Jump to content
Spanking Needs Forums

Getting spanked by a man?


Recommended Posts

This is more intended for guys. As I am a man. Straight so I do not want anything sexual. But I have considered getting spanked by a guy. And I know a guy who is willing to do it. What should I know before hand? I know about discussing limits. Just not exactly sure how I feel about getting spanked by another man... I have thought about it many times. But often feel like I might regret it for some reason.

Link to post

Mr. Cavsalltheway, since you've been posting about accepting a spanking from a guy for quite awhile, i think it's safe and accurate to say that you definitely want it. But should you do it? Only you can decide. We can tell you pros and cons, encourage safety, and cite numerous experiences. i've thought about responding previously, but this can be a touchy subject--and you are clear evidence of that. Apparently, you wonder what you really are, and what others may think of you if males spank or paddle you. i think you need to resolve those things for yourself. SN has had, over the years, many, many threads on males spanking males--please try to go through the General Forum history and check them out. i'm not sure, maybe you want us to reassure you that you are normal, or heterosexual, even if a male spanks you.

i prefer that Women paddle me. i prefer Women nurses. i prefer Women dental hygienists. i really prefer Women massage therapists. Since most of my massages have been at a school for massage therapy, i often don't have much of a choice of what gender the therapist will be. Thankfully, >90 percent have been Women. However, 2-3 (or maybe more?) have been males. i would have preferred Women, and been more at ease with Women. However, the gentlemen provided a massage, and nothing more. And, i didn't end up wanting anything more. i think you'll find spanking is similar. After many, many years of pursuing a paddling, i decided to accept the possibility of paddling from males. Although i'd prefer Women paddlers, what do you think the odds are, realistically? So, a few men have paddled me, and the paddlings have been helpful.

You've stated that romantically and sexually, you are heterosexual and not interested in men. You've declared that men don't attract you, except maybe for a spanking. Guess what? Getting a spanking isn't going to change that. From what you say, you do not have same sex attraction. 

So, as you said, discuss limits. The man who spanks you may be heterosexual, bisexual, or gay. Be clear that you are heterosexual, and that all sexual activities are off-limits. Take time to get acquainted with your potential spanker(s), and make sure they are honest. Remember, the vast majority of heterosexual men love Women, but we do not go around raping Women. Obviously, that is a great danger for Women, and many suffer that trauma. But the vast majority of us aren't rapists. So, i'm conjecturing, but i'd guess that most bisexual or gay men also are not going to rape you. i'm guessing that most will respect your limits. Beyond that, you need to know beforehand what your limits are, and stick to them. Someone may invite you to do something outside of your limits, but your answer will be an emphatic "NO." Keep your legs together. 

So, know your limits, discuss them, and stand by them. Plan an exit strategy, just in case somehow you are in a compromising situation. Leave some message, somewhere or with someone, where you are and what to do if you don't return by a certain time. The forums have lots of safety advice, and you should consider it. Don't allow restraints--that could put you in danger. Get a general idea or schematic of how the session is going to go, and what to expect. Discuss how long and hard the paddling should be, and when it should stop (such as with blisters, listlessness, or when you ask to stop). Use a safeword and call it off if it's beyond your limits. Make sure you are comfortable with the way the spanker would like to conduct the session, and that you are comfortable with him, and that he respects you as a person and civilly. Be aware of your surroundings. Check out the neighborhood either in Google or by visiting it before your session. You may wish to drop hints that someone knows where you are. Learn what you can about the spanker--his career, his family, his hobbies. Agree that both of you will remain totally discrete about the spanking.

i hope that answers a few questions about what you should know before you go to a session. Also, realize that you will be scared. That's natural, because you're going somewhere to get undressed, get into vulnerable positions, be embarrassed, and get spanked. You might be very scared. Your legs may feel rubbery. But if you've done your homework and prepared mentally, you can go through with the spanking. If you have a gut feeling that something isn't right, stop, get out...don't get involved. If you get past all of that, and if you tell him you want a serious or hard or long paddling (instead of just a spanking), realize that it's going to hurt more than you ever could have imagined. Prepare mentally. On the other hand, if you just want to start with a spanking to see how it goes, that is fine, too. And, when you get home, you will be sore, but more than likely, you'll be glad you had the opportunity. You may decide to never do it again, or you may decide that it could be a possibility again.

