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On a scale of 1 to 10


johnsk

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is spanking to your relationship?  Would it survive if your partner  lost interest?

Also, your opinion, please. Are more male spouses than female spouses spanked by their partners?

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Agree with AG’s point. And quote Cheap Trick from ‘78... Ain’t that a shame…

And a point is basic concept of geometry so he must be right. 

And add a basic concept of SN. Need more female ER’s. Controlling types can easily pick up the ER skills. I believe many male EE’s would volunteer to participate in this training/certification. 

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There are definitely more female partners spanked than male partners. 

Spanking is very important to my relationship. It's the reason we met to begin with. I think it's a big part of who and what we are as people as well as partners. I know it wouldn't change my feelings for him if he lost interest. My love for him is far deeper than my need for spanking. That wouldn't end  the relationship for me. I would miss it though.

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i'd guess that a lot more males want and need a paddling than Women...and that it's more important to the males to receive the paddling than it would be to Women...

Since men are constantly on these kinds of forums seeking paddlings, it's likely that the men aren't getting paddled at home...

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Spanking is a 10 for me. My husband is a spanko Top, so it is hard to imagine him losing interest completely. But, while our marriage would probably survive, he would encourage me to meet others (and vice versa) if one of us became vanilla.

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13 hours ago, Naughtysparky said:

It’s a 10 for me to be the one taken in hand. Only issue is how to play with little hears. That makes okay so difficult we wouldn’t want to wake anyone with loud smacks, thuds or me blubbering. Thinking about looking into sound proofing our basement

Before we had our shed in the back sound proofed. it was difficult having to wait for the little one to be at practice or grandma's house to administer punishment. so totally worth it in my opinion.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I would absolutely stay with my Hubbs if he chose not to spank any more. We were "vanilla with twist" for the first 6yrs.  Now we are in a 24-7 D-s relationship, though I am a bit kinkier and have more energy for it than he does.  We have said from the beginning that the kink feeds off the marriage, not the marriage feeds off the kink.   That being said, if he decided to be vanilla he would encourage me to find other people to fulfil my kinks within certain agreed upon parameters.

If I had to start a new relationship I would look for someone kinky, preferably a spanko or someone into impact play at least.  I lived the first 37 yrs not exploring it, and I don't plan on wasting a lot more time going "maybe in my next life"

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I'm not in a relationship, but I'm determined that my next one will have a twist of spanko (to borrow @Megthe's phrasing, I'm vanilla with a twist!). I need someone who's willing to spank me, and I'd WAY prefer it to be someone who enjoys doing it. It's not so much fun when the enjoyment isn't really mutual.

But I have little to no interest in all other kinks, and I also like vanilla sex. So I'd need a partner who's with me on that count too.

On the gender question, I'm not party to other people's marriages and I'm not aware of any statistically solid research on the subject, so I can't say how many men are spanked by their spouses vs women. Seems like there's more chatter from female spankees on the internet than male ones, but that just reflects who's talking about it online. Women talk about anything online more than men do. There are significantly more female owned blogs than male owned ones, and when it comes to spanking blogs, the vast majority are by women. So does that mean there really are far fewer male spankees? Or does that just mean far fewer male spankees come online and talk about it?

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Spanking videos cater to both male and female as top or bottom. Female pro Disciplinarians are in every major city and apparently can make a 6 figure living even with competition. While female pros cater to male or female EEs, my understanding is their clientele is mostly male. 

Overall, I think both male and female regardless of EE or ER have similar struggle finding partners. Urge gets suppressed but then as JCM say “oh yeah life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone” …

So we sign on SN as the Green light at the end of Daisy’s dock looking for that next PM, chat message or Post. Sure many people have a wonderful arrangement but most/some see only the bespectacled eyes of the faded sign Dr TJ Eckleburg. 

 But suspect male or female, EE or ER most of us don’t or we did but back chasing against the tide that thrill between our ears. 

 

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On 8/21/2021 at 5:32 PM, Lotsapappa said:

Spanking videos cater to both male and female as top or bottom. Female pro Disciplinarians are in every major city and apparently can make a 6 figure living even with competition. While female pros cater to male or female EEs, my understanding is their clientele is mostly male. 

Overall, I think both male and female regardless of EE or ER have similar struggle finding partners. Urge gets suppressed but then as JCM say “oh yeah life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone” …

So we sign on SN as the Green light at the end of Daisy’s dock looking for that next PM, chat message or Post. Sure many people have a wonderful arrangement but most/some see only the bespectacled eyes of the faded sign Dr TJ Eckleburg. 

