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One advantage of being a man who is a switch, might be, appears to be, the capacity to go professional.  As I approach being middle aged, I’m still an adult spanking virgin.  I think it would be almost fair to call me a frustrated spanking chump.  My needs are emotional as an EE, and just community service as an ER.  Hetero all the way.  As previously posted by myself, I’m open to but do not expect to meet any partners online.  I know I have a lot to offer, but it’s not worth peacocking my personal situation online in order to interest women.  Why?  Because my job would kill me with guilt and shame if they found out.  Even though I suspect that half of them are all manner of freakaholics themselves.  It’s a hypocritical and political war zone to work where I work.

Going pro is something straight men can do so long as their need is to be the EE.  It’s not illegal to pay for a spanking in America. Granted, my needs as an EE are emotional, and I don’t expect to get the emotional needs addressed and understood by a stranger-professional for a half hour.  Butt, pun intended, might it possibly be better than nothing?  At least I’d have experience of some sort.  It’s not like I have an addictive personality, where I’d bankrupt myself by paying for pros until I’m beyond broke.  The professional would already be prepared with ways of handling stranger-danger with myself.  I wouldn’t feel compelled to hit her over the head about the fact that I am safe.

One session could hypothetically be worth years of reflection for me.  And yet, this far, I have never been motivated enough to make the next move and contact a professional.  This despite my prolonged frustrations.

What does the SN gang think?

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My .$02 is to go for it.  There are some professionals with deservedly excellent reputations in the community.  As you say, you may not get all you are seeking. But you may be pleasantly surprised at how much you do get.  A quality person, particularly at the beginning, will spend a lot of time and effort in discussing and understanding your needs. Then she will make best efforts to meet them.  Bottom line: choose your person with care, and then invest the needed additional dollars to insure ample time to be on the same wavelength before anything physical happens. -Ex.

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I have no personal experience with a professional but, over the years, I've followed several online. Most would not be my cup-o-tea, but some are impressive. I think the key would be to, first, find someone who best matches your needs, and then start a pro relationship with her. These real people are often emotionally invested in what they do, and I've heard of close connections developing over time. Like any personal relationship, it was the time invested in it that led to something more meaningful.

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Thank you to the first responders.  Due to my consciousness and temperament, I cannot imagine investing heavily in a professional relationship.  When I wear my EE hat, I am in it for the emotional release.  The very fact that I would be paying for it, at least moderately contraindicates my primary interest.  The more often I visit a professional, the more this would bother me.  Even man-EEs have something to offer  woman-ERs emotionally and spiritually, but a pro-woman-ER does not by definition value any of that nearly so much as she does money.  It would hurt for me to not be able to reciprocate the way I prefer to, but those are the breaks in the professional dynamic.  For me to visit often and act like there’s a meaningful emotional dynamic going on, in the context of money, would be self-delusion; denial.  Even if she developed a non-financial appreciation of myself, still, the root of it would still be money.

So again, why go professional, besides apparent convenience and discretion?  I think, for a so-called virgin man-EE, I might benefit from simply finding out how it feels physically.  I might learn, physically, how to manage being spanked.  This would hopefully help me in the future if I ever find a regular woman to be my ER.  This would also, hopefully, provide reference for when I wear my ER hat, to provide community service for needy women.

I would also add, I would not expect a professional woman to get my emotional needs in the EE role.  I would sooner concisely tell her the deal, and then roll the dice and hope for the best.

Having clarified my position thusly, does the SN gang still think I might benefit from going pro?

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If your needs as a spankee are more toward the emotional connection end of the spectrum, then no. If you just wanted the physical sensations of a hard spanking, then a pro might be fine for that level of exploration. For me, personally, the money exchange would absolutely kill the mood and detract from the experience. 

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1 hour ago, rubyredd said:

If your needs as a spankee are more toward the emotional connection end of the spectrum, then no. If you just wanted the physical sensations of a hard spanking, then a pro might be fine for that level of exploration. For me, personally, the money exchange would absolutely kill the mood and detract from the experience. 

My needs as an EE are twofold right now.  The primary one is emotional factors.  The secondary one is a curiosity about the physical sensations.  How I imagine it, I would only need to see a pro once or twice  in order to solve the secondary need.  There would be a risk that my visit to the professional might take away from a certain specialness that might otherwise been between myself and a regular woman who would otherwise have been my first ER.

Now that begs a new question.  Would my hypothetical future regular ER especially value being my first ER?  Even if so, I doubt she could blame me at my age for doing something professional once or twice just to satisfy my physical curiously.

