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Different Ideas About “Switches”


SwitchWithMe

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Being a spanker or spankee is really pretty straight forward. You get spankings or give spankings. While some might switch once in a blue moon, it is largely black and white.

I have always identified as being a switch, but after all these years it’s dawned on me that people have very different ideas as to what that means.

In a different post, somebody made the assumption that as I switch I would always want to spank and be spanked at the same time. I guess an implication of that would be wanting to connect with another switch, of if in a spanking friendship with a spankee— needing to find a spanker on the side. And vice versa.

I’m curious... is this how most switches feel about things?

I’ve never ever sought out other switches. Sure, the idea theoretically sounds interesting. My nickname “SwitchWithMe” somewhat reflects that. I can see something like a Spencer Plan thing being interesting. Or some amazing spanking friendship. But I’ve never sought out other switches. I probably never will.

As much as I can say to myself I’ve sought out spanking friends of this or that flavor, spanker or spankee, I’ve really just made friendships with people into spanking and seen where it has gone. That is sort of how life works for me. Even in business and love. Spanking too.

So for me, being a “switch” is really being open to anything spanking-wise. Not a need to always be both a spanker and spankee at all times. Where that goes really depends on my mood, but also the people involved. The spanking friends.

I am seeing that might be a very non-standard and weird way of being a switch. I’d change my nick, but SwitchWithMe is also a play on words as I think switches are interesting. The whole ritual of it. Cutting one, stripping it down, etc. I guess, based on my track record, I’ve mostly been a spanker my whole life. I could just call myself a spanker and occasionally flip. But being a “switch” just really reflects openness and curiosity.

 

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If that's in response to what I said... where did I say that you wanted to be spanked and spank at the same time? You need to read things more carefully. I suggested making friends with other switches so that you wouldn't be so lonely. Solely because you have that in common. There's a massive difference between being friends with some-one than spanking and being spanked at the same time.

Stop reading, what you want, into what people say. No-where did I make any assumptions about how you switch.

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That is an interesting perspective @SwitchWithMe- thanks for sharing it because it is always nice to learn about other spankos. I am a bottom, but I switched for a couple of friends (many years ago now). It was not for me and I didn't get anything out of it other than the enjoyment of helping out friends. The first was a guy who spanked me also. The second was a male bottom who wanted to be spanked by someone he trusted. 

I have switch friends who are partners with other switches and they alternate roles. I have switch friends who assume one role with a specific partner and their role changes depending on the partner. 

I also like switches (the implement). 

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4 minutes ago, rubyredd said:

That is an interesting perspective @SwitchWithMe- thanks for sharing it because it is always nice to learn about other spankos. I am a bottom, but I switched for a couple of friends (many years ago now). It was not for me and I didn't get anything out of it other than the enjoyment of helping out friends. The first was a guy who spanked me also. The second was a male bottom who wanted to be spanked by someone he trusted. 

I have switch friends who are partners with other switches and they alternate roles. I have switch friends who assume one role with a specific partner and their role changes depending on the partner. 

I also like switches (the implement). 

There are so many nuances to this spanking thing. Before I started interacting with spankos online— it was all seemingly very simple. That’s Rachel. She’s into X, Y and Z.

It seems more complicated speaking through these terms online.

Switches the implement are very cool because of the ritual of it.  Very old school.

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Just now, SwitchWithMe said:

No worries. Your comment on the other post was really nice BTW.

Thanks. I have never switched so I'm keeping out of this one? Always interested in reading threads, like these, because it helps to understand people. Good luck and I hope that you get lots of responses?

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I think it has been a gift to have experience from both sides and though it may not be fore everyone, it can be very rewarding.  As you said, you can roll with just about anything.  I agree that there can be challenges.  I could not see myself switching roles quickly.  If I was in one role, I would need time (the better part of a day, at minimum) to be able to be in the other.  Headspace and time to process are far too critical.

But, that may be just me,

 

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I've done a bit of switching - if I'm in the spanker role it tends to be much more of the erotic variety - having a deserving lady over my knee and warming her bottom up with lots of nice rubs in between spanks type of vibe. I'm keen on exploring this side of my spanko sexuality a bit more now :)

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Wondering if there is such a thing as situational switching?  For the most part I prefer to hold the paddle, but there have been times when I have benefited from being on the other end.  I think it all boils down to the individual.

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  • 11 months later...

Late to the game, but I just read this thread and have a question from a slightly different perspective. Awhile ago I posted a question about how self spankers see themselves - as ER's or EE's. I see myself as an EE in general, but since I do both roles am I a swtich in some ways? I enjoy getting the spanking, but I enjoy giving myself one also.

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  • 4 months later...

