Jump to content
Spanking Needs Forums

I feel ashamed


Recommended Posts

But I'm in love ( although ) she doesn't know it with a younger but very dominant female colleague of mine. She's got a partner. Life is a bit easier as I like him as a friend as well. I would never tell her but my feelings are real. Oh well. I think I'm destined not to have any sort of relationship. I'm too much of a freak. But I know my heart is genuine. 

Link to post
3 minutes ago, ukspanko said:

But I'm in love ( although ) she doesn't know it with a younger but very dominant female colleague of mine. She's got a partner. Life is a bit easier as I like him as a friend as well. I would never tell her but my feelings are real. Oh well. I think I'm destined not to have any sort of relationship. I'm too much of a freak. But I know my heart is genuine. 

Ooo that's a problem, dicey there. I've had those work-crushes too, best just to let them wither on the vine.

You could lose your job, easy.

 

Link to post
2 minutes ago, St.George said:

Ooo that's a problem, dicey there. I've had those work-crushes too, best just to let them wither on the vine.

You could lose your job, easy.

 

Yeah I'm always professional. I won't even socialise with colleagues whoever they are out of work. I like them very much but don't consider any of them friends. I'm making plans to leave anyway as I want to be a manager elsewhere and have staff who fear me. I learned that from my last manager. He was a bastard but he got things done. I'm done with being a kind person - it gets you nowhere in life.

Link to post
4 minutes ago, ukspanko said:

Yeah I'm always professional. I won't even socialise with colleagues whoever they are out of work. I like them very much but don't consider any of them friends. I'm making plans to leave anyway as I want to be a manager elsewhere and have staff who fear me. I learned that from my last manager. He was a bastard but he got things done. I'm done with being a kind person - it gets you nowhere in life.

Actually, being kind wins social points, just be noticed being kind. I have learned that over time... I am an older fellow than you. By a little bit.

Don't be a bastard if you don't need to be. Be a bastard if you need to be. The focus should be on getting stuff done, yes. But if kindness does not lose anything, why not introduce kindness, and win the social points with people? Think of it as a free bonus, which it is.

Also- no harm socializing with coworkers- just having sex with them--or any kind of sexual foreplay or talk -- is dangerous.

Thank God I never got in trouble, but that is only because I kept my g.d. mouth zipped -- and my pants zipped.

In my mind I have had all kinds of sexy, spanky imaginings all the time. 😈

  • Like 1
Link to post

No need to be ashamed but work colleague relationships should be a "no go." I have never had one and never would. It would be so awkward having to work with an ex. Being kind does work but only if you don't become a doormat. Don't let life make you jaded... the world needs more kind and genuine people. You've just fallen in love with the wrong person, that doesn't mean that there isn't the right person out there. We are all freaks, in our own way, and you just need to find your fellow freaks. Don't give up or become hard and jaded.

  • Like 1
Link to post

Just need to find the right woman, perhaps focus your search on woman that are a bit direct. sometimes that is a good indication the may be into spanking.  Sounds like you need a good one for your little attitude.

  • Like 1
Link to post

Relationships etc aside just recalling the time she made me laugh. Her previous job ( where I didn't know her at the time ) was manager at a local bookstore. I turned up ( as a customer ) one day whilst she was frantically vacuuming and she ran over my feet. We both laughed. Years later at work when I'd done something to slightly annoy her - probably lose a pencil she said "just behave or I shall get the vacuum cleaner out again !"

 

Link to post

I was sexually assaulted in public when I was 17 so in all honesty just the thought of a deep meaningful relationship is non existent for me. I can and do feel deep affection for certain people but I don't want anyone getting too close. I've therapy for what I went through and I can cope now in terms of no longer drinking to excess and self-harming but I can't ever fully trust anyone again. Even all those years on. I think the second I feel an emotional connection to someone I just panic. 

Link to post
35 minutes ago, ukspanko said:

I was sexually assaulted in public when I was 17 so in all honesty just the thought of a deep meaningful relationship is non existent for me. I can and do feel deep affection for certain people but I don't want anyone getting too close. I've therapy for what I went through and I can cope now in terms of no longer drinking to excess and self-harming but I can't ever fully trust anyone again. Even all those years on. I think the second I feel an emotional connection to someone I just panic. 

In all seriousness I think Dr Laura has a book that might help you. Life is far too short not to move on.  Is it really fair to someone that might be a perfect match for you never to give them a chance?

Link to post
37 minutes ago, NewEr said:

 Is it really fair to someone that might be a perfect match for you never to give them a chance

 My concern is that I’d hurt them - not physically I’ll add but just by being emotionally close. I think in some ways it’s why I’m into spanking. By focusing on the physical pain I can detach elsewhere. 

Link to post

I have read many of your posts/poems/stories.  The reason I read your posts and don’t skip past them, is you are always sincere, forthcoming, kind and genuine.  I hope you can stop thinking of yourself as a freak and see your good qualities.  You aren’t a freak.  Sometimes we just have feelings for a person we can’t be with.  One day you’ll find your special person. Usually this happens when you aren’t even looking.  I understand what happened in your past makes it hard to trust.  I went through a traumatic event decades ago.  It’s crazy how it can effect us so many years later.  I hope you meet someone who makes you comfortable to be yourself.  

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to post
  • 4 weeks later...

I have a vague sense of what you're going through, but not exactly. I have a former coworker I still see sometimes, who I most definitely have strong feelings for, and who knows I have strong feelings for her.  However, she's already told me that as long as I'm married she won't touch me, and I'm not planning on ever getting divorced, so we keep it platonic.  She's never denied having feelings for me, either, even when I pressed her on the issue once.  She just said she didn't want to talk about it, because it doesn't matter because I'm married.  So maybe she does, maybe she doesn't.  I honestly don't know.

I think my wife only allows me around her because she knows she'd never sleep with a married man.  She also may not know about the feelings I have for her, but since I have no intention of ever acting on them, no harm no foul.  We'll sometimes go out for dinner and drinks, and we'll hug at the end, but that's about it.  I thought it would be an intolerable situation, and at first, it was extremely difficult - especially when she was still working with me, because I'd have to see her every day and often work closely with her.  But eventually, I just had to admit to myself that nothing was ever going to come of it, but I liked her too much to stop hanging out with her.  Now that she's moved on to another employer, it's easier to disconnect a bit, but if she was still here, I'm sure I would still be having a lot of anxiety as a result.  I hope you're able to work through this and find someone you want to be with who also wants the same.

Link to post
On 4/10/2021 at 6:20 PM, ukspanko said:

Yeah I'm always professional. I won't even socialise with colleagues whoever they are out of work. I like them very much but don't consider any of them friends. I'm making plans to leave anyway as I want to be a manager elsewhere and have staff who fear me. I learned that from my last manager. He was a bastard but he got things done. I'm done with being a kind person - it gets you nowhere in life.

Speaking as a member of staff somewhere, the bosses that are bastards get no respect and end up with a higher turn over of staff ad less productivity and loyalty the bosses that are fair and treat workers with respect get far more positive results.

Link to post
3 hours ago, littlecharlotte said:

Speaking as a member of staff somewhere, the bosses that are bastards get no respect and end up with a higher turn over of staff ad less productivity and loyalty the bosses that are fair and treat workers with respect get far more positive results.

Yes you’re right. The thing is the person who bullied me and others has left me feeling bitter. I need to get my anger out somehow. Being psychologically kicked the day after a loved ones funeral isn’t something that’s easy to get over but I will.

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...