You said you know a guy willing to spank you. What are you waiting for? If he meets the qualifications above, perhaps you should seriously consider the spanking. Though i've had very, very few opportunities (i also don't look much), i don't think it's that unusual that guys spank each other for one reason or another (fraternities, birthdays, sports, fun, friendship). i really doubt that it's common, but i've heard of it. So, you know a willing guy? i'd guess that hundreds of guys on this forum wish they had such a friend or acquaintance. 

Instead of posting question after question about whether you should let a guy spank you, consider going through with it, and then coming back here to tell us about your experience and what you learned. Decide what is right for you, be safe, and don't look back--whatever you decide. Lastly, assess the risks and be sure you are ready to face them, whether you decide yay or nay. 

  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1
Link to post

I've known from a very early age that spanking was something special in my life. When I was whacked at school I couldn't understand why it wasn't the pleasant experience that I had envisaged.  I now realise that it was because corporal punishment was generally only administered by male teachers. I got my first spanking from the Headmaster at the age of 11 so too early in life for any real sexual connotation but wanting to get it from a female must have been there, somewhere in my subconscious. As an adult I've only been spanked/caned by females and don't even feel comfortable at spanking parties etc. when males are looking on. We all have our quirks.

 

Link to post

Just my two cents worth, but I truely believe this... The only things you regret in life is the things you did not do or try. Just saying in this case, I cannot see where it would cause you any permanent damage, as you are an adult, and have an interest or need for this. I say give it a try, if it works for you..... you can move forward with it...... if not.... at least you know.... and will not have to regret never knowing. Of course you still have to follow the normal safety and communications protocols to be safe. Good luck no matter what you decide

 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to post

Everything has been covered by the above posters so I can't add anything new except to say I perfer woman, but have had a man spank me about 3x and he knows how I feel, that I am super straight and nothing bad has happened.  The only draw back has been that he can spank WAY to hard at times! 

  • Thanks 1
Link to post

It is clear to me that you want to explore this, so do so (carefully).

I've only ever been corrected by other straight males* and wouldn't want it any other way.

 

*apart from occasional smacks in childhood

  • Thanks 1
Link to post

Communication communication communication ah did I say communication? You indicate that you do not want anything sexual, but what is his motivation for giving you a spanking? Not that there are not any out there but for some men there will be a sexual component.  I would just be sure that he is on the same page as you are and there are clear boundaries set.

 

  • Like 1
Link to post

I was only spanked by women for years before my first time with a man. I did it more out of desperation but it ended up being a very positive experience and a game changer for me. I still love it from women, but there's a vibe with a man that i found very appealing. I like my spankings straight with no sex anyway so male or female im fine with it if we're otherwise compatible. 

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
On 5/20/2021 at 12:58 AM, ammon said:

Mr. Cavsalltheway, since you've been posting about accepting a spanking from a guy for quite awhile, i think it's safe and accurate to say that you definitely want it. But should you do it? Only you can decide. We can tell you pros and cons, encourage safety, and cite numerous experiences. i've thought about responding previously, but this can be a touchy subject--and you are clear evidence of that. Apparently, you wonder what you really are, and what others may think of you if males spank or paddle you. i think you need to resolve those things for yourself. SN has had, over the years, many, many threads on males spanking males--please try to go through the General Forum history and check them out. i'm not sure, maybe you want us to reassure you that you are normal, or heterosexual, even if a male spanks you.

