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Time for a real spanking... when do you get real spankings


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So tonight I'm going to be spanked by my older roomate who is a woman, but it's time for the spanking that matters gets the point across being disrespectful to people will not fly and talking to people that way I do is not ok.. and shes  going to make sure that I don't do it again . could bring real tears being discipline spanked is a different dog.. but when is it time you get that real spanking...

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15 hours ago, Justinol said:

So tonight I'm going to be spanked by my older roomate who is a woman, but it's time for the spanking that matters gets the point across being disrespectful to people will not fly and talking to people that way I do is not ok.. and shes  going to make sure that I don't do it again . could bring real tears being discipline spanked is a different dog.. but when is it time you get that real spanking...

Well being HoH and a wife who believes and spanks my husband,I would say you deserve your punishment. More men would definitely benefit from some quality time across our knees for being disrespectful. This is one area where my husband does not need training after all our years of marriage. I hope your roommate teaches you a lesson you will never forget.        Ms L.

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9 minutes ago, Spankingmyhuby said:

Well being HoH and a wife who believes and spanks my husband,I would say you deserve your punishment. More men would definitely benefit from some quality time across our knees for being disrespectful. This is one area where my husband does not need training after all our years of marriage. I hope your roommate teaches you a lesson you will never forget.        Ms L.

Well she did just that I'll tell you,

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The time for me is literally about 7 p.m. on weekdays for my daily maintenance spanking. Twice a day weekends and holidays, not at any particular time. These are maintenance spankings, as distinguished from punishment: given routinely and not arising from a transgression.

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11 hours ago, hungsmall said:

The time for me is literally about 7 p.m. on weekdays for my daily maintenance spanking. Twice a day weekends and holidays, not at any particular time. These are maintenance spankings, as distinguished from punishment: given routinely and not arising from a transgression.

Where I am strong believer in a once a week maintenance maintenance spanking. I question the benefits of a daily maintenance spanking and multiple ones ones on the weekend. When administering a once a week maintenance spanking my husband gets reminded who is in charge. Where the severity of the spanking is not like a punishment correction,it is hard enough where he tries to behave himself for the rest of the week. Your maintenance spanking must not be that severe if you are receiving a daily one or you have a unbelievable tolerance for pain.My husband would not want or survive a daily maintenance spanking from me that's for sure.    Ms L.

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14 hours ago, Spankingmyhuby said:

Your maintenance spanking must not be that severe if you are receiving a daily one or you have a unbelievable tolerance for pain.

Thank you. my tolerance for pain is not beyond belief. The severity of my daily spankings is calibrated to the frequency of them, perhaps less than you administer to your husband weekly. Through experience, my Husband has found just the right intensity to leave my butt sore for a day.

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1 hour ago, hungsmall said:

Thank you. my tolerance for pain is not beyond belief. The severity of my daily spankings is calibrated to the frequency of them, perhaps less than you administer to your husband weekly. Through experience, my Husband has found just the right intensity to leave my butt sore for a day.

Do you feel because you are spanked daily,that your behavior has improved  and punishment spankings has decreased over time. I have seen that even though I give my husband a weekly maintenance which is now more severe , that punishment spankings are less frequent. However that is not always the case and my husband earned himself and real talking too over my knee recently.                  Ms L

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2 hours ago, Spankingmyhuby said:

Do you feel because you are spanked daily,that your behavior has improved  and punishment spankings has decreased over time.

Thank you for your thoughtful question. Yes, the daily interval of spanking reinforces that my behavior must be sweet and submissive. The daily reminder with discipline (future-oriented, to what i can control) causes punishment spankings (past-oriented, to the transgression) to be nearly unnecessary.

i realize that to be spanked daily is unusual. But it benefits me and is a cornerstone ritual in the relationship with my Husband.

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1 hour ago, hungsmall said:

Thank you for your thoughtful question. Yes, the daily interval of spanking reinforces that my behavior must be sweet and submissive. The daily reminder with discipline (future-oriented, to what i can control) causes punishment spankings (past-oriented, to the transgression) to be nearly unnecessary.

i realize that to be spanked daily is unusual. But it benefits me and is a cornerstone ritual in the relationship with my Husband.

