Will the number of spankos decline over the coming years do you think?

[nasbb]

I got thinking the other day as I was flicking through some profiles here - majority of us (myself included) I think are of an "older" generation and for most I think interest in spanking was triggered usually early on in life by either being spanked yourself, seeing spanking in movies, reading about spanking in comics, books or even if you weren't spanked growing up there was generally some conversation of getting a spanking or knowing someone who was spanked etc. 

For the generation reaching adulthood now its likely vast majority will never have been spanked - at least in Europe, corporal punishment is gone from schools for decades, its against the law in a lot of countries to spank and while I won't say it doesn't happen its definitely a lot less common. Similarly in children's books, cartoons and current movies they reflect current society generally so there is no corporal punishment depicted or is very rare. Its now more of the Fifty Shades variety etc which is sort of more mainstream BDSM.

So begs the question, if people are not "aware" so much of spanking growing up will the number of adults spankos decrease do you think over the coming years ? I think there will always be a certain amount as with any kink or fetish people will discover it but I think spanking is probably by far the most common one today. 

Would be interested to hear opinions of any of younger (under 30) people as to how you were first introduced to it and knew it was something you wanted/needed. 

Edited March 8 by Drooaygah
Reducing the spanking/parenting/real-life kids content

[countspankulot]

I was having similar thoughts while browsing the clubs section and noticing that the Senior Spanko club has 588 members. I wonder what the median age of members on this site is and whether that would even be an indication of the age of spankos in the wider world.

I'm definitely not from the younger generation so I can't offer any opinions on the future.

[arguy]

That is a great point. Society has put the hammer down on using spanking. It will have to come in the form of a kink for many younger, which it is. I think perhaps the lines will be less blurred. Younger people also aren't as ready to admit this kind of stuff publicly yet. When we get older, we realize that we can't deny our desires. Will be interesting to see.

[Lotsapappa]

I was outed as EE about 15 years ago. In our age group, being a spanko was not understood or accepted. Anyone volunteer they were a spanko 70-2000? Probably not. 

I made the move to ER reluctantly (at first) as females in a wider and wider circle -  20 even 30 years younger - heard about me & TTWD. While the majority were amused (and a few put off/WTF), those with even the slightest spanking gene wanted to know more. 

My point is school punishment is no longer accepted, but school punishment was not root cause imho. Spankos are born with this gift. Internet, Hollywood, kink aware professionals and even Amazon (carrying bath brushes never sees a bathroom) make it more acceptable and much easier to explore. We have SN now - go back Manhattan 80s/90s and try to separate a spanko from the leathers. 

Imho Spanking with go route of Pluto. Demoted not even a fetish and Spankos will be demoted to Vanillas. 

 

[rubyredd]

I do not think the number of spankos will decline. Many spankos were never hit as kids and we still became spankos. I believe most of us are born this way - rather than made... 

• Not everyone who was hit as a child becomes a spanko - the vast majority do not, in fact, become spankos.

• Not every spanko was hit as a child. 

So, it doesn't seem like exposure to spanking necessarily creates a spanko. 

 

[boy_otk]

15 minutes ago, rubyredd said:

I do not think the number of spankos will decline. Many spankos were never hit as kids and we still became spankos. I believe most of us are born this way - rather than made... 

• Not everyone who was hit as a child becomes a spanko - the vast majority do not, in fact, become spankos.

• Not every spanko was hit as a child. 

So, it doesn't seem like exposure to spanking necessarily creates a spanko. 

 

I couldn't agree more. Infact, I think there will be MORE spankos in the future. Everyone has better access to internet now and they can explore a lot more. I believe this will create more number of  spankos with a healthy mindset, since they would be exploring spanking by their own right and interest, without having to be subjected to it during their defenseless years. 

I hope the quality of the spanking community improves and I really wish that starting from the next generation, there won't be people talking about minor spankings in the chatroom because they can finally differentiate between an adult  kink/fetish and child abuse. 

[DaChief]

Just building in what Ruby said. 

I still see a lot of younger people coming into this lifestyle and it's more prevalent on FetLife than here that I hear from a lot of ee's who are young enough to be my daughter. 

As Ruby said, many people 40+ weren't spanked as kids, yet became spankos and the majority who were spanked didn't become spankos. That won't change.

What may change is the social perceptions around it and how the next generation manifests the spanko thing when they come of age. The generation coming of age now, in the US at least, still attaches parental connotations to this. Will that shift with the next generation?

That will take another 10 - 15 years to play out. 

[nasbb]

It will be interesting to see how it turns out alright. I agree the internet is a big enabler to allow people to discover and explore their kinks. Perhaps it will happen later in life for people as they and start having relationships etc. 