Most importantly, I feel that the money exchange would kill the experience for me after my physical curiosity has been satisfied.  Even during the hypothetical professional session to satisfy my physical curiosity, I would feel mostly or completely on my own, when what I really need is woman as an emotionally invested witness. Butt, pun intended, maybe having the professional experience could somehow ripen me for the real deal, taking some of the edge off regarding not knowing what to physically expect.

Any further thoughts people?

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As clarified by your most recent post the idea makes sense.

A professional could of course teach you how the 'ee role feels, which is indeed important information for a potential relationship.

As to the hypothetical negative impact on some future relationship with a personal partner, this seems of much less weight.  One reason is the one you give. Another is that it may never come up.  In many decades of a close marriage, my wife has never thought to ask whether I ever visited a pro.

                                                                                                    H.

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I have employed probably half a dozen different professionals for spanking services, and if you find the right one I think you can also meet some of your emotional needs. The fact is, most who do this professionally are spankos, so they understand the emotional side, and that's partly what they cater to. The notion they are some robot dishing out pain for $x an hour would be insulting to (most of!) them. Do your research, and you'll find a good pro who will give you the physical sensation you crave, but also to some degree tap into the emotions that go along with being spanked.  

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11 hours ago, Handily said:

As clarified by your most recent post the idea makes sense.

A professional could of course teach you how the 'ee role feels, which is indeed important information for a potential relationship.

As to the hypothetical negative impact on some future relationship with a personal partner, this seems of much less weight.  One reason is the one you give. Another is that it may never come up.  In many decades of a close marriage, my wife has never thought to ask whether I ever visited a pro.

                                                                                                    H.

This is a light bulb moment for me.  A professional could enlighten me to how the EE role feels, and that’s inherently valuable.  I still believe that I would be the type to not get very far as a customer as the money exchange is diametrically opposed to my emotional angle.  It is hard to predict how my views might or might not change on visiting professionals after doing it once or twice.

6 hours ago, StrictGent said:

I have employed probably half a dozen different professionals for spanking services, and if you find the right one I think you can also meet some of your emotional needs. The fact is, most who do this professionally are spankos, so they understand the emotional side, and that's partly what they cater to. The notion they are some robot dishing out pain for $x an hour would be insulting to (most of!) them. Do your research, and you'll find a good pro who will give you the physical sensation you crave, but also to some degree tap into the emotions that go along with being spanked.  

I harbor no hard judgement against a professional possibly being helpful with my emotional angle.  I just do not expect those of my needs to be understood.  They are weighty, and I do not expect a pro to have time for that.  If she did have time for that, that does not mean I have interest in paying her hourly rate for the hours of communication over tea and crumpets that it would take for me to get it out there.  It feels like knocking on a closed door to me.  The open door, on the other hand, seems like a quick paddling.  I tell her my angle if I feel comfortable doing so, and hopefully she gets it.  If she does not get it then I would not get butthurt, no pun intended

Edited by Spanakopita
Typos
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17 hours ago, Spanakopita said:

Having clarified my position thusly, does the SN gang still think I might benefit from going pro

I think you've answered your own question. If you don't see it in a light that works for you, then… what?

Many people on this planet make money doing something they have a great passion for. Supply and demand creates a market. That's a common goal, to make a living doing what we love. A woman who loves helping other people in the role of a disciplinarian has the opportunity to do just that. It's a valuable service she provides, she has costs to cover herself, and why give it away for free? Emotional connections are made between some providers and some clients but, if you can't make that connection because it's a paid service, then it sounds like you would be better served to put in the time to find a relationship that meets your needs.

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I have nothing but the utmost respect for professionals.  I’ve been spanked by several throughout the years including some who are very well known.

With also being a switch, I thought about it.  I did go from amateur to professional in a different passion of mine, photography.  When I started getting paid for doing something I loved, I started losing my passion for it.  Shooting weddings, portraits, model portfolios, and even the interior of a small business for them to apply for a liquor license became my job and no longer my hobby.  I was very successful financially and built up a great clientele by reputation and quality of previous clients.  I had to stay creative however I lost my passion.

I don’t want to ever lose my passion for this lifestyle so I won’t go professional.

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23 hours ago, rubyredd said:

If your needs as a spankee are more toward the emotional connection end of the spectrum, then no. If you just wanted the physical sensations of a hard spanking, then a pro might be fine for that level of exploration. For me, personally, the money exchange would absolutely kill the mood and detract from the experience. 

