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Does anyone have tips as to how to stop procrastinating and get what needs to be done DONE?  I am the QUEEN of finding anything else (more fun) to do when it comes to domestic responsibilities! This morning I even announced to my family that I was going to “get a ton done around the house today” .....here it is 3 hours later and I’ve done a puzzle, looked through some old pictures and now I’m playing on my phone...UGH!!!

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@Shy2020 I think that we are all good at procrastinating, at times😂 It really is down to self- discipline and I'm not sure that it can be taught. I used to be really "anally retentive" but have mellowed as I've gotten older. I found writing a daily list of what needed to be done and then ticking off as I went along worked great for me but like I said I was " anally retentive." I hate mess too so that really helped. Maybe try some sort of penalty system- I don't know but like you put so much money, in a jar, for every task you don't get done ( money that gets spent on something you don't really want to spend it on, like more cleaning products!) Or you can think up some other penalty. Alternatively, you just get a man with a whip to chase you around until it gets done😂

If you don't have a man, don't get one that lives with you because they are messy and produce more work! You can split the cleaning but they do such a shit job, that you end up having to clean up after them! And they complain about it too- "aw my knees, cleaning the floor." Which you find out that have used a scrubbing brush, on their hands and knees, because they haven't worked out how to use a mop🤣 If you want to keep your hair and sanity, stay away from living with one.

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I have encountered a couple of, what I refer to as "Home mgmt" issues, which were corrected with corporal discipline. One in particular & somewhat recent, was a young lady who had misplaced her passport which was needed for an approaching & already booked overseas travel. Her closets were "horrendous", which is where she suspected the passport might be. She kept "procrastinating" day after day as the travel date was approaching.  Long story...........well, let's just say that she found her passport in one of her messy closets, & in time for the travel but it took several "addressing the procrastination problem with a Sore Rear End"  before she did.   😉

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41 minutes ago, sassylittle said:

@Shy2020 I think that we are all good at procrastinating, at times😂 It really is down to self- discipline and I'm not sure that it can be taught. I used to be really "anally retentive" but have mellowed as I've gotten older. I found writing a daily list of what needed to be done and then ticking off as I went along worked great for me but like I said I was " anally retentive." I hate mess too so that really helped. Maybe try some sort of penalty system- I don't know but like you put so much money, in a jar, for every task you don't get done ( money that gets spent on something you don't really want to spend it on, like more cleaning products!) Or you can think up some other penalty. Alternatively, you just get a man with a whip to chase you around until it gets done😂

If you don't have a man, don't get one that lives with you because they are messy and produce more work! You can split the cleaning but they do such a shit job, that you end up having to clean up after them! And they complain about it too- "aw my knees, cleaning the floor." Which you find out that have used a scrubbing brush, on their hands and knees, because they haven't worked out how to use a mop🤣 If you want to keep your hair and sanity, stay away from living with one.

I live with a man who complains about my lack of self discipline all the time, but he does not do anything to help me change it. My disciplinarian will probably get on me for it, but he’s not actually here to address my behavior when I’m slacking off.

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4 minutes ago, Shy2020 said:

I live with a man who complains about my lack of self discipline all the time, but he does not do anything to help me change it. My disciplinarian will probably get on me for it, but he’s not actually here to address my behavior when I’m slacking off.

Sorry to hear that. That's not helpful- he can hardly complain if he's not willing to help. Can you do what's needed together? Or have a set time/ days when you both get on with the serious chores? Doesn't even need to be both of you doing the same chore but a set period of time, where you are both doing the serious stuff.

That's the trouble with a Disciplinarian- if the punishment isn't at the same time or very close to the behaviour, it doesn't work as well. That's why it might be helpful to come up with some self- punishment/ consequence. It has to be something adverse so that it motivates you to the tasks. Also it helps if you reward yourself when you do do them.

I hope you manage to find a way because it can't be helping your self- confidence. I know when I procrastinate I don't feel good about it.

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9 hours ago, Shy2020 said:

Sorry sent to soon ... Was Trying to say  “How to Become Self Disciplined”

Well SE is an abbreviation for self-evident, or as part of the latin expression "per se" which means inherently clear or obvious.  So maybe not such a meaningless typo after all.  

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I don't like the idea of making disciplinary rules around bad habits.  You also probably don't want to make disciplinary rules around your spouses (or SOs) pet peeves.  There are more positive ways to accomplish self-improvement.   

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23 hours ago, sassylittle said:

That's the trouble with a Disciplinarian- if the punishment isn't at the same time or very close to the behaviour, it doesn't work as well.

