Jump to content
Create New...

I thinks what's keeping me sane is driving me crazy


Recommended Posts

OK.  maybe sane and crazy are a bit strong, but I came to a realization that has me wondering once again 'Am I the only one?'. Not spanking, I know am not and you folks have helped me, through my posts and reading others, accept this side of me. Rather it is the reason why I self spank, and as often as I can. I am fortunate enough to have found a therapist, who I'm not sure is totally 'kink friendly', but is also not judgmental and asks good inciteful questions about this. Earlier this past week we spoke about the role spanking plays in my life; stress relief, feeling at peace, calmer, more focused, etc. That got me thinking and I realized that those are just attributes of what I'm feeling, especially after a good hard spanking, they are not the full picture. The full answer is that a spanking enables me fully let go of my emotions. Sometimes more so then others, and sometimes  it takes a hard spanking to do that and other times an easier session gets me to the same result. The problem, is that made me realize that for the past year especially, and more then that, my main coping mechanism in this crazy world has been paddling my own bottom, and probably too often, and too hard. I can't decide if that being what has helped  me cope is normal or just plain just sad or pathetic.  Please tell me I'm not the  only one for whom being spanked is a (or the) major psychological coping mechanism. Maybe it is the times we live in. The frequency and severity have definitely increased in the last year. The pain helps me let go, and that makes me feel better at least for awhile. And the period of time in which I feel better and normal, is wonderful almost beyond words. Is that crazy? Is what is keeping me sane, driving me crazy?

  • Like 1
  • Sad 1
Link to comment

I don't think that you are crazy and you are not the only one.

During my 20's, my life was very stressful, for a multitude of reasons which I'd rather not go deeply into. I craved the pain of a severe spanking constantly and the release was only temporary- like I could be spanked harshly in the morning and want another one in the afternoon. Luckily, I had a Dom who got it- he had his own personal demons and a very stressful Govn management job. He also knew how to beat me soundly! He had concerns because I'd be badly marked and want more. He devised a plan that he would spank me several times a week but it came with conditions. I was very underweight and was prescribed ensure 4 x a day, which he knew that I wasn't drinking. His deal was that every time he spanked me, I had to drink an ensure before the spanking, during and one afterwards and he was to observe that I had done that ( I got caught feeding one to the plants!) Also, if he caned me one time then it was a leather implement the next. He refused to cane me until the cane stripes became only bruising. Any cut skin, in a previous scene, also meant a leather implement. Before anyone thinks that he was a bad Dom, he did this because he knew that I would only go elsewhere if he didn' t and he knew that I'd be reckless about it and put myself in dangerous situations. He only did this because he cared for me. 

As you can see you are not the only one... that pain can become a kind of addiction. I'm not like that now and can go for months without ( not by choice!) Also, the things that were stressing me out, have gone. I think that you need to deal with the root cause to curb this a bit ( if you want to.) As long as you are not getting infections or doing any serious damage then in physical terms you are fine. It's the emotional side that you should be more concerned about. Stick with your therapist, she might be able to help with other coping strategies. Mine was only a problem because I got infections and wasn't letting my body repair afterwards. There are definitely unhealthier coping methods: dinking, drugs, Domestic violence etc. You are certainly not insane but if it's causing you physical or emotional problems then you might want to explore that. Just do what you think is right for you and stop labelling yourself😀

  • Like 3
Link to comment

@sassylittleThank you. I'm glad you had some a thoughtful, and clever, dom when you needed him. This started to bother me because when I first figured it out, it seemed so easy, then I realized the significance and importance spanking has in my life right now, and got concerned. I am very careful. No skin breaks or anything like that. If anything the only physical concern I have is the skin getting tougher if I continue to spank hard. It's already tougher then it used to be, but the spankings still hurt even if the after effects do not last as long, which I think is normal and not a concern. With work and the world, this escape is very important and no other activity I know of provides that same release, at least for me; walking, reading, tv or movies, exercycle, etc. We are working on other outlets, but so far nothing beats a good sound spanking.

