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6 hours ago, Child of Light said:

 

I unfortunately have a extremely high pain tolerance - because I experience physical pain 24/7; sometimes a spanking, literally is just a break from the chronic pain I feel. 

I have heard people say before that the good kind of pain takes their mind off of the bad kind of pain. 

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8 hours ago, Child of Light said:

I think you’d also be able to identify a crisis by having a EE write honest accounts and reflections on their behavior and sessions. And express how they feel - etc with 100% honesty. Self worth and noted comments about worthlessness would be a key in note, that a pause might be needed. 

It wouldn’t be your fault that they unsuppressed those during a session. In all honesty, when all said and done and they get the proper help they need, a lot of relief is formed.   

 

I have experience identifying a person’s pain needs. And I would certainly agree that a trauma surfaced and dealt with is a good thing. I also agree that it wouldn’t be a fault if somebody was triggered during a session.

When I question is my capacity to recognize this with any certainty. This is so above my pay grade.

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11 hours ago, firm_receiving_firm_giving said:

As far as your friend goes, the best thing you can be is her friend.  It sounds like that other guy totally abused her.  These ee's, especially female ee's, and even moreso female ee's who are dealing with a lot mentally need to be sooooo careful.  I think it's good you're evaluating your roll in this lifestyle, but you can be someone who makes a difference, so keep an open mind.  

Supporting my friend, and a few others, is certainly one of my concerns. But I am really mostly looking forwards. I don’t want to go through this doubt and introspection and keep doing the same old. Some have suggested that perhaps I can bring something positive out of this experience. I can do better for my spanking friends.

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2 hours ago, SwitchWithMe said:

I have experience identifying a person’s pain needs. And I would certainly agree that a trauma surfaced and dealt with is a good thing. I also agree that it wouldn’t be a fault if somebody was triggered during a session.

When I question is my capacity to recognize this with any certainty. This is so above my pay grade.

I think reflections and open and honest communications between an EE' and an ER is needed after a session. Because an ER could be uncomfortable to a level too. For example, my partner was abused with belts as a child. He stated with me that he could never hit me with a belt because of his own trauma. I like the idea of belts because of the sounds. But respect that is also something he can't do. If both the EE and the ER are in sync, they will know when something is off. Maybe not the first session or the second; I'm talking about long term dynamics. 

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23 minutes ago, Child of Light said:

If both the EE and the ER are in sync, they will know when something is off. Maybe not the first session or the second; I'm talking about long term dynamics. 

In some sense this summarizes my personal crisis of faith. I am not convinced I have that capacity.

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13 hours ago, Chawsee said:

Yes, I see this too. There is the erotic section, which is appreciated, and some fellow members are inclined this way, as we are. But there does seem to be a lot of commentary against the gentler side of spanking. We've all read the posts of those who sneer at anything erotic, pleasurable, fun, or even the use of a safe-word. It seems to be bragging rites to exclaim, "For me, spanking is not at all pleasurable. It's all about punishment." 

The SN homepage states: 

"Though we do not host or allow pornographic content and are not a fetish or kink site, we have chosen to restrict this site to adults to allow for more open discussions; and for the protection of minors since we do provide contacts to adults who provide corporal punishment therapy services."  

We're tolerated, but our style is not what this site is about. :) 

I think you misunderstand those who say it's punishment for them and not playful. There are a lot of people who try to argue people who do not want to cross sexual relations with their spanking desires who will invalidate them and say yes, "this is sexual for you, and a game and you're lying to yourself if you state otherwise." is what gets people so defensive.  

This is actually pretty outdated description and the front page does need an update. I acquired the site from someone who intended this to be an asexual spanko site. At the time people considered fetish/ kink = sex and so he was trying to define this as more as a site for people who desire the nuclear family dynamic without sex. I do believe that all spanking/ discipline desires [even if not sexual included] are some sort of romantic/ sexual orientation, fetish or kink. 

Here is a good blog that someone tries to explain non-sexual BDSM: https://beyondtherainbowblog.wordpress.com/2015/01/03/non-sexual-bdsm/

As the time has gone on and I acquired the site [I'm asexual too] we've opened up the found to various types of spanking. Some of the major changes were adding in was Roles, Relationships, Online Dynamics, and Roleplaying. Judgement on any type of spanking desire or needs shouldn't be allowed (unless obviously it involves actual real minors and going against consent). 

