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Need help understanding “littles”


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So this is a sincere question that was prompted by reading another thread about someone who lost her disciplinarian and the discussion turned from that into a (somewhat heated) debate about the responsibilities of disciplinarians vs littles.  I stayed out of it because it wasn’t my battle, but it did leave me wondering something...  What exactly constitutes a “little” and is their disciplinarian entirely responsible for their behavior? 

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4 minutes ago, SpudStateSpanky said:

So this is a sincere question that was prompted by reading another thread about someone who lost her disciplinarian and the discussion turned from that into a (somewhat heated) debate about the responsibilities of disciplinarians vs littles.  I stayed out of it because it wasn’t my battle, but it did leave me wondering something...  What exactly constitutes a “little” and is their disciplinarian entirely responsible for their behavior? 

A little is some-one who is an adult but has an inner child. Some regress to a younger age; some role-play a younger age and some just like to let their inner-child come out now again. Some are little 24/7 and some are adult a lot of the time and are little at other times. I am not a 24/7 little and work, do adult activities the majority of the time, like you and every-one else who is not a little.

Is your domme entirely responsible for your behaviour? I guess no so that's just like us. We are all adults and the only person entirely responsible for our behaviour is US. Some caregivers, Daddies and mummies want a complete power exchange dynamic, again just like non-littles. The ones who do it 24/7 have the same type of relationship as a DD couple. The only difference is that one is a little and the other is an adult sub. Out of the ones who are 24/7 some caregivers/littles want that little to be little 24/7, others a mix of little/ adult. Each relationship has it's own terms and it's what each couple wants. I could never be little 24/7... I like adult things too but regressing part-time is how I little. Some littles are sexual, others not.

And FYI, I don't think the thread you mentioned was about little v's disciplinarian- would you like it if your Domme just ghosted you? I doubt any person regardless of their role would like that. Any ER, Daddy, mummy, Domme or whatever has the responsibility to communicate with their counterpart and it's just good manners/human decency to not just ghost some-one. No-one said that a Disciplinarian is entirely responsible for their little's behaviour.

 

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I should of asked this, for better clarification.  Many spankees revert back to a younger age in their mind when they’re being spanked.  How does this differ from someone who calls themselves a “little”?

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17 minutes ago, sassylittle said:

And FYI, I don't think the thread you mentioned was about little v's disciplinarian- would you like it if your Domme just ghosted you? I doubt any person regardless of their role would like that. Any ER, Daddy, mummy, Domme or whatever has the responsibility to communicate with their counterpart and it's just good manners/human decency to not just ghost some-one. No-one said that a Disciplinarian is entirely responsible for their little's behaviour.

Actually, it did transition into that toward the end.  And I’m not interested in debating that on this thread, as I have no idea what happened between the two of them, and we’ve never heard his side of the story.  And, that’s not what this thread is about.

Thank you though for the explanation of what a little is.  That was helpful and it’s appreciated.  Tim 

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1 minute ago, SpudStateSpanky said:

I should of asked this, for better clarification.  Many spankees revert back to a younger age in their mind when they’re being spanked.  How does this differ from someone who calls themselves a “little”?

Yes spanking his a childish punishment and for most of us it does bring back child memories . When my wife gives me a a spanking I must always call her mommy. My wife and says that a physically grown man that needs to be spanked by his wife , should be address their wife as mommy and should be treated like a juvenile in the Marriage.

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12 minutes ago, SpudStateSpanky said:

I should of asked this, for better clarification.  Many spankees revert back to a younger age in their mind when they’re being spanked.  How does this differ from someone who calls themselves a “little”?

Because most spankees are being spanked as an adult. If you revert back to a 6 year old, for example, that makes you a little. If you are 30 year old and you are 30 when you are being spanked then you are an adult ee and not a little. There's a big difference between it being a childish punishment and regressing or role-playing a younger age.

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Helpful topic! I actually asked @sassylittle a similar question in chat one night because I was curious. It is interesting to learn more about other spankos and what they like or dislike. Talking to her has helped me better understand the littles in our group. 

I am a brat (sometimes), but not a little. At this point in my life I am a 42-year old woman with bratty tendencies, but I never feel like a child and I don't regress in any way. I don't associate spanking with childhood or anything like that. Spanking, to me, is very much an adult activity (yes, we are all adults - I am using the term in the adult vs. little sense). Are we confused yet? LOL

No matter what the relationship, it still consists of adults. A little can still only be a little in the context of the relationship because - legally and to the rest of the outside world - they are still adults. I don't treat a little as anything other than an adult - because they are not "my little."

