New and a tad nervous.

[EricaAlex89]

So not sure where to start but I am a 33 year old female (been told I look younger than my age) and I have never been spanked other than twice as a child which I don’t really remember. Over the last few years I’ve developed an interest in spanking; but as I said I’m nervous about seeking or approaching; despite desiring  some discipline. I’d definitely say I’m a submissive and a spanker though. When it comes to what I’m looking for in a spanker…..

Mostly male

possibly female

Friend/mentor

NO relationship or sexual activity of any kind.

Father figure would be nice as I lacked this but not necessary.

Hand only for now.

Mostly for discipline

some roleplay

other punishments that could be discussed before hand; to add in humiliation but no extra pain.

 

 

[LightCruiser]

I hope you get some takers! I'm a lot younger than you and hundreds of miles away so it wouldn't make sense for me personally to do it, lol. 

[Chawsee]

Hi Erica! Welcome to SN.  This is a great place to learn about your kink and build friendships. Start by reading carefully the safety section of the forum. This is paramount. It's good that you're nervous (if it's the smart kind of nervous), as this indicates that you have a better head on your shoulders than a gal who wants a spanking so desperately that she foolishly throws all caution to the wind. Men clamor to posts like yours here, kinda like male dogs to a female hound in heat. So weed carefully through them. Check out their profiles and read their posts to get an idea of how they think and the quality of their values. If they've never posted anything, or if what they've written is sketchy, run-- don't walk, away. You're in a sea of spankers here. Choose wisely. 

[Bramblewine]

Congratulations on taking the first step! My heart was pounding a mile a minute when I joined this site... and it was just joining a site, anonymously!

That was two and a half years ago. I'm finally about to meet a potential spanko friend irl. Who I was virtually introduced to by someone on this site.

If I hadn't joined in the thick of pandemic shutdown, I might have stepped out into the real world a little sooner. 

Second @Chawsee's recommendation of carefully vetting people. Don't agree to meet anyone irl until you have some sense of who they are. Don't go off with anyone for a spanking until you've met them in a public place a few times and gotten to know them at least as a friend. Know who you're playing with.

[Davyd]

Welcome Erica, 

I agree with the good advice Chawsee has given you.  I will encourage you to go slowly. Its great to see you are already thinking about the type of spanker you would be comfortable with. Its not easy to find decent spankers who respect the ones they spank.

When first contacted online make sure you do not share personal information right away. Take the initiative and ask questions... What experience does the spanker have? Ask him for references. Most will say its confidential but a genuine spanker should have no problem putting you in touch with a few he spanks.

I am often amazed at how much intuition women have compared to us men! Never keep in contact with someone you have a "sense" something is not quite right. I know more than one person who ignored their gut feeling and it did not turn out well for them. 

We have to accept that spanking and wanting to be spanked carries a certain risk. its worth taking your time to find out as much as you about who the person is and their style of spanking... For your first meeting with a spanker, always make it in a safe place, coffee shop etc. 

From one Canadian to another.. even if I am presently in the States...  Take real care

[RossCaliban]

Yes, welcome to the group! There's a regional section once you've had some time to get acquainted, it's a big country after all. 

[spankingpurist]

Welcome!  Chawsee & Bramblewine have already made the points I would have.  If you follow their thoughtful advice, you’ll be on the right path to turning your nervousness into a safe, spanking fun time. Good luck!

[Cowboy_Spanks30]

Hello and welcome. Take a deep breath and relax, you're among friends but we do spank.

[EricaAlex89]

On 2/25/2023 at 8:30 PM, Chawsee said:

Hi Erica! Welcome to SN.  This is a great place to learn about your kink and build friendships. Start by reading carefully the safety section of the forum. This is paramount. It's good that you're nervous (if it's the smart kind of nervous), as this indicates that you have a better head on your shoulders than a gal who wants a spanking so desperately that she foolishly throws all caution to the wind. Men clamor to posts like yours here, kinda like male dogs to a female hound in heat. So weed carefully through them. Check out their profiles and read their posts to get an idea of how they think and the quality of their values. If they've never posted anything, or if what they've written is sketchy, run-- don't walk, away. You're in a sea of spankers here. Choose wisely. 

That’s great advice. ^^

[nicklead123]

Hi EricaAlex,

Welcome to this great community. I’m 45 and I had/have as much nervousness that you have. Enjoy the journey. 

[Maxkit5]

Hi Erica, where in canada are you? I'm in Kelowna bc. 

[shygurl]

4 hours ago, Maxkit5 said:

Hi Erica, where in canada are you? I'm in Kelowna bc. 

Removed your email address. Please do not post personal info in the open forums.