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There's a method of spanking I've employed over the years which I call the "Three M Method" which I've found to be quite successful so I wanted to share it with you.

Imagine three levels of spanking: Minor, Moderate, and Major. These are separate tiers with different levels of severity. These are not concrete categories, however, you will determine certain benchmarks to help guide you when aiming for a particular tier. For example, here are some I've used:

  • Time: You double the time as you go up. A minor spanking is very brief. A moderate spanking is double in length, while a major spanking is double that.
  • Results: Color, Heat, Tears. A minor spanking ends when the buttocks has completely been flushed pink (color). A moderate spanking ends when the buttocks is hot to the touch (heat), and a major spanking often ends in tears.'
  • Soreness: A sore bottom is felt either a few minutes (minor), a few hours (moderate), or all day (major).
  • These are just some examples you could use, but you can come up with your own metrics so long as they are clear, easy to identify, and make sense in practice.

Once you have clear categories and benchmarks in your head, this is what you do. Just like any other disciplinary system, you will spank them when they do something wrong. However, the type of spanking they get in that situation will depend on their overall behavior over time. You will communicate with them what standards of behavior you expect of them and want to see, and you will note to yourself how well they've been at achieving those standards. If they have generally been great at meeting or even exceeding expectations, they are "Well-Behaved." If they generally do an ok job but sometimes fall short, they are "Averagely-Behaved." Lastly, if they consistently are running into trouble with meeting expectations, then they are "Badly-Behaved." When they do something wrong and a spanking is warranted, these are your guidelines for what kind of spanking they should get:

  • Well-Behaved. A well-behaved person will mostly receive just a minor spanking, sometimes if needed a moderate spanking, but never receive a major spanking.
  • Average. An average behaving person will sometimes receive just a minor spanking, mostly receive a moderate spanking, and sometimes if needed a major spanking.
  • Badly-Behaved. A badly-behaved person will never receive a minor spanking, will sometimes receive a moderate spanking, but will mostly receive a major spanking.

Using these guidelines, you then spank them appropriately depending on the needs of the situation. You can even use your discretion as leverage in conversation. For example, an average person has earned themselves a moderate spanking, and has started talking back to you, you can respond "Do you want to make this a major one?" or "if you help me with the dishes, I can reduce it to a minor one." After the end of the spanking, you note their misbehavior and account for it in their overall behavior going forward. Rinse and repeat.

Why do I like this system?

  • Consistency: It gives clear parameters for both you and the spankee on what is expected and what consequences will result. Spanking and behavior has a lot of variables and if things change too wildly between transgressions then it can be hard to clearly get a message across. By reducing spanking to clear categories and benchmarks, it becomes easier to be consistent in punishment which is very important.
  • Short Term and Long Term: It allows you to address one's behavior both in the immediate situation as well as their behavior over time. It rewards their good behavior and keeps them accountable for continued bad behavior, leading to better personal development. Oftentimes we may lose track of the bigger picture and overly punish in one-off bad instances or under-punish for repeated transgressions. This system takes into account short term and long term behavior.
  • Discretion: It gives you discretion in the situation to adjust, encourage, or discourage further behavior or cooperation.

I've really found a lot of success in this system, I'm hoping to hear your thoughts. Is there anything you would change?

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I like the ideas, you've definitely given this a lot of thought.

Anything less than a "Moderate" spanking, by your definition, doesn't count as a spanking at all, by my definition.

Any given session might also proceed to the "Major" level, depending on the needs of the spankee.

Good stuff, thanks for sharing.


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Those benchmarks were just suggestions. It would change from person to person, and you could make a moderate spanking more in line with what you're thinking. Can you give me examples of what benchmarks you would use?

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I like these guidelines. I've never EVER been spanked so meeting a spanker who had the same guidelines as the ones stated would be ideal for me. I can understand to some people like Gator mentioned above that a minor spankings are not spankings. Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm guessing because of the higher lever of pain tolerance. Myself, I'd definitely want a minor initially and gradually work my way up. I also understand the levels (the 3 M's) would be based on how the ER perceives minor, moderate, and major to feel so the ERs minor may feel like a moderate to me. Good post! A lot to take into consideration.

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As an EE, I prefer a much looser format - nothing so regimented or clinical. I firmly believe that spanking is not rocket science and it does not require a bevy of requirements / procedures / guidelines. It does require open communication. I wouldn't like feeling pigeon-holed into the ER's methodology; I greatly prefer when a spanking flows well and feels natural. 

*These are just my opinions regarding my own interests and why this type of thing is not for me... every spanko is different and we should do what works for us and our partners. I think it is awesome you shared this with us. 

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I think the three levels of intensity described by @TammyG make a lot of sense. the section on RESULTS is interesting - as a spanker, I can definitely judge the color of the cheeks and how hot they are to the touch. I can't control nor predict what will trigger tears.  everything will depend on the reaction of the spankee, and there's no such thing as a cookie-cutter spanking, for sure. 

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