[Zhal]

I don't know the number, but there is an amount of spankos who weren't spanked as children, who come to spanking because they felt like they missed out by not getting spanked. That may indicate a flaw on psychological thought behind corporal punishment as well, just seeing as how seemingly "common" it appears to be here.

Regarding laws, just because something is illegal, doesn't mean it isn't being done. That's all I'm going to say on that one.

Younger generations will still find references to spanking somewhere, and it might pique their interest. Granted, they might know the other terms that were used to reference spanking. For example, I remember in middle school a teacher pointing out the line "and the seat of his pants were dusted" to mean the character in the poem got spanked.

There's a clothing line called "Spanx", that alone, is probably enough to get people searching.

[brittygirl]

This is such an interesting discussion! I’m in my early 30’s and wasn’t spanked growing up and I am still a spanko. I’ve also never had any fantasies about parental spanking or feeling like I missed out. My fantasies even as a kid were about husband/boyfriend/girlfriend/older brothers friend/etc. Personally, I think it’s AMAZING that we are moving away from CP being acceptable to use on underage/unconsenting persons. The research that shows the long term damage is enough for me. 
 

So what I think, is we’ll begin to see a more “healthy” crop of spankos come up. Ones that don’t hold trauma bonds from childhood, ones that have lessened the misogynistic undertones and attitudes from some of the older domholes we run into on occasion, and we’ll see some cool moving and shifting!

[selfsp12]

2 hours ago, Lotsapappa said:

Amazon (carrying bath brushes never sees a bathroom)

I have a couple of those. I always wondered what the bristles were for😀

[dmirk]

Well, based on experience within here there are a fair number of young spankos. 
 

I’ve met 5 who were 23 or younger. 
 

I realize this isn’t scientific evidence but there it is. 
 

Two hardwired spankos and three who had never been spanked and wanted to see if it helped. Two decided it did and one didn’t. 

[MargaretMom]

On 2/20/2023 at 9:22 AM, Zhal said:

Regarding laws, just because something is illegal, doesn't mean it isn't being done. That's all I'm going to say on that one.

As for the future of adult spanking, my prediction (actually wild guess) is that the combination of the internet and the number of children growing up with an unfulfilled need for strict discipline will cause a significant increase in the number of spankees. But I wonder if there might be a decrease in the number of (non-sexual) spankers due to the lack of parental role models for that. Anyway that is just my wild guess. I am curious to hear what is actually happening.

 

Edited March 8 by Drooaygah
Removing spanking debate content

[Otkmedicine]

3 hours ago, rubyredd said:

I do not think the number of spankos will decline. Many spankos were never hit as kids and we still became spankos. I believe most of us are born this way - rather than made... 

• Not everyone who was hit as a child becomes a spanko - the vast majority do not, in fact, become spankos.

• Not every spanko was hit as a child. 

So, it doesn't seem like exposure to spanking necessarily creates a spanko. 

 

I was never spanked growing up but i did witness a bare bottom spanking when i was young. That hooked me. I think nasbb is right as young people won’t be able to witness a spanking growing up like us older folks.

[SpankorBSpanked]

I was never spanked as a kid, and I have no idea how I first became interested in spanking.  That said, I don't think it will become less prevalent at all . . . I think it will actually be the opposite.  It seems EVERYTHING is now being "allowed" and I can see spanking becoming more and more common-place.  Just my 2-cents . . .

[SkipNC]

Without looking for them, I have noticed an uptick in mainstream media articles about spanking in the last year or two.  Most of them are mediocre at best, but if the content is out there in places like The Guardian (or the Grauniad as it is affectionately known in the UK) people are going to get interested and do their own research.  That's where a community like this comes in.

[StrictGent]

If you go to any of the major spanking parties in the US you'll notice a considerable presence of spankos in their 20s. That suggest two things to me: (1) there will always be spankos, and (2) the younger generations will be more active in seeking out what they need. 

Yay is both of those are right!

[rubyredd]

2 hours ago, Otkmedicine said:

I was never spanked growing up but i did witness a bare bottom spanking when i was young. That hooked me. I think nasbb is right as young people won’t be able to witness a spanking growing up like us older folks.

I certainly never witnessed one. I have never had a single parental spanking fantasy - and it really plays no part in my spankoness at all. I don't think witnessing a spanking is a prerequisite to being a spanko. 

[Lotsapappa]

As part of older group of active and experienced, I think we have a responsibility to make it easier for the younger to become satisfied Spankos.