I don't think it is the pain itself, it is the emotional release the spanking gives. The more stressed, it seems, the harder the spanking needs to be. On calmer days, a moderate spanking works well also.

Link to comment

@selfsp12 If it works keep doing it, for now. If you find another stress release avenue, you can re-evaluate then. Just take care of your skin- hot baths and moisturise lots. You do not want leather butt. If you are having a good day, take the day off from spanking. If you get leather butt or damage the nerve endings, then you are going to have to spank a lot harder for the same result.

Link to comment

Thank you @sassylittle. I appreciate you honesty and your replies are always well thought out. For now it works, and I'm going to follow the adage, if it works don't fix it. At least or now. Hopefully things will settle down and then I can go from there.

Link to comment
Just now, selfsp12 said:

Thank you @sassylittle. I appreciate you honesty and your replies are always well thought out. For now it works, and I'm going to follow the adage, if it works don't fix it. At least or now. Hopefully things will settle down and then I can go from there.

You are welcome. Have fun!

Link to comment

Not crazy!  I can relate.  I keep a lot inside,  and spanking is a way for me to let go.  It unburdens me and clears my mind.  It’s an emotional release; a break from real life stress.  

I tried and failed at self spanking.  I just couldn’t get there on my own.  Sure, I felt the warmth and sting when I spanked myself but I was also focusing on administering the spanking.  However, when I’m with a spanker in an intimate space, that I know and trust, I can lose myself in the moment.  I focus solely on the physical sensation.  
 

Afterwards.  Life is good.  As you said, feeling better, normal, wonderful beyond words.  It is bliss...being motivated, renewed, energized.  
 

As for is what’s keeping you sane, driving you crazy.  While I may prefer more frequent spanking sessions to keep the good feeling going, more is not always better.  So I try to find a balance to it; reasonable limits and moderation.  Of course this can be hard to define and therefore different for everyone.  But I want and need to experience a variety of emotions (both positive and negative) because I think they serve an important purpose in life.  As such I look for ways ways to deal with my feelings and work through them aside from spanking.  These are definitely challenging times.  

  • Like 4
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment

@Jenna1220 you are quite right on all counts. I am fortunate, I guess, that self-spanking does enable me to let go like that. I don't know how a trusted partner would influence that dynamic, but for myself at least I'll count that self-spanking works as one of the blessings in my life. No where near the same plain as my wife and children, job, etc, but important nonetheless. You are absolutely right about moderation. I have to find ways to spank less, or at least for more moderate spankings to get me to the same  point. Thank you. All of your perspectives and @sassylittle's  are helping me keep this in perspective.

This really is a unique community here on SN.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
On 4/11/2021 at 9:47 PM, Jenna1220 said:

Not crazy!  I can relate.  I keep a lot inside,  and spanking is a way for me to let go.  It unburdens me and clears my mind.  It’s an emotional release; a break from real life stress.  

I tried and failed at self spanking.  I just couldn’t get there on my own.  Sure, I felt the warmth and sting when I spanked myself but I was also focusing on administering the spanking.  However, when I’m with a spanker in an intimate space, that I know and trust, I can lose myself in the moment.  I focus solely on the physical sensation.  
 

Afterwards.  Life is good.  As you said, feeling better, normal, wonderful beyond words.  It is bliss...being motivated, renewed, energized.  
 

As for is what’s keeping you sane, driving you crazy.  While I may prefer more frequent spanking sessions to keep the good feeling going, more is not always better.  So I try to find a balance to it; reasonable limits and moderation.  Of course this can be hard to define and therefore different for everyone.  But I want and need to experience a variety of emotions (both positive and negative) because I think they serve an important purpose in life.  As such I look for ways ways to deal with my feelings and work through them aside from spanking.  These are definitely challenging times.  

You have such a good mind and a humble way about you, Jenna. SN needs more posts from you. :) 

Link to comment

What a great topic! I feel exactly the same way. Since i have been unable to find a disciplinarian, paddling myself is what keeps me sane.  But i do notice it’s in times of great stress where I’m more “crazy”

  • Like 2
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Write what you are looking for and press enter or click the search icon to begin your search