i prefer that Women paddle me. i prefer Women nurses. i prefer Women dental hygienists. i really prefer Women massage therapists. Since most of my massages have been at a school for massage therapy, i often don't have much of a choice of what gender the therapist will be. Thankfully, >90 percent have been Women. However, 2-3 (or maybe more?) have been males. i would have preferred Women, and been more at ease with Women. However, the gentlemen provided a massage, and nothing more. And, i didn't end up wanting anything more. i think you'll find spanking is similar. After many, many years of pursuing a paddling, i decided to accept the possibility of paddling from males. Although i'd prefer Women paddlers, what do you think the odds are, realistically? So, a few men have paddled me, and the paddlings have been helpful.

You've stated that romantically and sexually, you are heterosexual and not interested in men. You've declared that men don't attract you, except maybe for a spanking. Guess what? Getting a spanking isn't going to change that. From what you say, you do not have same sex attraction. 

So, as you said, discuss limits. The man who spanks you may be heterosexual, bisexual, or gay. Be clear that you are heterosexual, and that all sexual activities are off-limits. Take time to get acquainted with your potential spanker(s), and make sure they are honest. Remember, the vast majority of heterosexual men love Women, but we do not go around raping Women. Obviously, that is a great danger for Women, and many suffer that trauma. But the vast majority of us aren't rapists. So, i'm conjecturing, but i'd guess that most bisexual or gay men also are not going to rape you. i'm guessing that most will respect your limits. Beyond that, you need to know beforehand what your limits are, and stick to them. Someone may invite you to do something outside of your limits, but your answer will be an emphatic "NO." Keep your legs together. 

So, know your limits, discuss them, and stand by them. Plan an exit strategy, just in case somehow you are in a compromising situation. Leave some message, somewhere or with someone, where you are and what to do if you don't return by a certain time. The forums have lots of safety advice, and you should consider it. Don't allow restraints--that could put you in danger. Get a general idea or schematic of how the session is going to go, and what to expect. Discuss how long and hard the paddling should be, and when it should stop (such as with blisters, listlessness, or when you ask to stop). Use a safeword and call it off if it's beyond your limits. Make sure you are comfortable with the way the spanker would like to conduct the session, and that you are comfortable with him, and that he respects you as a person and civilly. Be aware of your surroundings. Check out the neighborhood either in Google or by visiting it before your session. You may wish to drop hints that someone knows where you are. Learn what you can about the spanker--his career, his family, his hobbies. Agree that both of you will remain totally discrete about the spanking.

i hope that answers a few questions about what you should know before you go to a session. Also, realize that you will be scared. That's natural, because you're going somewhere to get undressed, get into vulnerable positions, be embarrassed, and get spanked. You might be very scared. Your legs may feel rubbery. But if you've done your homework and prepared mentally, you can go through with the spanking. If you have a gut feeling that something isn't right, stop, get out...don't get involved. If you get past all of that, and if you tell him you want a serious or hard or long paddling (instead of just a spanking), realize that it's going to hurt more than you ever could have imagined. Prepare mentally. On the other hand, if you just want to start with a spanking to see how it goes, that is fine, too. And, when you get home, you will be sore, but more than likely, you'll be glad you had the opportunity. You may decide to never do it again, or you may decide that it could be a possibility again.

You said you know a guy willing to spank you. What are you waiting for? If he meets the qualifications above, perhaps you should seriously consider the spanking. Though i've had very, very few opportunities (i also don't look much), i don't think it's that unusual that guys spank each other for one reason or another (fraternities, birthdays, sports, fun, friendship). i really doubt that it's common, but i've heard of it. So, you know a willing guy? i'd guess that hundreds of guys on this forum wish they had such a friend or acquaintance. 

Instead of posting question after question about whether you should let a guy spank you, consider going through with it, and then coming back here to tell us about your experience and what you learned. Decide what is right for you, be safe, and don't look back--whatever you decide. Lastly, assess the risks and be sure you are ready to face them, whether you decide yay or nay. 

