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Hi from Maine

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Hello all, realized I never gave a formal group introduction. I’m 35/f from Southern Maine. I haven’t been spanked since college, when I was disciplined a few times for motivational purposes. Happily married to someone who doesn’t mind the erotic part of spanking, but doesn’t understand why I feel like I need to be spanked hard otk sometimes. Looking for conversation and maybe a completely non sexual meet up eventually, somewhere south of Bangor. Feel free to write me if you are from that area or visit sometimes, or anyone who just wants to chat. I’ve only been spanked by males in the past, but would not to be opposed to a female, if the opportunity presented itself. 

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Although I understand you wanting to find someone to administer a harder spanking, I think your best option would be to sit down with your husband and discuss your needs.  You are already more than half way there . . . at least your husband is aware of your interest in being spanked; it's not like you have been hiding it from him.  Obviously, I have no idea how he currently spanks you, but if he typically spanks you by hand, then simply switching to a hairbrush or paddle, etc., might make a big difference in the "results" on your end of things.  My wife has always been afraid of hurting me, and her spankings are literally only about 2 minutes in duration.  However, she NEVER spanks by hand, and typically uses a leather paddle or small oval hairbrush.  Lately, she has been using BOTH during that same 2 minute spanking, and trust me when I tell you that by the time she is finished, I am more than eager for her to stop.                                 

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I agree with @SpankorBSpanked.  You’re already married to a spanko.  That = very lucky!  Ask him to switch it up with an implement.  Most vanilla people would have no idea how much a hairbrush hurts.  Use that to your advantage.  😉

The problem I see with getting this need met outside your marriage is the very real possibility that you’ll begin to develop feelings for your spanker, and believe me when I tell you that this can happen without any sex in the mix!   Spanking is bonding, and when someone besides a spouse is meeting this need that your spouse isn’t meeting, it can open a door you never wanted to open.  Not saying you would act on it, but am saying that the temptation can be pretty powerful.

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Thank you both for your input. I have tried explaining why I want more than just a couple smacks during sex. He just doesn’t understand. I have no idea how I would introduce an implement or how to explain what I need. Also, since it hasn’t been since college, I kind of want to have a hard spanking again, to make sure it is something I still crave. What if I do it and it isn’t like I remember? I don’t want to go to all the effort of getting my husband to do it and have it change our dynamic in a bad way. Instead of a long term relationship, would it make everyone feel better if I look for a one off experience?

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As I see it you have a couple of options here. First, let's explore the possibility of expanding the sort of spankings you are able to get from your husband. I think you should be able to have a rational conversation, at a time when spanking is not going to take place, and explain that you want him to try spanking you harder with an implement, just so you can learn how you will respond to that.  It seems like a reasonable thing to request based upon him already knowing that you like to be spanked, and you are not at this point asking for a dramatic change in the dynamic of your overall relationship.  I think you can make it clear this is an experiment and that afterward you can discuss it further.  Should it turn out that you totally enjoyed that sort of spanking from him, you can work together to incorporate similar spankings in your future, and if you realize that it's no longer what you are looking for, you can say so and hopefully he will respect that choice. 

Secondly, as a disciplinarian with decades of experience spanking women, I see nothing wrong with you seeking out someone outside your marriage who is safe for a non-sexual spanking experience which you can negotiate the details of. I can assure you that it is possible for someone to give you a non-sexual spanking, although not everyone who would be interested in spanking you is going to want to keep it non-sexual. Over the years I have spanked many women whose husbands or romantic partners were not aware that I was providing that service, and it has worked out very well, everyone involved has been discreet, and those I spank have been very pleased they are able to safely get this need taken care of.  As someone pointed out earlier creating such a relationship facilitates some definite bonding experiences with your disciplinarian which are not in or of themselves a bad thing, but you will find yourself becoming friends with him, even if you had not planned for that. It does not ever have to become romantic, but outsiders who do not understand the dynamic of the relationship between a disciplinarian and a woman who is choosing to be spanked by him may not find that easy to accept. 

The real issue with seeking something outside your marriage is how you feel about that, and whether or not you think it is a great plan to keep that from your husband.  While it is possible to have a very discreet relationship with a spanker who only interacts with you in the realm of spankings, you have to consider that it's possible your husband could somehow find out and be upset.  There is also a very real possibility that your spanking will leave marks or bruises which your husband may see afterward, and are rather difficult to explain when he already knows you like to be spanked. 

Feel free to send me a private message if you wish to discuss any aspects of this further.  If you were nearby, or traveled through the midwest occasionally, I would be able to safely provide what you are seeking. 

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