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Spanking radar


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You know how gay men can detect a gay man at 50 paces, can spank fans detect each other? 

I can't be the only one who has seemingly detected fellow spankees/spanker. I know people now how are to my mind very obviously tuned into the correct way to treat their own or other people's bottoms. 

Do we all have a built in spankdar? Like those turning radar things at the airport but made out of ratan? 

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Great question, I have often wondered this. I think so. The trouble is, when my spank-dar goes off, I'm usually too chicken to test it. That is, when I think I've come across a fellow spanko (usually a woman), I don't do anything to see if she really is. I did once, many years ago, and I was right. But since then it's gone off many times and I've never been brave (or foolish!) enough to follow through.

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Over the years, I've come to realize that it happens for me pretty often.  I have no clue how or why it works, but many people have told me that I seem to attract fellow spankos like a magnet, and in a wide variety of locations and situations. 

I am not afraid to test the waters if there are clues, or when I have strong feelings that it may be the case.  If someone makes a comment about spanking, discipline, or punishment in casual conversation, I will respond to it in a manner that makes it clear I am interested in further discussion about what they are saying, or even make an offer to help them with that. No one has ever responded negatively and I have actually been able to spank a number of the women.  

It makes me wonder, if they also can sense that there is a person who shares their interest, and either subconsciously or intentionally proceed to say or do something that will make me aware of it. However it's happening, it does work for making that connection!

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Although i wish a spanking radar existed, it doesn't for me and apparently not for anyone around me. A spanking radar could sure help and possibly lead to some associations and experiences. We've had a topic about wearing some outward symbol to indicate our interest, so i'd guess that most don't have the radar. Congratulations to those who have it and can sense fellow spankophiles. That must be a great blessing! Consider it a gift--i think those who have it are among a very few with the gift.  It had never occurred to me that gays can detect other gays at 50 paces--interesting concept. Too bad spankos don't give off and detect the spanko vibe!

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We're naturally inclined to find others who have similar desires or beliefs.  It's what makes us human!  Unlike other groups, I have found it difficult to identify fellow spankos.  Even the key words don't always associate (but can be a good indicator).  Since trust is such an important part of spanking though, it's tough to find fellow spankos by intuition.  If only it was just a bit easier...

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I think that is so interesting that some people have " spankdar"! I truly wish I had instead of wondering while I was in a store, or party etc...

Maybe we should wear wristbands, blue for spanker, yellow for switch, and red ( naturally) for spankee. Any color combination would work, but think of the sly grins when shopping...etc..lol

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3 hours ago, Michellessub said:

Do we all have a built in spankdar? Like those turning radar things at the airport but made out of ratan? 

That made me laugh, first thing that popped into my head was Inspector gadget. My spankdar is damn near surgical. Just certain things you notice kind of give it away, the more involved you are in TTWD the stronger the spankdar skill set grows 

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I don’t think I have one, either. I will bring it up sometimes if a conversation tends to last, but it either ends the conversation or gets ignored. I sometimes wonder if I’m the only spanko in Colorado lol I know as populated as we are they exist, but haven’t been able to find them. Definitely not by intuition or a “spankdar.” That would be cool to have one lol

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That is definitely an urban myth about gays being able to identify other gays.  I have more of a refined "gaydar" than any of the gay guys I have known (who are all generally horrible at it.)  In fact, gay men actually only seem to notice straight, masculine alpha males ( people want what they can't have, 'tis human nature lol.)   

Actually I think sensing if a female is a spankee is fairly straightforward if you can catch an obvious submissive vibe/demeanor in their overall disposition.  Because even if she has never been spanked before, a submissive woman can seem overwhelmingly welcome to the idea and open to experiment in that space (we can thank the popularity of Fifty Shades for some of this.)

Just some of my observations, they may not ring true for everyone.  

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  • 2 weeks later...

I feel that my instincts are very keen in this area. I can also usually detect gays almost immediately, just by watching the subtlest of their movements. There aren't any unique movements to spankos, though, at least none that I've observed. It will come out subtly in something they say. So I can't look at someone and tell they're a spanko, but if I talk to them, I can usually pick it up quickly. Then again, maybe I'm not as good at this as I think I am, because I haven't met that many.

 :anyone:

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On 9/16/2021 at 9:31 AM, StrictGent said:

Great question, I have often wondered this. I think so. The trouble is, when my spank-dar goes off, I'm usually too chicken to test it. That is, when I think I've come across a fellow spanko (usually a woman), I don't do anything to see if she really is. I did once, many years ago, and I was right. But since then it's gone off many times and I've never been brave (or foolish!) enough to follow through.

