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Reality vs Fantasy in discipline and the mental component.

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Background for my question. I have had very few spanking encounters with others. I have self spanked and do not find it effective. I have done this to the point of bruising for several weeks. I want discipline spanking from a woman for actual discipline vs role play. Oddly that makes it feel more like discipline. I do not know why mentally. That said I know the reality is I could not take as much as I mentally feel I could. Also, I crave a spanking but hate them if that makes sense.


In reality I would like a hard OTK spanking and then belting by a woman who I trusted. 


Yet my fantasies are weird and eclectic and probably not feasible. A few examples, each with me restrained:

I would like to be figged and birched outdoors.

I would like to be no warm up caned by an older asian woman.

I would like to be blind folded and spanked by different women all using different implements of their choice.

I would like single tail whip to lash my butt until the woman doing it felt I had met my penance.


Does anyone else both want to be spanked because they know they deserve it, despite hating it when it occurs, but then fantasize about odd and much more severe spankings?  Is this normal or just an added level of crazy from being over due on being spanked?


I would love feedback. And feel free to share if you have your own fantasies that you know you probably could not handle or are not feasible and probably make little sense.


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I crave spanking, but love it - even during and even when it really hurts. But my fantasies often vary from my reality. Even though I am spanked regularly and have been for a long time, I still craft new and interesting fantasies. All of what you mentioned seem normal to me. 

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My strongest fantasy is being a 12 year old brat long over due for a spanking from an angry mom or dad.   I have lived this out more than a few times. Most recently yesterday. The spanking must be like a real punishment. That means I have no input for when it stops. I NEED it to push my limits past where I can tolerate it. Once again I got exactly that yesterday .

Having said that I did have someone who said that is what they NEEDED. IT WAS HIS FANTASY.  I explained what would happen and he agreed. Once he was over my knee he discovered reality is not the same as fantasy. I Gave him what he said he needed. I have never seen him again.

The first time MY fantasy was fulfilled I could not believe how much  it really hurt and how much  I was wiggling and screaming, I thought  " How did I want this? I have had it like that about 10 times. Still sore from yesterday but want it again!


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I know I need it at times.  I've never been able to explain it.  When I'm naked and in position, a whirlwind of thoughts are in my mind between understanding I need the guidance and dreading the strapping and/or caning I'll be getting.  Fortunately, that always feeds my mindset which allows me to take what I need to take.

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My fantasy is pretty much identical to otkpantsdown49's. I want it to feel real, like a naughty boy would get from strict, but not abusive parents. For me, hand is plenty and I make it clear I'm into the psychological aspects way more than any pain aspect. Fantasy is usually better than reality because fantasies don't always line up the way they do in your imagination. During my spanking I'm often thinking "I can't believe I agreed to this." Later, sometime after the redness has gone away, I start to think about it again...

Ok, sometimes when my butt is still red too.

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11 hours ago, FiguringItOut said:

...I crave [paddling] but hate them if that makes sense.

Does anyone else both want [and need] to be [paddled] because they know they deserve it, despite hating it when it occurs?  Is this normal or just an added level of crazy from being over due on being spanked?

I would love feedback...


The whole paddling need and scene makes no sense to me. i also really need paddling, but very much dislike the paddling while it's taking place--but knowing i really need it and so, need to continue to submit... Likely part of it is being overdue for paddling and strapping, although even when it happens, i know i'll continue to need it...

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