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Why is it so hard to meet people to satisfy our needs? Is it because there are not many, people are embarrassed, or scared?? I am grateful for sites like this one. I have not spanked anyone in over a year now, and maybe having withdrawals lol… Does anyone struggle finding people?? I live on the iowa/Illinois border and can’t find anyone to discipline. I guess because I am man looking for a woman to spank. I don’t want sex, I just want to meet this need. Sorry if I sound bitchy, I just can’t believe how hard it is to find someone. Why aren’t there more of us??? 

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On 9/11/2022 at 2:46 PM, Otkmedicine said:

It’s locations! I know It can be very frustrating. Too bad you’re so far from me! Lol

This is true and a friend and I were talking about it just this week. It has always been super easy to meet people where I live because it's a metropolitan area with lots of local gatherings of like-minded people, munches, sloshes, private parties, etc.  For someone who lives out in the sticks, it has to be really hard. Often, you are limited mostly to online searches and that has it's own challenges - distance, compatibility, phonies, predators, etc.  There are lots of people who are doing online self-directed spankings because it's the only thing they can find. 

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Just some advice, go on tinder and other mainstream platforms . 

I can say from.experience there are a lot of closet spankos out there.   The last 3 girls I dated, 1 tolerated it, 2 never tried it but we're interested and wanted to try .  

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A few thoughts about this subject; I am in the mid-Michigan area, I have also noticed a sharp decline in the female spankees in this area.

it is a tougher time these days for me anyway, I take helping an ee pretty serious with being honest and not making things scarier than they already were for her. I was taking it to heart for awhile thinking that I may be doing something wrong or inconsiderate however after giving some thought I came to a few conclusions.

It may seem odd however since Craigslist was shut down it has made an impact with myself- I would post a simple honest ad, I met some wonderful and sincere females there that were local, serious as well as willing to follow through with their request- less game players and wankers.

Covid messed up a whole lot of things, people became more reclusive and stayed away from anyone unfamiliar.

My age after 55 or so seems to be a factor, there are spankees that have a fantasy of a rock star, athlete or maybe an actor spanking them which is fine if that fills their wants and needs.

The media does not help us out here, bad news sells, we all need to be safe, I insist on that but there are safely tips and actions that greatly reduce the risk of running into creeps. ( read the article about safety in the forums ).

I seem to feel there is more general distrust in general Nationally ( also world wide) among people in general with the issues that we are facing just trying to live life.

To sum it up, basically I think for Me that it can be attributed to My age, which for most types of scenarios I believe should be an advantage because of the experience, the wisdom as well as patience of a mature Mentor. I was not gifted with stunning good looks, when an ee takes the plunge into the unknowns, (she) can be guided by her instinct to choose the best Er by factors other than the ones most important.

Lastly - kind of - is that both parties here need to be careful of the attitude and personality of their choices. I once met a girl (woman) that felt the need for My help, I had a feeling but pursued anyway. She was in need of, in My opinion at least- a professional therapist, there were severe issues that I had no business or confidence dealing with having myself been through therapy and many years with a 12 step support group . This arrangement ended up quite a debacle for Me because she was upset that I felt that we were not a good fit, her rage spilled out in most all aspects of this forum, she slandered My name ( nickname) wherever she could. I am above the drama, name calling, the bashing etc…. I let her spread viscous rumors because as most know, we are outnumbered in the chat rooms and text.

It got worse but she is long gone as I knew would happen, I suspect that the damage still lingers to some extent. Thankfully I have been involved her quite awhile and had close friends and acquaintances that kept my spirits up and often defended My integrity, I thank those people both the ee’s as well as the Tops that I had a privilege to help.

A long read - my apologies, I could probably dig up other things also but ‘it is what it is’ the prior years were both fun and rewarding.

I am still around.

’ Come here young lady - It’s Time - 😏

Be good, Rick 


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I wish SN had a Directory page list by State with major cities which ER & EE’s could put User name with brief message. People could remove or add their name and state interest. 

The common problem appears people with mutual interest are too far apart. The Directory would at least give ER & EE a chance to find each other without randomly checking or searching profiles. 

I was fortunate to meet someone locally after 12 months on SN but mostly people were 500 plus miles away. 

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I find often it's a mistake of intention as well. Theres a lot of nuance when it comes to finding a specific dynamic. A lot of folk want more and havent learned how to moderate themselves. So it takes a while to properly vet folks. Its actually quite frustrating because you find great people halfway across the world

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I live in Chicago, and even here it can be difficult to find a Woman to spank me.  I feel bad for those who aren't living in a big metropolitan area.  I agree with what the others above have said regarding the difficulty of finding someone who is also on the same page as you with respect to your specific interests.  That's an additional challenge. But it's important to have patience and not give up trying.  Eventually you'll find someone. 

I also agree that I did have a lot more success when Craigslist still had the personals section.  I feel like it was easier to reach a larger audience than  on a kink-specific website.  It's too bad they removed that feature.  


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Find a partner that you truly trust and just be honest with them. I would’ve never dreamed mine would agree to go to town on my butt, but now she’s got no problem dishing out a thrashing. Initially it was interpreted as  this being a foreplay activity, and I rode with that for a few months. Eventually I just told her the truth and she didn’t judge me at all. She doesn’t really care to know “why”, and has no patience for any pointers I offer, but she entertains my kink and that’s all I could ever ask for. 

tl;dr find a good girl and just tell her a few dates in. Just go slow, use your words, and explain that it turns you on, and you want to spice up your sex life. 

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