I absolutely love that you and your husband have found what works for you. Maintenance is different for every couple who uses it - and there is no single right way to do it. 

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7 hours ago, hungsmall said:

Thank you for your thoughtful question. Yes, the daily interval of spanking reinforces that my behavior must be sweet and submissive. The daily reminder with discipline (future-oriented, to what i can control) causes punishment spankings (past-oriented, to the transgression) to be nearly unnecessary.

i realize that to be spanked daily is unusual. But it benefits me and is a cornerstone ritual in the relationship with my Husband.

The main thing is that your relationship is working and maintenance spankings are being used in a positive manner. Also your husband as a disciplinarian must be given credit for your successful marriage. Even though you are left with a sore behind ,I am pretty sure his discipline he gives you is loving and fair. I am strict with my husband and criticized by some members of the forum for my discipline techniques, however we are both happy and have been married for a long time. Some marriages work quite well with one partner being in control.I know ours works that way and yours appears to be that way. Good post and continued success for you and your husband.    Ms L

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9 hours ago, Rand E said:

I understand spanking for fun.  I understand spanking for punishment.  I understand spanking for calibration.  Maintenance spanking, I still don't understand it.  :unsure:

I am right there with you. I mean, I understand the theory - it just really doesn't fit into discipline for me at all. Maintenance would have the opposite effect in terms of my behavior. For me, good girl spankings, fun / funishment, roleplay... would all be better options. I enjoy being spanked and the more often, the better. That is why each couple has to figure out what works. I wouldn't be with someone who insisted on maintenance or who only wanted to spank me according to his timeline. 

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20 hours ago, Rand E said:

I understand spanking for fun.  I understand spanking for punishment.  I understand spanking for calibration.  Maintenance spanking, I still don't understand it.  :unsure:

IMHO maintenance spankings and "Just because" spankings are purely to establish and maintain the complete dominance of the spanker over the spankee. I'm not into that kind of relationship, but I see that it works for some. 

My wife and I are more co-equals, there is no HOH, and we discuss our way to agreement on most decisions,  deferring to each other in cases of more expertise or decisions that have more impact on only one of us. When confronted with my own misbehavior or carelessness, it usually takes little if any discussion to reach agreement that I deserve to be spanked. At that point there is automatic division of labor: where, when, how, how hard and how long I get spanked is absolutely totally up to my wife, and my task is to accept my punishment and to learn from it! 

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15 hours ago, David! said:

IMHO maintenance spankings and "Just because" spankings are purely to establish and maintain the complete dominance of the spanker over the spankee. I'm not into that kind of relationship, but I see that it works for some. 

My wife and I are more co-equals, there is no HOH, and we discuss our way to agreement on most decisions,  deferring to each other in cases of more expertise or decisions that have more impact on only one of us. When confronted with my own misbehavior or carelessness, it usually takes little if any discussion to reach agreement that I deserve to be spanked. At that point there is automatic division of labor: where, when, how, how hard and how long I get spanked is absolutely totally up to my wife, and my task is to accept my punishment and to learn from it! 

When my husband and I first started dating we sat down and had a long discussion. I agreed to share his interest in spanking under the circumstances that I would be in charge of our relationship. Well he totally agreed to this arrangement ,we discussed rules made by me and he consensual agreed to those rules. When where an how severe I administer a spanking is up to me and we have lived that way our entire successful marriage. Maintenance spankings allows me to remind my husband who is in charge and relieves his urges to want to be spanked for the week. Some members hear do not understand maintenance spanking and most of them just fantasize, but want to be spanked on their terms. A quarantee that my husband is much happier submitting to my spankings then before he met me. Maintenance spankings work for us and my husband gets the real thing each week and he does not have to sit around an fantasize. That's what makes this forum great that we have different takes on a subject that has influenced our lives .  Ms L

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12 minutes ago, Spankingmyhuby said:

