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Question: For women who spank are you the boss or if married head of household. For male spankees is your girlfriend the boss or if married is your wife head of household? As a woman who spanks her husband , I find it hard for a relationship to be equal when I am spanking him. I make the rules. I don't feel are marriage is a FLR one. I feel more like a mommy and my husband as a son who still needs spankings . Ms L

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You specified husbands or boyfriends and I’m neither.  My ER and I have a spanking partnership without the dating-romance aspect, but for what it’s worth, no, she is not the boss or head of our relationship, nor has she ever tried to be.  I am treated as an equal, as a man, not a child.  The only time I’m made to feel childish is when I have to drop my pants and take my place over her lap, but this is for infractions I’ve committed that we agreed on together that I wouldn’t commit, or if I get mouthy, as sometimes happens.  😬  She helps me where I’ve asked for her help (like the way I interact with colleagues), or where she can see that I need help (like in dealing with my ex).  It’s always done in a supportive way though, not in a demeaning way.  So there is more nurturing and encouragement than discipline.

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We are a bit different as well.  Not married, but we do live together full time in our FLR with DD household.   For all household and relationship aspects, she is the HoH and in charge of everything.  I am not a slave and thus maintain my own bank accounts and personal property.  I have my on real property as well.  We do not to the 'mommy and son' concept, but I do submit to her complete authority on all relationship and household concerns.  We agreed that punishment would consist of only bare ass spankings.  We both drafted the agreement and rules and with the adoption of such, I agreed to accept her punishments without question as to determination of need, place, time, position, duration or implements used.  For over 12 years, this arrangement has worked very well for us.

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I have been wondering lately whether this type of "Mommy/Son" marital dynamic also includes nurturing and the softer side of parental relationships (support, affection, positive reinforcement rather than constant threat of punishment) as well as the punitive parenting style and near-total power exchange that is frequently discussed. I understand that everyone has a dynamic they feel comfortable with, but am genuinely curious about the balance. I know from being this field that people who grow up with a stern, punitive parent without the counter-balance of love and nurturing often struggle long-term. Just wondering.

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  • 1 month later...
On 5/3/2021 at 9:28 AM, Spankingmyhuby said:

Question: For women who spank are you the boss or if married head of household. For male spankees is your girlfriend the boss or if married is your wife head of household? As a woman who spanks her husband , I find it hard for a relationship to be equal when I am spanking him. I make the rules. I don't feel are marriage is a FLR one. I feel more like a mommy and my husband as a son who still needs spankings . Ms L

Not in our case. My wife spanks me- and very hard- when I ask her to spank me. We come up with a reason and then she gives me multiple long sessions with a variety of implements which have my butt marked sometimes for weeks and where I’m screaming into the pillow and in agony. 
That’s something we do though and it doesn’t extend itself into our life outside of spanking. We are both equal in our household and make decisions together.

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Well to be honest we have sort of a Spencer plan agreement, which has come about recently.  If one misbehaves an appointment is set with the paddle, for prompt resoltion of the issue.  

 

We make decisions jointly, however he is clearly subject to discipline more often which may include household chores.

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5 hours ago, FLRspanker said:

Well to be honest we have sort of a Spencer plan agreement, which has come about recently.  If one misbehaves an appointment is set with the paddle, for prompt resoltion of the issue.  

 

We make decisions jointly, however he is clearly subject to discipline more often which may include household chores.

I'd love that type of relationship.

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I’m in charge of our relationship completely, outside of the spankings. When we have sex/screw around, she’s in charge. She likes control of the sexual encounters, and I’m not complaining. Every other aspect of our life, I’m in charge. 

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  • 1 month later...

My wife is an alpha female. Her natural dominant personality is beautiful. She is in charge of the bedroom. We are equal partners with financials and make choices together. I help with house cleaning, laundry and raising our kids. 

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Hi Cowboy, your friend John from years ago. I attended your spanking party in the Albany area years ago. Miss M, your lady is the best spanker EVER as well as one of the nicest. Drop a line, or message me on fetlife.

john

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Hi John.  Sure we remember you.  We enjoyed your attendance at our party.    I'll try to remember to drop you a note sometime.  Feel free to leave a message for me either there or here.  How are things with you?

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