Is Spanking Sexual?

[KentuckyGuy]

For me the desire to spank or be spanked has long surpassed my desire for sex.

[BansheeGal]

What Danedares said. When I say, "sexual" I don't mean "leads to intercourse". I mean, as Jillian said, "spanking occupies the place in my life that sex occupies for most people" and I think that can be on a spectrum depending on the person. If you desire spanking instead of sex, that's sexual. 

I'm not going to say that you can't be asexual and be for spanking purely as discipline. I'm not in your body to know how you feel or think. But why spanking? And why spanking in place of sex? It IS an odd punishment for an adult...

I want the discipline dynamic for myself personally and I'm not that attracted to spanking for fun or even funishment. I want it to be a real, power exchange, discipline dynamic. But that doesn't negate the fact that the thought of it turns me on. Certainly doesn't negate that for real punishment I'll have to be spanked beyond arousal before it truly becomes punishment. 

[DunBenSpanked]

I think this is one of those questions where every single reply or comment should probably contain the words "in my opinion" or "for me personally", because we each have our own reality, define "sexual" differently, etc.

"For me personally, the power dynamic of spanking has an indirect but intense connection to sex and sensuality.

 

 

[Pgh-mature-male]

Certainly the term and word meaning of intimate comes to mind.

[mayorun53]

For many I am sure spanking is sexual   I am in a very happy and long mariage. My wife gvery infrequently has to paddle my bare butt and when tha happens   i have it coming in spades.  She is a wonderful wife she is moral aqnd religious  so infrequently when i go out with the guys and drink and kind of carouse around---it is automatic  I get my bare butt paddled when i get home. Since I know i have earned it  i just bring the stick in  from the garage with me and strip off as she is right fully angered. She paddles my naked butt and it really hurts    but i have earned it in  spades-----She asks little of me  so I should not disappoint her as i have.  The only time it made me nervous is when our children were in the house and I had to wait and get it at lunch hour the next day------PS   when I am out having fun with the guys I am thinking"It won't hurt that much"   Whn my naked butt is getting it--I am thinking "what a damn fool !"       She is a great wife    I get just what I deserve   and damn it--my ass hurts!

[David5]

For real spanko's it's absolutely a fetish, and was fascinated by it at a young age. And still to this day you need this in your life. I heard it told like this. "The difference between a kink and a Fetish is like someone that would like a cup of coffee in the morning and someone needing a cup of coffee in the morning". Also they're ones that are curious and may have thought about it a few times and that's as far as it went, just a fantasy. As far as sex goes for me spanking is the sex. 

[MichiganHeadmaster]

On 12/27/2022 at 10:19 AM, Rixie said:

The site was made for people who did not view it as a fetish and benefited from a discipline lifestyle. It's not pretend. 

Well said.

[MrBottoms]

Only if you want it to be. 

[danadares]

9 hours ago, MrBottoms said:

Only if you want it to be. 

That's an interesting perspective. I did not choose to be attracted to spanking or my sexual connection to it. Are people talking about two different things here? I can choose to ignore the sexuality of spanking because I want to ignore it. I can choose a partner or situation where there is no romantic connection because I want no romantic connection. But how do I make it non-sexual because I want it to be non-sexual?

The question here was "Is Spanking Sexual?" Many of the answers here appear to be answering a different question — Must spanking be for the purpose of sex? Just because something is sexual doesn't mean it can't be used for real discipline.

[Hotspur]

Two recent threads aimed at males and females respectively considered the stimulating (and involuntary) physical response before or during a spanking. A number of male responses said that they have often experienced an erection and females admitted to feeling "wet" while they are being spanked. So there is no doubt that at least for some people spanking is sexual. There is a theory that we spankos are a throwback to the Paleolithic period and we are acting out an archaic foreplay ritual when we spank our partners. This wouldn't explain though why some people see spanking as an end in itself and that sex need not necessarily follow.

[selfsp12]

On 12/26/2022 at 3:02 PM, Child of Light said:

It can be for some people and that's okay. I still disagree that spanking is a sexual act for everyone. It might be intimate but that doesn't mean it's sexual for everyone. 

The term "spanking needs" was a term the original owner coined. It was how he defined his need to be spanked. He created this website for adults that only wanted the discipline aspect of the lifestyle and separated it from their love interests. Admittedly the front page does need to be altered quite a bit if anyone is interested in helping.

 

I'm happy to help, or at least make suggestions.

[mozartpc21]

To me, the answer to this question is very simple, and you get it by answering a simple question.  I posted that simple question on this board a while ago... and exactly nobody replied.

Do you masturbate/orgasm to the thought of spanking in any form (being spanked yourself, spanking someone yourself, watching someone be spanked, etc)?

If you do, guess what?  It's sexual.  No matter how much you tell yourself it isn't.

And if you don't... I cannot understand why you would be drawn to spanking if you don't, so closely tied to my sexuality is my spanking fetish... but if you can honestly say you do not EVER think about spanking AT ALL when orgasming, then it isn't sexual for you, I guess.

I wonder how many people actually fit that description.

Edited January 2 by mozartpc21

[Pgh-mature-male]

Responding to the topic:

Individual’s point of view, answers the question to their needs and all of the following are indeed correct:

• Yes ever so sexual

• Absolutely not, they are corrective 

• Combination of both

• Depending upon the situation could be yes could be no

[Hotspur]

To my mind after reading through the arguments put forward in this thread, spanking (even a disciplinary spanking) has sexual connotations. It follows that corporal punishment applied at school also has sexual undertones. CP has been banned in many countries for a number of years but is still legal is some parts of the world as well as in certain states in the USA. I imagine a teacher would need little encouragement to apply an instrument of correction to the firm young bottom of a wayward teenager and no doubt find it stimulating. Most first hand accounts of such an encounter however, usually describe it as painful and humiliating although I’m sure that some recipients find the experience pleasurable and become consenting adults later in life. Maybe this subject deserves a thread of its own.

