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I’ve got an issue I’m trying to overcome and hopefully someone here can offer up some advise.

My wife is my ER. She does a good job at giving a spanking. For us, we find it’s a release from regular life. We bond both sexually and emotionally during my spanking sessions. At times my wife tells me a spanking has been earned and will be given. Other times I will ask for one if I feel I may be stepping out of line. Almost always we discuss just what the punishment will involve. After she spanks, we almost always have sex. She often says she wants to finish off the evening by paddling once more before bed after sex is done. The problem is I always weasel out of it with a host of excuses. How do I overcome this and take another round? It seems like something psychologically temporarily turns off once an orgasm is had.

She has spanked me without any sexual activity involved before or after. In those sessions she has spanked me as many as three times in one night. I really need to overcome this so she doesn’t loose interest!

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13 minutes ago, Busted4fun said:

I’ve got an issue I’m trying to overcome and hopefully someone here can offer up some advise.

My wife is my ER. She does a good job at giving a spanking. For us, we find it’s a release from regular life. We bond both sexually and emotionally during my spanking sessions. At times my wife tells me a spanking has been earned and will be given. Other times I will ask for one if I feel I may be stepping out of line. Almost always we discuss just what the punishment will involve. After she spanks, we almost always have sex. She often says she wants to finish off the evening by paddling once more before bed after sex is done. The problem is I always weasel out of it with a host of excuses. How do I overcome this and take another round? It seems like something psychologically temporarily turns off once an orgasm is had.

She has spanked me without any sexual activity involved before or after. In those sessions she has spanked me as many as three times in one night. I really need to overcome this so she doesn’t loose interest!

You need to find a way to compartmentalise the spankings. Men are designed differently than females. Once you have orgasmed, there's not the sexual energy. Us females only need a few mins break at most! Yeah, we do get worn out eventually and there are limits! Once you've cum spankings are going to be more painful. If you really want to go further then you are going to have to get her to make you. Maybe, have her make a rule that you need to have a spanking before bed or no sex next time! Not a punishment spanking per se but a punishment if you don't take it.

Not sure why she's going to lose interest thou. You seem to be both having an active spanking/sex life. If you really don't want them, you are going to have to explain to her the difference between your sexual needs. Maybe, make the spankings and sex after happen more often to make up for her wanting to give you spankings at night. It's really down to communication. Sit her down and brain storm a solution which works for you both. Tell her that you fear that she will lose interest if you don't do this. Your relationship is about compromise and if you are not open with her then she doesn't know your fears. 

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34 minutes ago, sassylittle said:

You need to find a way to compartmentalise the spankings. Men are designed differently than females. Once you have orgasmed, there's not the sexual energy. Us females only need a few mins break at most! Yeah, we do get worn out eventually and there are limits! Once you've cum spankings are going to be more painful. If you really want to go further then you are going to have to get her to make you. Maybe, have her make a rule that you need to have a spanking before bed or no sex next time! Not a punishment spanking per se but a punishment if you don't take it.

Not sure why she's going to lose interest thou. You seem to be both having an active spanking/sex life. If you really don't want them, you are going to have to explain to her the difference between your sexual needs. Maybe, make the spankings and sex after happen more often to make up for her wanting to give you spankings at night. It's really down to communication. Sit her down and brain storm a solution which works for you both. Tell her that you fear that she will lose interest if you don't do this. Your relationship is about compromise and if you are not open with her then she doesn't know your fears. 

Hi, and thanks for the reply. When I said loose interest, I meant in giving firm spankings. She was very vanilla when we met. I told her my needs and led her to the information about adult spanking. The first few frustrated her because she never did it before. Over the years she’s developed a great technique for giving, and more importantly an interest in doing it. 

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1 minute ago, Busted4fun said:

Hi, and thanks for the reply. When I said loose interest, I meant in giving firm spankings. She was very vanilla when we met. I told her my needs and led her to the information about adult spanking. The first few frustrated her because she never did it before. Over the years she’s developed a great technique for giving, and more importantly an interest in doing it. 

I don't know if you have a submissive personality or not. I'd do it because my Dom/ Daddy ordered me to. I wouldn't argue with him about it or make excuses. Maybe try to get into sub mode and do it cause she tells you to. I'm not submissive 24/7 but I don't have that type of relationship... if I did, then that's what I signed up for and would do as I'm told!

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My question is: why does she want to give you another round? Is this something that you agreed to ahead of time?