When you figure out something gallant to say to such a potential spanko, please share with us your thoughts.... :D

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On 10/3/2021 at 7:53 PM, Chawsee said:

I feel that my instincts are very keen in this area. I can also usually detect gays almost immediately, just by watching the subtlest of their movements. There aren't any unique movements to spankos, though, at least none that I've observed. It will come out subtly in something they say. So I can't look at someone and tell they're a spanko, but if I talk to them, I can usually pick it up quickly. Then again, maybe I'm not as good at this as I think I am, because I haven't met that many.

 :anyone:

I believe this.  You pick up all kinds of things about people, like how they’re feeling or about something they’re struggling with.   Do you have keen observation or is it a type of intuition? 

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On 9/16/2021 at 9:43 AM, Michellessub said:

You know how gay men can detect a gay man at 50 paces, can spank fans detect each other? 

I can't be the only one who has seemingly detected fellow spankees/spanker. I know people now how are to my mind very obviously tuned into the correct way to treat their own or other people's bottoms. 

Do we all have a built in spankdar? Like those turning radar things at the airport but made out of ratan? 

I've felt some sort of intuition about people before. Several times it's been right. A few times it's been wrong. A lot of times it remains a mystery. It's too eratic for me to swear by. 

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I don't have a "radar" to detect other spankos, but I do seem to be able to spot other kinky people quite easily. I've been sus on a few people before but have never really broached the subject. 

I think there are some signs to look for, how they react to the word, how they look at hairbrushes/spoons etc. But they're really subtle and probably quite hard to spot unless you know the person really well.

 

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On 10/10/2021 at 10:22 PM, SpudStateSpanky said:

I believe this.  You pick up all kinds of things about people, like how they’re feeling or about something they’re struggling with.   Do you have keen observation or is it a type of intuition? 

I notice the slightest expressions and body language. I also trust my gut, as it rarely leads me wrong. It's not infallible; I have certainly been wrong about people. But it was usually when I was talking too much and not quietly observing enough. ;) 

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15 hours ago, Am123 said:

I think there are some signs to look for, how they react to the word, how they look at hairbrushes/spoons etc. But they're really subtle and probably quite hard to spot unless you know the person really well.

Well said! :)

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10 hours ago, Llradiate said:

I don’t think I can really detect anything, but the women I have spanked all told me that they had desires to be spanked, but never had been spanked. Guess spankos just have invisible magnets inside of them sometimes. 

Your profile says you’re in your early 20’s but you refer to all these women you’ve spanked.  How many women have you actually spanked?

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10 hours ago, Llradiate said:

I don’t think I can really detect anything, but the women I have spanked all told me that they had desires to be spanked, but never had been spanked. Guess spankos just have invisible magnets inside of them sometimes. 

Your profile says you’re in your early 20’s but you refer to all these women you’ve spanked.  How many women have you actually spanked?

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Occam’s Razor leads me to believe spankdar is not real and the woman were just into you guys other reasons. Sort of like you hate dancing, poetry, harmonica or similar - but your sexual interest (you guys are twenty somethings not intended to be condescending here) loves those things and you say yeah I love those too! 

It is definitely a numbers game but playing “my spankdar tells me we have a mutual interest” has probably got same odds as winning roulette. Even if you were right about her interest in spanking to just say hell yeah please spank me stranger?  Or she is a friend of a friend when she doesn’t know if you can keep it on downlow (I am old but means keep secret when the best decade 1980’s was in full effect (sorry another slang). 

I got outed as EE and it was not spankdar but the way women that knew me reacted when things settled down. The reaction was freak, disgust or their questions showed interest even though absolutely nothing about them gave any hint. And even then it was typical a slow process to go curiosity to me giving her an OTK. Repeatedly bringing up it up and it becomes obvious to both we got Mac n Cheese peanut butter and jelly.  

Yes, 1980s (and pretty much constant)  I did have a cool car, tight Members Only jacket and was a great dancer …but not a gq player woman would be into anything I was to jump right to  “Netflix n Chill”  (see how easily I can move between decades?) 

If there is truly Spankdar, then you guys suck. Makes it impossible if you guys can cherry pick while I see only Roulette wheel spinning and think best to keep my mouth shut. Most of us have ability to spot PRIDE enthusiasts or Frat boys as they want to show the world they are indeed proud. Spanko’s -well maybe at Shadow Lane party.

But please share one thing that sets off Female Spankdar. 

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