Obedience is Important

[DisobedientHuby]

I think in a WLM obediance is critical.  Really in any kind of DD the purpose of punishing someone is usually because they broke a rule or did something the ER told them not to do. 

Last week I had a couple of days off and before we left my wife had told me that she wanted the floors swept and mopped but in the rush to get out of town she would allow me to do it when we got back. 

I was supposed to do it on Sunday but we ended up being away from the house most of the day.  When we got home we were exhausted and she forgot that she had assigned the chore to me and that I had agreed to get it done on Sunday.  Monday came and went and she forgot again and I did not remind her and did not do it.  On Tuesday she had me put the vacume in the living room to remind her.  Tuesday evening she told me to get it done and I worked until almost bedtime cleaning, vacuuming and moping.  Then she let me go to bed.  This morning Wednesday when I came to get my morning kiss and hug before getting to far into my day.  She announced that she owed me a spanking for disobeying her and not getting the chore done on Sunday and that my procrastination was not Ok and that she should not need to remind me to do something.  I had Been told. On top of it all I had insinuated that she had procrastinated on something.   She reminded me that she is the boss and what she does or does not do is not my business.  I am to do what she tells me to do and not doing it is disobedience. 

Shortly after she got out of bed I was ordered to fetch the paddle bare my bottom and get bend over the corner of the bed.  She paddled fast and hard for over a minute and I was on fire.   She started lecturing me about how procrasting is disobedience.  She also reminded me that she is the boss and I better mind my own business which is just to obey her. 

Then she assigned me another chore which she would have done if I had not disobeyed her and opened my mouth about something that was not my business and that the chore was to be done today or else I would be getting another spanking  before bedtime. 

She was really scorching my bottom and I was begging for it to be over but she said no she was not finished.  She then wrapped her left arm over me and pinned my right arm to my side so that I could not cover my butt to protect myself and drove her point home.  During hardest swats at the end she said I better not have to spank you again tonight or tomorrow.  You will obey me and get that done and be on your best behavior do you understand.  I would have agreed to anything to get her to stop.   When she did my eyes where watering and my bottom was on fire.  

I love her for holding me accountable

 

 

 

 

 

 

[spankingpurist]

I’m unclear about whether you intentionally didn’t complete the chore, forgot about the chore, or encountered circumstances that warranted a temporary reprieve.  It sounds like you didn’t forget that the chore had been assigned and could have done it on Monday or earlier on Tuesday than in the evening when she reminded you. If that account is accurate, then you intentionally shirked and she should have spanked you very soundly on Monday afternoon, and, then, made you finish the chores, before being sent to bed without your supper.

[DisobedientHuby]

11 hours ago, spankingpurist said:

I’m unclear about whether you intentionally didn’t complete the chore, forgot about the chore, or encountered circumstances that warranted a temporary reprieve.  It sounds like you didn’t forget that the chore had been assigned and could have done it on Monday or earlier on Tuesday than in the evening when she reminded you. If that account is accurate, then you intentionally shirked and she should have spanked you very soundly on Monday afternoon, and, then, made you finish the chores, before being sent to bed without your supper.

I most definitely intentionally shirked.  I did get a spanking for it but not until Wednesday after I had completed it on Tuesday evening and was sent to bed without the spanking thinking I had gotten away with it.  Wednesday she paddled me fast and hard for having not done it has expected on Sunday.  My bottom is still a little sore. 

[SpankorBSpanked]

It never ceases to amaze me how some husbands will PURPOSELY shirk off a chore, or procrastinate, just to provoke a spanking.  Not sure whether it is because they enjoy the "idea" of being spanked, or the spanking itself, but IMHO, I think it is disrespectful.  An FLR isn't, and shouldn't be, a "game" . . . That's just my 2 cents 

[DisobedientHuby]

1 hour ago, SpankorBSpanked said:

It never ceases to amaze me how some husbands will PURPOSELY shirk off a chore, or procrastinate, just to provoke a spanking.  Not sure whether it is because they enjoy the "idea" of being spanked, or the spanking itself, but IMHO, I think it is disrespectful.  An FLR isn't, and shouldn't be, a "game" . . . That's just my 2 cents 

I did purposely procrastinate, but I did not do it to get a spanking.  The only excuse I have was I was to tired but I agree it was disrespectful and it is one of those things that I hope we will on.   I work a lot of hours and am required to do most of the chores but I agreed to all of this and I need to live up to my responsibities and it would have been one thing if I asked to delay it and she agreed but I knew she would forget it because she was distracted with balancing the check book and other things that require her to make critical descions for us. 

