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Dealing with the shame of being bare


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I am going to be spanked soon and not by a partner but by an older disciplinarian I’d be very embarrassed to see me naked. However, the spanking will DEFINITELY be on the bare as that is the hardest part of the spanking for me and I really want to feel punished.

Any tips to cope with the embarrassment of  being naked? This is just like how people say counting helps with the pain. It’s a friend spanking me and it’s just embarrassing that they’ll see my privates AND my bare bum and I was as naked as the day I was born. 

I think everyone will just say that is the point of the punishment which is fair enough 😂 the whole thing I can’t resolve with me as a person but I do want that humiliation and punishment so idk it’s just coping with it after is all

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Once your spanking starts I think it’s fair to say that it’ll be the least of your concerns. So take your punishment. And there’s of course the old adage of you don’t have anything that no one else has seen before. 

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  I think the reality is that this will depend a lot on the interaction between you two at the time.  It is possible, as previous comments suggest, that the 'er will treat the nudity aspect very matter-of-factly and that your pain will rapidly drive the issue out of your mind.

   It is also possible that the 'er will make it a point (as I often do) to drive home the lack-of-clothing issue throughout the session, and that you will have it near the top of your mind regardless of what else may be happening.

    I think the practical conclusion, although I recognize is it easier said than done, is to try to limit the amount of mental energy you spend obsessing about an issue as to which you will in the end only have to wait and see. -Ex.

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Thank you for the replies! I will be naked, @Spanknutt and I know I’ll be put in cornertime, so I just meant my bare bum will be there on display. I suppose @AHardLessonis right, people will know what my bum looks like but the thought it being bare I struggle with. @Explorify My spanker knows how much I am embarrassed about being bare so I know will mention it lots, take photos and mention it a lot afterwards too so I will be reminded. Obviously I am happy being naked in front of a partner, but in front of clothed friend is what worries me, and I know he’ll tease me. However, thinking about it, the reason for my spanking is to humble me, as my ego is going too big, so I suppose the thing to do is NOT deal with it and be embarrassed to make a real impact!!! And also everyone is right, during the spanking I will not care as I will just want to do anything for the spanking to end. I guess the reason I was asking is I’m struggling to resolve me as a 21 year old in my normal life will be naked and punished, disciplinarily! Thanks for the advice and anymore is welcome.

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So, first thing first. Do you consent to being stripped naked and photos being taken?

If so, then, you have accepted the punishment and the circumstances.

As others have said, he adrenaline will be rushing prior to the spanking, but once it starts, that will be the only thing hat you will be concerned about. The lack of clothing will be the least of your worries.

If the punishment is firm and proper, afterwards, you still will not be concerned with the lack of clothes as you will probably be coming down from the "high" and just glad you are in the corner and it has stopped.

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I do not require my Spankee to be naked. If the lady is modest and wishes to keep her panties on, I allow her this accommodation. Panties provide little protection but offer her modesty so she can get into the right frame of mind. 

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Although it was only through directed self-spankings, I have been naked for spankings. There's a certain humbling aspect to being completely naked. Even without being completely naked, I have been embarrassed to have my spanker see my penis before my spanking, but that quickly dissipated during the actual spanking. On my first adult spanking, I was also slightly embarrassed that my privates were still on visible after the spanking, especially as I had forgotten about it while getting spanked. While my long term spanker did eventually change to keeping me covered in front for most of my spankings, I actually prefer to be bare in front, as I feel it's part of the humbling of the spanking.

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I’m a little concerned by the amount of people just giving advice while skipping over the fact that it sounds like you’re not comfortable with the conditions that have been laid out. You absolutely do not have to consent to any of this. I’m sure you know this, though. I would never consent to pictures being taken of me in a state of undress that I’m not okay with by someone other then my partner. 

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You say nudity is the hardest part of the spanking for you, and you really want to feel punished. So just do it, accept it, and the harder it is to cope with, the better it will be. Unless I'm missing something, punishment is supposed to be painful, in this case emotionally painful. Just make sure whatever boundaries you require are understood and will be respected.

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22 minutes ago, danadares said:

You say nudity is the hardest part of the spanking for you, and you really want to feel punished. So just do it, accept it, and the harder it is to cope with, the better it will be. Unless I'm missing something, punishment is supposed to be painful, in this case emotionally painful. Just make sure whatever boundaries you require are understood and will be respected.