Because kink and fetish are often and googled defined as sexual an asexual wanted to clearly define the niche of non-sexual asexual desires that were a "need" but not sexual (if that makes sense). Obviously this site is not just for asexual people anymore and has grown :) 

Trauma is also one reason we allow age regression, age play, and talk through of our past childhood punishments. Not to get off on it - but to understand why we have the needs we do. Our past has a huge role on our current state of being. For some of us it's a deep core of who we are. And people wrongly assume it's pedophilic. 

Whilst we would still want only erotic talk in the subform for erotic [especially in detail] or health section if there is a health issue within sex - the only part of the forum that we'd like to keep to punishment/ disciplinary aspect is the "foundation" subforms (and even than a few of those are vague to let everyone put input); that section was meant of what the sites niche is about and the rest is a playful banter or should be a blur. We also still don't allow porn [as described in guidelines] to be on the site. This is a discussion board and it should have many opinions, but we aren't porn-hub :)

So basically, anyplace on the forum can have light spanking talk. And We've been trying to encourage it more lately. Also whatever dynamic you have with your partner [sexual or not] or whatever your sexuality is, gender/ gender identity, is welcomed here. 

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7 hours ago, SwitchWithMe said:I have experience identifying a person’s pain needs. And I would certainly agree that a trauma surfaced and dealt with is a good thing. I also agree that it wouldn’t be a fault if somebody was triggered during a session.

When I question is my capacity to recognize this with any certainty. This is so above my pay grade.

It is inherently difficult.  I have had ERs say I was being “defiant,” by not reacting sufficiently when I was dissociating or simply trying to sink into the pain to be able to tolerate it.  In a role play once, an ER was really beating the shit out of me . I was screaming at every blow and had labored breathing.  She said “are you going to do it again,” and I said “No. I’d slit my wrists before going through this again.” She kept going.  This was a pro, but not the one I most frequently post about.

I had yet another pro ER (whom another frequent poster on this site used to see) who billed herself as being very “maternal.”  She was hurting me so badly that I growled to  endure it.  She thought she could get me to cry as a “release,” but admitted that the growling was a form of dissociation. 
 

And the pro I post about most of the time admitted she had no ability to read my reactions.  In one session with her, I started talking to my recently deceased dog to distract myself from the pain.

The big point is that these women spanked people for a living. It was not a side hustle. It was their only job.  They did it day in and day out, and they were horrible at recognizing trauma, much less avoiding creating more of it.

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@gravano- Have you been spanked by a non-pro, ordinary, regular old spanko? 

I have never in my life experienced anything like that. I have only known caring, considerate spankos. I don't say that to minimize your experiences, but because what you describe is so extreme and so unlike anything I have been through despite meeting with a couple dozen spankos over the years (vanillas who spanked, spanko Tops and Doms and switches). It boggles my mind. I cannot fathom it because it is so disturbing. 

At what point are EEs complicit in all this? We all have to take responsibilty for the traumas in our lives (not that the traumas happened, but in how we heal or cope or respond to others). If you know that you put yourself in this type of extreme situation repeatedly, then you may have to decide to step back from spanking or visiting pros until you can work through your trauma with a professional mental health specialist or counselor. To continue to feed your trauma is dangerous on many levels. 

I want to be clear, I am not blanketing all situations - when one woman was unable to verbalize her safeword, that is when the Top needed to be checking in and ensuring everything was okay. Because that is what a good Top does. 

Not all EEs have trauma related to spanking or abuse. For some of us, spanking is an innate part of who we are. Many of us were just born this way. And many of us find safety and love and peace and joy through spanking. I wish those things for all who give or receive spanking - for eroticism or discipline or just plain fun. By the same token, if being beaten repeatedly is your trauma response, you have to examine that and make a choice that is healthy and appropriate. 

