"Male Spankee Support Group" Members: Check In

[Chawsee]

50 minutes ago, GaryMcKee said:

I’ve thought this over and I think the best approach is two-fold. First, talk to your wife about all the wonderful memories you have of being spanked by her. Go into detail. Recall as many spankings as you can. This will impress your wife. Tell her how much you love her for spanking you and how often your last thought at night is of being turned over her knee. Second, let your wife know that you trying hard to be a good boy for her. Ask, “Is that good enough? I want to please you and I definitely DON’T want to displease you.” In essence, you are a naughty boy who is trying to be good for her but unfortunately, you lack discipline. The dynamic between you will shift in the direction you desire. I wish you great success! ?

Gary, this is outstanding! Thank you very much for sharing this with all of us.

From a woman's perspective, I can attest that this approach has the potential to move mountains in your gal's heart. Women, like men, respond to appreciation, and this is something that neither sex gets enough of. But when you're sharing with your wife, in detail, all the wonderful memories you have of being spanked by her, and you tell her how much you love her for spanking you, your appreciation for her can't help but deepen her appreciation of (and affection for) you, too. And when you share with her how often your last thought at night is of being turned over her knee, don't be surprised if she's motivated to make this an even more common "last thought of the night" for you.  

We all know what it's like to be taken for granted. We also know what it's like to feel valued, and how much more inspired we are to be our best when we feel that we're making a difference in someone's life, and that they appreciate us for it.

[Chawsee]

On 9/18/2021 at 3:49 AM, countspankulot said:

Hi Chawsee and everyone, 

Ive received very few spankings from my wife over the last few months. She threatens a lot but rarely follows through. And Ive yet to feel the belt I bought earlier this year.

I guess what is most frustrating is that her spanking me seems to be based totally on her mood rather than my behavior.  I even reacted a little angrily to a quick spanking she gave me last week since it seemed so random. Ive never done that before. I'm usually grateful. 

I guess I should take a page from Gary's book and tell her how I've been feeling. But I feel like we've had these conversations in the past and they went nowhere. 

Thanks for listening,

Tom

Tom, if you're willing, would you please keep us updated? Maybe share what worked or didn't work, even if it's just a small frustration or triumph. The thing is, what you're going through is something that so many married EE men (and women) can relate to. Sometimes it just helps them to know that they're not the only ones. You have a simple, honest approach, a way of telling it as it is. This adds a certain value to your contributions. 

[Redbtmboy]

Hey all!  Thanks for the conversation, advice and sharing here.  It is nice to have a place to open up about what we are dealing with and feeling. 

As for me, I've had a long time interest in spanking and years ago I asked my wife to spank me.  Being the wonderful woman that she is, she did.  Her heart wasn't in it and she felt uncomfortable doing it because she didn't know what to do.  She's given me a few (maybe a handful) but has said its "not her thing" and she doesn't feel comfortable because she's doesn't know what to do.  I am really missing the discipline and correction and, like some of you have said, I want to be good for her.  I need to talk with her and open up more about this but I just don't know how to approach it.  You are giving me the encouragement and support to do that and reach out.  Fingers crossed...

[countspankulot]

On 9/21/2021 at 10:06 PM, GaryMcKee said:

I’ve thought this over and I think the best approach is two-fold. First, talk to your wife about all the wonderful memories you have of being spanked by her. Go into detail. Recall as many spankings as you can. This will impress your wife. Tell her how much you love her for spanking you and how often your last thought at night is of being turned over her knee. Second, let your wife know that you trying hard to be a good boy for her. Ask, “Is that good enough? I want to please you and I definitely DON’T want to displease you.” In essence, you are a naughty boy who is trying to be good for her but unfortunately, you lack discipline. The dynamic between you will shift in the direction you desire. I wish you great success! ?

Thanks, Gary. I'll give that a try.

