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spanking intimacy


spike

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There's an old saying in Spanish: "The devil knows more because he's old than because he's the devil". Not to compare myself to a devil (after all, I'm polite, eat all my vegetables, take care of all obligations), but rather because of all the years I've been on earth, rather than all of the years I've been a spanko.

Sexuality and spanking have always been intertwined in my mind. Whether the bottom engaged with me for the sexual aspect as well, for stress relief, being in a position of authority while craving the feeling of relinquiishing responsibility, I was glad to fill their role. It mattered not; it was always sexual to me. But there has always been another element, quite powerful, going on that I did not realize until recently. It was an intimacy; an effefible feeling I can only describe as a deep intimacy, different from any other, than only came from spanking.

And I'm not just talking about the seven years I spent with Angelfood, the love of my life spanko girlfriend (who left me, and died of cancer). Even and especially with those random women, each of whom I met in the old AOL chat rooms as a young spanko. Each of them, after a hastily arranged and impromptu meeting (I guess you could call it a spanko hook-up), where only first names (real or invented) were exchanged, a spanking took place (usually bare bottom). Then, we never met again.

Yes, those encounters were terribly exciting. But looking back now, I understand. It wasn't just the sexual excitement; it was this connection, this deep intimacy, occurring at a level below the conscious surface. It was this, along with the sexual element (although it was only spanking, no sex) that was absolutely sublime.

Fast forward a few years (well, more than a few). It's been about a year that I'm finally revealing more about myself here on SN because I've reached the point, thankfully, that I don't care  who knows my favorite activity. And I no longer care to travel along distances for spanking, subsequently the opportunities are less frequent. But that's all well and good. As they (still) happen, I still  enjoy every single one, just understand the dynamic better.

Too much rambling, better stop here. 

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This is so true. For me, that deep intimacy can't really be replaced by anything (including fun, excitement or sex). To allow someone you trust and connect with deeply to take you to a different plane almost, while you are learning all kinds of hidden things about yourself in the process.

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Wonderfully stated and thoughtfully shared. For me, spanking is absolutely sexual (and my sexuality), but it is so much more than that - it is intimacy, caring, accountability, and camaraderie. Mutual trust, friendship - however fleeting - and the joy of shared experiences.

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I can't imagine spanking someone without a feeling of great affection for them and closeness to them. It could be mixed with an expression of romantic love, but this is a separate and different feeling that is inherent in the act of spanking, unlike anything else.

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Yes...intimacy is the most important thing about all this. Real discipline of me between us is "needed", and the sexual arousal it fosters in both of us is truly enjoyed....but the special intimacy of "baring" not just our bodies, but our souls to one another, and the unique closeness of sharing this experience in trust and love and strength and dominance/submission with one another...is....unexplainable but so very real and treasured.

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8 hours ago, danadares said:

I can't imagine spanking someone without a feeling of great affection for them and closeness to them. It could be mixed with an expression of romantic love, but this is a separate and different feeling that is inherent in the act of spanking, unlike anything else.

With me it is an expression of romantic love. When I am across my partner's knee, I feel a strong sense of intimacy. And when we are in company and she swats me on the seat of my pants as a punishment for some minor offense or simply because she feels like doing it, I am always glad that it is HER hand that is smacking my bottom.

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19 hours ago, OhRedhead said:

This is so true. For me, that deep intimacy can't really be replaced by anything (including fun, excitement or sex). To allow someone you trust and connect with deeply to take you to a different plane almost, while you are learning all kinds of hidden things about yourself in the process.

I couldn't say it better myself! I am in full agreement with how you stated it. It is the same for me!

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And speaking of sexuality and spanking intertwined: I remember at age 5, 6, or 7, having the most rudimentary knowledge of how babies were made. A thin grasp of the fact that somehow, male and female genitalia were anatomically juxtaposed...but the thought of this was just revolting. But I figured that even though adults felt the same, it must be done for the sake of continuing the spices. Spanking on the other hand, was absolutely exciting and intimate, although I didn't understand these feelings. I just kept them to myself and dreamed of the day when I could participate. (Of course by age 12 or 13 the thought of intercourse was far from revolting, but still took a backseat to spanking). 

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It is extremely difficult to find words that do justice to the unique nature of a relationship that permits both parties to enjoy each other's bodies and minds in such wonderful intimacy.

I don't think I could ever separate out the sexual aspects of spanking from the emotional ones any more than I could split my DNA up. It's what it is. Enjoy to the full if you are lucky enough to be in a position to do so.

Lovely to read so much intelligent and meaningful writing that truly strikes a harmonious chord.

