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Communicating after a spanking


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1 hour ago, AfterGeometry said:

After administrating a spanking then it's straight to Sex, Sex, Sex, and Sex.   No discussion necessary.    I thought this was routine knowledge???!!!!!    ???

Finally! A man who doesn't want to get all chatty after a spanking.

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For discipline, I review performance prior to the spanking and talk about future improvement during. Afterward, we normally share a glass of wine and chill. Most of the conversation, if there is any, is initiated by her. Things like "Damn, feel the heat coming through my jeans."  Or after she goes to inspect herself in the mirror, "Damn, look what you did." 

If I do a longer, non-disciplinary scene, I wrap my partner in a blanket and cuddle her for a while. No words are required.

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8 hours ago, AfterGeometry said:

After administrating a spanking then it's straight to Sex, Sex, Sex, and Sex.   No discussion necessary.    I thought this was routine knowledge???!!!!!    ???

When my husband is receiving a playful spanking then yes the next is to the bedroom for fun. But under no circumstances is sex on either of our minds after I have corrected him for something I have punished him for. Yes he is forgiven but that is where it ends .

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7 hours ago, rubyredd said:

Finally! A man who doesn't want to get all chatty after a spanking.

Yes I expect my husband to sit and talk about his spanking , but he is not chatty after punishment. This is really why I asked this question because I wish he would open more after discipline.I don't know if it's because he is embarrassed or what but I feel it's important to discuss the correction for both parties.

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2 minutes ago, Spankingmyhuby said:

Yes I expect my husband to sit and talk about his spanking , but he is not chatty after punishment. This is really why I asked this question because I wish he would open more after discipline.I don't know if it's because he is embarrassed or what but I feel it's important to discuss the correction for both parties.

Maybe your husband is in a private, non-talking sort of headspace after a spanking. I've seen some people on here mention that it works that way for them.

Might it work better for him to discuss it with you before instead? Or after some time has gone by, instead of immediately after the spanking?

Something for the two of you to discuss, at a time when he hasn't just been spanked and isn't about to be.

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10 minutes ago, hungsmall said:

This is true in the case of me and my Husband, as He finds the heat of my freshly-spanked butt especially arousing.

I find having a freshly spanked butt extremely arousing! Sex after a spanking is the sexiest sex. ?

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4 minutes ago, Bramblewine said:

Maybe your husband is in a private, non-talking sort of headspace after a spanking. I've seen some people on here mention that it works that way for them.

Might it work better for him to discuss it with you before instead? Or after some time has gone by, instead of immediately after the spanking?

Something for the two of you to discuss, at a time when he hasn't just been spanked and isn't about to be.

Well yes everyone is different and maybe it is a man thing about not wanting to discuss his spanking and behavior . He is escorted straight to the corner after a spanking and yes it is childish but it is something I believe in. But after that we have our little talk.You brought up interesting concepts and that's what I like about this forum . I can always can learn from someone else even after 20 years of marriage. Good post !

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I definitely need communication from my ER after my punishment.  My current ER has taken a lot of time to understand the best way to communicate during aftercare to ensure I have learned a necessary lesson and understand that I am forgiven.  

While he spoke in a calm firm tone scolding me during my punishment, during aftercare he speaks to me gently and kindly.  We discuss what I did to deserve my spanking and paddling, my behavior during punishment, and how I will be held accountable to change my behavior.  

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9 minutes ago, ChicagoLady said:

I definitely need communication from my ER after my punishment.  My current ER has taken a lot of time to understand the best way to communicate during aftercare to ensure I have learned a necessary lesson and understand that I am forgiven.  

While he spoke in a calm firm tone scolding me during my punishment, during aftercare he speaks to me gently and kindly.  We discuss what I did to deserve my spanking and paddling, my behavior during punishment, and how I will be held accountable to change my behavior.  

That sounds about right ChicagoLady. If my ER doesn’t discuss my spanking afterwards i tend to pout or drop.

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4 minutes ago, Otkmedicine said:

That sounds about right ChicagoLady. If my ER doesn’t discuss my spanking afterwards i tend to pout or drop.

Yes, it is so important to have an ER who adjusts aftercare to fit the EE’s needs.  Fortunately, my ER has the perfect balance of being a loving dominant and an extremely strict disciplinarian.  

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For us...after the spanking is time for after care. Aftercare varies for us, but it is not a time to verbally rehash what I just got punished for. All that was thoroughly communicated before and during the punishment. When the last stroke is laid down...it is time to now reassure me of his love and commitment to helping me learn and grow. Aftercare might be...me crying in his arms, or resting in his lap, or laying my head in his lap or on his shoulder...with him comforting me and running his hand thru my hair, or hugging me. He usually does not permit sex immediately after a spanking, but waits awhile after the spanking has ended. However, now and then...lol...he does make exceptions. I love aftercare...it seems to bring full resolution...especially to our more and emotional experience...That is why I hate corner time or punitive restraint after a spanking...because it usually robs me of the after are in his arms. 

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23 hours ago, nicoleS39 said:

For us...after the spanking is time for after care. Aftercare varies for us, but it is not a time to verbally rehash what I just got punished for. All that was thoroughly communicated before and during the punishment. When the last stroke is laid down...it is time to now reassure me of his love and commitment to helping me learn and grow. Aftercare might be...me crying in his arms, or resting in his lap, or laying my head in his lap or on his shoulder...with him comforting me and running his hand thru my hair, or hugging me. He usually does not permit sex immediately after a spanking, but waits awhile after the spanking has ended. However, now and then...lol...he does make exceptions. I love aftercare...it seems to bring full resolution...especially to our more and emotional experience...That is why I hate corner time or punitive restraint after a spanking...because it usually robs me of the after are in his arms. 

Yes.  Exactly.  After discipline, my wife and I engage only in TLC and closeness.  All the negativity and scolding is done.  The whole idea of the discipline is to bring an end to the conflict or infraction, followed by re-affirmation of the strong bond of love and mutual respect that makes the disciplinary relationship possible.    

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2 hours ago, rubyredd said:

I like to have a break after real discipline - no chatting, just quiet time. None of us are the same. If your partner doesn't like to talk afterward, please respect that. He may be in a headspace that makes talking unnecessary or uncomfortable.

My wife and I always do TLC after discipline.  Usually not a lot of talking.  The only thing I've ever been ambivalent about is that the after-care can be so tender and loving that it gets arousing and leads to actual loving.  At first I wondered about having sex right after discipline, but now, I just consider it make-up sex and it's all good.

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My wife prefers to make sure the reasons for disciplining me are clearly understood before and especially after the spanking, while I am still over her knee. Corner time or other punishments may follow. It is entirely up to her. Sex after a disciplinary spanking would never happen. 

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 11/17/2021 at 1:43 PM, Spankingmyhuby said:

Well yes everyone is different and maybe it is a man thing about not wanting to discuss his spanking and behavior . He is escorted straight to the corner after a spanking and yes it is childish but it is something I believe in. But after that we have our little talk.You brought up interesting concepts and that's what I like about this forum . I can always can learn from someone else even after 20 years of marriage. Good post !

Maybe he doesn’t feel free to express himself for fear of additional punishment.  Your posts suggest he is punished for expressing disagreement with you. Self expression may not be with the risk. 

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