I used her distractions to intentionally delay.  

She called me on it and I got spanked for procrastination and disrespect.  

When she finished my bare bottom was on fire.  

I want an FLR and respect her when she follows thru.  

I did do the additional chore she assigned me in the required time and she was pleased with that.  

However, we had an incident yesterday.  I got angry over an accident she dropped a can of soda which spilled all over my clean kitchen floor.  I kind of got upset and angry with her over it.  It was an a accident and she was already upset about it and I was not supportive at all instead I was angry because I had worked so hard to get the kitchen spotless.  It might be understandable that I got upset but I took it out on her and she was crying and upset that it happened and that I made it worse by getting angry.  She would have spanked me there an then but she was too upset. I know when she calms down and thinks about my selfish attitude I will be getting an attitude adjustment 

[spankingpurist]

Oh my goodness.  For your sake, I hope she reads this thread and makes it abundantly clear that you’re treading on very thin ice.

Lent has just started. Sounds like your wife needs to take you to the woodshed for a serious “come to Jesus” meeting.  If an EE behaved that way to me, she wouldn’t sit comfortably for a week.  Then, I’d have another meeting each week for the entire season of Lent.  If she slipped up in between meetings, I’d paddle her blistered behind immediately each time with no mercy. By Easter, she’d be behaving dramatically better.  Then, with the proper apologies, I’d forgive her and we’d start again with a clean slate.

[Spankingmyhuby]

3 minutes ago, spankingpurist said:

Oh my goodness.  For your sake, I hope she reads this thread and makes it abundantly clear that you’re treading on very thin ice.

Lent has just started. Sounds like your wife needs to take you to the woodshed for a serious “come to Jesus” meeting.  If an EE behaved that way to me, she wouldn’t sit comfortably for a week.  Then, I’d have another meeting each week for the entire season of Lent.  If she slipped up in between meetings, I’d paddle her blistered behind immediately each time with no mercy. By Easter, she’d be behaving dramatically better.  Then, with the proper apologies, I’d forgive her and we’d start again with a clean slate.

Oh my you are absolutely right. I am afraid one disobedienthuby would be sorry husband if he was under my roof.

By the amount of spankings he is receiving it's quite obvious that she needs to turn the heat up on his bare behind. Just the fact that he wants to be spanked continuously tells me that harsher punishments needs to be administered. 

My husband would never consider acting this way,he knows better. Disobedienthuby is not living a Flr lifestyle, his behavior is not permitted in this lifestyle. Hopefully his wife will take him to the woodshed ,where I take my husband on occasion.

MS L.

[OhRedhead]

I think the opposite needs to happen, to be honest, for real punishment. No more spankings given. That would probably be a pretty good motivator given that you do seem to enjoy all this. Misbehaving over and over on purpose and saying that is just how you are is not respectful or mature, even in a DD relationship. We are all adults, after all. Just my 2 cents.

[Spankingmyhuby]

4 hours ago, SpankorBSpanked said:

It never ceases to amaze me how some husbands will PURPOSELY shirk off a chore, or procrastinate, just to provoke a spanking.  Not sure whether it is because they enjoy the "idea" of being spanked, or the spanking itself, but IMHO, I think it is disrespectful.  An FLR isn't, and shouldn't be, a "game" . . . That's just my 2 cents 

A very good Post! It's quite clear you understand the meaning of a Flr relationships.

I have good loving husband but he understands provoking a spanking becomes a total mistake and he is sorry after our over the knee discussion. That being said he fully understands the meaning of flr and acknowledges who is in control. Flr is not a joke ! 

MS L.

[OhRedhead]

Maybe instead of provoking all the time, you could learn to ask for what you need. Less drama, conflict in your marriage, more respect, and you still get what you are craving. Just an idea.

[Spankingmyhuby]

18 minutes ago, OhRedhead said:

I think the opposite needs to happen, to be honest, for real punishment. No more spankings given. That would probably be a pretty good motivator given that you do seem to enjoy all this. Misbehaving over and over on purpose and saying that is just how you are is not respectful or mature, even in a DD relationship. We are all adults, after all. Just my 2 cents.

