Question for Female spankees

[Justin Jones]

My girlfriend has been stressed about moving in.  It wasn't so much the moving in part but packing up her stuff and moving out of her house while working a full-time job.   She's been having a bad attitude and asked that I not spank her for it as she has a lot on her plate.    

 

Fast forward to yesterday morning. (She's been out of her house since Dec 1 ) she wanted to go to the grocery store and grab some basic essentials which would take minutes on a Sunday morning.   

Shes a attractive woman and I'm sure she gets hit on often but I don't really care to hear about it.   

I get a text how some guy told her how pretty she was. I don't respond as I haven't and will not in the future.  After 10 minutes I get a text stating " you're a dickhead " as I didn't respond. She knows that's a automatic spanking especially with the free pass she's gotten for over a week.   

Do you think she did it intentionally to get a spanking ? When I told her she was getting a spanking she didn't even try to debate it.   

Have you ever misbehaved intentionally to get a spanking ? 

 

[rubyredd]

Of course I have. It is bratting with the intent of getting spanked. She might be super stressed and unsure how to ask for a stress-relief spanking (rather than punishment). Sounds like your first step shouldbe talking to her. Moving in together is a big step and life is stressful for everyone. Take spanking out of the equation - how would you work through this as a couple? 

[Newredbottom]

2 minutes ago, rubyredd said:

Of course I have. It is bratting with the intent of getting spanked. She might be super stressed and unsure how to ask for an stress-relief spanking (rather than punishment). Sounds like your first step shouldbe talking to her. Moving in together is a big step and life is stressful for everyone. Take spanking out of the equation - how would you work through this as a couple? 

While not a female EE, that doesn’t mean I can not recognize a very well stated response.

[Cassie RN]

7 hours ago, Justin Jones said:

My girlfriend has been stressed about moving in.  It wasn't so much the moving in part but packing up her stuff and moving out of her house while working a full-time job.   She's been having a bad attitude and asked that I not spank her for it as she has a lot on her plate.    

 

Fast forward to yesterday morning. (She's been out of her house since Dec 1 ) she wanted to go to the grocery store and grab some basic essentials which would take minutes on a Sunday morning.   

Shes a attractive woman and I'm sure she gets hit on often but I don't really care to hear about it.   

I get a text how some guy told her how pretty she was. I don't respond as I haven't and will not in the future.  After 10 minutes I get a text stating " you're a dickhead " as I didn't respond. She knows that's a automatic spanking especially with the free pass she's gotten for over a week.   

Do you think she did it intentionally to get a spanking ? When I told her she was getting a spanking she didn't even try to debate it.   

Have you ever misbehaved intentionally to get a spanking ? 

 

Why are you looking at her personal messages?

 

[LeighOTK]

I would wager that most ees have said something bratty to try to get a spanking if they are in a place of craving or needing it. I personally wouldn’t let that cross a line of basic respect. And definitely not name calling. 

That said? Why would her being complimented by another man bother you so much to begin with?  I’d think it would be just as much of a compliment to you that you are the person a beautiful woman has chosen to spend her time with.  It could be an opportunity to say something fun or flirty or sexy instead of it becoming something awkward and uncomfortable. And she is open and honest enough to tell you about it, at least for now. 

Edited December 6, 2022 by LeighOTK

[Justin Jones]

5 hours ago, Cassie RN said:

Why are you looking at her personal messages?

 

Well because she sent it to me.   

Its called a text message ..  

Edited December 6, 2022 by Justin Jones

[Justin Jones]

8 hours ago, Newredbottom said:

While not a female EE, that doesn’t mean I can not recognize a very well stated response.

Wanted a female EE opinion ? 

If I wanted a dude I'd probably ask one of my buddies. . 

[Justin Jones]

8 hours ago, rubyredd said:

Of course I have. It is bratting with the intent of getting spanked. She might be super stressed and unsure how to ask for a stress-relief spanking (rather than punishment). Sounds like your first step shouldbe talking to her. Moving in together is a big step and life is stressful for everyone. Take spanking out of the equation - how would you work through this as a couple? 

Bratty.   You have a name for it ? Lol.  

[rubyredd]

2 hours ago, Justin Jones said:

Bratty.   You have a name for it ? Lol.  

Definitely. Bratting is a long-established method for encouraging a spanking - especially a funishment (the focus is on fun). It is often more fulfilling to brat for a spanking than to ask outright. Not everyone is comfortable saying, "I need to be spanked."

7 hours ago, LeighOTK said:

That said? Why would her being complimented by another man bother you so much to begin with?  I’d think it would be just as much of a compliment to you that you are the person a beautiful woman has chosen to spend her time with.  It could be an opportunity to say something fun or flirty or sexy instead of it becoming something awkward and uncomfortable. And she is open and honest enough to tell you about it, at least for now. 

I agree with all of this. If she was stressed or feeling low, and hearing a compliment cheered her up, then her partner ignores her... Well, her descriptor wasn't far off the mark. Why not just say that you agree with his assessment and she is beautiful - inside and out? Why make her feel bad? Or use that as an opportunity to tell her how glad you are she moved in. Feed her self-esteem rather than looking for ways to punish her. Purposely ignoring your partner is a type of manipulation that damages the relationship. So is using spanking as a crutch to avoid real communication. 

[brittygirl]

Totally agree with Ruby and Leigh. Toxic masculinity isn’t very attractive and especially at high stress times. This sounds like an equation spanking needs to be taken out of and real conversing needs to begin in. 