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  • 1 month later...
On 11/2/2022 at 4:32 PM, OhRedhead said:

This is so true. For me, that deep intimacy can't really be replaced by anything (including fun, excitement or sex). To allow someone you trust and connect with deeply to take you to a different plane almost, while you are learning all kinds of hidden things about yourself in the process.

I can't agree more for me I have to be over her knee getting paddled hard for not obeying her or taking an attitude with her.  When she is done. I feel so much closer to her. I want to hold her and protect her the way she does me. I am learning how selfish I can be and how to put her needs in front of mine.  I now do almost all the domestic chores but in return she takes the responsibility of making almost all decisions and I could not be happier 

 

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On 1/3/2023 at 6:52 PM, DisobedientHuby said:

I can't agree more for me I have to be over her knee getting paddled hard for not obeying her or taking an attitude with her.  When she is done. I feel so much closer to her. I want to hold her and protect her the way she does me. I am learning how selfish I can be and how to put her needs in front of mine.  I now do almost all the domestic chores but in return she takes the responsibility of making almost all decisions and I could not be happier 

 

Yes a over the knee spanking is a very intimate position. It's actually a act of love on your wife part to discipline you in this manner.

Most of my spankings I give my husband are over my knee. A hand spanking makes the punishment I give him that more intimate before I switch to a paddle.

It's also good that you do chores for your wife. In our marriage I don't ask my husband to do chores it's expected of him cleaning , errands ect on Saturdays. A husband doing most or all of chores is quite common in a wife controlled marriage like ours. 

It's also good that you have asked her to make most major decisions in your marriage it's the same in our marriage. 

Very good Post.

MS L.

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I got spanked tonight for being dis-respectful saying whatever to her always gets me put in the corner but because I kept pushing it she decided 30 mins in the corner and then a trip OTK with her Jakori paddle followed by another half hour in the corner was in order. She can make that paddle sting so bad that I am doing everything I can to make it stop but when it's over I wish she had not stopped. I stand in the corner wishing I was still over her knee even though my bottom is still burning because when she was done she held me and told me how much she loved me. We use to argue and fight all the time not anymore. She can settle it otk

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On 1/6/2023 at 4:12 AM, DisobedientHuby said:

I got spanked tonight for being dis-respectful saying whatever to her always gets me put in the corner but because I kept pushing it she decided 30 mins in the corner and then a trip OTK with her Jakori paddle followed by another half hour in the corner was in order.

Very sensible of your wife! I think the world would be a happier place if more women treated their husband or boyfriend like this.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have another delayed but follow thru spanking coming tonight and somehow today I made it much worse by being an insensitive husband. I am very nervous about how much this will hurt but the reality is that I can't wait for it to be over so that we can get this behind us and she will correct me and forgive me.  It's when that really happens that I am more in love with her than ever before. 

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It hurt!!!! 

She told me I would be getting a spanking after watching one TV show together on a commercial I went to the bedroom stripped and put on just my robe when the show was over she sent me to the bedroom to fetch the paddle. I set it on the ottoman and waited for her to move to the sofa. When she was seated on the sofa she called me over. I was moving a little slow reluctant to get over her knee. She asked if I wanted a harder spanking and grabbed me by the wrist guiding me over knee and putting her paddle on my bottom she slowly raised her arm and forcefully brought down the paddle the sting was like someone taking a blow torch to my butt.  I was only able to take four more before my hand shot back to protect my bottom she stopped for a moment and told me if I did not move it things would only get worse after another volley of swats I was really struggling and got out of position. She asked if I had learned my lesson when I didn't answer I was back over her knee for more and now she wrapped her left arm around me holding my arm down and keeping me in place I was definitely tearing up it stung so bad when she stopped i I got on the floor and put my head in her lap she comforted me and held me.  I asked if we could be done I told her I was not sure we should be. Then she told she had something to do and sent me to the corner for 45  minutes. I was then sent to bed.  It's not really about how sore I am but how sorry I am for what I did. Yes it will be hurt when I shower for a few days but it hopefully will help me keep my mouth shut

 

 

 

 

 

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The best part of being spanked by her is that when's it's over she assures me that she loves me and will always be there for me.  I am hers and hopelessly in love with her. I am the happiest after she spanks me because I need discipline and love which she provides 

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On 1/17/2023 at 2:35 PM, DisobedientHuby said:

The best part of being spanked by her is that when's it's over she assures me that she loves me and will always be there for me.  I am hers and hopelessly in love with her. I am the happiest after she spanks me because I need discipline and love which she provides 

A very nice post! Spanking can definitely be an expression of love. I hope your wife continues to spank you soundly whenever you misbehave.

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It's really intimate and requires so much trust. It creates this sort of space space I think, which makes it a lot harder to let go of that kind of friendship/relationship/etc.

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