"ditto" 

My philosophy has always been "Swift 'Just" to obtain the best results, and usually works well. Orrrrr, unless "Fast 'n Furious" is preferred.  😁

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1 minute ago, MrBottoms said:

"ditto" 

My philosophy has always been "Swift 'Just" to obtain the best results, and usually works well. Orrrrr, unless "Fast 'n Furious" is preferred.  😁

If you want 'Fast n Furious" you'll have to catch me first. I'm fair, i'll even give you a 2 minute head start- don't want to be accused of elder abuse🤣

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14 minutes ago, sassylittle said:

If you want 'Fast n Furious" you'll have to catch me first. I'm fair, i'll even give you a 2 minute head start- don't want to be accused of elder abuse🤣data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAPABAP///wAAACH5BAEKAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAICRAEAOw==data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAPABAP///wAAACH5BAEKAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAICRAEAOw==data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAPABAP///wAAACH5BAEKAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAICRAEAOw==

 Uh-huh.  I don't think you realize the position you might be putting yourself into. You're willing to run that risk?  I don't think you realize what position you might be putting yourself into. Not to mention a few other positions which I might possibly have in store......😁  

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5 minutes ago, MrBottoms said:

 Uh-huh.  I don't think you realize the position you might be putting yourself into. You're willing to run that risk?  I don't think you realize what position you might be putting yourself into. Not to mention a few other positions which I might possibly have in store......😁  

You'd have to be able to handle me first so nah, not too worried😂

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Just now, sassylittle said:

You'd have to be able to handle me first so nah, not too worried😂

Also, I don't come with one of those " How to manuals." They ran out of paper, when they attempted to create one😂 Going to take one special Daddy, with a lot of creativity, to be up that task. I'm sweet when handled right but I have a brain which makes me more of a challenge😛

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19 minutes ago, sassylittle said:

You'd have to be able to handle me first so nah, not too worried😂

You worried? while out of arm's reach? No, of course not.  😉 

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1 minute ago, MrBottoms said:

You worried? while out of arm's reach? No, of course not.  😉 

I gave you the challenge- catch me then you can give me " fast n furious." Are you up for it? Of course, I'd understand if you can't manage it😂

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Break up large tasks into several smaller ones. I had let my apartment get out of control, so I did a deep clean today. Also, make sure to take breaks. When you complete one little task, take a break for a bit.

And if you need spankings for extra motivation, add them too.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/2/2021 at 8:04 PM, Shy2020 said:

...... Was Trying to say  “How to Become Self Disciplined”

Ultimately self discipline is a direct part of self respect, the more actual respect one has for oneself, then the more self disciplined one becomes. This is why personally I find the entire DD thing to be a deeply disturbing concept. 

Personally speaking when I say that I will do something, then I do whatever that is, it will be completed as it should be completed, in full, exactly when I said I would.  Never do I make excuses for myself, indeed, I am 100x's tougher on myself than anyone else. If I am not there, if the task has not been completed as specified; then I am dead. Ergo, I will not let myself down. That is purely for my own edification.

It is an unfortunate fact for many people that self respect is something created and built up throughout ones childhood/young adulthood ..... It is created by one's successes and achievements, one's socio economic group,  by one's parents, by becoming competent at tasks/skills. Plus for many the praise of other's. People find self respect in slightly differing ways for sure.

However one can see that many, many people really do not understand what self respect actually is .... Often people believe that stubborn refusal to comply with anything or anyone, demanding what they have not earnt or admitting they are wrong, even when that is "Cutting off one's own nose to spite one's own face" is taking place, is 100% not self respect; rather, that is a personality weakness.

So how does one create self respect and thereby self discipline in later life? It would seem that it is a fairly difficult task. Many views held will have to be ditched; meaning views about the person they hold for themselves, plus their view of society. However, IMO, achievement is still the only way to create self respect and thereby, self discipline. Taking pride in one's own determination and abilities is the key. People move around Maslow's Hierarchy all day every day, but to gain self discipline and thereby self respect and/or vice versa, then one must hit the top of Maslow's pyramidal model on a reasonably regular basis each day.

How often do people ask themselves ... "What have I achieved today?" ... "What have I learnt today?" These are IMO important questions, for oneself.

Someone here suggests splitting large tasks into bite size pieces; maybe. Maybe that works for some people to at least get something done. Personally speaking, that would not be any route which I would take myself.

My personal view is one should use proper Time Management.  If we acknowledge that effective time management leads to better results, which leads to growing self discipline and ultimately, true self respect; then time management is surely the way to go.

