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Phantasy and gender


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Hi everyone, sorry for the strange editing, it‘s my first post and I don’t know how to change it... I'm curious if anyone else here feels this way: I'm a female spankee and in my imagination it was always a man being spanked by another man. Also, my favorite spanking stories have always been male/male. A few months ago I found my boyfriend who loves to spank me and while it's a wonderful and very satisfying experience, sometimes I feel like something's missing. The main part of my fantasies has always been the scolding of a young man and when he now calls me young lady, these seem to be the wrong words for me and my headspace. And don't get me wrong, apart from my spanking life, I'm very happy with my gender - only here I sometimes get confused. Anyone has similar experiences or thoughts on this topic? 

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Welcome to the site @Becca123 I edited your font for you! Can you try to ask him to call you a gender neutral term? Or test out a boy pronoun if he's comfortable? Maybe even wear what would typically be a tomboyish outfit? Roleplaying doesn't always have to make sense. :)

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Some time ago, I read an article about a place in England that runs an adult school.  The reporter interviewed one lady who presents as female, sees herself as female and acts as female in every other part of her life.  However, for a day every couple of months, she is a teenage boy.  Sometimes she just has that need.  It may be a very big step for your boyfriend - I know it would be for me - but the only way to handle things like this is with honest and open communication.

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I am a middle aged man, but in my favorite fantasies I'm a young girl.  No idea why.  Just something that developed.  It's just one for the shrinks, I suppose.  I've simply embraced it.  Our inner selves don't need to have a fixed gender, I would guess.

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My thinking is than when roleplaying, anything goes as long as everyone involved is in agreement.  It's very common for people to role play as a very different age, I have played very successfully with mature women who role play as littles in the toddler age range.  There is no reason that an adult female cannot choose to role play as a male of whatever age range suits the moment.  Dressing to suit the role you are temporarily assuming would certainly be a big help getting into that mindset at the time.  An honest, open discussion with your partner about your desire to try this may well lead to facilitating the actual roleplay scenarios which you would like to be part of. 

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I know a person irl who is happy with being male but loves presenting as school girl at littles meet for pretty much vanilla games, activities and so on and while I can't personally say I truly understand it they're happy and I'm happy being around them as that "persona". It may be more common that even people within the communities think.

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I was watching the Ken Burns documentary about Ernest Hemingway...and it was really interesting...he liked to pretend he was a woman and his wife was a man when they were having sex...so goes to show you...people can imagine all sorts of things and enjoy it :)

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello everyone!

Thank you for your messages! I'm not ready to have an open discussion about this just yet with my boyfriend. I think the problem is that it's almost normal for a girl to get spanked by a guy, and to me there's nothing shameful about it. But this subject of gender change just shows how deep and confusing it all is and how much space it occupies in my mind. But that's fine with me😄

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