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For the Male EE’s


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If you are involved in a domestic discipline dynamic where real issues and behaviors are resolved by visiting with the Paddle, do you ever receive your spanking after a sexual release?  Is there some reason why this would not be a good practice, especially when the focus is punishment 

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12 hours ago, NewEr said:

If you are involved in a domestic discipline dynamic where real issues and behaviors are resolved by visiting with the Paddle, do you ever receive your spanking after a sexual release?  Is there some reason why this would not be a good practice, especially when the focus is punishment 

Speaking as a switch.  Yes, I have experienced this and honestly it is something that should be reserved for unusual punishments.  I understand the desire to eliminate any erotic aspect of the punishment, but it is a practice that is pretty harsh to a male EE and should not be overused.  After all, if it became a common expectation it loses it's value as a threat.

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Since You’ve mentioned this before, Ms. NewEr, it sounds like You want to try it, and maybe You should try it. i agree that You may wish to reserve it for special occasions. Although i can’t comment on how well a punishment paddling right after a release may correct behavior, i can offer a few perspectives from my viewpoint. Keep in mind, though, that a punishment paddling with all excitement entirely removed may result in resentment rather than in remedying behavior, if that is Your only reason to paddle.

As indicated above, a paddling on a male right after a release intensifies and multiplies the effect. Without doubt, Your spankee will focus on the punishment after a release. Though i've never experienced this, i'm certain it's true. After a release, i have no desire whatever for any kind of spanking or paddling (or anything!). Still, i'd like to submit to it under the right circumstances (which are evermore unlikely!!!). 

The ideal circumstances would include someone who has quite seriously applied paddles and straps to me on several occasions. W/we would have established an approach and an outcome. Surely i would know what the paddling sessions feel like, emotionally and physically. Then, we would both agree, as an experiment, that a paddling and strapping session should take place immediately after a release. We would both commit to that, and having committed to it, neither of us would back out. 

The release would be embarrassing, humbling, and maybe even a tad humiliating. After the release, i would really not want to submit to the paddling. We would have agreed that the session will be just as serious as the previous sessions, and a bit more and a bit longer than previous sessions. Having committed to the experiment, neither of us would back out--we would go through with it--completely. (On the other hand, i could still consider a paddling after a release, even without the ideal circumstances and history described above.)

i think the experiment would indicate how much the paddling really hurts, how serious it really is, and how committed we (the paddler and i) are to paddling. i'd like to know how both of us felt afterward, and how it was different than other sessions. my guess is that i wouldn't want to repeat the experiment very soon afterward. i'd prefer to endure a similar, or increased, session to compare the two emotionally and physically, during and afterward -- for a similar paddling and strapping.

i have a deep-seated need for serious paddling, day in and day out. In that context, i'd appreciate the opportunity to have to submit to the paddling even at that moment when i'd have no interest in it. i'd be submitting to a paddling quite similar to others i would have received previously, although slightly increased to ensure that it was not less than previous sessions. So, although physically it would be quite similar, i think i would feel different physically and emotionally. i'm curious what it would feel like and how well i could submit, and how much additional persuasion the paddler would need to provide to get me to the end.

i feel like i submit to paddling and strapping, but after a “release,”, i'd need a significantly higher level of submission than without the release. It would be a challenge, and afterward, i'd likely be glad i met the challenge and learned the differences between the two settings. For me, allowing, or asking, someone to paddle me and cause significant distress, all the while i'm completely undressed and vulnerable while the paddler is completely clothed, requires that i submit--a lot. Accepting how much it hurts requires a lot of submitting. So, imagine the level of submitting after the "release!"

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Ammon thank you for the thoughtful response.  I have just given him a spanking this evening he will be getting two more tonight.  I tried to focus more on scolding and he was practically in tears after a few swats!  I explained to him that we are going to follow through and short of his safe word I will be administering his punishment as planned.  
 

Initially I told him his last spanking would be post release in the diaper position with his light leather paddle.  Although very light it quickly gets my point across using this method.

For the most part he was very good listened, stayed bent over on his spanking stand, etc.  He has often requested to be secured in place, which I use sparingly and only after excessive movement and, Not listening.

 

I am thinking the combination of serious scolding and paddling seems to be working quite well.  So I may hold off on having him release provided that he behaves during his punishment.

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11 hours ago, NewEr said:

Ammon thank you for the thoughtful response.  I have just given him a spanking this evening he will be getting two more tonight.  I tried to focus more on scolding and he was practically in tears after a few swats!  I explained to him that we are going to follow through and short of his safe word I will be administering his punishment as planned.  
 

Initially I told him his last spanking would be post release in the diaper position with his light leather paddle.  Although very light it quickly gets my point across using this method.

For the most part he was very good listened, stayed bent over on his spanking stand, etc.  He has often requested to be secured in place, which I use sparingly and only after excessive movement and, Not listening.

 

I am thinking the combination of serious scolding and paddling seems to be working quite well.  So I may hold off on having him release provided that he behaves during his punishment.

This seems like a good plan.  You want that threat hanging out there that he is going to get the post-orgasm spanking.  It is best not over used.  Give him one taste of it once in a great while when he really messes up and he will know you are serious when you threaten him with that consequence.

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As much as I'm into the idea of making a punishment more serious to "fit the offence". I find the whole "relieve yourself first to make it less sexual" thing a massive waste of time. 

Spanking is inherently sexual and you can't really do anything to change that. Even if they don't enjoy it in the moment, then they will be turned on by it the next time they feel aroused. I'd also be concerned that it would take the EE out of the headspace that they need to be in for the session to have its desired effect.