Both Tops and bottoms (Doms and subs, ERs and EEs) are responsible for every spanking situation. No one else is responsible for what happens in a spanking session unless they are witnesses who should intervene when safety is at stake. I do think a good Top will be able to read a situation (unless the bottom masks issues, lies, etc.). A bottom should not be forcing a Top into going beyond his or her limits. Tops are fallible, but some of the situations described make me think they are just abusers masquerading as ERs. A good spanker listens, is thoughtful and reasonable, and expresses caring. 

I am sorry and saddened by all the trauma you have experienced. I hope you will find a sense of peace.

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1 hour ago, gravano said:

It is inherently difficult.  I have had ERs say I was being “defiant,” by not reacting sufficiently when I was dissociating or simply trying to sink into the pain to be able to tolerate it.  In a role play once, an ER was really beating the shit out of me . I was screaming at every blow and had labored breathing.  She said “are you going to do it again,” and I said “No. I’d slit my wrists before going through this again.” She kept going.  This was a pro, but not the one I most frequently post about.

I had yet another pro ER (whom another frequent poster on this site used to see) who billed herself as being very “maternal.”  She was hurting me so badly that I growled to  endure it.  She thought she could get me to cry as a “release,” but admitted that the growling was a form of dissociation. 
 

And the pro I post about most of the time admitted she had no ability to read my reactions.  In one session with her, I started talking to my recently deceased dog to distract myself from the pain.

The big point is that these women spanked people for a living. It was not a side hustle. It was their only job.  They did it day in and day out, and they were horrible at recognizing trauma, much less avoiding creating more of it.

How have these pros treated you overall? How much discussion with them did you engage in before they spanked you? Did you feel they respected you? Respected your boundaries?

In spanking, they apparently didn't. I wonder how much of that carried over, and how obviously, to interactions outside of the spanking itself.

There are some posters on here--though not anyone participating in this thread--who give me the sense that they don't really respect their spankee (if they're the er). That, I wonder about. There are also some whose sense of respect, and boundaries, comes across clearly. If I were going to play with any of those people, you bet your life I'd only choose those in the second category.

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@gravanoThanks for sharing and your personal transparency.

You have been a great benefit to me. Others too. 

I finally have the strength and resolve to just walk away from this spanking thing.

Seems weird after all this time. 30+ years. At least for a time. I had been hoping to rebuild a spanking life after my tribe scattered. Maybe spanking is something that I will have only shared with them. Or tribe like them, which will take some time to find.

It may be I just can’t do this anymore. At least not as I have in the past. Things change us. I am not sure I want to return to the past. Several kind people have suggested that I have a space in this spanko thing given these concerns, these experiences. Maybe that is true. It may just be that I can’t hurt anyone any more. Not even the smack smack on a bottom which is the foundation of any spanking. I don’t know.

Any way. Be well.

Thanks again.

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I'd like to point out that we on Spanking Needs do not allow people to charge for 'services' between members and if advertisement for such is done they are banned as spam. There are massive issues with "professional" spankers. 

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Hey. So I hadn't intended to post in here, because the experiences referenced in this thread are entirely antithetical to my time and experiences over the years. I won't offer comparisons and I won't try to justify anything that's traumatized people, because from what I've read here there couldn't possibly be a justification. I have been a spanko my entire adult life, and I do so because I love it. For me, and for those with whom I play, it is just that. Play. All I will say is that I'm deeply saddened by what a lot of you have been through, and you're welcome to drop me a line if you want to vent or something. I'm not a therapist or anything, my field deals with trauma all the time but almost always physical, I leave mental and emotional trauma to the specialists. I may not answer instantly but I will eventually. Take care and be safe folks.

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10 hours ago, Child of Light said:

I think you misunderstand those who say it's punishment for them and not playful. There are a lot of people who try to argue people who do not want to cross sexual relations with their spanking desires who will invalidate them and say yes, "this is sexual for you, and a game and you're lying to yourself if you state otherwise." is what gets people so defensive.  

This is actually pretty outdated description and the front page does need an update. I acquired the site from someone who intended this to be an asexual spanko site. At the time people considered fetish/ kink = sex and so he was trying to define this as more as a site for people who desire the nuclear family dynamic without sex. I do believe that all spanking/ discipline desires [even if not sexual included] are some sort of romantic/ sexual orientation, fetish or kink. 