[Justin Jones]

Well I tell her she's beautiful every morning and she is.   There's nothing that makes me feel more accomplished than a women walking around the house in one of my t-shirts and her panties.    

For me personally I don't need a play by play via text everytime someone tries to pick her up.   The first couple times I told her " of course it's because your hot " after 18 months I'm like I don't need to know.    

Thanks ladies, maybe I do need to be more thoughtful , I'll fix that for us.    

[Newredbottom]

On 12/6/2022 at 2:43 AM, Justin Jones said:

Wanted a female EE opinion ? 

If I wanted a dude I'd probably ask one of my buddies. . 

Sorry for having taken up so much of your infinitely valuable time.  Not sure if your familiar with the option of not reading a post that does not interest you, but it is a thing.

[cat627]

I have been a brat hoping to receive a punishment, but not to *that* extent...  There have been times I have felt completely overwhelmed and stressed, and felt like I *needed* a spanking, but have either been too afraid to ask for one, or I felt insecure and would question whether or not my 'er "cared" enough to spank me...  In those moments I would *mildly* brat...  I never would want to make either an 'er, or a partner *actually* angry...  The thought of actually offending or them being truly angry, tends to absolutely crush me... I can playful brat, but never to intentionally provoke serious anger.

Respect is important to me, and outright name-calling like that, is *never* okay in my book... It's kind of a really big deal for me, and it doesn't take a spanking to keep me from doing it.  Respect is never a line I want to intentionally cross, even if I'm being a brat.

Typically if I'm bratting it's usually a build up of "little" things... Not wanting to do actually do wrong, but hoping for a small little something that might tip the scale without causing too much damage...  The little things might build, and if it's still ignored, I might be prone to self-sabotage or just get all emotional and cry.  But yeah, not name-calling.

Stuff like that in my personal opinion probably needs a serious discussion, to either get to the underlying issue or  agree on a better way to communicate needs and feelings, besides name-calling ... This is just my humble opinion

[Yoda2021]

Agree with rubyredd on this one sounds like she doesn’t know how to ask for stress relief bratted out with the intent to get spanked (punishment) I know I brat out a time or two with the intent to get spanked even if it’s punishment my ER’s are working with me on that I would approach her in a nice way and express she can ask without guilt a stress relief spanking but at the same time realize it’s a big step and spanking probably isn’t the solution right now 

Edited January 14 by Yoda2021

[nicoleS39]

I think I probably unconsciously "brat" sometimes. My husband will sometimes ask me, "what has gotten into you?"...and we will talk. I appreciate that, and sometimes the outcome is a spanking, sometimes not...but either way...things are better. Sure, there are also times when "stress" of just living becomes seemingly overwhelming. I am not too proud to literally approach my husband...sometimes kneeling before him...and just flat out "ask" him to spank me. Again...we talk...and most times he "does" spank me, because he loves me...but not necessarily in the exact way I might want or to the intensity I feel I want. I have learned to trust his assessment of what I really need. I guess to some extent all of us spankees might "brat" some...but I think I do not do it as much as I once did. Over time, I think we draw closer to one another in long term relationships, and there is an increased comfortableness in respectfully asking for help...as in being spanked. That still works within our disciplinary dynamic...I believe. It is really just an indication I have become more self responsible in dealing with my shortcomings...or so my husband says...lol.

I think "spankers" also have stress...and to me that is an interesting off shoot of this discussion. Can a spanker responsibly deal with their own stress as it relates to spanking their spankee....hmmm?

 

 

 

[ChicagoLady]

Every spanking relationship is different.  
  
To answer your question: I think she probably did do it to get a spanking and unfortunately sometimes spankee’s do that instead of using open communication when they are overly stressed or emotional.
 
But in my last spanking relationship, my spanker boyfriend would have given me a punishment spanking for that behavior.  He would have said “Enough is enough, expect to be over my knee when you get home.”

1.  I did not make the final spanking decisions in our relationship, he did.  If I thought that I was so stressed that I would earn a spanking I didn’t feel I deserved, then that was the time I should sit down with him and ask for his help or understanding.  There was no disrespectful attitude just because I was stressed - unless I wanted an attitude adjustment with the palm of his hand.  

2. Bratting for a spanking was seen as disrespectful, manipulative, and broke our rule of open communication.  If I needed a stress relief spanking, I was expected to ask for one, not act like a brat expecting him to read my mind when I really needed one.

3. Trying to create jealousy was also seen as disrespectful, manipulative, and not tolerated.  
  
So once I got home, I would have been punished - over his knee spanked with the hairbrush and then paddled.  

Just my previous experience, I respect different opinions.

[nicoleS39]

11 minutes ago, ChicagoLady said:

1.  I did not make the final spanking decisions in our relationship, he did.  If I thought that I was so stressed that I would earn a spanking I didn’t feel I deserved, then that was the time I should sit down with him and ask for his help or understanding.  There was no disrespectful attitude just because I was stressed - unless I wanted an attitude adjustment with the palm of his hand.  

2. Bratting for a spanking was seen as disrespectful, manipulative, and broke our rule of open communication.  If I needed a stress relief spanking, I was expected to ask for one, not act like a brat expecting him to read my mind when I really needed one.

Well said..."what you said here" is also where my husband and I are. That being said, I certainly do not look down on those who "brat"....in fact...my husband has called me out in that a few times our marriage. If I am "stressed" or needy, I have learned to respectfully ask for a conversation. He never likes to spank me for discipline without cause...but...for stress relief....he often grants my wish, but the spanking takes on a more sexual tone, rather than disciplinary. But, as you said...he does...at least with us, have the final say on my spankings.