I'm going to have to disagree for myself. There was definitely an emotional connection that built up when I saw a professional. Being built up is the important part, the first time, you don't know each other enough to have that. So, in my experience, you can get a hard experience and have an emotional connection with a professional spanker.

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4 hours ago, Zhal said:

I'm going to have to disagree for myself. There was definitely an emotional connection that built up when I saw a professional. Being built up is the important part, the first time, you don't know each other enough to have that. So, in my experience, you can get a hard experience and have an emotional connection with a professional spanker.

I agree, my experience is that ALL spankos (pros included) have a strong emotional involvement with spanking, which means they can help with more than just the whacking side of things, but tend to the emotional needs. And the more you see the same pro, the more that is true. I'm now on a friendly and real-name basis with several in Texas!

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Think of a spanking pro as you would think of any other kind of professional. 

When you need a doctor, or a therapist, you have some options. You can go to a registry. You can ask your friends if they recommend anyone. You can just use Google or Bing or Ask Jeeves. You look up the person's info. You look for reviews. You find one who you think is the most likely to fill your requirements for a doctor or therapist. You don't expect this professional to meet all your needs on a first meeting, but you're hoping for a connection that will grow to meet/understand your needs if not now, then maybe in the future. You don't always get it right the first time, but even if it's not quite the fit you're looking for, it will give you not only a better idea of what you're looking for, but the confidence to move forward. 

Keep in mind that Pros also need to vet their clients. There's a lot of craziness out there in Ee and ER world. A pro should be able to do that with just several emails and maybe a call. They most likely will forego the tea and crumpets. A pro is more apt to be able to provide that level of discretion that you seek. A good pro will also be able to fill some of those spanking related emotional needs (as opposed to other emotional needs which spanking will NOT help no matter how hard or loving the spanking may be!). The other advantage to a Pro is that she can actually set a calendar date AND MAKE A SPANKING FANTASY A SPANKING REALITY! 

As far as the emotional/money angle is concerned, you would pay a doctor or a therapist for services and these are all personal/emotional services, so why not a professional spanker?

It appears that you are trying to run with one foot nailed to the ground that's keeping you spinning in circles. Many an Ee has spent months or even years seeking and waiting for that very first spanking. I say toss the angst, do your homework, and dive into the deep end of the pool! (You might like it!)

Keep us posted!

MB

P.S. If you do happen to meet someone where there is the possibility of another kind of relationship in addition to a spanking relationship, I would think it would be a 'red flag' if they hold it against you that you ever went to a pro. It just doesn't make sense.

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On 11/6/2022 at 6:13 PM, MissBam said:

Think of a spanking pro as you would think of any other kind of professional. 

When you need a doctor, or a therapist, you have some options. You can go to a registry. You can ask your friends if they recommend anyone. You can just use Google or Bing or Ask Jeeves. You look up the person's info. You look for reviews. You find one who you think is the most likely to fill your requirements for a doctor or therapist. You don't expect this professional to meet all your needs on a first meeting, but you're hoping for a connection that will grow to meet/understand your needs if not now, then maybe in the future. You don't always get it right the first time, but even if it's not quite the fit you're looking for, it will give you not only a better idea of what you're looking for, but the confidence to move forward. 

Keep in mind that Pros also need to vet their clients. There's a lot of craziness out there in Ee and ER world. A pro should be able to do that with just several emails and maybe a call. They most likely will forego the tea and crumpets. A pro is more apt to be able to provide that level of discretion that you seek. A good pro will also be able to fill some of those spanking related emotional needs (as opposed to other emotional needs which spanking will NOT help no matter how hard or loving the spanking may be!). The other advantage to a Pro is that she can actually set a calendar date AND MAKE A SPANKING FANTASY A SPANKING REALITY! 

As far as the emotional/money angle is concerned, you would pay a doctor or a therapist for services and these are all personal/emotional services, so why not a professional spanker?

It appears that you are trying to run with one foot nailed to the ground that's keeping you spinning in circles. Many an Ee has spent months or even years seeking and waiting for that very first spanking. I say toss the angst, do your homework, and dive into the deep end of the pool! (You might like it!)

Keep us posted!

MB

P.S. If you do happen to meet someone where there is the possibility of another kind of relationship in addition to a spanking relationship, I would think it would be a 'red flag' if they hold it against you that you ever went to a pro. It just doesn't make sense.

Ooo. Is MissBam going pro? I think that's an excellent idea. Need someone to hand you implements?🥰🥰

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