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Real Name & Face

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I'm coming in a little late on this one, but it popped up in feed so why not. This subject you have to be very careful. When i ended up getting outted i Lost jobs, friends, even the roof over my head for a short while. All is calm now, i don't bother people and they don't bother me at all. The local people around the area know, its kind of hard not too, the walls are a bit thin but nobody ever says anything. I can tell by the way they act that they are not comfortable with it though.

I have to go to great lengths to protect EE's identities and even just non-spanko friends when they come over because of it, everyone always assumes that if they are here, they are into it too and that is definitely not the case. It's actually pretty rare for me to host because of it, i do host but it has to be done very carefully.

I have two live in EE's and they are attending college here in town, professor found out about their interests and started harassing them in class etc, they turned around a filed a sexual harassment claim against him and he no longer works there, the other students were shockingly supportive of them (really rare). I mean shockingly because they all basically rallied around the two girls and took a very tenured professor down hard.

For some being outted doesn't cause any grief, for others it does. Be careful!

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  • 6 months later...

When thinking about matters of this nature, which exude considerable appeal, I have to attempt to disable my emotions temporarily whilst deciding what to do and to rely purely on rational thinking, including the impact on loved ones who may not share this interest.

Powerful as the desire may be, does it warrant the very real risk of damage to real-life relationships, causing unnecessary distress?

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I would say it's an individual choice, according to your lifestyle/work/family, etc. I know people who have been outed, who lost custody of children from being outed, who lost jobs, etc. The risks are real. It depends on how much you have to lose.

I have very little family. I have no kids. I am self-employed. Most of my friends are kinked. Therefore, I have a lot less to lose. However, there are still stalkers out there, so I advise being careful about your full real name, your phone number, personal details that can be Googled.

I have always shown my face online. My real name is Erica. However, Scott is my scene pseudonym. Only those closest to me know my real last name.

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While it's true there are very few people I'd actually want to know about my interests, and the last thing I want to do is out myself...  Even if I was confident enough to talk about my spanking interests as casually as I talk about the weather... I don't like to use my real name and face on even vanilla public forums. Generic usernames and avatars wherever I go...  I don't need people looking me up or knowing my business, and anything that gets posted publicly online can easily be used against you... That stuff is permanent... So if I feel this way with normal vanilla forums about basic stuff like... hiking or something....  I'm definitely not going to start out on a spanking site... But that's just me personally

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am my own worst enemy with this. I absolutely do not want anyone in my RL other than my husband knowing I am a spanko for many reasons. I have too much to lose and I am easy to find. I have a public life.

 The problem is that I over share. I had a friend on Second Life who knew what I did for a living and what state I was in. I told him my real first name and in 15 minutes, he was able to tell me my last name, address, and the names of my family members. Now, he was a safe person whom I love and is now a RL friend (and our families are friends), but it alerted me that I needed to be more careful than I am.

Edited by brigitta
Darn typos!!
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  • 2 months later...

Now that I'm retired and too old to care what other people think it really doesn't concern me at all. If they found me on a spanking site then why are you asking me why I'm on there? You must like it like I do is the only thing I can come up with. 

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It's on a need-to-know basis. My relationship with spanking is a private thing, and there are very few people online who need to know my true identity. If you're looking to meet people out there, then I would get to know them before giving out any of that kind of information. I wouldn't trust anyone too pushy about it.

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