Tried An Impromptu Roleplay - Fail

[HubbyWishes]

I communicated my desire to be spanked many years ago. Was a hard no based on my wife not wanting to hurt me. You could see that history in my one other post.

The odd time one of us will give a few random spanks when being intimate, but that’s the only time.

Last night after we had some wine together, I decided to flip the script and I led her to the couch and said we need to talk, and told her to take her pants down and bend over.

I thought there is at least a small chance she would go along with a roleplay. I told her what she had done to deserve a spanking.

Suffice to say she did not like this. I tapped her very lightly 3 or 4 times on her bum, but she was very sarcastic saying stuff like “oh I’m supposed to say I’m sorry”. Her tone was of being disgusted essentially. 
 

I abandoned quickly and said something like “sorry, just trying to have a little fun”.

My thinking was nothing ventured nothing gained, and I thought if she had went along with it, maybe it could break the ice in this area and she might try on me sometime.

I don’t think that will ever be happening. Rest of the evening was normal as though it never happened, and same today.

Somehow I don’t regret trying. This incident might be brought up someday but likely not.

 

 

[countspankulot]

Good for you for trying. Nothing ventured; nothing gained, as the saying goes. I know I've had nights like that. After trying something similar a couple of times with my wife, she made it very clear that she did not want to be spanked. She eventually came around to having fun spanking me, but even that took years. You can read about our experiences in the "about me" section of my profile.

Best of luck to you @HubbyWishes. I know how hard this can be.

[rubyredd]

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. At least she isn't super upset. I am not sure how I would feel if my husband tried out a non-shared kink without discussing it ahead of time. We always talk before trying new things anyway - and that makes us more willing to try new things even if it diverges from what we think we will like. 

[danadares]

5 hours ago, HubbyWishes said:

I communicated my desire to be spanked many years ago. Was a hard no based on my wife not wanting to hurt me. You could see that history in my one other post.

The odd time one of us will give a few random spanks when being intimate, but that’s the only time.

Last night after we had some wine together, I decided to flip the script and I led her to the couch and said we need to talk, and told her to take her pants down and bend over.

I thought there is at least a small chance she would go along with a roleplay. I told her what she had done to deserve a spanking.

Suffice to say she did not like this. I tapped her very lightly 3 or 4 times on her bum, but she was very sarcastic saying stuff like “oh I’m supposed to say I’m sorry”. Her tone was of being disgusted essentially. 
 

I abandoned quickly and said something like “sorry, just trying to have a little fun”.

My thinking was nothing ventured nothing gained, and I thought if she had went along with it, maybe it could break the ice in this area and she might try on me sometime.

I don’t think that will ever be happening. Rest of the evening was normal as though it never happened, and same today.

Somehow I don’t regret trying. This incident might be brought up someday but likely not.

 

 

Well, it seems she went along with it rather than just saying, NO, are you out of your mind? Not sure why she would bother trying if the idea was disgusting to her. I was lucky years ago when I introduced my non-spanko gf (now wife) to spanking, and she was very happy to oblige. It's not the same as spanking a spanko, but still some good times. I wish you well, and I hope you'll find satisfaction some way, somehow.

 

[HubbyWishes]

Thanks for your replies and thoughts.

One thing I should mention is that anything that happens during intimacy is never discussed prior. My wife likes everything to be spontaneous and isn’t comfortable discussing outside the context of an intimate encounter. 

This is one of the difficulties about asking for spanking as an activity unto itself outside of usual intimacy. 

An irony of last night is that she is very aware of my fondness for her derrière, and often I will give her a few light taps and a squeeze and she will say thank you sometimes. However, the role play aspect crosses a line and it becomes too formal.

All that aside, it is me that wants to be spanked beyond usual intimacy sessions. Last night was more about testing the waters to see if she would play along, and the answer was clear.

I do understand that springing something that isn’t a shared kink is risky and somewhat unwise.

[HubbyWishes]

2 minutes ago, danadares said:

Well, it seems she went along with it rather than just saying, NO, are you out of your mind? Not sure why she would bother trying if the idea was disgusting to her. I was lucky years ago when I introduced my non-spanko gf (now wife) to spanking, and she was very happy to oblige. It's not the same as spanking a spanko, but still some good times. I wish you well, and I hope you'll find satisfaction some way, somehow.

 

That’s a good point I didn’t consider. She did appease me by taking her pants down and bending over, despite tone and disappointment.

[Bspankly]

HW your most likely spanking partner is...your partner. It sounds like in the right moment, she is a little into it. Keep trying to create those moments.

I am about to ask for my third spanking. My wife has been very indulgent but she thinks it is a bit weird. In her mind she wants to meet my needs, so I will not seek someone who will.

I have been waiting two weeks to ask for each one to give her time to get used to this new twist. Sharing it here has helped. Good luck.

[SkipNC]

Failure is merely deferred success, according to a spider with whom Robert the Bruce was acquainted. 

Have you tried directing your wife here?  I believe she does not need to create an account to merely read posts.  If she becomes more comfortable with the idea, perhaps it will encourage her to give you what you want with spontaneity.

[DisobedientHuby]

On 2/5/2023 at 4:25 PM, HubbyWishes said:

Thanks for your replies and thoughts.

One thing I should mention is that anything that happens during intimacy is never discussed prior. My wife likes everything to be spontaneous and isn’t comfortable discussing outside the context of an intimate encounter. 

This is one of the difficulties about asking for spanking as an activity unto itself outside of usual intimacy. 

An irony of last night is that she is very aware of my fondness for her derrière, and often I will give her a few light taps and a squeeze and she will say thank you sometimes. However, the role play aspect crosses a line and it becomes too formal.

All that aside, it is me that wants to be spanked beyond usual intimacy sessions. Last night was more about testing the waters to see if she would play along, and the answer was clear.

I do understand that springing something that isn’t a shared kink is risky and somewhat unwise.

Direct to the DWC website.  My wife is not a complete convert. However, one day got the courage to ask her to look at it.  She has spanked me a lot since then. My wife is not interested in me giving her a spanking in fact I got the hardest spanking ever for suggesting she needed a spanking.  She may not be an EE but could be a reluctant ER if she sees your need

[HubbyWishes]

SNC and DH - I have not directed her to DWC or here. 

I did give her the “Spanking The Male Mind” book years ago but that resulted in a “can’t do it since I can’t hurt you” answer. I thought that book was an excellent way to present the spanking need.

Struggling the last couple of years on how to resurrect the idea.