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Feeling like life is over


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Ever get that feeling that life is just...over? The best days well behind and not ahead? Ever find yourself thinking back to the past and wondering what made things so good then and what day did all that change? 

That's me. Everything is just joyless it seems. Nowadays, everything is so different. Nothing makes me smile anymore. 

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Hang in there, bud.  We’ve all been there.  I’ve probably been there more than most.  For me, my problems stemmed from alcohol.  There, I said it.  Not saying that you or anyone else has this problem, but I do, and I’ve made the decision that I’m changing my life.  Not more of that BS.  It’s not my friend.  So find whatever your enemy is and go to war against it.  Fight for yourself, even if it’s just against the depression that threatens to do you in.  I’ve dealt with plenty of that, too.   You’ve got this, man!

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You've had 15 more years on this earth than me. So far, all of you have, and most of you on this site have 10-15+ years on my age.

But, I've felt it myself.

The loathing that... it's all over, that the past is gone and tomorrow is just a downhill slope. Young or old, tomorrow is just going to be another step down the path and my peak is gone.

It took me much of my 20s to realize one thing, and through alot of help over the past 2 years I finally understand it. And I've found a way to begin at least working towards acting on it.

Tomorrow isn't another step down. Tomorrow is an opportunity to step up. Yes, times may be hard for some. Problems may exist... The good memories of yesterday are sweet and the uncertainty of tomorrow is terrifying and daunting.

But, As certainly as the sun may set, it rises tomorrow anew. And just because the pain is fresh, doesn't mean the end is here. There are many people, their voices broad and their lives vibrant, who share with us here and elsewhere, that it's not that you peaked.

It's what is the next peak for you. Every day we have the chance to reach new heights, even starting later in life. 30s? 40s? 60s? Hell, even in your 70s. 

Your life is only over, when you die. Until then, tomorrow awaits, and it just takes reaching out and overcoming the pressure to surface and rise above what is holding you down. I'd love to hear more (as well as everyone else) because you are not done, and there is a tomorrow for you, too.

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My brother and I were discussing this awhile back.  How things in the past seem so much better than now, how we were happier, and didn’t even realize how good things were.  But I’m sure thinking back on good times, there were struggles/stress etc, but some time periods were just so great, it is hard to imagine reaching that level of joy again.  We don’t know what joy the future holds.  Events such as loved ones passing away really does make this topic hit home for me.  I hope you feel happiness again soon. 

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When I've had that feeling (fortunately, not often) I think of the line by Jean-Paul Satre, the super existentialist: "What is life but an unnecessary interruption to the pleasantness of non-existence."  Feelings of despair; joylessness are often worse than serious physical pain. And one thing we can always count on is change. Nothing stays the same. Can make you wish you were never born. But dear spanko friend F/m, something wonderful could happen tomorrow. Hope you can hang-in there. It would be a shame if you missed something exciting that was unexpected.

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Happiness is not something that is out in the world. It comes from self satisfaction, acceptance and enjoying what is given to us, rather than longing for something we don't have.  It comes from the simple pleasures of life. Anytime I feel about complaining about what I don't have in my life, I immediately think about what I do have. A home to live, food on my plates even before I feel hunger, a job and good parents. There are millions and millions of people out there who don't have one, or more of these. Who am I to complain?

I'm young but an over thinker. I've had a number of nights thinking "Is it all for nothing?". I mean, we are born, we grow up, we get a job, we spend money on things we don't need, then die. Is that it? Pretty much it. But happiness is between all these moments of growing up, getting a job and so on. It's everywhere. We just need to be open minded enough to let the sore day pass and have hope that the better days are still ahead. A lot of us are so focused on the illusion of some utopian sort happiness that the future might hold for us  and we make the mistake of letting the every day moments slip by. 

 

I'm not sure if any of this makes any sense or if it is of any use to you. Nevertheless, what am trying to say is, you are alone. There are bitter days for sure, but just keep up the hope that there are better days ahead. You are probably not looking for advice, you just want someone to hear you out. I just want to say that hope is the only thing we got that will help us  pass through the bitter moments of life.

 

I hope you feel better soon. Take care.

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  • 6 months later...

When dark days like that come along, as they do for everybody, I just try to focus on the fact that I have no idea what is going to happen on any given day, outside of my diary plans, and past experience gives me some pleasant surprises on which to reflect optimistically.

I hope the daylight of optimism will breath through your cloud, F/m spanking only.

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On 8/3/2021 at 5:58 PM, Spankalogical said:

You've had 15 more years on this earth than me. So far, all of you have, and most of you on this site have 10-15+ years on my age.

But, I've felt it myself.

The loathing that... it's all over, that the past is gone and tomorrow is just a downhill slope. Young or old, tomorrow is just going to be another step down the path and my peak is gone.

It took me much of my 20s to realize one thing, and through alot of help over the past 2 years I finally understand it. And I've found a way to begin at least working towards acting on it.

Tomorrow isn't another step down. Tomorrow is an opportunity to step up. Yes, times may be hard for some. Problems may exist... The good memories of yesterday are sweet and the uncertainty of tomorrow is terrifying and daunting.

But, As certainly as the sun may set, it rises tomorrow anew. And just because the pain is fresh, doesn't mean the end is here. There are many people, their voices broad and their lives vibrant, who share with us here and elsewhere, that it's not that you peaked.

It's what is the next peak for you. Every day we have the chance to reach new heights, even starting later in life. 30s? 40s? 60s? Hell, even in your 70s. 

Your life is only over, when you die. Until then, tomorrow awaits, and it just takes reaching out and overcoming the pressure to surface and rise above what is holding you down. I'd love to hear more (as well as everyone else) because you are not done, and there is a tomorrow for you, too.

As someone even younger who feels like she can't handle life right now - thank you for this. It's great advice and so true

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  • 2 months later...

I’ve watched my days blur into a kaleidoscope of fragmented colors and all I can do is stumble from place to place - praying this will be a morning where I am lucky enough to step into a patch of clarity, and dwell for a time in the center of the storm of my life and feel peace. 
 

I’m approaching 12 months of illness and loss and uncertainty…but I know there are so many of us in worse predicaments and I feel wrong for even mentioning my troubles. All I can say is do not give in, and find those moments of grace and don’t let go.

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Wow, just saw this. I sincerely hope you’re in a better place now. I’m always available to talk, let me know and we’ll exchange emails/ phone whatever you want. Peace.

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