… and if you're really unsure of what you're getting into, it may be better to go slower in this adventure. FWIW, while nudity in this context can be psychologically difficult, it shouldn't be that traumatic. Maybe think of it like going to the doctor. But it depends on what the exposure means to you.

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Thanks for your concern but I do consent to having pics taken and being naked! I know I’ll hate it but also I really want to feel embarrassed. I don’t want to feel comfortable, it’s not erotic and I just want to be punishment. However, that is me saying it now and I know it’ll be a different story when it happens.

Also, the fact it’s completely naked is to completely humble me, the purpose of this particular spanking. However, even if it was just bare bum I would still be so embarrassed! It’s not being naked I am worried about, it’s another clothed guy ordering me to be naked, and how he can never “unsee” me.

I can’t express how prideful I am, that’s why I need this spanking. I think half of me knows I really need it, but my ego is what is stopping me. I can’t resolve how I am as a 22 year old guy will be bare bottom spanked by another clothed guy but that’s the point of the punishment. Sort of like how teenagers who are spanked hate it. It is very important I receive this and I have needed too for a long time.

A few have mentioned how it will be the least of my concerns. I have read about the mind erasing effects of the spanking and how people completely forget and just want this to stop. It is going to be a really hard spanking so this will happen to me?? 

Thank you everyone I have read all the response :) I guess I need to work on acceptance that deep down behind the ego is just a little boy who needs to be spanked!! 

 

 

 

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16 hours ago, Spanknutt said:

There is a big difference between being bare bum and being naked.  Which one is it?

For man getting spanked, does it matter. A bare bum is also  bare genitalia.

 

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1 hour ago, mikeae102754 said:

For man getting spanked, does it matter. A bare bum is also  bare genitalia.

 

Yes, but the genital area need not be on show.

My mentor and I are both heterosexual males.

When he canes me, I stand behind a chair, bare my bottom and bend over.  If needed he will lift my shirt tail. My bottom is visible and accessible, so I get full  'benefit' from his cane. But nothing else is visible.

 

The cane can do its work (successfully) without the indignity of nudity. 

 

For me, that works.

 

For others, and perhaps the OP here, humiliation is an essential element to the correction.

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1 hour ago, mikeae102754 said:

For man getting spanked, does it matter. A bare bum is also  bare genitalia.

 

It doesn't have to be. Thong and jockstrap come to mind.  I have spanked women wearing a thong before for that reason.

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I just want to encourage Spankalona to report back to us on his experience.

                                                                                                                               H.

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Hi Spankalona18 -

Just to clarify…this will be your first spanking with your new ER, and is it also your First Spanking Ever?!

The following comments are based on the assumption this may be your very first spanking.  If my assumption is incorrect then ignore:

If this is your very first spanking, I agree with others that embarrassment is a key component of spanking and punishment, but for your very first spanking feeling emotionally comfortable as as a brand new EE is even more critical!  

The very first spanking impacts all your views about spanking in general and your role as an EE from then on!  Also you will already be at your most vulnerable!  The embarrassment that you are even being spanked and positioning yourself over his lap will be enough.

For a very first time spanking I would not have any pics!  You will be so heady after your spanking, taking pics that may be released all over the internet (and no matter what your ER says they probably will!) is not the best time for decision-making.  Maybe for a later session when you know him better.  

Also you said humiliation (teasing) would happen?  Humiliation can be very damaging during your very first spanking if your ER doesn’t have experience providing effective aftercare.  He will need to bring you back to feel strong and whole again!  

Your very first spanking is not the time to be or feel broken!

Again, my view is that if this is your very first spanking; the only goal should be for a sound scolding, punishment, and corner time.  Levels of embarrassment and humiliation can be varied during future sessions.  

I suggest you wear whatever you feel is comfortable for your very first spanking.

I hope your session goes really well! 

ChicagoLady

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I must have misread your post originally, for some reason I thought you'd mentioned having a partner too. As your spanker is also male, remember, it's nothing he hasn't seen. However; I too caution against allowing pictures during the first spanking. My long term spanker took a picture of my butt exactly once, with my permission, to show my something on my butt, and then she promptly deleted it. On the other hand, I like taking pictures of my spanked butt, as I reminder that after the marks are gone, yes, I did get spanked.

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Thank you to everyone who replied to this. The spanking is later this week, and I will let you all know how it goes. I am going to HATE IT but I'm very interested to see how I deal with it, so will let you all know! I trust my spanker a lot so I should be very punished but I am in safe hands

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