And if it's truly a punishment spanking that she has decided you need, then maybe part of the punishment is you take care of her sexually, but you don't get to finish. Then you won't mind the second round before bed so much and she will feel more empowered and satisfied.

18 hours ago, sassylittle said:

 

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How would you feel if she got really firm and stood her ground?  Do you guys have a safe word in play?  I know for me, some of my best, most cathartic and bonding spankings have been When I have resisted or asked him not to and he did anyway.  We have a safe word so if I was absolutely against it I could have safe worded but I didn't which let him know it was in fact consensual, despite my objections.  

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1 hour ago, countspankulot said:

My question is: why does she want to give you another round? Is this something that you agreed to ahead of time?

And if it's truly a punishment spanking that she has decided you need, then maybe part of the punishment is you take care of her sexually, but you don't get to finish. Then you won't mind the second round before bed so much and she will feel more empowered and satisfied.

 

The second round is usually discussed ahead of time. She doesn’t follow through if I give one ounce of resistance. 

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37 minutes ago, Megthe said:

How would you feel if she got really firm and stood her ground?  Do you guys have a safe word in play?  I know for me, some of my best, most cathartic and bonding spankings have been When I have resisted or asked him not to and he did anyway.  We have a safe word so if I was absolutely against it I could have safe worded but I didn't which let him know it was in fact consensual, despite my objections.  

I’m pretty sure this is part of the problem. Not to cast blame on her, but she doesn’t come across as stern enough when she tries. We’ve discussed this outside of the spanking sessions but it doesn’t seem to get resolved. The bigger issue I’m trying to overcome is why I can’t bring myself to submit again until the next day. 

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8 minutes ago, Busted4fun said:

I’m pretty sure this is part of the problem. Not to cast blame on her, but she doesn’t come across as stern enough when she tries. We’ve discussed this outside of the spanking sessions but it doesn’t seem to get resolved. The bigger issue I’m trying to overcome is why I can’t bring myself to submit again until the next day. 

I have this problem with my hubbs.  Most of the time if I resist, even playfully, he caves.  Do you REALLY not want it?  Have you tried bratting when she begins to cave?  I'd say talk to her about it again. "If you think deserve or need it don't take no for an answer.  No, I don't want to, nah I'm good, are NOT safe words"  

As far as you being a better ee, I struggle with this as well.  Have you ever submitted to the second spanking?  What if you commit, to yourself, to submitting to it next time, even if you don't want to. Just tonsee how it is?  And disciss with her why she wants to do the second spanking and why it isn't working for you.  I think there is a lot of trial and error when it comes to figuring out what works for both people

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37 minutes ago, Megthe said:

I have this problem with my hubbs.  Most of the time if I resist, even playfully, he caves.  Do you REALLY not want it?  Have you tried bratting when she begins to cave?  I'd say talk to her about it again. "If you think deserve or need it don't take no for an answer.  No, I don't want to, nah I'm good, are NOT safe words"  

As far as you being a better ee, I struggle with this as well.  Have you ever submitted to the second spanking?  What if you commit, to yourself, to submitting to it next time, even if you don't want to. Just tonsee how it is?  And disciss with her why she wants to do the second spanking and why it isn't working for you.  I think there is a lot of trial and error when it comes to figuring out what works for both people

I was told I am to be spanked again tonight. I’ve been telling myself I must do what she says no matter what. Hopefully she will not cave to any resistance I may give and force it. 

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On 4/5/2021 at 3:19 PM, sassylittle said:

I don't know if you have a submissive personality or not. I'd do it because my Dom/ Daddy ordered me to. I wouldn't argue with him about it or make excuses. Maybe try to get into sub mode and do it cause she tells you to. I'm not submissive 24/7 but I don't have that type of relationship... if I did, then that's what I signed up for and would do as I'm told!

Well, last night I took your advise and it worked. It took a lot of mental focus, plus all day reminding myself that I must do what she wants after sex. She also was more forceful than usual (we had a discussion about it earlier in the day). There was definitely a different feeling mentally. It seemed way more embarrassing than usual. 

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2 hours ago, Busted4fun said:

Well, last night I took your advise and it worked. It took a lot of mental focus, plus all day reminding myself that I must do what she wants after sex. She also was more forceful than usual (we had a discussion about it earlier in the day). There was definitely a different feeling mentally. It seemed way more embarrassing than usual. 

Glad it worked for you😀

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