A basic way to look at managing one's time is this ..... Imagine one's tasks are held in a circular pattern above your head, much like aeroplanes circling an aerodrome waiting to land. The planes land on the basis of the fuel loads being carried. Those aeroplanes with the lowest low fuel must land first or they will crash. By the time the first have landed,  those with previously medium fuel loads have become the new low fuel loads, so they must land next. The next group initially had high fuel loads but are now at medium fuel and there are new aeroplanes of course constantly joining the stacking system.

So in terms of tasks, one must always complete the most urgent first, then those of medium urgency then lastly those which can simply wait at that time ... As time progresses the tasks of course move up the ladder of importance. Personally I use A,B & C ... A = Must be done B= Medium importance C= Not important presently.... to apportion my time to tasks.

Not having ones tasks within a system is nowhere near as effective as an ordered approach, indeed it often/usually creates 'fire fighting' and that creates a loss of self respect and therefore self discipline.

 

 

 

 

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On 1/13/2021 at 2:09 AM, HerrBlacktooth said:

Not having ones tasks within a system is nowhere near as effective as an ordered approach, indeed it often/usually creates 'fire fighting' and that creates a loss of self respect and therefore self discipline.

I know that Herr DravenSchwartzcock or whatever the dudes name was has been banned but thought this an interesting line. I've just spent the last 10 years working with a manager who constantly said the same thing. He also constantly pointed out how he was the alpha male ( whilst all the time his female deputy kept things running . However all he did over the years was mostly antagonise people over the years and was nowhere near as organised as he claimed to be. He had some good points towards the end ( I am fair to peoples legacy always ) but also was at times a sadistic pyschological bully. Be careful of anyone who suddenly comes into your life who claims to have all the answers and a "system" that solves everything because 9.9 times out of 10 they are chatting rubbish..

B

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5 minutes ago, ukspanko said:

I know that Herr DravenSchwartzcock or whatever the dudes name was has been banned but thought this an interesting line. I've just spent the last 10 years working with a manager who constantly said the same thing. He also constantly pointed out how he was the alpha male ( whilst all the time his female deputy kept things running . However all he did over the years was mostly antagonise people over the years and was nowhere near as organised as he claimed to be. He had some good points towards the end ( I am fair to peoples legacy always ) but also was at times a sadistic pyschological bully. Be careful of anyone who suddenly comes into your life who claims to have all the answers and a "system" that solves everything because 9.9 times out of 10 they are chatting rubbish..

B

I like to be fair too and thought that was funny- like your sense humour. If anyone claims to be an "alpha" male- run as fast as you can because they are probably a Narcissist😂

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Being "alpha" means being a leader.  It also means having confidence and integrity.

Somehow, sneaking back into a site you've been banned from previously using a different nick does not strike me as the act of someone with integrity.  Much less confidence and leadership.

If he really wanted a second chance, he could have contacted CoL and said "I screwed up.  Sorry.  Could we give it another try?"

And yeah - absolutely agree.  Terms like "alpha" etc are only meaningful if others apply them to you.  

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13 minutes ago, Drooaygah said:

Being "alpha" means being a leader.  It also means having confidence and integrity.

Somehow, sneaking back into a site you've been banned from previously using a different nick does not strike me as the act of someone with integrity.  Much less confidence and leadership.

If he really wanted a second chance, he could have contacted CoL and said "I screwed up.  Sorry.  Could we give it another try?"

And yeah - absolutely agree.  Terms like "alpha" etc are only meaningful if others apply them to you.  

True Alphas don't have to tell people that they are an "Alpha" ( like it's some badge of honour) in every single post! An Alpha doesn't have to tell people that' s who he is because that doesn't exude confidence or integrity. I prefer men who are quietly confident and don't have to throw terms, like that, in your face. I wouldn't go within a mile of a man, like that, but a real "alpha"- that's a different story😛

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On 1/13/2021 at 2:09 AM, HerrBlacktooth said:

Ultimately self discipline is a direct part of self respect, the more actual respect one has for oneself, then the more self disciplined one becomes. This is why personally I find the entire DD thing to be a deeply disturbing concept. 

DD works for some people. All I see in your posts is judgement of other people. 

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Just now, ukspanko said:

The odd thing for me is I actually feel pity for this person. 

I know he has upset you and he pissed many others off but he has gone and admin have promised that he' ll be gotten rid of quickly, if he comes back again. Let's get our community back to a more happy and loving place. And it's natural to feel pity for him because you have empathy. He's probably a very lonely man and can only get confidence by bullying others. He projected his own issues on to us instead of using a different approach and actually making friends. @ukspankoyou are a good person and it says a lot about your character, that you can have pity, for him, even thou he wasn't a very nice man😀

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