[countspankulot]

On 9/22/2021 at 12:56 AM, Chawsee said:

Tom, if you're willing, would you please keep us updated? Maybe share what worked or didn't work, even if it's just a small frustration or triumph. The thing is, what you're going through is something that so many married EE men (and women) can relate to. Sometimes it just helps them to know that they're not the only ones. You have a simple, honest approach, a way of telling it as it is. This adds a certain value to your contributions. 

I'd be glad to update the group. And I can't tell you how good it feels to have someone who cares (thanks as always for the kind words,Chawsee) and a group that offers advice or just understanding.

[countspankulot]

On 9/22/2021 at 9:50 PM, Redbtmboy said:

Hey all!  Thanks for the conversation, advice and sharing here.  It is nice to have a place to open up about what we are dealing with and feeling. 

As for me, I've had a long time interest in spanking and years ago I asked my wife to spank me.  Being the wonderful woman that she is, she did.  Her heart wasn't in it and she felt uncomfortable doing it because she didn't know what to do.  She's given me a few (maybe a handful) but has said its "not her thing" and she doesn't feel comfortable because she's doesn't know what to do.  I am really missing the discipline and correction and, like some of you have said, I want to be good for her.  I need to talk with her and open up more about this but I just don't know how to approach it.  You are giving me the encouragement and support to do that and reach out.  Fingers crossed...

Hi Redbtmboy. I understand what you are going through. My wife reacted in a similar way the first couple of years after I asked her to spank me. We talked a lot. I gave her books, articles, and websites to read (which she grew to hate).

Being in control in our relationship proved to be what ultimately led to her "buying in." This of course led to me doing a lot more of the housework too making things easier on her. So try to help her see what she will get out of it - since spanking you is something that makes her uncomfortable.

Good luck and keep us updated.

[Chawsee]

On 9/22/2021 at 7:50 PM, Redbtmboy said:

Hey all!  Thanks for the conversation, advice and sharing here.  It is nice to have a place to open up about what we are dealing with and feeling. 

As for me, I've had a long time interest in spanking and years ago I asked my wife to spank me.  Being the wonderful woman that she is, she did.  Her heart wasn't in it and she felt uncomfortable doing it because she didn't know what to do.  She's given me a few (maybe a handful) but has said its "not her thing" and she doesn't feel comfortable because she's doesn't know what to do.  I am really missing the discipline and correction and, like some of you have said, I want to be good for her.  I need to talk with her and open up more about this but I just don't know how to approach it.  You are giving me the encouragement and support to do that and reach out.  Fingers crossed...

Hi Redbtmboy! Thanks for joining us and posting how you're doing. I somehow feel that there may be hope for your wife. She did say that spanking is "not her thing," but it seems, from what you've said here, that she's hesitant because she doesn't know what to do. If there's a spanking video from SpankingTube or xHamster that resonates with you, you might share it with her (perhaps while you two are cuddling?). Just a thought. It may or may not be the right approach for you.

And always praise any effort in the right direction, no matter how small. Doing this for YOU should always feel good to HER. And if/when you do succeed in getting her to spank you, it helps if you're thankful to her, helpful, and well behaved for a few days afterwards, so that she sees the positive affects this has on you and the relationship. Best of luck, and keep us in the loop.  

[Chawsee]

On 9/25/2021 at 6:59 AM, countspankulot said:

I'd be glad to update the group. And I can't tell you how good it feels to have someone who cares (thanks as always for the kind words,Chawsee) and a group that offers advice or just understanding.

Thank you for your kind words, Count. I appreciate you fellas. Without you, we wouldn't have this group... or this particular camaraderie.

[Geoffreaux]

I saw a gif the other day that I can’t stop thinking about. I find most spanking pics and movies kind of boring. This one however, made me wish that I would someday find someone to spank me like that. It was very exciting.

[countspankulot]

Well what was it? Can you provide the link Geoffreaux?

[pantyboy817]

hi folks, new to the group.

