Parental conflict

[Hurtbottom 12]

Hi. I’m Liz and I’m 23. My godparents are in the role of parents in my life. They have created rules for me that I am expected to follow. I’m currently extremely pissed at them. I know that to most people, these rules will sound reasonable. But I struggle with severe anxiety and depression and ptsd and ocd and this stuff is really hard for me and I feel like they are putting too much on me. I homeschool their son 3 days a week (and family movie/game night on the third day after school) . And mornings are hard for me. But they send me a confirmation text 30 minutes before pickup and I am required to respond within 5 minutes else that days visit is cancelled. When they arrive to pick me up, I am required to be outside within 5 minutes, else that days visit is cancelled. I am required to wear a mask every time I walk outside my apartment. If I forget, then no visitation for a week.  I am required to do my chores the night before and text them when I have them done by 12am at the latest. I am furious because they keep adding more and more rules!! I fucking hate rules! Call me a brat, a bitch , whatever. This is where I’m at emotionally. Anyone care to help me process through this? My main question is how do I submit to them when I think they are wrong and I am furious with them? 

[Busted4fun 70]

Are they paying you or paying for your housing? Why do you feel you need to submit? Do they assume the role of disciplinarian for you?

[sarahotk 32]

Hey Liz , I totally get where you are coming from with all the rules and expectations. I have a very similar relationship with my auntie. She sets my whole routine and governs everything I do. But I have to believe it is on my best interests and although like you I dont always think she is right I just accept things for how they are because it is my path at the moment. Try to see the rules and structure put in your life by your Godparents as a way of strengthening you as a person not something to make you feel weaker. All the rules and discipline I have to put up with, I really dont like either but I have to hope they are there for a reason. But I completely understand your situation and how difficult it can be at times.

 

 

 

[Hurtbottom 12]

@busted4fun, 
1. no

2. Because they are asking me to abide by these rules and consequences. And they want me to trust that they have good reasoning. 
 

3. I guess so...

[Hurtbottom 12]

@sarahotk, is there a time you would be free to pm back and forth? I really would like to discuss this more with you as you are the person who seems to best understand this dynamic. 

[Hurtbottom 12]

Yes, I will say that although my godparents do not call themselves disciplinarians, it very much is a disciplinarian type relationship that I have consented to. But I’m currently just not wanting to submit because I am angry and overwhelmed by lots of new rules. But yes, it is very much a discipline type relationship (platonic obviously lol, I really should not even need to spell that out lol). I have already told you what the rules are in my first post. In addition, I am also required to report to them if I break the mask rule. And all of things (well, these are the new rules but there is other stuff I have been abiding by for a long time already), are spelled out in a contract that all three of us have signed. 

[Jay.670 4]

Sarah, are you back to living with, and getting spanked by your Aunt?  It must be tough for a young adult trying to go out on her own these days, with the pandemic and its economic consequences.

[Camopaddler 5]

I understand how you feel

[johnsonsmith 0]

Hello. ..am new here