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Inappropriately looking at other women/girls


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I am mostly directing this to the women here since it seems to be a common thing that men/boys do.  I am sure that it can work both ways, but it is less common for women to do this.

I am curious how the ladies here feel about guys who can't help but take a long and inappropriate look at other women or even girls?  Maybe this is something that is less than subtle and approaching embarrassing for you to be around him.

Would you consider this 'boys will boys" behavior or something serious?    What you think the consequences should be?

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"Boys will be boys" is a bullshit excuse for bad behavior and lack of self-control.

For me casual glance no harm no fowl, perhaps a quick involuntary glance, for instance just recognizing some one is there.  Beyond that out right ogling very inappropriate and disrespectful.

I think it's normal for men and women both to look at someone and think "she's pretty or he's handsome." Nothing wrong with that. Human nature. There is a difference in just looking and being a c

I find it a little annoying you group all men with the same view. Yes I appreciate a lady, but to suggest that goes with inappropriate thoughts makes me wonder  how your mind works. 

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30 minutes ago, Tate999 said:

I find it a little annoying you group all men with the same view. Yes I appreciate a lady, but to suggest that goes with inappropriate thoughts makes me wonder  how your mind works. 

I wasn't intending to group all men into that category I was just stating that women are not often accused of this. 

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"Boys will be boys" is a bullshit excuse for bad behavior and lack of self-control.

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There is a difference between "appreciating the artwork" and leering.  Hubbs and I both "appreciate the artwork".  That is, seeing someone who is attractive, and recognizing that they are attractive.  Neither of us stare or drool or start airhumping. I do not relationship with Leer-ers.  

Now, this does set itself up for a decent role play scenario.  If you have a friend that is an exhibitionist and LIKES that attention then you work it out in advance that you are going to be leering and getting paddled for it. 

  

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1 hour ago, Megthe said:

There is a difference between "appreciating the artwork" and leering.  Hubbs and I both "appreciate the artwork".  That is, seeing someone who is attractive, and recognizing that they are attractive.  Neither of us stare or drool or start airhumping. I do not relationship with Leer-ers.  

Now, this does set itself up for a decent role play scenario.  If you have a friend that is an exhibitionist and LIKES that attention then you work it out in advance that you are going to be leering and getting paddled for it. 

  

That would be a good role play scenario.  Although it needs to be said bad boys who look do deserve a good paddling.

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20 minutes ago, Spank_that_ass said:

That would be a good role play scenario.  Although it needs to be said bad boys who look do deserve a good paddling.

Only if they are 100% NOT a spanko.  If you are a spanko at heart then you fully deserve to NOT be spanked again until you learn your lesson.  

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I have had female partners who have looked at other women and said "wow, she's hot." I guess it depends upon who you are with and what their expectations are, although I think the "long and inappropriate" part moves it do a different level other than just appreciating beauty. 

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12 hours ago, MaryJo1996 said:

It's creepy as hell and makes us feel uncomfortable...whether it's happening to us or someone else.

Love that answer.

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How are you defining "inappropriate look"?

There's a world of difference between appreciating someone and creeping on someone. Either way, it may be a lusty sort of look, but in the first case, the other person is recognized as a person and their boundaries respected. In the second case, boundaries are being violated. THAT is really inappropriate.

The first case may get complicated if you're in a monogamous relationship with someone else. In that case, there's another distinction to parse apart: to what extent is is okay to entertain lusty thoughts of other people? Is looking okay? Flirting? When you're in your partner's presence, or only when you're not? Not everyone will answer those questions in the same way.

"Long and inappropriate" sounds like you're describing creep behavior. That isn't okay even if you're single. But some people conflate being upset about that with being jealous, when those are really two entirely different reasons to be upset.

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I think it's normal for men and women both to look at someone and think "she's pretty or he's handsome." Nothing wrong with that. Human nature.

There is a difference in just looking and being a creep. I can't stand to have a man stare at me, smile at me for a long period, wink at me or brush me as he goes by. I find that creepy. I would also find it creepy if my boyfriend did this while with me. As Maryjo said, it makes us very uncomfortable!!

Appreciating beauty is one thing, but being a leering , creepy dirt bag is quite another!!