 But suspect male or female, EE or ER most of us don’t or we did but back chasing against the tide that thrill between our ears. 

 

Wow. John Cougar Mellencamp and Great Gatsby references in one post! Impressive.

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This is a soul searching question.  I hope I would continue with my husband even if he quit spanking and disciplining me. I love him for better or worse. I think I would be at a loss for awhile...maybe forever....lol. I would certainly have a hard time in the transition for sure...not sure I could just turn off what I believe has become a very real "need"....and I fear the possibility of lessened intimacy.   Butt....I would stay with my dear husband as long as he still wanted this freak I am...lol. I would probably ask him if he would consider bringing another strong man into our lives solely for the purpose of spanking me in his stead. No sex with this person...just see to my punishments and discipline at Husband's direction. I don't know...I hope Husband never ceases tan my hide.

Not sure my response to question 2.  I do not "get out there" like many here seem to....but it seems to me there may be more men spanked by women than women spanked by men.  Just a guess from a novice....lol.

 

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I see several lines of thinking here.

To answer the question posed specificaly, I would have to give a 4.

Reason: My last gf of 13 years, was vanilla.

So apparently I dont NEED spanking in my relationship. Or at least I didnt, past tense.

But I am trying to make sure that my next gf is a nice and naughty girl. ?

We have a few other sub plots going on here. Such as men or women  etc

My view is that there are a lot more submissive men than there are submissive women. If you are a sub male looking for a loving yet stern "Mommy", good luck. The waiting line goes around the block.

Women in general have a much easier time finding men. Even if they are fat or ugly, which kind of amazes me.

I think that most men are submissive towards females. Which is good. Teaches them devotion. And most women, vanilla or not, seek out submissive men. (obviously).  Most women dislike dominant males. In fact, in reality, most husbands are sex slaves. Call it what you will.

As an additional observation, even tho I am a straight top, I have had many friends in female led relationships/homes. The "Mommies" are invariably VERY strict with thier boys. And all the boys flat out adore thier Gf's/wives! Women are natural disciplinarians. If you want your butt blistered good, find a woman. You will not be disappointed!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Confused 1
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On 8/30/2021 at 9:43 AM, HeartnBottomWarmer said:

I see several lines of thinking here.

To answer the question posed specificaly, I would have to give a 4.

Reason: My last gf of 13 years, was vanilla.

So apparently I dont NEED spanking in my relationship. Or at least I didnt, past tense.

But I am trying to make sure that my next gf is a nice and naughty girl. ?

We have a few other sub plots going on here. Such as men or women  etc

My view is that there are a lot more submissive men than there are submissive women. If you are a sub male looking for a loving yet stern "Mommy", good luck. The waiting line goes around the block.

Women in general have a much easier time finding men. Even if they are fat or ugly, which kind of amazes me.

I think that most men are submissive towards females. Which is good. Teaches them devotion. And most women, vanilla or not, seek out submissive men. (obviously).  Most women dislike dominant males. In fact, in reality, most husbands are sex slaves. Call it what you will.

As an additional observation, even tho I am a straight top, I have had many friends in female led relationships/homes. The "Mommies" are invariably VERY strict with thier boys. And all the boys flat out adore thier Gf's/wives! Women are natural disciplinarians. If you want your butt blistered good, find a woman. You will not be disappointed!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I couldn't disagree with some of this more, specifically that "most men are submissive," that women are natural disciplinarians, and that there a lot more submissive men than submissive women. 

To answer the O.P.'s question, spanking has gone from something like a 4 for me in my past, to a 9 or 10 currently. I don't foresee it fading into the background again either.

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It's around a 9.

If I found someone with whom I was in deep rapport and marched in lockstep when it came to values that just wasn't into it, neither giving nor receiving, then I suppose I could let spanking go. But it would be tough. At the very least, I would need someone who was not just willing but interested in listening to me talk about it from time to time because this is a core part of who I am. Someone who viewed it with distaste making it clear they didn't want anything to do with my fetish, perhaps pretending that it wasn't there or interpreting the occasional mention as pestering, would be very hard to be with. I can't imagine such a relationship lasting unless there was some strong sense of duty motivating me to stick around, e.g. kids, someone needing health insurance coverage, etc. And that's a pretty compromised relationship at best.

Also I can't imagine that there's more men than women spanked by their partners. Here's one small piece of evidence. Many years ago the Disciplinary Wives Club website had a personals section. There were dozens of men listed and two women. Is this conclusive evidence? No, I don't think you'll find indisputable evidence, but it's an indicator. Keep in mind, many women contributed and posted personals to the Taken In Hand website when it was up.

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