Thanks for all that. You make good points. He is not the closest. And I dont know him great but we have talked quite a few times and I have talked to others who have met him. They say he gives out a real father like spanking. 

I would rather meet with women but cannot find any women spanker around my area.

Link to post
35 minutes ago, Cavsalltheway23 said:

I do worry that I might end up not liking it all. Its hard for me to see myself comfortably with a guy doing anything.

Then I would pass. I want to get spanked by a woman. I love getting spanked by men, but I want to be spanked by a woman, too. If you feel uncomfortable, then don't bother to try it. 

That being said... I still think you should give it a go because you have talked about it a few times and something about it obviously appeals to you or intrigues you. If it is just because you are desperate for a spanking, though... and any hand will do... well, I don't think that is fair to either party. 

  • Like 2
Link to post
1 hour ago, Cavsalltheway23 said:

Thanks for all that. You make good points. He is not the closest. And I dont know him great but we have talked quite a few times and I have talked to others who have met him. They say he gives out a real father like spanking. 

I would rather meet with women but cannot find any women spanker around my area.

 

58 minutes ago, Cavsalltheway23 said:

I do worry that I might end up not liking it all. Its hard for me to see myself comfortably with a guy doing anything.

Thanks, Mr. Cavsalltheway. i hope we've provided some helpful suggestions. If you've talked with him several times already, and you have references from others, likely you have a comfort level and know enough to decide if he is an acceptable spanker for you. i'd guess that most men who get paddlings from men do so because like you, they cannot find Women to spank them, and finally decide to try it. The spanking need can be very compelling, and often overrides our preference in partners. 

So, you are concerned that you won't like it at all? hmmmm.... a few thoughts about that:

1. You won't know for sure until you try it whether it's acceptable to you, and if you don't try it, you will always wonder. However, you should be comfortable enough with the situation that it doesn't make you nauseous or feel it's revolting. If you feel nauseous about it or that it's revolting, now is not the time. Really, at 26, you are quite young, and if you aren't ready for it now, that doesn't mean you are ruling it out for the next 60 years.

2. If you end up not liking it at all, i'd say that would be great! Then, you will know you don't like it, and maybe you won't need to look for it any more. i wish i didn't need paddling in my life! That brings up another consideration and suggestion--if you can live without this, and if you haven't started down the spanking path, personally i strongly recommend that you avoid it entirely. The need for paddling has been a serious obstacle for me all of my life, and i'd prefer that you and others didn't have to live with this setback. Although a very serious paddling answers an ongoing need for me, it's been a plague for me. i'd say, stay away from it if you can, because it could be addictive.

3. As you read the forums, you will see that lots of people engage in spanking for fun and enjoyment. For many others, though, a paddling is not pleasurable, it's not enjoyable, it's not fun, and we don't like it. It can be scary. It may really, really hurt. In spite of all that, and as crazy as it sounds and is, some really, really  need a paddling, and so we pursue it, maybe relentlessly. Liking a paddling may not be the reason we submit to a paddling, but again, if you don't like it, maybe you can give it up. i wish i could give it up!

4. If you seek a paddling for punishment, you don't need to be comfortable having a guy do it. And, you will probably find that it's a paddling, and not much more. You may acquire a new friend, and if he's a good person and good for you, that would be positive. If he's not a good person--stay away!

You mentioned that it's a father-like spanking, and many seek exactly that. Make sure you're comfortable with that dynamic. i may be rare, but i would never want that kind of dynamic. If you are okay with it, though, you have another reason to meet this gentleman.

Mr. Cavsalltheway, we wish you the best. We wish you success in your journey.

  • Like 1
Link to post

You seem super conflicted between willing to accept a spanking from anyone and not feeling comfortable with a guy. I might wait until that balance had shifted significantly. Being weirded out and going through with something anyway isn't generally a formula for a great experience.