I'm a lifelong spanko, happily married to my wife for more than a dozen years. she has long known of my interest in being spanked, but for the majority of our marriage I have been the spanker and she the spankee.

a couple of weekends ago we were hanging out at home playing video games, and I playfully told her that my butt was cold and could she please help me with that? well sure enough she did, and spanked me a few more times that weekend.

the following week she noticed I was in a much better mood, happier, more appreciative, and more helpful around the house. so she gave me several spanking sessions again on the weekend. at some point she offered to give me 10 minute spanking sessions every day, and I've taken her up on her offer.

keeping it light and playful in nature allows us to work it into her evening routine, and any given evening I may encourage her to take 1, 2, or 3 breaks to keep my butt warm.

so far so good!

[Redbtmboy]

Hi everyone.  I had to check in with all of you.  After a very long and frustrating spell, I broke down last night and basically told my wife I needed a spanking.  She is familiar with me being a spanko but hasn't really embraced it.  I don't mean to suggest she hasn't spanked me in the past, she has.... but her heart isn't into it.  Basically, last night we had some time alone (all the kids were out of the house) and I told her I was really struggling and I really felt I needed a spanking to help me clear my head.  To my delight, she agreed and I went over her knee for a good round of bottom warming from the bath brush.  It was magical.  She was firm but loving.  When she was done she told me to get up and ordered me to bed.  This morning my bottom was still pink from the spanking and I showed her.  I think she actually got a kick out of it as she dropped a few comments during the day today to remind me of it.  Fingers crossed we may have made baby steps.

[Chawsee]

On 12/10/2021 at 3:43 PM, pantyboy817 said:

hi folks, new to the group.

I'm a lifelong spanko, happily married to my wife for more than a dozen years. she has long known of my interest in being spanked, but for the majority of our marriage I have been the spanker and she the spankee.

a couple of weekends ago we were hanging out at home playing video games, and I playfully told her that my butt was cold and could she please help me with that? well sure enough she did, and spanked me a few more times that weekend.

the following week she noticed I was in a much better mood, happier, more appreciative, and more helpful around the house. so she gave me several spanking sessions again on the weekend. at some point she offered to give me 10 minute spanking sessions every day, and I've taken her up on her offer.

keeping it light and playful in nature allows us to work it into her evening routine, and any given evening I may encourage her to take 1, 2, or 3 breaks to keep my butt warm.

so far so good!

Welcome! It's nice to have you join us. This is a great group of guys, so you'll fit right in here. It's inspiring that you decided to bottom for your wife, and that you're reaping the benefits.  Thanks for sharing. It may give someone else hope. 

[Chawsee]

On 12/29/2021 at 7:14 PM, Redbtmboy said:

Hi everyone.  I had to check in with all of you.  After a very long and frustrating spell, I broke down last night and basically told my wife I needed a spanking.  She is familiar with me being a spanko but hasn't really embraced it.  I don't mean to suggest she hasn't spanked me in the past, she has.... but her heart isn't into it.  Basically, last night we had some time alone (all the kids were out of the house) and I told her I was really struggling and I really felt I needed a spanking to help me clear my head.  To my delight, she agreed and I went over her knee for a good round of bottom warming from the bath brush.  It was magical.  She was firm but loving.  When she was done she told me to get up and ordered me to bed.  This morning my bottom was still pink from the spanking and I showed her.  I think she actually got a kick out of it as she dropped a few comments during the day today to remind me of it.  Fingers crossed we may have made baby steps.

What terrific news! Thank you for sharing this update. I think we can all agree that this deserves a round of applause! 

