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Scolding during the spanking


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I've had it with and without. As a spanker, I don't really scold, unless the spankee wants me to. At the same time, sometimes I've wanted to be scolded even if  the spanking is just for the sore butt or for stress relief.

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1 hour ago, rubyredd said:

It depends on the ER - but, I have had it both ways. Some Tops really limit the scolding to before or during short breaks in swats. Others can keep up a steady stream of scolding the whole time.

The spanking becomes that much more humilating when my wife ( mommy) scolds me and punishes me over her knee during the correction.

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It should probably be a mix of the two, I'd say. 

You don't want to spend the entire session scolding them, otherwise you'll just run out of things to say and odds are they won't hear most of it anyway. So I'd say check in every so often to remind them why they're being spanked, ask questions or check that they're still here with you. 

 

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Scolding is always part of the spanking either when I am spanking someone or when I am being spanked.  I really enjoy being a 12 year old again being scolder by an angry parent.  When I spank I do whet the spankee NEEDS. Most have needed the scolding.

'THIS HURTS ME MORE THAN IT DOES YOU!    Yes but not in the same place.

'WHEN I GET FINISHED WITH YOU YOU WON'T SIT DOWN FOR A WEEK! "

" YOU KNOW YOU HAVE HAD THIS COMING FOR A LONG TIME !"

" STOP SQUIRMING AND TAKE IT, YOU KNOW YOU DESERVE IT!

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I agree that scolding is an essential part of the spanking ritual. A lecture before and some scolding during to remind you that you are a naughty boy and are getting what you deserve. Also good to be asked questions that require contrition

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Of course, circumstances vary.

It happens, though, that some of my most intense emotional experiences in either role have been when the 'ee is owning the spankng by agreeing in detail that it is deserved and why.  Otherwise, there is sometimes a risk that, rather than getting into an appropriate headspace, the 'ee is just toughing it out and in effect emerging at some level as the defiant winner of the power exchange.

                                                                H.

 

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The spankings I give my husband are usually across my knee. I do scold during the spankings and I ask questions , that require answers . I expect answers to be appropriate or the spanking will continue longer than a tomato color bottom ,that he is going to get regardless. I expect "yes mommy" and " no mommy answers". I definitely believe in scolding during the spanking and it adds to the shame of him getting a spanking over his wife/ mommy knee. When I have him laying or bending over a bed,chair, sofa ECT,for a slower spanking he also gets scolded and must count the strokes.

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On 4/23/2021 at 2:48 PM, SpudStateSpanky said:

I get lectured before the spanking and scolded during it.  It’s usually lecture, then spank for awhile, pause to scold, back to spanking, pause to scold some more, and back to spanking.

This approach is effective for you because you respond so well to scolding. A different spankee, however, may not need or want to be scolded as much.

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7 minutes ago, Chawsee said:

This approach is effective for you because you respond so well to scolding. A different spankee, however, may not need or want to be scolded as much.

I agree with you to the extent that is matters what the context of the spanking is and the relationship between ER and EE.  But for my wife and me, the scolding, or verbal discourse if you want to call it that, during the disciplinary session, is utterly essential.  The cause for the discipline, the actual rule break, needs to be hammered home during discipline.  It's the foundation and the cause, and the basis for the negative reinforcement.  My wife and I do a lot of spanking for fun and just screwing around, where scolding is just a game.  But I feel that actual discipline needs a firm foundation and a meeting of the minds.  Genuine scolding during discipline is a critical communication and an essential part of the process.

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I agree with the theme of these comments.

So, as 'er, if the session is set up as I would like, before any form of aftercare there is an important moment in which I make the 'ee say in effect "Thank you for my punishment, sir.  It was embarrassing and painful for me to [here recite details of punishment].  But it was exactly what I deserved for [here recite details of offense].  And I know it will help me do better in the future."

The idea isn't to reinforce my authority but rather to get the 'ee to internalize (or as Handily says "own") the lesson. -Ex.

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My bottom really needs me to scold her, but for some reason I can't scold and spank at the same time. I also have run out of things to scold her for. Mostly what my EE gets spanked for is lack of motivation. She runs/owns an online store and sometimes get lazy in terms of putting up new info on her store's website. So I spank her for that. She gets maintenance spanking mostly. Twice a week and it's hard to find something to  scold her for.