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
On 5/21/2021 at 10:16 AM, rubyredd said:

Then I would pass. I want to get spanked by a woman. I love getting spanked by men, but I want to be spanked by a woman, too. If you feel uncomfortable, then don't bother to try it. 

That being said... I still think you should give it a go because you have talked about it a few times and something about it obviously appeals to you or intrigues you. If it is just because you are desperate for a spanking, though... and any hand will do... well, I don't think that is fair to either party. 

That is why I have passed in the past. But I think its the spanking itself that intrigues me. But it might just be the thought of being spanked. I am a switch but have no desire to spank men just women.

Link to post
16 minutes ago, Cavsalltheway23 said:

That is why I have passed in the past. But I think its the spanking itself that intrigues me. But it might just be the thought of being spanked. I am a switch but have no desire to spank men just women.

Then I think you should just wait until you can meet with a woman to be spanked. If it doesn't excite you (not necessarily sexually, but mentally or emotionally), then pass on the M/M experience.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to post
On 5/21/2021 at 12:11 PM, OhRedhead said:

You seem super conflicted between willing to accept a spanking from anyone and not feeling comfortable with a guy. I might wait until that balance had shifted significantly. Being weirded out and going through with something anyway isn't generally a formula for a great experience.

I just feel like the whole thing would end up being upcomfortable/awkward. Something about women I just feel more comfortable around in general.

 

I think it might just be the willingness to submit. As a man I think we naturally try to  always be tough. We try not show a weak side. We are very competitive whether it be who is faster,stronger,bigger,tougher, etc. We are always competing almost like who is top dog. I use do some boxing and MMA when I was younger. I feel like naturally as a guy you always size up your opponents. Nothing against women as fighters I just would never hurt one physically or even consider fighting. So I guess it is easier to get the mindset of just submitting to a women. Because I am not gonna try to fight with her. And it is not like I am physically going to try to fight a guy in the same situation. But I think it goes into maintaining the tough guy mindset around other guys. You just dont want to be submissive naturally.

 

Sorry it is all hard to explain exactly 😅

Link to post

You will only know for certain if you try it.

This might help:

Adult corporal correction started for me in my 20s. I was in a (very good) professional mentoring relationship... and once made a throwaway remark to my mentor about how easy it had been as a teenager: the cycle of offence-cane-forgiveness.

Several weeks later I admitted to something stupid and found myself bending over for the cane to be administered. No discussion ... no 'do you think?' ... just 'trousers and pants down and bend over the table'.

It was EXACTLY what I needed and brought discipline (ie learning) and catharsis in equal measure. I would never have agreed in a rational conversation. But when ordered, I cooperated and it worked.

It will hurt if you are spanked.... it is supposed to. But it shouldn't injure or cause lasting damage. It is a sore bum as many of us had in our teenage years. It is survivable.

You can either dither at the poolside or dive in. Your decision.

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
On 5/21/2021 at 9:39 AM, Cavsalltheway23 said:

I do worry that I might end up not liking it all. Its hard for me to see myself comfortably with a guy doing anything.

I think you make this point quite a few times in your comments above. Probably a pretty good indicator that you aren't there yet.

We can't give you 'permission.' You need to decide for yourself whether to take the risk of feeling uncomfortable with a M/M spanking or not. I guess I am a pretty big 'listen carefully to your intuition' type of person.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to post

I'm heterosexual and have spanked both men and women over the years. Spankings only and nothing sexual other than witnessing a good red butt. 

Link to post
On 5/21/2021 at 11:32 AM, ammon said:

 

Thanks, Mr. Cavsalltheway. i hope we've provided some helpful suggestions. If you've talked with him several times already, and you have references from others, likely you have a comfort level and know enough to decide if he is an acceptable spanker for you. i'd guess that most men who get paddlings from men do so because like you, they cannot find Women to spank them, and finally decide to try it. The spanking need can be very compelling, and often overrides our preference in partners. 