Both the Top and bottom have to set the boundaries in their spanko partnerships. They should both be careful of each other - though care might be demonstrated in myriad ways. It doesn't matter if you are a little, a bottom, a sub, a daddy/mommy, a Top, or a Dom... if you form a close relationship, you can be hurt by it and that is hard no matrer what. 

 

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7 minutes ago, rubyredd said:

Helpful topic! I actually asked @sassylittle a similar question in chat one night because I was curious. It is interesting to learn more about other spankos and what they like or dislike. Talking to her has helped me better understand the littles in our group. 

I am a brat (sometimes), but not a little. At this point in my life I am a 42-year old woman with bratty tendencies, but I never feel like a child and I don't regress in any way. I don't associate spanking with childhood or anything like that. Spanking, to me, is very much an adult activity (yes, we are all adults - I am using the term in the adult vs. little sense). Are we confused yet? LOL

No matter what the relationship, it still consists of adults. A little can still only be a little in the context of the relationship because - legally and to the rest of the outside world - they are still adults. I don't treat a little as anything other than an adult - because they are not "my little."

Both the Top and bottom have to set the boundaries in their spanko partnerships. They should both be careful of each other - though care might be demonstrated in myriad ways. It doesn't matter if you are a little, a bottom, a sub, a daddy/mommy, a Top, or a Dom... if you form a close relationship, you can be hurt by it and that is hard no matrer what. 

 

Thank you, Ruby!  Well said.

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2 hours ago, sassylittle said:

And if you genuinely want to know more then here is a link. None of the links are perfect  but I'm sure it will give you and anyone interested a rough idea:

https://ddlgplayground.com/blogs/the-playground/what-is-ddlg

I did read this.  It was good, and thanks.  Sometimes it’s just nice to talk to those who are the real deal, to get their insights too.

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2 hours ago, sassylittle said:

Because most spankees are being spanked as an adult. If you revert back to a 6 year old, for example, that makes you a little. If you are 30 year old and you are 30 when you are being spanked then you are an adult ee and not a little. There's a big difference between it being a childish punishment and regressing or role-playing a younger age.

So are you saying that if a person reverts to being 6 or 10 or whatever when they’re spanked, they’re a little?  What is they don’t always revert, and what if they are very much an adult in their everyday life, except when they occasionally feel like a younger age when they’re getting a spanking?

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Just now, SpudStateSpanky said:

So are you saying that if a person reverts to being 6 or 10 or whatever when they’re spanked, they’re a little?  What is they don’t always revert, and what if they are very much an adult in their everyday life, except when they occasionally feel like a younger age when they’re getting a spanking?

I'm glad you liked the link. I thought I would provide the link because I can only talk about being a little from my perspective. Within every group or sub-group of people there's differences between them. There are littles, where despite me being little I don't understand very well and I'm sure that you find that with some ee's. 

Your above question, I think it's a complex answer and I don't have it! I'm very much an adult, in my every day life, but I'm still a little. Most people wouldn't even know that I am a little. If you didn't know that I was a little, would you be able to tell? I can regress when being spanked and with a Daddy, I'd hope to be little in other activities and more than just spanking. A lot of adult ee's stay within an adult mind-set whilst they are being spanked... they don't feel a younger age. Does that make some-one a little when they regress to a younger age, whilst being spanked? I really don't know and I don't think it really matters. People are more complex than the titles they assume so if they don't feel that makes them a little, then they don't have to class themselves as such. People should just be who they are. I'm sorry that I can't provide a more definitive answer than that but I'd be lying if I tried.

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I think that IS the answer. If you want to consider yourself a little, you can. But, many bottoms feel like a naughty child when getting spanked - but do not feel like a "little."

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27 minutes ago, rubyredd said:

I think that IS the answer. If you want to consider yourself a little, you can. But, many bottoms feel like a naughty child when getting spanked - but do not feel like a "little."

Yes!!!  I can relate to this, and even then, it’s only sometimes, depending what I’ve done wrong that I’m being punished for.  I’m definitely not a little, and I converse with a few other subs here who experience the same thing, and I’m pretty sure they’re not littles either.  But it helps to understand littles, since we have quite a few, it seems, here on the forum.

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