 

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14 hours ago, mikeae102754 said:

My bottom really needs me to scold her, but for some reason I can't scold and spank at the same time. I also have run out of things to scold her for. Mostly what my EE gets spanked for is lack of motivation. She runs/owns an online store and sometimes get lazy in terms of putting up new info on her store's website. So I spank her for that. She gets maintenance spanking mostly. Twice a week and it's hard to find something to  scold her for.

 

How about going over the required tasks for the week in a stern, domly flex tone?  Hubbs has said things like "how many exercises are getting this week"  and "what is rule#1".  And "why are we doing this spanking?" I'm not in trouble, it is to help motivate me do what I need to.  I also prefer a "scolding" when spanked.  For me, going over the rules or tasks in a firm tone before and during a spanking is close enough.

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7 minutes ago, Megthe said:

How about going over the required tasks for the week in a stern, domly flex tone?  Hubbs has said things like "how many exercises are getting this week"  and "what is rule#1".  And "why are we doing this spanking?" I'm not in trouble, it is to help motivate me do what I need to.  I also prefer a "scolding" when spanked.  For me, going over the rules or tasks in a firm tone before and during a spanking is close enough.

Thanks. I will try this

 

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I don't think I am ever actually 'scolded'.

 

Coming from the traditional 'British stiff-upper-lip' tradition, the only sound is the whistle and splat of the cane doing its work. Indeed the cane is quieter on flesh than on clothing. Canings at home and at school were also given in silence, although I might very occasionally hear 'keep still'.

 

Again very much in the English tradition, it's not so much a scolding as a quiet conversation prior to the correction.

 

So if it is a straightforward PUNISHMENT the conversation might be very brief. "Yes, exceeding the speed limit by x mph. You know that's six of the best.... over to the chair, please..."

 

If it's DISCIPLINE it will be much longer and a two-way conversation. "So why did you do x?

"Was there any better solution, now you have reflected?

"What might you do differently?

"In your heart of hearts, was this driven by temper?"

 

Etc.

If after that sort of conversation, my mentor thinks I will benefit from the emphasis of a couple of minutes with a bare bottom, it will again be a quiet command and not a scolding.

Occasionally I am invited to take a few minutes of 'reflection time' after the correction: again conducted in silence.

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When behavior modification is truly the goal, I believe scolding is essential. The spankee needs to be reminded of the misbehavior, admit it, apologize for it, promise not to repeat it, and have that promise "drilled" into their brain. Scolding accomplishes all of this ...

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  • 2 months later...

When we session I am scolded as she drags by the ear over to her straight back chair. She continues to scold as she throws me over her lap. She will ask questions that I must answer too. She is very good at paddling and scolding at the same time. I mean her scolding alone sets the tone it’s like I feel little and I’m I a different headspace instantly when she starts scolding.

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My wife is adept at incorporating this form of discipline as a humbling prelude to the main event. She orders me to fetch the hairbrush and then scolds me sharply while she takes my pants down for an old-fashioned spanking over her knee. By the time she lets me off her lap, I am a penitent naughty boy who often receives corner time afterward with my blushing bare bottom on display for M’Lady’s enjoyment. (?l?)

Gary 

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Scolding, lecturing or talking (whatever you want to call it) is a big part of the whole picture for me. Without it, the spanking doesn't mean a whole lot. It still hurts, but it doesn't get into my head, heart and soul. It just hurts.

My boyfriend usually lets me know why I am getting a spanking beforehand (sometime he doesn't), but the main part of the talk goes on during the spanking. He talks, spanks, lectures, spanks, asks questions and expects a quick, but decent answer and talks and spanks, asks questions and spanks some more. 

It's a process, but one that gets into my head, heart and soul. By the end I know why I've been spanked, what I can do in the future to avoid it, I have ideas to correct the behavior or reach a goal and most of all I know I am forgiven. HIs disappointment is better and my heart no longer hurts from disappointing him.

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  • 1 month later...

Absolutely. Love to lecture/scold before, and during a spanking. Always using a calm tone; never raise my voice. During aftercare, lecture morphs into a more soothing tone while applying lotion (if I remember to bring some).

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