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Spanking other people while in a relationship


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I have a girlfriend and we have discussed spanking other people or vise versa. But we have not done it yet. But for some reason I almost feel guilty if I spank another women? Has anyone else came across this problem. Is it better to start spanking another person with my girlfriend together?

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It depends upon the nature of your relationship with your girlfriend. You don't want to introduce guilt or jealousy into the relationship. But if there is an understanding that the spanking won't be sexual it can work. I know plenty of people who spank others outside of their primary relationships. I have attended parties before with partners where we have both spanked others. Honest communication is key here.

The other questions is if you spank someone else, are you going to tell her about it and vice-versa? 

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This is a slippery slope. It sounds good on paper. But... doing it is another story. I'm not saying it just can't or won't work, but it's not for everyone. Some men are totally fine with their wives having male spanking partners. Some women are good with their husbands being spanked by other women. I know that I could never be ok with it myself.  At any rate, I'd proceed very carefully. 

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It can be difficult to navigate or not. Depends on a lot. 
 

In my case, when I finally came out to my wife she agreed to some discipline spankings (I think the most in a year was 3; maybe that’s the average) and is fine and into the play. 
 

But she knows my spanko gene runs deeper than that and is fine with me spanking other women as long as it’s not sex. She doesn’t want the details - I mean even knowing that what I’m going out for is a spanking.  
 

Your relationship is likely completely different. Best you can do is bring it up and hope for the best knowing that it might not be what you get. 

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As long as you two are OK with it, I don't see a problem. Relationships require honesty. Personally, I don't see spanking someone else or being spanked by someone else as cheating, unless your partner doesn't know about it or is not OK with it.

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It doesn't matter if I've come across this or not. Everything depends on what you feel, and it is your decision to make. I would prioritize the relationship I have, and not risk ruining it. Only you know your girlfriend and what relationship you want with her. I think honesty with her is the best place to start. You "almost feel guilty," so maybe do whatever makes you feel better about things, which could possibly be including her so she feels connected.

 

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Maybe this is a question of how monogamous you really are, or aren't.

Some people are comfortable with polyamory. Some aren't. I'm one of those people who just can't go there, even if it sounds sensible in theory. I need monogamy.

I'm not sure how I'd really feel about spanking other people while in a relationship (in my case, being spanked by other people, since I'm an -ee), because I've never gone there. I've only had that question come up around sex, and I know exactly where I stand on that: I'm not comfortable with non-monogamous sex. I'm definitely comfortable with the idea of having non-exclusive spanking relationships that don't include sex by the vanilla definition. I think I would also be comfortable with having a relationship that's sexually monogamous and includes spanking and also engaging in spanking only play with other people, but I won't know for sure how I feel about that unless and until I'm looking at it in reality.

Maybe for you, spanking feels like something that needs to be monogamous. That's something to look at more deeply.

Edited by Bramblewine
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Over the years I've had a few local 'ers who were all married. In each case it was made clear that their wives knew about it, and nothing sexual was going to happen.  As an 'ee, I felt quite reassured over this fact, as I didn't feel comfortable getting spanked by someone without their wives knowing,  simply because it would bother me personally on the other end.  Plus I was looking for non-sexual spankings anyways, and it seemed more likely to find them in these cases.

At one point, I actually met the wife of my very first 'er! It was rather awkward and embarrassing as heck, because while I knew she was aware of it, and at times the spankings would happen at his home, where his wife would be in the other room..... It was still awkward for her to come out and see me.  

It was a case where she was a nurse, and he wanted her to look at a wound that I had. She seemed totally unphased at my presence there, I think the embarrassment was only on my end.

So I have seen it happen where 'ers got their wives permission...  And I have a few friends who are poly who would also be just fine.

But for me personally, I feel like I'd be a bit bothered by it, if my partner wanted to spank other women.  I'd likely have too many other feelings wrapped up in it.

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5 minutes ago, cat627 said:


At one point, I actually met the wife of my very first 'er! It was rather awkward and embarrassing as heck, because while I knew she was aware of it, and at times the spankings would happen at his home, where his wife would be in the other room..... It was still awkward for her to come out and see me.  

It was a case where she was a nurse, and he wanted her to look at a wound that I had. She seemed totally unphased at my presence there, I think the embarrassment was only on my end.

 

Yes, I can see where that would be awkward. On the other hand, you can't shock a nurse - they have seen it all before.

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This is an interesting topic. I will echo what others have said as far as open communication being the most important thing. Personally, I would be fine with it as long as the communication was there and it didn’t become something that was being hidden.  And while it’s not really how I’m geared at ALL, I’d expect that if I was okay with it, that my partner would be okay with me interacting with others as well as long as the base of respectful honesty between us was there. And an understanding of things that are in or out of bounds. I do confess that (way) in the past I have wondered if there’s an innate sort of double standard that happens in spanking relationships. Where the er wishes to spank others but also expects to be the only spanker of his ees. Perhaps that’s not true. Ive honestly never really asked, as it’s not been super relevant.  I tend to be a one palm kind of girl. 

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With us...it is within our marriage commitment to one another that he only spanks my butt, and I only am spanked by him. This is not to condemn anybody who does not have such a relationship...just the way it is with us. Consequently...for us...spanking another or submitting to being spanked by another would be a matter of serious concern...for us.

I think many do "spank others" outside their spanking relationship. If so....communication is huge and clear understanding of the nature and scope of the spanking relationships is paramount for enabling such to be beneficial and positive for all parties.

To echo OTKLeigh...lol...kinda. I am a one man's belt kind of lady...lol. My butt is his 🙂🙂🙂

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