[countspankulot]

On 9/21/2021 at 10:06 PM, GaryMcKee said:

I’ve thought this over and I think the best approach is two-fold. First, talk to your wife about all the wonderful memories you have of being spanked by her. Go into detail. Recall as many spankings as you can. This will impress your wife. Tell her how much you love her for spanking you and how often your last thought at night is of being turned over her knee. Second, let your wife know that you trying hard to be a good boy for her. Ask, “Is that good enough? I want to please you and I definitely DON’T want to displease you.” In essence, you are a naughty boy who is trying to be good for her but unfortunately, you lack discipline. The dynamic between you will shift in the direction you desire. I wish you great success! ?

 

I did try this. We both talked about memorable spankings she gave me in the past and how it made us both feel. While they were great conversation, not much seemed to change. But lately, my wife has started to become much stricter and plans on giving me a punishment spanking in a couple of days (and every Tuesday) due to commitment I let go that is costing us money.

We'll see how it goes and whether she keeps up with this promise, but it really does seem like her attitude and commitment to spanking has changed. I think part of it has to do with her being less stressed over a family situation.

Thanks again for the suggestion and the support from everyone. I'll keep you updated.

Tom

[GaryMcKee]

On 1/23/2022 at 10:27 AM, countspankulot said:

I did try this. We both talked about memorable spankings she gave me in the past and how it made us both feel. While they were great conversation, not much seemed to change. But lately, my wife has started to become much stricter and plans on giving me a punishment spanking in a couple of days (and every Tuesday) due to commitment I let go that is costing us money.

We'll see how it goes and whether she keeps up with this promise, but it really does seem like her attitude and commitment to spanking has changed. I think part of it has to do with her being less stressed over a family situation.

Thanks again for the suggestion and the support from everyone. I'll keep you updated.

Tom

I am very happy to learn of this positive shift in your wife’s perspective, Tom. Excellent! Yes, please keep us apprised. 🙌🏼

[countspankulot]

On 2/3/2022 at 2:17 PM, GaryMcKee said:

I am very happy to learn of this positive shift in your wife’s perspective, Tom. Excellent! Yes, please keep us apprised. 🙌🏼

Unfortunately, I don't have good news to report. After being adamant about spanking me on Tuesdays for letting go of an easy money making opportunity, the first Tuesday came and went without a spanking. She told me that it's not happening today, but "it IS going to happen."

That was a week and a half ago, and all the strict talk has disappeared as well. I guess she down shifted on her perspective.

[GaryMcKee]

18 hours ago, countspankulot said:

Unfortunately, I don't have good news to report. After being adamant about spanking me on Tuesdays for letting go of an easy money making opportunity, the first Tuesday came and went without a spanking. She told me that it's not happening today, but "it IS going to happen."

That was a week and a half ago, and all the strict talk has disappeared as well. I guess she down shifted on her perspective.

You may be surprised before long. Wives don’t forget, ever. I am optimistic for you! 

[countspankulot]

Thanks, Gary. That gives me hope.

Tom

[Chawsee]

@Donnyreid906 and @Subhub64: Welcome to the Male Spankee Support Group! This is a nice group and we're glad to have you guys join us. Please feel free to jump in and tell us a little about yourselves....  

[Chawsee]

@4HER2punish, @JonLds, @Ed_otk, and @Bnas-- Welcome to the group!  

[countspankulot]

Yes, welcome to all. Chawsee, Gary, and others have made this a very supportive space. Feel free to reach out to me as well. I enjoy discussing experiences, struggles, and feelings associated with being a male spankee.

@Bnas it looks like we are in the same area. I look forward to learning more about you.

[Spankher29]

Hello Everyone,

30M from the Capital Region of NY here. Anyone willing to share their experience of finding a female disciplinarian? I unfortunately have found the process to be extremely difficult.

[TidyWhitey]

Hello everyone, I think what I've done in the past is just give in and let guys spank me because I can't find a woman on earth that wants to do it. I mean I could pay for a chick to bend my butt over but I don't wanna do that. It's frustrating to say the least but I still hold out hope that someday, a chick will put me over her knee and let my bottom have it

 

Thanks for having me in your group.