So, you are concerned that you won't like it at all? hmmmm.... a few thoughts about that:

1. You won't know for sure until you try it whether it's acceptable to you, and if you don't try it, you will always wonder. However, you should be comfortable enough with the situation that it doesn't make you nauseous or feel it's revolting. If you feel nauseous about it or that it's revolting, now is not the time. Really, at 26, you are quite young, and if you aren't ready for it now, that doesn't mean you are ruling it out for the next 60 years.

2. If you end up not liking it at all, i'd say that would be great! Then, you will know you don't like it, and maybe you won't need to look for it any more. i wish i didn't need paddling in my life! That brings up another consideration and suggestion--if you can live without this, and if you haven't started down the spanking path, personally i strongly recommend that you avoid it entirely. The need for paddling has been a serious obstacle for me all of my life, and i'd prefer that you and others didn't have to live with this setback. Although a very serious paddling answers an ongoing need for me, it's been a plague for me. i'd say, stay away from it if you can, because it could be addictive.

3. As you read the forums, you will see that lots of people engage in spanking for fun and enjoyment. For many others, though, a paddling is not pleasurable, it's not enjoyable, it's not fun, and we don't like it. It can be scary. It may really, really hurt. In spite of all that, and as crazy as it sounds and is, some really, really  need a paddling, and so we pursue it, maybe relentlessly. Liking a paddling may not be the reason we submit to a paddling, but again, if you don't like it, maybe you can give it up. i wish i could give it up!

4. If you seek a paddling for punishment, you don't need to be comfortable having a guy do it. And, you will probably find that it's a paddling, and not much more. You may acquire a new friend, and if he's a good person and good for you, that would be positive. If he's not a good person--stay away!

You mentioned that it's a father-like spanking, and many seek exactly that. Make sure you're comfortable with that dynamic. i may be rare, but i would never want that kind of dynamic. If you are okay with it, though, you have another reason to meet this gentleman.

Mr. Cavsalltheway, we wish you the best. We wish you success in your journey.

You make some good points. I wont know until I try. And then I would know for sure. I do get nervous about things so that may make me nauseous. I feel like it could be beneficial from a punishment side but I wouldnt like it I do not think.

Link to post
2 minutes ago, Cavsalltheway23 said:

You make some good points. I wont know until I try. And then I would know for sure. I do get nervous about things so that may make me nauseous. I feel like it could be beneficial from a punishment side but I wouldnt like it I do not think.

I have this happen to, the nervous nausia.  I couldn't eat or sit still fir 3 days before my first date. (I was a late bloomer and like 25yrs old) It was bad.  But if I hadn't powered through I would never have started dating  and would never have eventually met and ended up agreeing to go out with my hubbs!   

I am still nervous every time I am about to meet someone new or even again if I haven't seen them in a while.  But in the end, it can titally be worth working through it.  I like to mentally prepare the most outrageous worst case scenario in my head and then tell myself that I can handle that and that it is so unlikely to happen.  (They are a serial killer   who wants to wear my skin? Bah unlikely.  They will take one look at me and be REALLY MEAB and hurt my feelings or runaway screaming... Possible but still unlikely AND I can live with it if it happens).  Good luck!  

  • Like 1
Link to post

Just find a bloke and get it done. I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who will be more than willing to spank you and have no hang-ups about spanking a man. 

Link to post

If I knew a guy into spanking (I don't), I would be OK with talking about the subject, not necessarily expecting anything to come of it -- as many people have much different reasons for spankings and much different expectations.

Would I possibly agree to spank a guy?   Yes.    Would I possibly agree to be spanked by a guy?   Maybe.    With the understanding that I am hetero only.

  • Like 1
Link to post
  • 2 weeks later...
On 5/27/2021 at 4:24 AM, Redwombutt said:

Just find a bloke and get it done. I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who will be more than willing to spank you and have no hang-ups about spanking a man. 

Yes there’s one here. I am very willing to give a male a good spanking however he wants it. 

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...