Im a switch because I love everything about spanking. I was a top when I started and really never thought about getting a spanking at that time. So for 5 yrs was a top. Then I met this women that was into spanking. We met in a chat room 17 yrs ago. Now for the first year I was still a top until she said one day out of the blue that she wanted to spank me. I thought about it and thought well she probably won't spank hard being it's both our first switching roles. She started with her hand but quickly switched to a hairbrush because she said her hand started to hurt. Again I was lying over her lap and she begin these light little swats. Here's where I made a mistake, I told her that kids play patty cake harder than that. Oh do they now? Let's see how hard you can play. Now this women started scolding me for all the things that I did or didn't do that she said to her is wrong. And while doing so the swats were slowly coming harder and more steady. When she was done my ass felt like I was sitting on 2 blisters. Then she said that she was going to be the top for awhile. I have to say how she spanked alone with the scolding was a huge turn on. And that awhile lasted 16 yrs. It broke my heart when she past away last fall. She was my soul mate and best friend. So I'm getting my feet wet again to see what's out there. I guess my point is what ever the situation calls for I can do it as far as a spanking goes. As long as someone leaves with a red hot behind I'm happy. And I can go a long time in one role. It would be cool to find a women that switch's. The role plays we could come up with could be amazing.

That's my butt bellow once she got through lighting a fire to it 866811399_82327_HD_exported_13496003.jpg.a5f6bd14dd450cb7f65b5dd1165b2845.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I really like the idea of the Spencer Plan, It essentially dictates that either partner in a relationship can be the spanker based on a agreed upon set of rules that either can be spanked by the other for violating. I also switch because I believe that I should be capable of taking the level of spanking that I dish out. So for those reasons I'm willing to fully explore both roles.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 3/12/2021 at 12:59 PM, SwitchWithMe said:

Being a spanker or spankee is really pretty straight forward. You get spankings or give spankings. While some might switch once in a blue moon, it is largely black and white.

I have always identified as being a switch, but after all these years it’s dawned on me that people have very different ideas as to what that means.

In a different post, somebody made the assumption that as I switch I would always want to spank and be spanked at the same time. I guess an implication of that would be wanting to connect with another switch, of if in a spanking friendship with a spankee— needing to find a spanker on the side. And vice versa.

I’m curious... is this how most switches feel about things?

I’ve never ever sought out other switches. Sure, the idea theoretically sounds interesting. My nickname “SwitchWithMe” somewhat reflects that. I can see something like a Spencer Plan thing being interesting. Or some amazing spanking friendship. But I’ve never sought out other switches. I probably never will.

As much as I can say to myself I’ve sought out spanking friends of this or that flavor, spanker or spankee, I’ve really just made friendships with people into spanking and seen where it has gone. That is sort of how life works for me. Even in business and love. Spanking too.

So for me, being a “switch” is really being open to anything spanking-wise. Not a need to always be both a spanker and spankee at all times. Where that goes really depends on my mood, but also the people involved. The spanking friends.

I am seeing that might be a very non-standard and weird way of being a switch. I’d change my nick, but SwitchWithMe is also a play on words as I think switches are interesting. The whole ritual of it. Cutting one, stripping it down, etc. I guess, based on my track record, I’ve mostly been a spanker my whole life. I could just call myself a spanker and occasionally flip. But being a “switch” just really reflects openness and curiosity.

 

I agree with your thoughts on being a switch. 

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I started out being a spankee only but when I discovered that I was not alone, and that there are many people out here needing to be spanked just as much as I was, I started switching.  I might be prejudiced but I think switches make damn fine spankers.  

And rubyredd, I like switches as implements too.

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I've always been a spanker, and, to my knowledge, all of my spankees have been nothing but spankees.  But we are now dealing with a partially non-binary culture, and perhaps switches were ahead of the game.

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So after some more thought about being a switch. It has been awhile sense I have spanked someone but I believe I can spank just as good if not better now then before. I think I learned a lot those 17 yrs of being on the bottom. For instance I think my scolding skills will definitely improve. My wife was the best at giving you a good scolding and saying just the right words while spanking you. Her role play discipline was second to none. Now I will say when or if I bottom again it will have to be the right person to continue. When I get spanked i want it in discipline form only. Scolding, hard spanks till i am caring a marked up red blazing rear. So it does have to be the right dynamic. Now as far as me spanking I do respect limits but I do like just going over the edge a little and bring her back. I believe in a good long warm up for a newbie, and depending on the situation even experienced players. I don't see me having trouble being one or the other. And like Chastener I never have been with a switch but if the opportunity comes up I wouldn't pass it by. I can imagine what kink of different role plays we could come up with. Sounds fun really. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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