a 'price' 

As a heterosexual male caned by a heterosexual male, there is nothing in the least erotic: only serious sting!  Nothing bizarre or excessive, just the sort of sore bum I had as a teenager. 

I dislike being caned: but being subject to the cane is oddly reassuring. It's back to the cycle of 

-offence 

-sore bottom

-peace 

You are NOT alone: I recommend it! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[selfsp12]

As many others have said you are not alone, perfectly normal (if the word normal applies. so many 'normal' people these days are actually quite crackers). 

I felt alone and embarrassed for many years, after my need showed itself about 15 years ago. This site, video's by Princess Kelly May and Jillian Keenan, and some other sites helped me 'come out' to myself so to speak. I crave being spanked, sometimes so much I feel like I can taste it. I have no one to spank me, so I've adopted a do it yourself approach.

Now I consider my need a true gift. Getting spanked (even if by myself) gives me a feel of being much less stressed, at peace, and more focused. 

My advice, embrace it and go forward, and not to overstate it, proceed safely.

[RedBottomBill333]

On 3/3/2023 at 8:44 AM, dmirk said:

There’s nothing wrong with you. 
 

I’ve known and spanked a couple in your exact situation.  They not so much want spankings - actually hate them - but feel they need them. Usually for a specific behavior but not always. 

Read Keenan’s book Sex with Shakespeare  She also does podcasts which I think will help you realize that you are special, not sick in any way. 

[Chawsee]

@IMLX- Thanks for posting these two videos. I watched and bookmarked both of them. Princess Kelley May always shares such helpful ideas, as she does here, and Jillian Keenan is refreshingly honest and direct. She gets some laughs out of me every time. I'm sure others, too, will find these helpful.

[Maxkit5]

This fetish is very varied why people like our need to be spanked, from childhood issues, to masochistic tendencies and everything in between. Why you feel the need to be harshly punished could be many reasons. I have a couple questions tho.

1) Have you ever been spanked in this way? Sometimes the fantasy of getting spanked is far from the reality. The thought might seem what you want but the reality of a harsh spanking isn't much fun, it hurts. Just saying.

2) Have your ever tried self spanking? This might show you the reality of getting spanked.