Here is a good blog that someone tries to explain non-sexual BDSM: https://beyondtherainbowblog.wordpress.com/2015/01/03/non-sexual-bdsm/

As the time has gone on and I acquired the site [I'm asexual too] we've opened up the found to various types of spanking. Some of the major changes were adding in was Roles, Relationships, Online Dynamics, and Roleplaying. Judgement on any type of spanking desire or needs shouldn't be allowed (unless obviously it involves actual real minors and going against consent). 

Because kink and fetish are often and googled defined as sexual an asexual wanted to clearly define the niche of non-sexual asexual desires that were a "need" but not sexual (if that makes sense). Obviously this site is not just for asexual people anymore and has grown :) 

Trauma is also one reason we allow age regression, age play, and talk through of our past childhood punishments. Not to get off on it - but to understand why we have the needs we do. Our past has a huge role on our current state of being. For some of us it's a deep core of who we are. And people wrongly assume it's pedophilic. 

Whilst we would still want only erotic talk in the subform for erotic [especially in detail] or health section if there is a health issue within sex - the only part of the forum that we'd like to keep to punishment/ disciplinary aspect is the "foundation" subforms (and even than a few of those are vague to let everyone put input); that section was meant of what the sites niche is about and the rest is a playful banter or should be a blur. We also still don't allow porn [as described in guidelines] to be on the site. This is a discussion board and it should have many opinions, but we aren't porn-hub :)

So basically, anyplace on the forum can have light spanking talk. And We've been trying to encourage it more lately. Also whatever dynamic you have with your partner [sexual or not] or whatever your sexuality is, gender/ gender identity, is welcomed here. 

It's understandable how those, for whom spanking is not sexual, would be offended at being told, "You don't know how you feel, but I do! Let me inform you...." Who wouldn't feel defensive over that message? :lol: I will be more mindful myself, to make sure I'm not doing this, too. Sometimes it feels like the punishment spankos and the erotic spankos are on opposite sides of the fence, but I think it's safe to assume that at the core, most members want to embrace, not alienate, one another.

Ah, so the mission statement on the homepage is not your verbiage? :rolleyes: Thank you for clarifying this and the details surrounding it.

"I do believe that all spanking/ discipline desires [even if not sexual included] are some sort of romantic/ sexual orientation, fetish or kink."  Very interesting definition, and thought!

Thank you for NOT being a porn-hub! When I was searching for a spanking forum to join, what drew me to SN was its respectable vibe. 

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5 hours ago, rubyredd said:

@gravano- Have you been spanked by a non-pro, ordinary, regular old spanko? 

I have never in my life experienced anything like that. I have only known caring, considerate spankos. I don't say that to minimize your experiences, but because what you describe is so extreme and so unlike anything I have been through despite meeting with a couple dozen spankos over the years (vanillas who spanked, spanko Tops and Doms and switches). It boggles my mind. I cannot fathom it because it is so disturbing. 

At what point are EEs complicit in all this? We all have to take responsibilty for the traumas in our lives (not that the traumas happened, but in how we heal or cope or respond to others). If you know that you put yourself in this type of extreme situation repeatedly, then you may have to decide to step back from spanking or visiting pros until you can work through your trauma with a professional mental health specialist or counselor. To continue to feed your trauma is dangerous on many levels. 

I want to be clear, I am not blanketing all situations - when one woman was unable to verbalize her safeword, that is when the Top needed to be checking in and ensuring everything was okay. Because that is what a good Top does. 

Not all EEs have trauma related to spanking or abuse. For some of us, spanking is an innate part of who we are. Many of us were just born this way. And many of us find safety and love and peace and joy through spanking. I wish those things for all who give or receive spanking - for eroticism or discipline or just plain fun. By the same token, if being beaten repeatedly is your trauma response, you have to examine that and make a choice that is healthy and appropriate. 

Both Tops and bottoms (Doms and subs, ERs and EEs) are responsible for every spanking situation. No one else is responsible for what happens in a spanking session unless they are witnesses who should intervene when safety is at stake. I do think a good Top will be able to read a situation (unless the bottom masks issues, lies, etc.). A bottom should not be forcing a Top into going beyond his or her limits. Tops are fallible, but some of the situations described make me think they are just abusers masquerading as ERs. A good spanker listens, is thoughtful and reasonable, and expresses caring. 

