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Methods to control spankees rubbing their bottom during a a spanking


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For me, reaching back is a completely involuntary reflex. I tend to panic and go into fight-or-flight mode. I would expect the ER to understand that and take action to protect my hand.  Hold it behind my back. Punishing me for an involuntary reflex would cause me to lose all trust in the ER. Plus, I don’t want to risk my hands getting injured and the backs of my legs can bruise quickly and severely. I expect to be treated with understanding and for my physical safety to be upheld, just as I would do for an EE.

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9 hours ago, danadares said:

Bondage is quite unnerving to me. Too unpredictable. I would not engage in anything where I or my partner could not "escape" with just a little effort.

It is certainly not for everyone, because allowing oneself to be put into that extremely vulnerable situation takes a lot of confidence and trust in the person we would be allowing to restrain us.  Much of the intensity of such play comes from the unknown, since we rarely know exactly what will be done to us.

The use of restraints, and BDSM play in general, must always be discussed at length prior to starting any given session during which it will be used, and full consent of the one being restrained must be obtained, including how much they are allowing themselves to be hurt.  When everyone involved is on the same page and it is agreed to and consent is given, then all is good.  But you definitely need to take the extra steps to assure a safe escape if anything should go wrong, and also use a safe word just in case the action needs to be immediately stopped for whatever reason. 

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It's the ERs job to control the spanking. No fair blaming the ee for doing something that is completely reflexive. In fact, I would think it is a sign of an effective spanking.  If I don't feel the need to protect my behind at sone point during a spanking then someone is not doing something right. Just sayin🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

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9 hours ago, Longtimespanking said:

It is certainly not for everyone, because allowing oneself to be put into that extremely vulnerable situation takes a lot of confidence and trust in the person we would be allowing to restrain us.  Much of the intensity of such play comes from the unknown, since we rarely know exactly what will be done to us.

The use of restraints, and BDSM play in general, must always be discussed at length prior to starting any given session during which it will be used, and full consent of the one being restrained must be obtained, including how much they are allowing themselves to be hurt.  When everyone involved is on the same page and it is agreed to and consent is given, then all is good.  But you definitely need to take the extra steps to assure a safe escape if anything should go wrong, and also use a safe word just in case the action needs to be immediately stopped for whatever reason. 

I would have confidence in my partner. It's more about something happening beyond her control. But then, I've never engaged in BDSM play outside a solid conventional relationship. Some of the safety precautions taken by people into the "scene" are beyond what we've needed. I've never had to face inescapable bondage in my life, and I'm happy to keep it that way. :)

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I have been made to take up a position across a spanking bench with my hands and feet secured. Not only was I prevented from reaching back, but also from keeping my legs together for the sake of modesty. My knees were secured quite far apart so my dangling private parts were on display for all to see. The giggling from female onlookers as I was strapped into position added to my embarrassment and I’m sure that my face was as red as my backside. For those that are interested, a photo illustrating the position as described can be viewed on my Fetlife profile – comments welcome.

  

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On 11/20/2022 at 6:03 PM, michgal.k said:

It's the ERs job to control the spanking. No fair blaming the ee for doing something that is completely reflexive. In fact, I would think it is a sign of an effective spanking.  If I don't feel the need to protect my behind at sone point during a spanking then someone is not doing something right. Just sayin🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Totally agree with michgal. Especially the last sentence. My bottom can hurt so bad during a spanking that I can't help but resist by hopping all around and putting my hand back to cover my bottom. Most ERS cannot handle this. So the result unfortunately is that whenever I'm getting a spanking that really hurts I can get out of it. I know that's horrible for me learning my lesson. I hate it deep down inside. When I do get spanked by a strong and experienced ER my poor bottom really pays the price. It hurts unbelievably. But I definitely learn my lesson.  Being totally defenseless can be really good for you. 

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As a spankee I actually really appreciate when my spanker doesn’t let me cover my bottom or interfere with my punishment. It might be a reflex, but so are a lot of my bad behaviors. Learning to control them feels really important to me and when the spanker doesn’t have expectations for me regarding them I feel like I am in some small way I’m control of my punishment. I will always try to put my hand back to see the reaction. When I have to keep my hands forward or stay in position or face further punishment it says even more clearly who is in charge and that when I misbehave, I will be punished and there is nothing I can do to change that. For me it feels really important for my spanker to take control even over what I want to do as a reflex so that I really do have to fully submit to them and their authority. 

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