Actually, this reminds me of the happenings on this site as well. Some men message me and say things like Hi, how are you? OR What is your interest in spanking? All good there. Others message me with , "Take your panties off" OR "Your training starts with an enema!" OH hell No!! Creepy as hell!! Similar...one is appropriate and one is not.

 

15 hours ago, rubyredd said:

"Boys will be boys" is a bullshit excuse for bad behavior and lack of self-control.

I completely agree with Ruby!!

 

 

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8 hours ago, Bramblewine said:

How are you defining "inappropriate look"?

There's a world of difference between appreciating someone and creeping on someone. Either way, it may be a lusty sort of look, but in the first case, the other person is recognized as a person and their boundaries respected. In the second case, boundaries are being violated. THAT is really inappropriate.

The first case may get complicated if you're in a monogamous relationship with someone else. In that case, there's another distinction to parse apart: to what extent is is okay to entertain lusty thoughts of other people? Is looking okay? Flirting? When you're in your partner's presence, or only when you're not? Not everyone will answer those questions in the same way.

"Long and inappropriate" sounds like you're describing creep behavior. That isn't okay even if you're single. But some people conflate being upset about that with being jealous, when those are really two entirely different reasons to be upset.

The flavor I am trying to capture is the long and inappropriate look.  Maybe on the boundary of creepy.  Not an innocent appreciation of the art of some attractive lady, but a bit beyond that. 

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10 hours ago, Spank_that_ass said:

The flavor I am trying to capture is the long and inappropriate look.  Maybe on the boundary of creepy.  Not an innocent appreciation of the art of some attractive lady, but a bit beyond that. 

That is definitely NOT boys being boys. And there's no such thing as not being able to help it. Any guy who says that is just making an excuse.

Maybe he can't help being attracted, but he CAN choose not to be a creeper.

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For me casual glance no harm no fowl, perhaps a quick involuntary glance, for instance just recognizing some one is there.  Beyond that out right ogling very inappropriate and disrespectful.

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11 minutes ago, NewEr said:

For me casual glance no harm no fowl, perhaps a quick involuntary glance, for instance just recognizing some one is there.  Beyond that out right ogling very inappropriate and disrespectful.

  What sort of punishment you give for disrespect or inappropriate behavior?   Is this something you consider warranting a severe response?.

I've noticed that there is a wide range of thoughts about what is considered inappropriate or disrespectful. For some the threshold is very low. Even a casual glance for that might be considered inappropriate. Just noticing some other woman who is attractive would be considered very bad behavior.  For others like you it seems it's not a big deal until the crosses the threshold.

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43 minutes ago, Spank_that_ass said:

  What sort of punishment you give for disrespect or inappropriate behavior?   Is this something you consider warranting a severe response?.

I've noticed that there is a wide range of thoughts about what is considered inappropriate or disrespectful. For some the threshold is very low. Even a casual glance for that might be considered inappropriate. Just noticing some other woman who is attractive would be considered very bad behavior.  For others like you it seems it's not a big deal until the crosses the threshold.

Well glaring and looking at women/girls is quite inappropriate behavior. It is rude and disrespectful toward women . I instill this in my husband when we were dating. He learned the hard way that it is a spankable offense.                                                           

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Just now, Spankingmyhuby said:

Well glaring and looking at women/girls is quite inappropriate behavior. It is rude and disrespectful toward women . I instill this in my husband when we were dating. He learned the hard way that it is a spankable offense.                                                           

We were living in a motel before and a little after we were married. We were going to the pool and I make him wear his speedos as usual. The pool was not very crowded,but their were these two young ladies who were in their early 20's ,old enough to be his daughters. My husband was laying on his stomach on a chair looking at these girls and ignoring me. Well I got so mad and slapped him hard on his speedo suit and bottom. I then grabbed him by the ear and asked the ladies to watch our chairs and our towels etc. They obviously knew he was glaring at them. Making a long story short I took him back to the motel room and proceeded to give him a spanking over my knee with a small wooden paddle . I told him in no uncertain terms that he was to apologize to the young ladies.Well he did apologize and their was no hiding the spanking l gave him. The girls giggled and one said" my you gave him a spanking." Well he sat at the pool the rest of day learning a lesson and seeing what it is liked to have someone glaring at him. I recommend all women not to tolerate this kind behavior and put your boyfriend or husband across your knee. Ms L

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1 hour ago, Spank_that_ass said:

  What sort of punishment you give for disrespect or inappropriate behavior?   Is this something you consider warranting a severe response?.