When my husband and I first started dating we sat down and had a long discussion. I agreed to share his interest in spanking under the circumstances that I would be in charge of our relationship. Well he totally agreed to this arrangement ,we discussed rules made by me and he consensual agreed to those rules. When where an how severe I administer a spanking is up to me and we have lived that way our entire successful marriage. Maintenance spankings allows me to remind my husband who is in charge and relieves his urges to want to be spanked for the week. Some members hear do not understand maintenance spanking and most of them just fantasize, but want to be spanked on their terms. A quarantee that my husband is much happier submitting to my spankings then before he met me. Maintenance spankings work for us and my husband gets the real thing each week and he does not have to sit around an fantasize. That's what makes this forum great that we have different takes on a subject that has influenced our lives .  Ms L

I will also add that David your wife seems to have a good handle on discipling you , but maintenance spanking does work in our marriage.   Ms L.

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9 hours ago, Spankingmyhuby said:

I will also add that David your wife seems to have a good handle on discipling you , but maintenance spanking does work in our marriage.   Ms L.

My wife definitely knows how and when to discipline me, and it's clear that you provide good discipline to your husband Ms L! Having a dominant HOH doesn't appeal to us, but that doesn't keep my wife from putting me over her knee for a good paddling whenever it's needed. Having a dominant HOH who gives maintenance spankings obviously works well for you and your hubby, and it seems to be a good arrangement for many others. Every relationship is unique, so it's not surprising there's no single type of household that fits all.

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Today is the first day that my boyfriend and I are starting a disciplinary relationship. Over the past two years he has asked me more and more often if I would consent to being spanked for behavior he didn’t like. I always agreed. So we decided to try relationship in which he didn’t ask me for permission to spank me each time. We started this morning with a spanking. I was pretty surprised by this because I hadn’t done anything wrong. But he wanted to test me to make sure that I would submit. I don’t know how I would feel about being spanked every day for no reason. It really does hurt. If you are spanked that often does it get easier? Do you get used to the pain? Do you not get as nervous before a spanking?

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58 minutes ago, Charlotte91 said:

Today is the first day that my boyfriend and I are starting a disciplinary relationship. Over the past two years he has asked me more and more often if I would consent to being spanked for behavior he didn’t like. I always agreed. So we decided to try relationship in which he didn’t ask me for permission to spank me each time. We started this morning with a spanking. I was pretty surprised by this because I hadn’t done anything wrong. But he wanted to test me to make sure that I would submit. I don’t know how I would feel about being spanked every day for no reason. It really does hurt. If you are spanked that often does it get easier? Do you get used to the pain? Do you not get as nervous before a spanking?

I would caution that kind of thing where he can randomly spank you for whatever he wants. It has the potential to turn into control and cross boundaries so just be careful. I heard someone explain DD relationships as, "I broke a rule that we agreed on and I'm accepting the punishment that we agreed on". I think that having rules decided and agreed to in advance is much healthier than just being spanked on a whim. And obviously a safe word is never optional. 

I have never been spanked daily, (although every day for several days or a week might be a good thing for me) and I wonder if it would have a numbing effect. If not physically, it could easily turn into being not as big of a deal because you get used to it? Idk. And for me, the nervousness is a must! I wouldn't want to lose that "oh crap, I'm in trouble and it's going to hurt" feeling. 

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48 minutes ago, BansheeGal said:

I would caution that kind of thing where he can randomly spank you for whatever he wants. It has the potential to turn into control and cross boundaries so just be careful. I heard someone explain DD relationships as, "I broke a rule that we agreed on and I'm accepting the punishment that we agreed on". I think that having rules decided and agreed to in advance is much healthier than just being spanked on a whim. And obviously a safe word is never optional. 

I have never been spanked daily, (although every day for several days or a week might be a good thing for me) and I wonder if it would have a numbing effect. If not physically, it could easily turn into being not as big of a deal because you get used to it? Idk. And for me, the nervousness is a must! I wouldn't want to lose that "oh crap, I'm in trouble and it's going to hurt" feeling. 

Spanking this morning was just a one time thing. I certainly don’t expect to get spanked every day!

 

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