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Spankee but not submissive?


Bramblewine

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2 minutes ago, Oldbrat said:

You not the only one. I think there should be a separate category for simple spankees who are not a submissive. I am not a submissive nor slave. I don't  consider the need to be spanked as a submissive act. By contrast for myself, it is a need for sobriety and PTSD. At least for me it is therapeutic.  I see Spanking Therapy the same as P.T., O.T., and counseling.

From what I read it seems the opposite... the majority of people think that they are not submitting when being spanked. I seem to be a rarity in that sense but I'm certainly not going to get offended if some-one misidentifies me, by mistake.

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3 minutes ago, sassylittle said:

From what I read it seems the opposite... the majority of people think that they are not submitting when being spanked. I seem to be a rarity in that sense but I'm certainly not going to get offended if some-one misidentifies me, by mistake.

I am not offend as Disciplinarian or one being Disciplined. 

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It looks like a lot of people are in the same boat as you, myself included. I'm mainly spanked as punishment. Regardless of what has earned that punishment, I don't often call the spanker sir or ma'am or anything like that. It isn't out of lack of respect, I just see that as submissive simialalry to the use of mummy and daddy and that's not what I'm into.

 

I submit to being spanked how the spanker best sees fit (clothing, position, additional punishments ect.) but I cannot stand calling people mummy or daddy or anything like bedtime, diapering, submissive duties ect. It just isn't my cup of tea. 

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This is a very interesting thread and it raises, yet again, our (understandable) tendency to classify, to label and to categorise. Whilst none of these activities are essentially wrong, I do ask myself sometimes if they are really helpful. I usually get a negative answer.

As has been mentioned in other threads dealing with different topics, the importance of people getting to know each other and of bonding, to some degree, cannot be overrated. We aren't measuring people up to see if they meet a specification, we are simply trying to form meaningful friendships that can then evolve in a mutually enjoyable manner, relationships characterised by trust, respect, care, consideration and a measure of commitment to each other. Within those bounds, just about anything that is legal and freely agreed upon by both spanker and spankee is on the menu. The names/titles that each gives to the other are for each to decide and actually appear to be of little real value in determining whether or not there will be a happy, rewarding and fulfilling outcome.

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  • 7 months later...
On 1/30/2021 at 11:26 PM, RemainsNameless said:

Being a bottom in a scene and being a submissive are completely separate concepts. The Spanko! podcast has an episode where they disambiguate this pretty well. Someone on there said "a brat is a dominant trying to be a submissive". https://www.spankopodcast.com/ep0003/

 

Thanks for the listen RemainsNamless!

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I mean I'm mostly dom, however both my dom side and my sub side are masochistic. Most of the times a spanking I'm receiving is more me domming my self (topping from the bottom) for mental health reasons.

I dont think ill likely suit fully in a spanking because I almost never feel helpless. I'm always in actual control even if I'm pretending so the illusion is a waste of time. 

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I mean I'm mostly dom, however both my dom side and my sub side are masochistic. Most of the times a spanking I'm receiving is more me domming my self (topping from the bottom) for mental health reasons.

I dont think ill likely submit fully in a spanking because I almost never feel helpless. I'm always in actual control even if I'm pretending so the illusion is a waste of time. 

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I'm not really submissive either, or maybe it would be more accurate to say that I can be submissive but I'm not "a submissive." I'll call him sir and I absolutely need him to be stern and take control to really get to me emotionally and let me know I deserve the spanking, but I see it as I've asked him, as an equal, to spank me if I break a rule that I've set for myself and he'll do so as a service to me, not because he's in authority over me outside of the actual spanking.

Submitting to the punishment we've agreed on is my thing and I do want it to be serious and real, not this playing around, giggly sort of thing that some people do, but I'm not going to be living a submissive lifestyle and I'm really not into anything outside of spanking like lines, mouthsoaping, etc. 

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