I am sorry and saddened by all the trauma you have experienced. I hope you will find a sense of peace.

My wife did it some.  We had fun with it until I started reading about DD and then decided to see pros after a lengthy hiatus. I am not doing any spanking activity and have not for more than a year.  I don’t know that I will ever again.

Your statement assumes you know you are “being beaten for a trauma response.”  That is not how it works.  You are drawn in by a compulsion which may or may not be sexual in nature.  You don’t realize you are engaging in “trauma repetition.”

I understand that doing it for fun or eroticism may not be traumatizing.  However, I will never understand how the real disciplinary spankings I read above here are not traumatizing.  There is a thread on this very site with ERs salivating about taking EEs to a state of PANIC.  How that is not traumatizing, unconsciously or not, is unfathomable to me. It is literally a point where you do not know if you are going to be OK.

 

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6 hours ago, gravano said:

I understand that doing it for fun or eroticism may not be traumatizing.  However, I will never understand how the real disciplinary spankings I read above here are not traumatizing.  There is a thread on this very site with ERs salivating about taking EEs to a state of PANIC.  How that is not traumatizing, unconsciously or not, is unfathomable to me. It is literally a point where you do not know if you are going to be OK.

Those people are few and far between, thankfully - and certainly not representative of the majority of spankos. I have seen their posts, too, and they are either Dommeholes, fantasists posing as r/l people, or site trolls. Block them and focus on the MANY other ERs here who are kind and caring.

I have engaged in disciplinary / punishment spanking over the years - in addition to hard play. One thing was consistent in discipline: caring. 

With hard play - hundreds of strokes / swats  or lengthy scenes - I have only ever played with people I know well and trust explicitly. That is my responsibility as a bottom. 

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@rubyreddSomething I’ve realized is love and caring is not enough.

I can have love and caring for a spankee, and still harm them. Despite the communication, dialog, connection. 

How? By not recognizing the effects of trauma in our play. Maybe “trauma” isn’t even the right term. Stuff. Not understanding stuff.

I am learning a lot talking with old spankee friends after this thread.

One spankee in particular comes to mind.

After a point in a spanking she’d often go passive and tremble. When we had explored this back then, it was her “accepting her punishment”. I have heard that a lot. Seen that. Struggle then accept the punishment.

Exploring it through different language now— she said she was having a flat out panic attack. She thought she was going to die. Mind snowed in panic. Talking with her it’s not sure why or how. She doesn’t know why herself. Nothing in our play. Seemingly nothing related to spanko life.

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1 hour ago, SwitchWithMe said:

@rubyreddSomething I’ve realized is love and caring is not enough.

I can have love and caring for a spankee, and still harm them. Despite the communication, dialog, connection. 

How? By not recognizing the effects of trauma in our play. Maybe “trauma” isn’t even the right term. Stuff. Not understanding stuff.

I am learning a lot talking with old spankee friends after this thread.

One spankee in particular comes to mind.

After a point in a spanking she’d often go passive and tremble. When we had explored this back then, it was her “accepting her punishment”. I have heard that a lot. Seen that. Struggle then accept the punishment.

Exploring it through different language now— she said she was having a flat out panic attack. She thought she was going to die. Mind snowed in panic. Talking with her it’s not sure why or how. She doesn’t know why herself. Nothing in our play. Seemingly nothing related to spanko life.

I used to converse with a female EE on Fetlife who had the same thing happen to her, almost exactly as you worded it.  There’s no denying she was messed up from it.

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1 hour ago, SwitchWithMe said:

@rubyreddSomething I’ve realized is love and caring is not enough.

I can have love and caring for a spankee, and still harm them. Despite the communication, dialog, connection. 

How? By not recognizing the effects of trauma in our play. Maybe “trauma” isn’t even the right term. Stuff. Not understanding stuff.

I am learning a lot talking with old spankee friends after this thread.

One spankee in particular comes to mind.

After a point in a spanking she’d often go passive and tremble. When we had explored this back then, it was her “accepting her punishment”. I have heard that a lot. Seen that. Struggle then accept the punishment.

