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Sad as ER may be leaving for an extended period!


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Hi guys - so I am in a bit of a crisis mode because I learned over the weekend that there is strong possibility that my ER may be heading away on secondment for 6 months. Our arrangement has been working for me and having discipline in my life has made a huge difference for me - I've progressed in lots of areas. I am now worried about regressing and what things are going to be like with him gone for at least 6 months. I can't fly to the US when I need to be punished.
 
Any of you guys have experience of this happening?
 
I don't know how I can keep spanking in my life while he's gone. I think I was incredibly lucky to find someone to do this within an existing friendship where there is loads of trust. I am struggling to see how i could replicate that or find it again.
 
I've read up on self-spanking but it's not something I've ever tried or seriously contemplated - I don't see how it would work because I really don't like pain and think I have to have someone else administer it.  The idea also feels quite weird to me. Can this ever really work as an alternative?
 
One thing I've thought about (actually my ER floated it) is a looking for a really professional disciplinarian (not a dominatrix kind of person) who might be able to fill the void somewhat; that feels like a very big step for me and I think it would have to be a woman in order for me be remotely comfortable. I know no one should advertise their services on here (and am not looking for that) but do any of you have any thoughts on whether that's a good idea / experience of going down that route? Are there really people who are total professionals and not on the scene for sexual reasons etc and work with very vanilla people?
 
All thoughts and advice welcome - I'm in a bit of a tailspin!
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Reading your blogs I realise what a strong bond you had with him and replacing him will be very hard, if at all possible. 

There are many good spankers out there but finding one you trust to the extent you did him will be very hard. 

Good luck in your search 

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  • 1 month later...

hi all -

So this is definitely happening - he's heading away in mid December for around 4 months. Sounds strange but I'm really disappointed.

Would welcome any thoughts / advice on the above ideas and on stop gap options.

thanks!

Naomi

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hi all -

So this is definitely happening - he's heading away in mid December for around 4 months. Sounds strange but I'm really disappointed.

Would welcome any thoughts / advice on the above ideas and on stop gap options.

thanks!

Naomi

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Please let us know what happens and how everything works out.  I imagine a lot of people have faced this problem in the past, and their numbers are likely to grow in the future.

                                                                                                                   H.

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Hi Naomi,

Really feel for you and hope you’re coping in the meantime.

I am aware of a female spanking therapist who appears to be highly professional and ethical, however her services are fee based. I have no connection with her and have not used her services.

Do let me know if this may be of interest and will happily send you a link to her web site. 

Tom

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Hi @Naomi

I know how it feels to lose a disciplinarian who is exceptional and who you’ve developed a deep sense of trust with.  When that trust and bond is there, it’s about the hardest loss there is.  

As for finding a professional disciplinarian, it’s an option I guess, but I think it would feel lacking, because that person wouldn’t take the time to get to know you and bond with you, and they wouldn’t care about you the same way that your disciplinarian does.  Will you and your disciplinarian be staying in touch while he’s away?  Can he assign you non-spanking punishments?  Or keep a tally on your behavior and meet out the spankings when he gets back? 

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