Spanking from partner again

[verynaughtyboy8]

Hi my other half has floated the idea of spanking me again.

We've had a few issues between us and things haven't been great so she's willing to try again to help things.

She used to do it but pushed me into giving feedback and took what I said very personally so things stopped.

Is anyone else in this position or have any tips?

[countspankulot]

I've been there. Check out the "about me" section of my profile to see the many stops, starts, and turns my wife and I have been through when it comes to spanking.

Everyone comes at this differently, but here are some of what I've learned over the years:

• Feedback is only effective when it is ready to be received. Talk to your wife about this. Let her tell you when she wants feedback and the type of feedback she wants. Too much information can be a turn off. Fight the urge to "top from the bottom."
• Show your appreciation. Let her know how much it means to you that she is making an effort. Tell her that you realize this may be difficult. Then show your appreciation through actions. Let her see the connection between the spanking and your behavior. Ask what you can do for her.
• Take it slow and try to be patient. It takes time for a nonspanko to become comfortable with this. Try not to push or get frustrated (I know how hard this can be).
• Communication is the key. Above all else, talk. Focus on what works for her and what doesn't. Make adjustments that might work to fulfill both of your needs. Both of you need to benefit from this for it to work long term.

I hope some of this is helpful. Remember, this is an ongoing process. My wife and I are still working this out everyday, but we have come a long way, because we love and care about each other and try to understand each others needs.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey. I'm happy to chat with you further if you think I can help.

Tom

[verynaughtyboy8]

Thanks Tom that's really helpful.

[Spanknutt]

I think it's a good sign that she initiated the conversation. Talk to her about it and see where it goes. Communication is critical and if she pushed you into giving feedback and then got defensive about it, that may be a good topic to start with so everyone is on the same page.

[SpankorBSpanked]

As someone who introduced my wife to the idea of spanking me back in the early 90's,  and who has also had domestic discipline become an on again/off again thing over the years.  The biggest mistake you can make is topping from the bottom.  I have been guilty of that numerous times.  My intention was always simply to suggest how she could be more effective in spanking me, but she didn't see it that way.  In fact, her comment (that finally set me straight and prompted me to shelve the idea of trying to be helpful) was this: "It's never going to be the way you imagine it to be."

In short, let her spank you the way SHE wants to spank you, and just be grateful she is willing to start spanking you again.

[verynaughtyboy8]

Thank you, I've regretted that since I said anything. I will learn to keep schtum!

[Spankingmyhuby]

The new year is here in a few days and try to learn to communicate better with your wife. Men sometimes have a problem expressing or discussing their true feelings .

I recommend you take her out to her favorite restaurant and also help her with chores and run errands for her.

Also you apologize to your wife for not being a better husband and you are more than willing to accept punishment spankings in the upcoming year. I always appreciate when my husband apologizes to me.

I have 3 important rules for my husband. 

1)Listen to me at all times. 

2) Obey me at all times

3) Respect me at all times.

Also I would recommend that you ask your wife for a much needed spanking in the next few days. Since she brought the subject up. 

Happy New year keep us posted!

MS L.

 

[verynaughtyboy8]

Thank you everyone for your advice, all very helpful and noted.

[Newredbottom]

Going to chime in here, make sure you express how you want to change, and appreciate her for giving it a second chance.

Make it about her and how it can benefit her.

[underpants]

On 12/30/2022 at 5:45 PM, Spankingmyhuby said:

I have 3 important rules for my husband. 

1)Listen to me at all times. 

2) Obey me at all times

3) Respect me at all times.

Not everyone is in a 24/7 female led relationship, so I don't think every husband should necessarily obey his wife at all times. But every male should definitely listen to and respect his partner at all times Any husband or boyfriend who doesn't should have his bottom soundly spanked. (And yes, I have had my own bottom spanked for these failings on occasion.)

Best wishes for 2023!

[verynaughtyboy8]

So in an unusual moment, I ended up spanking her earlier, she took more than usual, but just a hand spanking on the bare, said she preferred it lower on her bottom.

[verynaughtyboy8]

And today as promised I GOT SPANKED.

We talked a lot before and inbetween, she used a wooden spoon and wooden hairbrush.

First on my jeans then the bare, bent over the bed, laid on it then on all fours. She said enjoyed me squirming when I was pushed to my limit.

All was great, we hugged, we talked after too.

[Pgh-mature-male]

Delighted to read your shared account, that you both have benefited from the exchanges.

My point of view and experience as a spanker, finds your postings to reinforce my thoughts:

• Communications between partners is essential 

• One must listen to learn, what their partner wants, needs, and desires from the receivers exclusive point of view

• Privacy - Dignity & Respect are key and interlocking components 

 

So cheers to you both and may others of our community find a smile or three associated with you journey 

[DisobedientHuby]

When she spanks you respect her authority to do so be careful not to demand she does it your way be vulnerable and tell her what you think you deserve without demanding it. I find myself wanting her to do it my way but if I get pushy about it she refuses. Unless she is pissed off enough to do it her way then she does not like the way it makes her feel when she is punishing me out of anger. The guilt she feels for doing so is not good and will hurt the marriage in the long run. I have made it clear to her that I want her to punish me when she is angry and should not feel guilty but it's a process that takes time.  She has gotten better about spanking me over things that really anger her but she still needs time to process and prepare. When she does eventually spank me for it the guilt I feel is still there but not hers she knows I deserved it and when the soreness is gone usually the gult goes with it

[verynaughtyboy8]

Thanks for that, very interesting indeed. She said she liked seeing me struggle so I think she has no problem hurting me, which I maybe need/deserve.

[REALTEARS]

Wow you got the spoon and the hairbrush you are a naughty boy!