Edited January 3 by Hotspur

[WilliamSpanks]

As the comments here show, I think experiences of it can vary widely and some don't experience it as sexual.

To me though, there is always an inescapable sexual element because spanking stimulates the genitals.

[F/m_Spanking_only]

Spanking is extremely sexual for me. Even just thinking about it gets me erect. I remember video chatting with a woman and she was telling me about a vanilla friend who was curious about spanking. So she told her about how she spanked men in sessions. The ins and outs of it. Before long, her vanilla friend was becoming more and more interested. She said that her friend told her that she found herself sort of daydreaming and writing "bend over my knee" on a notepad. And she said that her friend would tell her "maybe I should tan some men's backsides when they do me wrong in the future". Just hearing that gave me an erection. 

And in sessions...oh my goodness....when I'm being seriously scolded...I should be very afraid...but my male member is throbbing already 

[DisobedientHuby]

I agree there is no getting around it there is definitely a sexual component she gets me hard by telling me about the spanking I am going to get if I do not pleasure her before and during sex. However when I am being punished over her knee the last thing on my mind is sex. The pain is intense and I am thinking about better behavior for a period of time but then when it's over I want sex but know she will make ne wait till she is in the mood 

[Chawsee]

I have always believed that spanking is inherently sexual. And as a woman who is strict about sessions remaining platonic and free of any sexual overtones, I still hold to this. There are folks who insist that spanking, for them, is not sexual at all. Bless them! For the rest of us, the sexual aspect is there, even if it's a quiet undercurrent.

This intensely intimate exchange takes place on the largest erogenous zone of the human body. To test the "sexual" theory, begin administering your spankings on a non-erogenous part of the body, like the palms of the hands, back of the calves, or bottom of the feet. Then see if there's the same desire for this kind of (truly non-sexual) impact play.

During an intense session, most spankees aren't feeling anything sexual at all. But if they're honest with themselves, they do feel all "tingly" when anticipating an upcoming spanking, and when reflecting on one afterwards. 

[SpankerGeek]

As a spanko for me, yes it's sexual.  Spanking is my number one kink/fantasy.  It is the most frequent "adult video" that I watch.  

 

That above being said I think it's important to point out that spanking doesn't have to lead to sex, and it can be done in a completely non-sexual manner to a female mentee and still be something that turns me on when I think about it. 

 

Spanking doesn't replace sex for me, but I find that spanking enhances sex.  Anal for example is better when the bottom is red and sore.  

 

I truly define spanking as sexual and as a fetish for the simple fact that I have to have it in my life.  I can't deny who I am or that I enjoy spanking women. 

 

 

 

[littledemon]

Just now, Child of Light said:

I also wouldn't think it's weird for non asexual people to find spanking just fun and intimate and not sexual. 

I completely agree! As long as everyone is consenting and happy with it, spanking could be whatever anyone wants and/or need it to be.

[danadares]

4 hours ago, littledemon said:

I am an asexual who is repulsed by sex and genitals, I wouldn't say anything is better than sex, but this is semantics...

This question, "Is spanking sexual", is complicated to me when I do physically get aroused by spanking, but mentally have zero desire/urge to do anything about that bodily reaction, and actual sexual acts will shut that arousal down pretty quickly. Is it sexual if my body reacts and my brain says no?

Now I don't do disciplinary spankings, so I choose to be spanked for the same reason I choose to go watch a movie or play a board game with friends, for fun and intimacy.

Apparently, it matters to people if we call it sexual or not. But whatever we want we want. Whatever we feel we feel. If it feels like sexual arousal, I'm calling it sexual arousal. If it feels like some other kind of arousal, then no reason to call it sexual. Some enjoy sexual arousal, but can't or don't want to engage in sexual activity, so what should everyone call that? I'm not sure it matters what we call it, but sexual motivation seems to be in the mix somewhere.

I think the question many have about consensual spanking is whether there's sexual motivation behind the desire. In my experience, with people I've followed online, it's not unusual to see a person claiming that spanking is not sexual to them, and yet at some point it looks to me like it is clearly sexual to them. So that leads to some general suspicion. However, that's no good reason to say it must therefore always be sexual unless proven otherwise.

[rude_rumps]

Spanking is very complicated for me...I've felt many of the things people talked about on this thread at different times... sometimes spanking is the most adult, erotic thing in the world for me...just thinking about it I've had orgasms...other times it's very intimate and caring but not really arousing...especially when I feel more childlike...or it can just be a light hearted, friendly game...or an embarrassing, painful punishment I feel like I need...or even a very transcendent, spiritual experience... it can be confusing because there are all these aspects for me...but I feel blessed to have experienced all these emotions around it...and that's why spanking is so special to me :)

[Needing correction!]

22 hours ago, Child of Light said:

 I overthink and sometimes feel awfully embarrassed about something I did at age 5 years old and felt awkward at the time about it (e.g feeling social awkward not related to discipline) and a flash of embarrassment comes to me...It's not a pleasant feeling at all. 

I totally recognize this feeling and honestly wish I'd been spanked more as a child.

 

But I've been caned a couple of times as an adult for retrospective childhood offences, for which I wish I'd had the wooden spoon or cane at the time. 

 

It has brought a certain amount of peace: not total, but a great improvement.

 

[Bspankly]

Yep it's been great foreplay for us.

[OhRedhead]

I cannot separate the two that easily since I fantasize about spanking, but that does not mean spanking has to be sexual or lead to intercourse.