Exploring it through different language now— she said she was having a flat out panic attack. She thought she was going to die. Mind snowed in panic. Talking with her it’s not sure why or how. She doesn’t know why herself. Nothing in our play. Seemingly nothing related to spanko life.

Love and caring might not be enough for everyone, that is true. Of course, we all get through trauma in different ways - and we also have different reactions. I have never experienced a sense of panic during a spanking, so I can't really imagine that sensation. 

If you do plan to step back from spanking, how will that affect you as a spanko? 

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21 minutes ago, rubyredd said:

If you do plan to step back from spanking, how will that affect you as a spanko? 

To be honest, I really don’t know. I’m not too worried about it.

I am really interested in trauma right now. My girlfriend has PTSD from being kidnapped while traveling abroad. There’s this whole spanking-trauma thing. It’s been a big huge AH HA talking this out. A million things clicking together in my head.

I have friends who treat trauma professionally. I want to get with them and really pick their brains. Get some sessions. Learn about what they do. I never thought of them as they aren’t in any kink scene, but they are perfect resources. I am moving towards career #2. So I’m really interested in what they do and how they came to do it.

I’d like to really learn about this trauma thing before getting back into this.

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1 hour ago, SwitchWithMe said:

To be honest, I really don’t know. I’m not too worried about it.

I am really interested in trauma right now. My girlfriend has PTSD from being kidnapped while traveling abroad. There’s this whole spanking-trauma thing. It’s been a big huge AH HA talking this out. A million things clicking together in my head.

I have friends who treat trauma professionally. I want to get with them and really pick their brains. Get some sessions. Learn about what they do. I never thought of them as they aren’t in any kink scene, but they are perfect resources. I am moving towards career #2. So I’m really interested in what they do and how they came to do it.

I’d like to really learn about this trauma thing before getting back into this.

I wish you all the best! 

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3 hours ago, SwitchWithMe said:

To be honest, I really don’t know. I’m not too worried about it.

I am really interested in trauma right now. My girlfriend has PTSD from being kidnapped while traveling abroad. There’s this whole spanking-trauma thing. It’s been a big huge AH HA talking this out. A million things clicking together in my head.

I have friends who treat trauma professionally. I want to get with them and really pick their brains. Get some sessions. Learn about what they do. I never thought of them as they aren’t in any kink scene, but they are perfect resources. I am moving towards career #2. So I’m really interested in what they do and how they came to do it.

I’d like to really learn about this trauma thing before getting back into this.

If you really want to learn about trauma, this is the book: Bessel van der Kolk, “The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma” (2014).  It explains things that have eluded and baffled me for decades.  

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21 hours ago, SwitchWithMe said:

@gravanoThanks for sharing and your personal transparency.

You have been a great benefit to me. Others too. 

I finally have the strength and resolve to just walk away from this spanking thing.

Seems weird after all this time. 30+ years. At least for a time. I had been hoping to rebuild a spanking life after my tribe scattered. Maybe spanking is something that I will have only shared with them. Or tribe like them, which will take some time to find.

It may be I just can’t do this anymore. At least not as I have in the past. Things change us. I am not sure I want to return to the past. Several kind people have suggested that I have a space in this spanko thing given these concerns, these experiences. Maybe that is true. It may just be that I can’t hurt anyone any more. Not even the smack smack on a bottom which is the foundation of any spanking. I don’t know.

Any way. Be well.

Thanks again.

Thanks, @SwitchWithMe. I have only stuck here around because of what I saw you experienced and because there are two others who seemed to benefit from hearing about my experience.  I hope you find some peace in all this, and I applaud the awareness and compassion you bring to this activity.  I have found it to be refreshing and rare.

Good luck and take care. 

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3 hours ago, gravano said:

Thanks, @SwitchWithMe. I have only stuck here around because of what I saw you experienced and because there are two others who seemed to benefit from hearing about my experience.  I hope you find some peace in all this, and I applaud the awareness and compassion you bring to this activity.  I have found it to be refreshing and rare.

Good luck and take care. 

You have to remember gravano that there are countless people now, and into the future who will benefit from the discussions you helped foster here...lots of people read this site who don't even register.  Your threads could be helping someone not even born yet lol.  So don't minimize your efforts by saying only several people benefit.  And keep the discussions going !!! ;)

 

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