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Question for spankees

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Well I received my spanking last night, For the first time in a while she scolded me, slowed down and paddled my bottom with the goal of administering a effective punishment.  Yeah it worked and I cried for a bit during after care, when she reassured me  we were getting back on track and to expect future spankings to be much of the same.


So I guess I am really dreading the next one if it is anything like last night.

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I do not think this question is "ridiculous." In a true serious disciplinary dynamic, there is always a degree of fear or dread. We never "like" facing the consequences of behaviors or infractions we have agreed are worthy of a spanking being given. Even though there is fulfillment in knowing our spanker loves us...or cares for us and our good...there is the reality that there is pain for gain. We do not fear the gain...but at least in my case...the pain of getting hide tanned is...very real. I do not look forward or want pain...but I have come to know that a painful spanking helps me focus, adjust, correct, and move forward.

I still fear the belt...after 15 years...seeing it in my husband's hand ready for use on me. The degree of fear is pretty much in linevwith the seriousness my husband takes toward whatever I am going to be disciplined for. If I know I have a good whippin' coming....then my fear is at a higher level. I used to get paddled at school growing up...and I always feared that...as well as the follow up I knew I would get at home later. 

No...I do not see "fear" as unusual in a true disciplinary dynamic. It goes with the territory...in my opinion...and in my experience too. We do have occasional purely sexual driven spankings of a very specific type sometimes...and although they can be painful...I do not fear those because because of the amazing pleasure I experience. 

I guess...in my opinion...if there is not at least some degree of fear in a true disciplinary dynamic..then it is probably not really a disciplinary dynamic, but a sexual spanking dynamic. Hey...lol...I love sex...and think that is great. We are all different in how we live out our needs for spanking.

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I'm guessing that Cassie was being facetious...sometimes it's easy to misinterpret sarcasm in text.

With the standard disclaimer that the spanko thing is unique to each person - in my opinion (with the possible exception of erotic play) I think some degree of fear is a basic element in the spanking equation.  Some might call it "nerves", "dread", "thrills", "adrenaline" etc - but at it's core I think it's just semantics for "Fear".

For myself personally, I'd go so far as to say that fear is an essential part of the cocktail that is the spanking experience.  Fear is what makes it real, authentic.  As every good spanker has probably said "It's SUPPOSED to hurt!"...and if at a primal level one has no fear of being hurt, then I wonder if they are in touch with themselves, or just confused.  And fear does not preclude desire, in fact in many cased it fuels it.  Like roller coaster junkies, many of us find ourselves drawn to the thrill of the ride across a demanding lap.  No fear - no thrill...that simple really. 

If a roller coaster was just a slow boring ride on flat ground, who would want to ride?  I've heard people say "there's no such thing as a bad spanking", those folks have never had a "slow-ride-on-flat-ground" kinda spanking.

Yawn 😵

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Honestly you’d think it would be the pain aspect but for me it’s never really that high on my worry list. I hate the disappointment, the lecture, the knowing I failed in some way. In a truly disciplinary spanking the actual spanking in some ways can be a relief, especially if you had to wait for it. 

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1 minute ago, Otkmedicine said:
On 10/19/2022 at 5:55 PM, Cassie RN said:

What a ridiculous question.  What do you think we are afraid of?

are you always this rude?

Well, she’s been complaining about the functioning  of this free site with little concern that the people who own it maintain it on their free time, so maybe so. 

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On 10/20/2022 at 12:08 PM, DunBenSpanked said:

... Some might call it "nerves", "dread", "thrills", "adrenaline" etc - but at it's core I think it's just semantics .... Fear is what makes it real, authentic.  As every good spanker has probably said "It's SUPPOSED to hurt!"...and if at a primal level one has no fear of being hurt, then I wonder if they are in touch with themselves ....

Yawn 😵


On 10/20/2022 at 12:10 PM, kodiakzach said:

As I'm currently in the middle of catching up on my discipline tab, there is a sense of dread over the situation.

I think DunBenSpanked has the key word, semantics. And he and kodiakzach have my preferred word, dread.

I personally would not say I fear getting spanked, as I know I won't be harmed and I'll get past it. But it is supposed to be painful, and unpleasant in multiple ways, and the severity is supposed to be proportionate to the misbehavior.  When I'm going to be spanked, I know why, and how much pain and unpleasantness I deserve, and I very much dread it. So yes, there's "nerves" and anxiety in the dread, and a huge sense of relief when it's over, and something of a thrill in contemplating what I just got through once I calm down a little. It's the memory of the dread, as much if not more, than the memory of how painful and unpleasant the spanking was, that makes me try to behave and avoid getting spanked again. But both memories lose their impact over time, until I find myself in trouble again, and the memories rush back to feed my dread of the coming spanking! 

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There are many things I fear aside from the obvious pain and embarrassment.  I fear having to face a disciplinarian knowing that I let her down.  That's never fun at all.  I know she is putting the time and effort to help with my improvement, and I feel terrible for not living up to my side of the bargain.  Also, when I do something I feel guilty about, I have a tendency to repress or ignore it.  But when it's time for discipline, I fear how the spanker is going to make me confront that misbehavior head on.  We're now going to have to talk about it, in depth.  I'm going to have to confess, admit what I did wrong, talk about it, own up to it, and I'm not going to be able to use excuses or talk my way out of it, like I normally do in my everyday life.  She is going to address it to make sure it doesn't happen again.  I also really fear the loss of control, along with the loss of privacy and modesty.  Those are just some of the things that really stand out for me.

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