Spanking and intimacy

[Tazewell]

I'm new and learning.  How often are spankings just that, or how often does spanking lead to other adult activities, like making love etc.? Please share your views on this.

[DisobedientHuby]

For adults desiring to be spanked there is generally a sexual fantasy involved.  I have found the idea of spanking or being spanked to be a big turn on since overhearing or seeing spanking when I was younger.  Then it was just normal.  After a failed marriage and almost a second one.  It dawned on me the best way to stop fighting and arguing with her was to submit to a hard bare bottom spanking from her when she saw fit.  It took a couple of years for her to get completely comfortable being strict with me and spanking me when needed.  I had to keep reassuring her that I wanted and needed her to take control in our marriage. Now I am usually spanked once a week for bad behavior or just a preventive spanking to keep me in line.  I am never allowed to make love with her after. However, we usually have sex the next morning and it is amazing. I must pleasure her first and she tells me what will happen to me if I do not obey her in bed.  I have been spanked once for not coming inside her and a few times for coming before she is ready. When I obey her it is the best ever.  I think the turn on is the intimacy and emotional bond of submitting to her completely.  

 

[Tazewell]

thanks for sharing

 

[danadares]

When I first discovered years ago that other people had an attraction to spanking, I was amazed to find I was not alone, but also quickly learned that spanking enthusiasts have many different connections to it, some like mine, and many not so much like mine.

The first major thing to consider with spanking is the punishment-pleasure range of the experience. At one end of the spectrum is pure pleasure. Spanking is unambiguously sexual foreplay and leads to "making love," however that applies to the relationship. It could lead to intimate acts between sexual partners, or to masturbation soon after the spanking partners have gone their separate ways. At the other end of the spectrum is pure discipline. Here a spanking is either not a sexual motivation at all, or if it is sexual to the one being punished, all sexual pleasure must be denied. After the spanking, all sexual activity is prohibited until it is deemed that the time to remain in a state of being punished is over. Of course, in practice, there is also everything in between.

My attraction is to pure discipline and legitimate punishment at the far end of the spectrum. I am motivated by sexual impulses, however, I do not enjoy being spanked myself. Sexual denial would make punishment more effective. Spanking my wife always leads to sexual intimacy because she is not a discipline enthusiast and, even if playing at punishment, sex is the entire point.

 

[Tazewell]

interesting.  Thanks

[Longtimespanking]

It can go either direction depending upon the people involved.  I grew up being spanked both at home and at school because back in those days it was the most common form of punishment.  When I was in my first semester of college I met a girl who wanted non sexual punishment spankings for getting bad grades and as motivation for her to do better.  But it didn't take too long for me to discover that she also had other people she was going to for spankings and that not all of those spankings were for punishment.  

The important thing is that both people involved in any given spanking situation are in the same place about their thoughts and intentions.  It is very clearly possible for adults to spank or be spanked in totally non sexual interactions.  But there is absolutely nothing wrong with people wanting to be spanked, or to spank, for sexual pleasure.  As long as it's defined, and consensual, all is good. 

Over the past 55 years I've spanked many women as a disciplinarian.  The very best long term spanking arrangements are with people who are like minded and also become good friends, sharing other details about their lives.  That does not have to be either romantic or sexual unless that is the intent of the interaction. 

[Generalcounsel]

I have just joined the site and hope to contribute. I am a repressed spanko and would like to have a conversation, relationship with someone into domestic discipline. I am open to discuss whatever, but hope to find a like-minded female.

Jeff

[Chawsee]

On 1/1/2023 at 2:52 PM, Tazewell said:

I'm new and learning.  How often are spankings just that, or how often does spanking lead to other adult activities, like making love etc.? Please share your views on this.

Hi Tazewell.  

My former spouse was a vanilla guy who became a decent switch partner, so we took turns spanking each other. Because we were married, and because spanking was titillating for us, it always led to sex (and to our best sessions in the bedroom, IMHO). But when spanking outside men, it never leads to lovemaking. My boundaries on this are firm. Different strokes for different folks, though. You'll get a lot of different answers to this question.

[SpankerGeek]

Welcome,

 

The answer is simple, if both consenting adults want the spanking to lead to other things (including sexy time) than it can/will.  If one or both doesn't, then it shouldn't because consent is everything*

 

*I am ignoring CNC relationships here because the consent is given as a result of the type of relationship both parties are in.