Yes you made a very good point. Additional punishments are also useful. When I take my husband tv privileges away and he can't watch sports that is real punishment adding to sitting on a sore bottom . 

Punishment spankings are not suppose to be enjoyable if given properly . 

MS L.

[Spanknutt]

6 minutes ago, Spankingmyhuby said:

 

Punishment spankings are not suppose to be enjoyable if given properly . 

 

I have always maintained that discipline spankings are designed to modify behavior. In order to modify behavior, they have to be feared. In order to be feared, they have to hurt enough to deter the behavior in the future. Having said that, I understand that EEs don't seem to be able to go too long without one so maybe a little maintenance would help in this situation and help eliminate the urge to deliberately shirk. If I someone deliberately breaks a rule to get spanked, that defeats the purpose and integrity of the dynamic. As a couple of others have mentioned, maybe some other consequences should be in order. I have worked with someone for weight-loss and when she would badly miss a goal I would take all sweets away for a period of time - I think she hated that more than the spankings.

 

[Spankingmyhuby]

3 hours ago, Spanknutt said:

I have always maintained that discipline spankings are designed to modify behavior. In order to modify behavior, they have to be feared. In order to be feared, they have to hurt enough to deter repeating the behavior in the future. Having said that, I understand that EEs don't seem to be able to go too long without one so maybe a little maintenance would help in this situation to help eliminate the urge to deliberately shirk. If someone deliberately breaks a rule to get spanked, that defeats the purpose and compromises integrity of the DD dynamic. As a couple of others have mentioned, maybe some other consequences should be in order. I have worked with someone for weight-loss and when she would badly miss a goal I would take all sweets away for a period of time - I think she hated that more than the spankings.

 

Yes a excellent post! Most definitely a more convincing maintenance spanking weekly would be useful. This has worked in our marriage. My husband does get punishment spankings and they have decreased since I turned up the severity of the maintenance correction.

You are so right about purposely behaving, this is unacceptable and not permitted in a true relationship when one is in charge.

MS. L

[danadares]

1 hour ago, OhRedhead said:

Maybe instead of provoking all the time, you could learn to ask for what you need. Less drama, conflict in your marriage, more respect, and you still get what you are craving. Just an idea.

Sounds like a good idea. For people who have this constant urge to be spanked, but are also looking for discipline, spanking could be a reward rather than a punishment. When there's no problem, one gets their maintenance spanking or by asking. When punishment is warranted, no spanking. Are we on to something here?

[Debraspanks]

We don't have a very serious FLR marriage but if my husband ever does something intentionally to provoke a spanking, he won't be getting one for a long time. I won't have myself taken advantage of that way. We are both adults and I expect him to simply ask for one if he needs one. I do my best to read his needs but ultimately, I am his wife who has already agreed to fulfil his spanking needs, so any kind of drama to trick me into spanking him will only make me lose interest in the subject.  He already knows this and there are times he has asked for a spanking himself. And at least for me, it's a great feeling to be asked by my submissive and I  very gladly fulfil his need. 

[DisobedientHuby]

I admit to dilbertly putting off a chore but I did not do it to get a spanking.  I do not intentionally do things to get spanked.  The spankings she give me are very painful and I do fear them. I admit I have issues with self control if I could stop my bad habits I would have done so.  That is why I asked her to start spanking me in the first place.  However, that being said there is a sexual component, not to the spanking its self but to the fantasy of it and the feelings of love I feel afterwards. She will use alternate methods if she feels she needs to like corner time. 

She wants to meet my needs and desires and I find it hard to ask for a spanking until I have done something deserving of one.  When,  I have crossed the line and upset her I will tell her what I think I deserve but of course it's completely up to her. 

We all come her because we need someone to understand why we desire to spank or be spanked.  I used to spank my ex wife but there was no connection and it turned out to be a loveless marriage.  

When I met my current wife I determined to love her all the days of my life and I do, but my selfishness and male ego has gotten in the way too many times.

In a marriage there can only be on leader.  I was raised to believe it has to be the man.  The truth is selfishness disqualified me from leader her so I asked her to take charge not only to lead me but to correct my selfish behavior.  I dare to say that there is not one couple who gets an FLR right all the time we are both working on it.  

