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Telling your therapist you are a spanko


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Therapy by a licensed counselor is often sought after for a wide variety of emotional issues.  How many of you would feel comfortable confiding in your therapist that you are an avowed spanko if it was central to the concerns being addressed?  

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I've heard some good and bad experiences of this. 

The fear is that your therapist would see being a spanko as a mental issue and fixate on that instead of solving the issues at hand. 

That said, I imagine for a lot of them, it'll be unlikely to surprise them. There is also a directory for kink aware professionals which will allow you to find one that's kink accepting before going to see them. 

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I am a therapist in the DMV and am "kink friendly." That said,  if I were back in therapy myself (yes, even therapists need help sometimes) I would be very careful to find a therapist who would not judge this as automatically a problem. Interview your therapist.  Ask questions about their values and opinions.  You're a consumer of their services. You're going to be paying them good money (maybe a lot of it). You have a right to "test drive the car" and make sure it works for you.

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If I were planning to see a therapist, I would want to know if s/he considered my kinks in a negative light. I have no time for people who attach shame to my kink. 

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I did mention it, after seeing the clinician for nearly 6 months. 

Her reaction seemed more about intrigue rather than assistance. 

I left shortly thereafter.  It hadn't been a good fit, but I didn't want to judge too quickly.

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As long as you feel comfortable talking with your therapist about it, I don’t see a problem with it, and neither should they. Therapists are trained to be compassionate and open without judgement of any kind. 

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I would not be comfortable speaking to my current counselors about this at all.  I wouldn’t even consider it.  If I knew for sure, the counselor was kink friendly, it would be nice to open up about it in therapy.  Due to insurance limitations, it’s not always easy/or even possible to find one, unless you can pay out of pocket.  

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I have a degree in clinical psych and have done a fair amount of psychotherapy, some of it with non-vanilla and a very wide range of 'alternative lifestyle' populations. I never advertised being kink-friendly, as it honestly should NOT be a focus of therapy unless it is clinically-relevant in the individual's life and causing them issues/distress.

We are trained in non-judgement, though I realize individual belief systems in a clinician may (unfairly) influence the therapy process. I don't think a kink-friendly therapist is required to have a very good chance of a productive therapy relationship that does not involve the clinician considering these interests/needs/wants as dysfunctional. As some have noted, though, 'clicking' with a therapist is critically important.

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Thank you OhRedhead  and a-mw-spanker1

2 hours ago, OhRedhead said:
8 hours ago, a-mw-spanker1 said:

As long as you feel comfortable talking with your therapist about it, I don’t see a problem with it, and neither should they. Therapists are trained to be compassionate and open without judgement of any kind. 

We are trained in non-judgement, though I realize individual belief systems in a clinician may (unfairly) influence the therapy process. I don't think a kink-friendly therapist is required to have a very good chance of a productive therapy relationship that does not involve the clinician considering these interests/needs/wants as dysfunctional

As our marriage was breaking  up (my desire- for crazy reasons) we did go to counseling.   My husband told the therapist that we were a spanko couple,  a domestic discipline couple.  That had nothing to do with my problem, and therapist didn't care and didn't focus on it at all because that wasn't the problem.  The female therapist  said something like, it doesn't matter what a couple agrees on,  I am here to help you solve the problems  you disagree about. 

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15 hours ago, polarbear150 said:

Therapy by a licensed counselor is often sought after for a wide variety of emotional issues.  How many of you would feel comfortable confiding in your therapist that you are an avowed spanko if it was central to the concerns being addressed?  

Yes. It is a core issue in my therapy, and I have had EMDR sessions focused on what was done to me in my childhood and in my adulthood by a pro disciplinarian.

If you really don’t want to look behind the curtain at the origins of your interest, you may not want to bring it up.  My last therapist indicated that it was considered a disorder, and it rocked me.  I confirmed that she was right by looking it up in the DSM-V.  I am now trying to heal from what originated this interest and the damage I did to myself in adulthood by engaging in “trauma repetition,” a phenomenon where people compulsively re-enact traumatic experiences in a (futile) effort to gain control over them or alter their outcome.  Hope it works out for you.

 

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I told my therapist about both being a spanko and liking wearing diapers. She did ask me how often I got spanked. That was back when it was once a month for the spankings.

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I doubt the therapist I see would be considered 'kink friendly', however they were totally non-judgemental, and asked a lot of good questions that helped me understand trauma I experienced as a very young child that is likely the core of me using self-spanking for stress relief. As such it has come up often in our discussions as we explore alternative or supplemental approaches.

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