Of course, it's totally valid if it's something you want to to. But or me, I find it better if the focus of discipline is on therapy and release rather than making it a punishment that you don't want to repeat. So I'm more on the using your scolding to make it an experience not to be forgotten. 

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It's not a thing I want again. My wife only uses this for serious punishment and thankfully she only made me pull myself before a paddling once. I dread the day that I stuff up seriously again and have to stand before her naked and releave myself before bending over for the dreaded paddle.

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8 hours ago, Redwombutt said:

It's not a thing I want again. My wife only uses this for serious punishment and thankfully she only made me pull myself before a paddling once. I dread the day that I stuff up seriously again and have to stand before her naked and releave myself before bending over for the dreaded paddle.

So it seems like it is in fact a very effective tool in ones tool box.  After his last spanking I was very pleased with the results.  The combination of scolding. corner time and lecturing during his punishment seems to have done the trick.  

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Your question was directed to male EEs, so hopefully I'm not out of bounds tossing in my two cents. I'm in agreement with @Am123. What he said was spot-on. I spank men exclusively, and I would never request their sexual release before disciplining them. To each his own, but personally, I think this practice is cruel. 

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4 hours ago, Chawsee said:

Your question was directed to male EEs, so hopefully I'm not out of bounds tossing in my two cents. I'm in agreement with @Am123. What he said was spot-on. I spank men exclusively, and I would never request their sexual release before disciplining them. To each his own, but personally, I think this practice is cruel. 

It is cruel.  It is occasionally effective as part of a serious punishment.

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19 hours ago, Chawsee said:

Your question was directed to male EEs, so hopefully I'm not out of bounds tossing in my two cents. I'm in agreement with @Am123. What he said was spot-on. I spank men exclusively, and I would never request their sexual release before disciplining them. To each his own, but personally, I think this practice is cruel. 

A voice of reason.  Finally.

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 7/8/2021 at 7:46 AM, Spank_that_ass said:

It is cruel.  It is occasionally effective as part of a serious punishment.

Cruelty is often effective.  People who refrain from cruelty don’t do so because cruelty isn’t effective.  They refrain from it because they value the humanity other people.  

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  • 3 weeks later...

I completely disagree that being made to have an orgasm right before being spanked in "cruelty" . . . I also disagree that it is a "waste of time" (as one individual put it),  and that spankings are erotic and there is no getting around it.  Let me explain:

Back in the early 1990's I asked my wife to start spanking me.  She was (and still is) vanilla and only agree to do it because she realized the idea of being spanked wasn't a "phase" that would eventually pass.  So, we agree to see if spankings could be used to curb a few behavioral issues I thought we should address.  The problem however, was that since I seemed to enjoy being spanked, (and indeed found it erotic), how could it possibly be an effective punishment and deterrent?  The answer was quite simple.  About 6 months into her spanking me on a regular basis (about once a week; mostly "maintenance" spankings, just to help keep me on an even keel so to speak) she decided it would be a good idea to try remove the erotic element and make being spanked anything but enjoyable.  To that end, she adopted a technique that she only had to use for a few months and it completely changed the way I responded to being spanked:

She used to spank me at 5:30 in the morning shortly after she got up to get ready for work.  One morning instead of setting up her spanking chair and putting me over her knee, she instead, sat down in her chair, placed a small hand towel over her lap, and said matter-of-factly, "I want you to bring your self to orgasm. "  I was stunned by her request, but she wasn't taking no for an answer, and since she still had to shower, do her make-up, etc., she also wasn't going to get into a long discussion over it either.  So, standing directly in front of her, I began playing with myself.  It was awkward and more than a little embarrassing, and I wasn't very getting far.  At one point, she barked, "Let's go, you can do better than that! I don't have all day . . ."  Her tone of voice made it clear she was already loosing patience with what she perceived as a lackluster effort on my behalf.  I asked if she could "help" but she flatly refused; just sat there with her arms crossed, paddle on her lap next to the hand towel.  She could see I was trying to weasel my way out of it, but was having none of it.  "Stop dawdling or your spanking will be worse."  

Needless to say, I stepped up the pace and brought myself to orgasm.  At which point she neatly folded up the towel, tossed it on the floor beside her, and told me to get over her knee.  Obviously, I was now void of an erection, and the thought of being spanked was the farthest thing from my mind.  The very first swat of her paddle was absolutely dreadful.  I couldn't believe how much it hurt!  Fortunately, those early morning spankings only lasted a few minutes, but this one had me swimming almost immediately.  I remember her commenting on how "easy" it was to spank me after I had orgasmed.

She only used this technique for a few months . . . That's all it took to re-program the way I viewed being spanked.  She had pretty much removed the erotic element, and her spankings became much more effective.  One final note here.  On one occasion during that period, I had used some rather salty language (with a  female next door neighbor no less) and she decided a mouth soaping was in order.  For that particular spanking she lodged a bar of soap in my mouth before placing the little hand towel on her lap and ordering me to bring myself to orgasm.  That bar of soap stayed put for not only the spanking itself, but for my stint in the corner as well.  Lesson learned the hard way . . . and you better believe I apologized to that neighbor in front of my wife.

 

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Spankorbespanked, I believe your wife was on to something!  I had only had to do this once over the past month!  And I must say his behavior was stellar afterwards for the longest time.  I can say that he was very clearly focused on his punishment, and it took very little effort on my part to teach the required lesson.

 

 

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