I have asked her to punish me for my outburst and I know she will but it has to be in her timing and her way.  I have asked for a spanking she ultimately has to determine how to deal with me.  I know she loves me in spite of my bad behavior.  I want her to help me be a better husband she can be really proud of.  Any husband EE who is on here is here because they desire to be spanked and feel they need it.   It's really about trusting her to punish out of love just like my mom should have.  I was spoiled and was rarely punished because my parents we're to busy punishing my older brothers. 

[OhRedhead]

I think that when you have gotten to a place where making actual positive changes would decrease or cut off what you desire the most, it is time to reevaluate. That is not a great set up for harmony and growth. You DO ask for spankings. You just do it AFTER you have been disrespectful.

[brittygirl]

I’m going to be honest, a lot of these postings don’t really ring true. Several of the posters don’t either. But if it is real and true, it sounds like you’d benefit more from creating funishment scenarios in order to get spanked rather than deliberately trying to get them. This is a part of why DD doesn’t work well with spankos (imho), and it highlights where things could very well go south again. I’ve been there and done that, it’s not fun for anyone. 

Edited February 24 by brittygirl

[DisobedientHuby]

8 minutes ago, brittygirl said:

I’m going to be honest, a lot of these postings don’t really ring true. Several of the posters don’t either. But if it is real and true, it sounds like you’d benefit more from creating funishment scenarios in order to get spanked rather than deliberately trying to get them. This is a part of why DD doesn’t work well with spankos (imho), and it highlights where things could very well go south again. I’ve been there and done that, it’s not fun for anyone. 

I don't deliberately do something in order to get a spanking but I do crave them when I have done something that has upset her.  I want her to be happy.  It's not fun for me.  They are painful as they should be.  As far as them not being a deterent that's a little more difficult. I truly belive that they are  helping me.  I have stopped some of the habits that upset her completely and we are working on others. What I don't understand is why some people want to be so impatient about it.  Change takes time and work.  I think the spanking works for me especially if she does it long enough and hard enough for the soreness to last several days.  That being said she can punish me in other ways that are also effective such as corner time or loss of privliages and being grounded.  These things would also be effective and we have talked about them but the one she finds most effective is long periods of time in the corner particularly after a hard spanking. 

[danadares]

There's paradox involved in being a spanko and wanting a DD relationship. The contradiction in getting what you want and calling it punishment will always exist, but that doesn't make the desire go away. You must find a partner who wants the same thing from the other side of the equation. If your wife is happy, and the marriage is not being undermined, then be thankful. If she's not happy, then one wonders how it can work.

Posting about it online, people are going to question this dynamic, wonder how it makes sense or if it's real, and give advice but, ultimately, it's your life, so make the best of it. I wish you well.

[Summer]

I guess I read your original post differently than others did. I didn’t see that you did it to provoke a spanking. Sometimes we, even as adults, procrastinate. Especially if we think it’s not something that’s being noticed. By noticed I mean that it’s not directly negatively impacting anyone in real time. Yes, a chore not being done impacts peace and calm in the home over time, but most of the time failing to do one at a specific time isn’t hurting anyone. 
 

I think you were appropriately punished and it sounds like your good behavior has been restored for now. 
 

I would not be okay in a relationship in which I was told that my partner can do as they please and it’s none of my business, but if that’s what you and your wife agreed to, then that’s what works for you. 
 

Perhaps maintenance would be helpful. I know you said you don’t like being spanked for things you haven’t done, but if you’re already sore from maintenance, you’re going to be less likely to allow yourself to procrastinate. If the goal is to work toward improving behavior, maintenance even temporarily may be helpful. Only you and your wife would know that. 

[DisobedientHuby]

Again I think a lot of things I have said have been misunderstood.  I get spanked frequently not because I am going out of my way to get a spanking but I'm also asking her for help with some habits that she finds annoying.  I don't want to get into the weeds my point is I still feel like we need to be in a trading period and that means maintance spanking I don't like to ask for spankings but will if I feel like I need one.  I received what I would call a maintenance spanking this morning to make sure to not repeat a bad habit.  I don't have an issue with her telling me to mind my own business because I asked her to be in charge of everything because I trust her.  She will answer questions as long as they are asked in a respectful way and it is something I need to know.  I asked for an FLR I want her to set rules and enforce them.  It's not always with a spanking but to be honest I prefer to be spanked because it makes me more focused a sore bottom makes me focus most if not all day.  Corner time is just not as memorable. 

I don't intentionally do things to get spanked but attitude is really hard for me to maintain this means frequent spanking is required.