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What do you love about spanking? Consider your response from beyond discipline / eroticism / fun and even from beyond the physical sensations. 

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I suppose the dominant and submissive aspects of personalities displayed in a lighter way.  A spanking doesn't necessarily have the potentially unhealthy, overtly controlling aspects a domineering person might bring to a relationship.  Something that always seemed more innocent and bonding about it.

Many spankos look down on people who aren't as hard core into it as they are, but I appreciate spankings that aren't necessarily central to a lifestyle.

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2 hours ago, rubyredd said:

What do you love about spanking? Consider your response from beyond discipline / eroticism / fun and even from beyond the physical sensations. 

I've come to realize that we are members of a very special, often misunderstood, group of people. So part of what I like is sharing thoughts and ideas related to spanking with folks who truly understand. My closest friends and family don't get me the way a spanko would, so it's a pleasure to be able to open up that side of me. Especially since it was closed off for the first twenty or thirty years of my life.

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Finding my first spanking site (after a late night "what the hell" search) was not only a game-changer,  it was a life-changer.  For so many years, I thought I had to be the only one, that there had to be something wrong with me.  Finding a community of people who understood, who 'got it,' gave me a sense of self-acceptance and eventually, outright pride.  Yes, this is who I am and there's nothing wrong with that.  To the contrary, that's pretty flippin' cool.

I met my husband on a site. The process of growth from that wide-eyed newbie to who I am now has taught me a great deal and provided me friendships and relationships that have lasted going on 2 decades.

To me, the trust and intimacy of the connection is singular.  The sensory input is singular.

Spanking has made me who I am in many ways, and I consider myself very fortunate.

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Wow,  redzonedefense:  Like you I had eye opening moment on line;  I thought I was the only wife in the world who spanked like a little girl over my husband knee. Then in about 1997 I discover the internet spanking sites.   And I was shocked to find i was not the only one.  

For me it hard to describe but a punishment spanking is about love, (hated the punishment spanking like a person should) but always felt the were deserved and were fair.   I could tell spanking helped me deep to be a better person and wife.   When I was spanked hard,  I felt very very LOVED.   To spank that hard, he cares deeply about our relationship and about me.  Because I hated them, they were very motivational, for me to do better.    My Mother once remarked, "marriage has really helped you to mature into a good woman."   She never knew that spanking had a large roll in that.   I say punishment spanking bring a husband and wife closer together in many ways. 

I also got erotic spanking at other times- they were fun and made us both hot and horny for some great sex to follow. 

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To me spanking provides an emotional release, and a coping mechanism for anxiety, that  nothing else can provide. Fortunately for me, at least, it is not the connection to another person that is the critical part; but the physical sensations, sounds, emotional feelings of the actual spanking itself. It gives me a sense of peace and calm and enables me to focus on the moment in a way that nothing else comes close to.

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@StrictGent brought up a good point about spankos knowing him in some ways better than his own family does.  I hadn’t thought of that but can vouch for the same. Definitely!

I also like that “Oh sh**!” feeling of, “I did it now!  I am in SO much trouble!  I’m going to get a spanking and there’s no way out of it!”  The fear and dread and excitement are intoxicating... as are the fantasies leading up to it.  But you said to consider beyond the eroticism, so I’ll just wrap up with that.  Spanking has a certain pull on me that nothing else quite does.

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When my girlfriend now wife of close to 20 years found out that I had a strong interest in spanking ,she didn't hesitate to share to my interest. She did say to me " that you obviously still need a strict mommy in your life."She felt that all my reading material needed to be a thing of the past and she was more than willing to make sure I was given real spankings when she felt l needed them. So the fact that she would act as a wife/ mommy was a bonding for us. My wife has put structure in my life , rules she makes needs to be followed. The fact that my wife cares enough every Sunday to give me a very personal Punishment such as a hand spanking shows her caring and love for me,even though in some ways it feels like a mommy/son relationship. Spanking has bonded us as a couple . Also when I showed my wife this site she was interested in joining and likes conversing with other members .  My wife enjoys giving me a good spanking more than I like receiving them and she had no interest in spanking before she met me. Spanking Is a important activity in our marriage and it reconfirms who wears the pants and who better obey.

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I love the intimacy and trust on an emotional level. And on the physical level, I love the feel of a round firm bottom under my hand at the sight of that little squirm that comes when the intensity increases.