In WW2, paratroopers carried cricket clickers to clic clac to identify each other. Followed by voice  exchange such as “flash” & “thunder”.

Amazon carriers replicas of these clickers. And when combined with bath brush, I believe you get next day delivery if a Prime. 

I think EE should clic and if ER within range clac in response. Then sort out vocal handshake.

Marco Polo and It was tried in 90’s but too many misunderstandings…

[danadares]

There are different kinds of spankos. Spanking is not one fetish, but a variety of kinks that have spanking as a common aspect. Spanking is sexual for many people, regardless of their experiences as children. Power exchange is sexual. Various aspects of vulnerability are sexual. The butt is an erogenous zone for many.

Parental spanking and/or school corporal punishment can be a primary focus for many of us who grew up with it. The experiences were profound for us. Power exchange is modeled after traditional authority figures. Vulnerability is the helplessness a child feels, yet possibly mitigated by the safety under parent/teacher authority. Embarrassment or humiliation themes center around the shame of punishment, and/or the sexual nature of being spanked on the buttocks. So, if spanking in the context of home and school discipline is eliminated, it stands to reason there will be less spankos with that real-life connection to it. However, even just reading about it in a historical context, or seeing a spanking in an old cartoon can awaken the obsession that some people have for traditional discipline. I don't know why, but that appears to be a fact of life.

[Chawsee]

This is a great question, and one that hasn't been raised repeatedly, like so many that we see over and over. So thanks, @nasbb, for coming up with a new and thought-provoking topic. 

I'm from the older generation that was spanked. There were, undoubtedly, kids in my day who weren't, but I didn't personally know any. Everyone I grew up with got spanked. I know, because sooner or later they'd talk about it. It wasn't viewed as abuse, because it was something everyone experienced, and it was considered just part of being "raised right." Then again, I'm from a small rural town, where that brand of child-rearing in the 70s and 80s was likely more commonplace.

Something I find interesting, and noticed early on, is that the spankees who contact me here on SN can be divided cleanly into approximately 50/50. 50% were spanked growing up, and 50% weren't. The vast majority who were spanked are around my age or older. They have fond memories of the caring they felt from their mother's discipline, and that is something I can reproduce for them. 

The 50% who were never spanked as kids are almost always of the younger generation, usually in their 20s or 30s, or from a country other than the US. Yet, ironically, maternal spanking is something they feel they missed and want to experience. (I'm sure many DON'T want the "maternal" variety of spanking, but since that's what I specialize in, it's those wired this way who tend to come to me.)

So this gets me realizing that we're the last of a dying breed. I embrace the new, younger folks with a need for spankings. Bless them! I'd be lying, though, if I said I wasn't sad to see those fellas, raised with the hairbrush and belt, dwindling away. There is just something bonding that we old fogies share. 

[Scorrect]

I agree with Chawsee & others:  good question!  It seems to me that spankos with childhood experiences are diminishing radically and probably that’s a good thing.  In my view, spanking is something best reserved for consenting adults 😏.  Aside:  too bad, Chawsee, you live so far away. I really like your style!!!

Judging from ads in the personals section of local rags and online, too, the number of younger folks who are into spanking is definitely increasing.  NYU, for example, goes out of its way to convince students that consensual spanking is perfectly normal.  They also encourage students to explore a wide range of other paraphilias  (diagnosable psychiatric illnesses until public pressure forces the professional association to rethink what’s abnormal— as has happened with LGBTQ).

I too, am interested in learning how younger folks get turned on to spanking when it is less and less a part of their upbringing.  For me, the desire started very early and may well have been potentiated by my trying to come to grips with the fact (probably the traumatic fact) that spankings happened frequently to neighborhood friends and as I got older, classmates. Spankings also even happened regularly when kids misbehaved at church or vacation bible school.  Ironically, I was a reasonably good kid who was spanked very infrequently. But, I still recall girlfriends of my mom’s who I thought were pretty, who frequently spanked their kids and spoke openly about it.  Even at the time, I found these discussions about rules, methods, and implements both scary and stimulating. I’m guessing very few younger spankos have ever overheard conversations like that. But, during my childhood, they were incredibly common and spanking was thought of as a necessary part of childrearing:  “spare the rod and spoil the child” was a commonly recited mantra.

For me, spanking became inexorably linked to maternal/womenly love done “for my own good,” while,”hurting the ER as much as me ”(what a crock), follow by corner time or time in the “quiet chair,” ending in being forgiven and lovingly soothed.  But, often the tender aftercare was accompanied by a reminder to be good or an even more painful spanking would be the inevitable result. Hot, hot, hot!!!!!

