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Any one switch?


NeedDiscipline1

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Clarify with your partner what you want and make sure they are on board with it. Some people are not interested in switching and some will not assume both roles with the same person. For example, if you spank someone they may relate to you as an EE and not be able to change their headspace to be your ER (although they may be comfortable spanking someone else).  Or, they may be able to switch with you, but not be able switch roles during the same session. It can sometimes get a little complicated.

Other than that, I don't really have any recommendations - do whatever you are comfortable with.

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All I know for the last 25+ years is switching with my wife.  So, for me, the natural thing for a switch is to find another switch. 

One thing I will say though, switches we both may be, but my wife and I do not switch in a single session, or even within a couple of days.  We each get a kind of dom/sub vibe going and it sticks around for a while until we re-align.    

The only time we have spanked each other at the same time is when we are doing a calibration session with new implements, and then, the setting is not about dom/sub so much as a clinical investigation of tools and techniques.  But don't get me wrong, that's a lot of fun too.

What I have not done is any serious play with straight doms or subs.  And even then, I pretty much was only ER when I was dating.  Finding a gal who would spank me was a real challenge.  Are you looking for a back-and-forth relationship with another switch?  Or looking to play both sides each with different dom and sub partners?

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've been to parties where we switched freely, one minute you're getting spanked and another one you're giving a spanking. Worked for me. I will say it took a while to get comfortable with that. The first time I got publicly spanked was kind of hard.

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I agree with some of the posts above.  I can’t switch with the same person.  I’ve been asked by a man I’ve spanked if I wanted him to spank me.  I couldn’t wrap my head around it, I’m not sure why other than to think I’ve already assumed a certain role that I’ve associated with that partner.  

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I have given a whole lot of spankings.  I have taken a whole lot of spankings. I thoroughly enjoy both (I prefer to and usually spank, but from time to time need my own bottom lovingly, carefully and thoroughly blistered) but never with the same person.  It's just confusing and challenging for me.  In any given relationship I always either spank or get spanked.

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Generally I'd consider myself a spankee. I've switched a few times but wouldn't define myself as a switch. Mainly because my needs are different. When I'm being spanked it's generally for punishment or maintenance. if I'm spanking it's much more a case of having a deserving lady over my knee and giving her a nice warm bottom with lots of massages and rubbing etc. I'd say I'm probaly 95 % spankee and 5% spanker but they are kind of separate. I self define as spanko through and through really.

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I've switched within the same session, but generally prefer to top first. No idea why that order but it appears to make that change of mindset easier for me.

At parties, I've switched back and forth aplenty, too. Something about that environment makes it easier, I think. I do miss parties...

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20 hours ago, Chawsee said:

I've had only one switch partner, my ex-husband. It was natural for us to switch roles, but we didn't switch in the same session. Either he was the top that time, or I was. 

Yes.  I concur on that.  My wife and I can't switch in the same session, or even in the same time-frame.  The dom-sub thing just ebbs and flows, but it's always one-way-or-the-other for a significant interlude.

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Although I switch, I have NEVER done so in the same session.  I used to switch with my wife for several years.  Then she decided she would much rather give than receive, so from that point in, she did all the spanking.  I continued to spank other women, and still do . . . I have also been spanked by other women (as well as a handful of males).  The benefit to switching is that it gives the individual the unique perspective of having been on both ends of the paddle. 

Lately, I have been chatting with a young lady about administering her first ever real spanking.  I think it's helpful that I know full well what that first time OTK can be like.  I want this young lady to not only (finally) experience a real life spanking, but I also want to make she she doesn't find it "traumatic" at the same time.  

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I never considered spanking someone else until I started reading the forums on this site and read from some males looking for caring loving women and it perked my motherly side, also the give and take seemed safer and less likely to be taken advantage of? maybe I'm wrong. I just never talked to anyone about spanking at all and never heard a guy say he'd like to be spanked, so it was never on my mind. I tend to be more a submissive person unless I'm caring for someone else, maybe I could be a switch I don't know yet. I just learned what that was lol I thought a switch had to do with an actual switch and like a master of the cane or switch ? 

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Years ago when I was single I tried switching. I thought for sure I would have no problem giving a good sound spanking to a much in need female backside. It didn’t work out so well.

 A woman I once met on a fetish chat site had an older couple who she would visit a couple times a month for the purpose of discipline spankings.  She was in her 20’s, they were in their 60’s. The young lady said it helped her keep focus so she could concentrate on work and part time college. The husband would spank her while the wife lectured her. When we got together for me to spank her, I didn’t realize at the time that being an ER was so much more than giving the spanking. We were both unsatisfied when it was over, and I realized I did not enjoy being the ER.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I do and have quite a few times.   My suggestion:   Be nice to people and accept offers with reasonable safety concerns.   If you can find a woman to spank you, go for it.   Paddles, straps, canes, etc. can be painful - but if you are really a spanko it will not deter you from finding your match or match(es).

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On 2/8/2021 at 8:38 AM, Busted4fun said:

Years ago when I was single I tried switching. I thought for sure I would have no problem giving a good sound spanking to a much in need female backside. It didn’t work out so well.

 A woman I once met on a fetish chat site had an older couple who she would visit a couple times a month for the purpose of discipline spankings.  She was in her 20’s, they were in their 60’s. The young lady said it helped her keep focus so she could concentrate on work and part time college. The husband would spank her while the wife lectured her. When we got together for me to spank her, I didn’t realize at the time that being an ER was so much more than giving the spanking. We were both unsatisfied when it was over, and I realized I did not enjoy being the ER.

Well, being an ER isn't just some chore you are performing.  I discipline my wife for misbehavior (and vice-versa) and when she's getting punished, I am highly motivated to teach her a lesson.  It's not some sterile exercise in spanking mechanics, although we are both well practiced in the techniques.  If you feel you have switch tendencies, just play it by ear and see how it plays into the relationships you have.  Don't read too much into a single experience.  I am a big advocate of reciprocation when it comes to the power dynamics of close relationships.  

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 12/19/2020 at 12:13 AM, NeedDiscipline1 said:

anyone that switches do you have any recommendations for switching roles? 

It’s really not clear what you’re asking.

People switch in different ways. Some always need to be both spanker and spankee. Some are just open to both sides. Yet others need to connect with other switches.

People also switch for different reasons. That can be from anything from wanting to experience a new implement they’ll use as a spanker, to making right with someone, to wanting release, to the fun of it.

If you’re asking about how to “nudge” oneself into a different role as a switch— for me that would be fairness.

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  • 3 months later...
On 1/19/2021 at 3:55 PM, Jenna1220 said:

I agree with some of the posts above.  I can’t switch with the same person.  I’ve been asked by a man I’ve spanked if I wanted him to spank me.  I couldn’t wrap my head around it, I’m not sure why other than to think I’ve already assumed a certain role that I’ve associated with that partner.  

Interesting take!

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/20/2021 at 10:55 AM, Keith Lemontree said:

I have given a whole lot of spankings.  I have taken a whole lot of spankings. I thoroughly enjoy both (I prefer to and usually spank, but from time to time need my own bottom lovingly, carefully and thoroughly blistered) but never with the same person.  It's just confusing and challenging for me.  In any given relationship I always either spank or get spanked.

Same. Once the discipline dynamic is established with another person, it’s difficult for me to wrap my mind around flipping it 180 degrees. Maybe that says more about my (lack of) mental flexibility, but there it is…

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