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The closeness of it all for sure. It brings a closeness like nothing else can. The emotions are just amazing. When I am being spanked and my spanker is laying into me with a serious scolding, I am sobbing big time. I cry when being spanked both for the release and because I'm saddened that I've so greatly disappointed my spanker. And after the session...ohh...the hugging and consoling....words just can't describe it 

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2 hours ago, F/m_Spanking_only said:

The closeness of it all for sure. It brings a closeness like nothing else can. The emotions are just amazing. When I am being spanked and my spanker is laying into me with a serious scolding, I am sobbing big time. I cry when being spanked both for the release and because I'm saddened that I've so greatly disappointed my spanker. And after the session...ohh...the hugging and consoling....words just can't describe it 

You nailed it exactly!

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I'm in the same camp as @StrictGent and @F/m_Spanking_only. It's the closeness, the bond I feel with fellow spankos, a few of whom have become close friends outside of SN. Those of us wired this way understand a deep and intimate part of each other that our friends and families don't grasp, or even know about. And the act of spanking itself, done respectfully and with caring, deepens this bond and mutual connection. 

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I'm not sure I understand why, but spanking brings out feelings and emotions like nothing else I know of. The emotional release of just the spanking itself even is indescribable. 

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2 hours ago, selfsp12 said:

I'm not sure I understand why, but spanking brings out feelings and emotions like nothing else I know of. The emotional release of just the spanking itself even is indescribable. 

Yes, that too.

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On 4/21/2021 at 12:51 PM, KentuckyGuy said:

The intimacy and the caring.

i would like to echo @KentuckyGuy —- the physical intimacy of the contact in the OTK position, the visual intimacy of my naked form being seen by my Husband, and the caring as my butt and hole are worked to a point just shy of crying. There is also a relationship intimacy of a shared daily experience and ritual.

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Dominance/submission is the #1 sexual fantasy in the world. I believe there is an element of spanking that plays into that, even if it is not done with a sexual partner. I had a conversation yesterday with a SN friend of mine and I said power exchange can be an intoxicating feeling. And some people can enjoy that from both sides of the paddle.

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The intimate gift of power exchange, both for the giver and the receiver ...

The vulnerability of the spankee, and the care and concern of the spanker ...

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The vulnerability and trust. Testing boundaries and pushing them to learn a lesson or release some tension/emotions. I tend to block out my emotions to protect myself, so the pain of a spanking lets me feel fear and sadness and all of that in a safe, comfortable setting. There's no better feeling than being over the spanker's knee, except for laying on his chest afterward and fighting back the tears. I'd love for domestic discipline to be part of my relationships for those reasons, a girl can dream lol. 

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  • 1 month later...
On 4/21/2021 at 11:09 PM, jelena53 said:

Wow,  redzonedefense:  Like you I had eye opening moment on line;  I thought I was the only wife in the world who spanked like a little girl over my husband knee. Then in about 1997 I discover the internet spanking sites.   And I was shocked to find i was not the only one.  

For me it hard to describe but a punishment spanking is about love, (hated the punishment spanking like a person should) but always felt the were deserved and were fair.   I could tell spanking helped me deep to be a better person and wife.   When I was spanked hard,  I felt very very LOVED.   To spank that hard, he cares deeply about our relationship and about me.  Because I hated them, they were very motivational, for me to do better.    My Mother once remarked, "marriage has really helped you to mature into a good woman."   She never knew that spanking had a large roll in that.   I say punishment spanking bring a husband and wife closer together in many ways. 

I also got erotic spanking at other times- they were fun and made us both hot and horny for some great sex to follow. 

Spanking is love, plain and simple.

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I like the intimacy, closeness and emotional bond from sharing this passion with another(s). I like that this interest brings me into contact with people from other countries and other walks of life, maybe even different races, faiths and religions than I would normally talk to on the reg. But most of all I like the different stories I can create for myself and others to play out in role play.  As adults we rarely get to exercise our imaginations in a way that we did as kids. It just so happens that my imagination now is X-rated and NSFW ..  oh, wait a minute, it was as a kid too!!!!!! #lifelongspanko

 

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I love that I found someone I can trust to lead. I can completely submit to his love and to his discipline while knowing I’m 100% safe (other than a sore bottom 😁). Submission is important to me, but I’ve been through too much to submit to just anyone. Knowing I’m completely comfortable being spanked by the man I chose is huge for me. If I couldn’t trust someone to give him the authority to spank me, he wouldn’t have been the person I chose to be with. 

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