[DaChief]

 

I wanted to expand on my earlier comments. There was only so much I could post from my phone during my lunch hour. 

A lot of the modern perceptions and general acceptance of the notion that spanking kids creates a spanking fetish stems from the work of Murray Strauss. He was a sociologist who focused on family violence issues, which included corporal punishment. I'm sure he meant well, and I'm sure he did a lot of quality research in other areas, but he made a lot of claims about adult spankos which were inaccurate, base assumptions drawn from loosely related sources. He never once directly interviewed any of us, which he did have the ability to do it from the mid-1990's until his passing in 2016. His research assistants did descend on the UseNet community in the 1990's, and it got ugly. They weren't there to conduct research, they were there to tell us they finally understood how to fix us. They wouldn't listen to anything we tried to tell them about the inaccuracy of their arguments and assumptions, rather they choose to shout us down. Or try to. That event is also why spankos typically don't work with researchers. They'll never admit it, but they violated our trust with their actions and their arrogance a quarter of a century ago, and they still haven't given us any reason to believe they're reassessing their positions.

But enough about that, because I really am feeling some lingering resentments rise, and I want to move away from that. That story needs to be told though, because the "research" which "proves" these clinical arguments about adult spankos was flawed trope, and this crowd needs to know that because just accepting those crappy theories as fact only serves to confuse adult spankos even more, and we have enough to deal with as it is. I just wish I could tell the story without the old anger surfacing.

Back to the younger generation of spankos. They are still coming around, and what's interesting is that we are seeing a significant number of them evolved the same way the older generations of spankos did. They looked up the word in the dictionary, had the theme dominate their dreams from childhood into early teens, etc., yet this generation was largely unspanked. They didn't have these childhood traumas which have been said to cause it in the older people, yet they still followed the same evolutionary track we did, based on what I'm hearing from members of that age group. The fact that we see this in a generation of young people who were never spanked now validates the argument that there is some hardwired thing which makes some of us "born this way." This speaks to something much deeper than the social influences Strauss & Co. cited. The spanko gene lives on. 

That's not to say all of them are approaching this for the right reasons though. I still hear from a few who grew up in horrifically abusive environments and I determine they aren't looking for a "spanker;" rather they are looking for someone to perpetuate the cycles of violence and abuse which was normalized early in their lives. So, I give them alternate resources, move on and hope that they find the healing they need. By the same token, I can't spank them clean from a meth addiction or spank their depression or manic episodes away. Medical professionals need to address those issues. Of course, none of this is new, because these scenarios have always been around our communities. 

What is interesting, though is a new breed of young adults who think maybe their parents got it wrong in not spanking them, and now they want people from this crowd to help them put structure in their life. I think the real issue at play is that modern parenting trends have skewed away from giving kids the skills and coping mechanisms they need to function when they transition into adulthood, but that's a much deeper discussion which goes well beyond any spanking debate. The question about this crowd though is if they'll still be pursuing this at 30 or 40, and if so, in what capacity? This in turn would raise the question of how they might be as much of a spanko as the ones who experienced the more fully documented path, even though their path was different. That will be interesting to watch as it plays out. 

[Chawsee]

21 minutes ago, DaChief said:

I think the real issue at play is that modern parenting trends have skewed away from giving kids the skills and coping mechanisms they need to function when they transition into adulthood... 

I agree.

I won't launch into a debate on this topic, as I want to remain respectfully within SN's guidelines. And, I never had offspring of my own, so I'm in no position to tell anyone how to parent. But like a lot of folks these days, I see how kids are turning out, and it's disheartening. Not that spanking is the answer-- there are probably better approaches. But anyway, your post was informative, DaChief. And, I was not familiar with the work of Murray Strauss, so you are appreciated for sharing that. 

[danadares]

9 hours ago, SpankorBSpanked said:

I was never spanked as a kid, and I have no idea how I first became interested in spanking.  That said, I don't think it will become less prevalent at all . . . I think it will actually be the opposite.  It seems EVERYTHING is now being "allowed" and I can see spanking becoming more and more common-place.  Just my 2-cents . . .

I think you might be on to something there. I had no idea there were so many spankos in this world until I got on the Internet. So if becoming one has anything to do with being exposed to the idea, every kid with a cell phone these days and into the future is going to know about it, and can see there is a large number of people who practice it. Since it's a fact that you don't need to be spanked as a child to be a spanko, or even grow up in a spanking environment, then nothing should prevent new generations of enthusiasts.

I guess the question is whether being spanked as a child makes any kind of difference? Would I have the same spanking interests and desires today if I had not been spanked? If anyone here was not spanked growing up, would you be the same today if you had?