I've noticed that there is a wide range of thoughts about what is considered inappropriate or disrespectful. For some the threshold is very low. Even a casual glance for that might be considered inappropriate. Just noticing some other woman who is attractive would be considered very bad behavior.  For others like you it seems it's not a big deal until the crosses the threshold.

Well for disrespect or inappropriate behavior he can plan on a appointment with his bad boy paddle, which usually last about 30 minutes.

 

As far as looking my husband is in a bit of a unique situation, because of his occupation.  He is usually acutely aware of his circumstances and the people around him, so as long as he is not discriminating by that I mean not taking more notice of attractive woman versus men I am fine with it.  So no I am not going to have an issue with him taking notice of people in general.  

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26 minutes ago, Spankingmyhuby said:

We were living in a motel before and a little after we were married. We were going to the pool and I make him wear his speedos as usual. The pool was not very crowded,but their were these two young ladies who were in their early 20's ,old enough to be his daughters. My husband was laying on his stomach on a chair looking at these girls and ignoring me. Well I got so mad and slapped him hard on his speedo suit and bottom. I then grabbed him by the ear and asked the ladies to watch our chairs and our towels etc. They obviously knew he was glaring at them. Making a long story short I took him back to the motel room and proceeded to give him a spanking over my knee with a small wooden paddle . I told him in no uncertain terms that he was to apologize to the young ladies.Well he did apologize and their was no hiding the spanking l gave him. The girls giggled and one said" my you gave him a spanking." Well he sat at the pool the rest of day learning a lesson and seeing what it is liked to have someone glaring at him. I recommend all women not to tolerate this kind behavior and put your boyfriend or husband across your knee. Ms L

Bet that turned the tables quickly bet he was less inclined to be laying on his stomach afterwards.

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7 minutes ago, NewEr said:

Bet that turned the tables quickly bet he was less inclined to be laying on his stomach afterwards.

Yes you are right about that. However in his little speedos I was quite aware of any protruding in front which could precipitate another discussion . Spare the rod spoil the husband ladies.   Ms L

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11 hours ago, Spankingmyhuby said:

We were living in a motel before and a little after we were married. We were going to the pool and I make him wear his speedos as usual. The pool was not very crowded,but their were these two young ladies who were in their early 20's ,old enough to be his daughters. My husband was laying on his stomach on a chair looking at these girls and ignoring me. Well I got so mad and slapped him hard on his speedo suit and bottom. I then grabbed him by the ear and asked the ladies to watch our chairs and our towels etc. They obviously knew he was glaring at them. Making a long story short I took him back to the motel room and proceeded to give him a spanking over my knee with a small wooden paddle . I told him in no uncertain terms that he was to apologize to the young ladies.Well he did apologize and their was no hiding the spanking l gave him. The girls giggled and one said" my you gave him a spanking." Well he sat at the pool the rest of day learning a lesson and seeing what it is liked to have someone glaring at him. I recommend all women not to tolerate this kind behavior and put your boyfriend or husband across your knee. Ms L

Ms L, I am sure he found that experience very painful and horribly embarrassing.  I can't imagine what it must have been like for him to have to apologize to them knowing that his ass was still glowing from the paddling you gave him.   I am sure that they would have found it entertaining and amusing to have someone that could be their father apologizing while trying to avoid them seeing his well spanked bottom. 

The only thing that could have been worse is them witnessing the spanking or being offered an opportunity to use that paddle on him themselves.

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11 hours ago, NewEr said:

Well for disrespect or inappropriate behavior he can plan on a appointment with his bad boy paddle, which usually last about 30 minutes.

 

As far as looking my husband is in a bit of a unique situation, because of his occupation.  He is usually acutely aware of his circumstances and the people around him, so as long as he is not discriminating by that I mean not taking more notice of attractive woman versus men I am fine with it.  So no I am not going to have an issue with him taking notice of people in general.  

Ouch.  30 minutes of paddling would make an impression.    You are very strict.

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In terms of "punishment" for a boyfriend inappropriately looking at another woman, I wouldn't punish him - I'd simply break up with him.

As I've said already, a guy leering at any woman is just creepy. And in relation to me as the girlfriend, I just wouldn't stand for a boyfriend doing that. Nothing to do with this lifestyle...just get out of my life.

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