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As a spankee (female), I can't help how my body naturally reacts to a spanking. Not sure if it works the same for male spankees. My preference is for discipline, so I doubt my Top would allow me to masturbate during a punishment. 

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9 minutes ago, rubyredd said:

As a spankee (female), I can't help how my body naturally reacts to a spanking. Not sure if it works the same for male spankees. My preference is for discipline, so I doubt my Top would allow me to masturbate during a punishment. 

Masturbate? Aren't these Male Tops supposed to make themselves useful and teach you somethings of the sexual kind? What use is a man if he can't get you off? 😂

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If the spankee orgasms during a spanking, that's one thing. But if you're going to masturbate, do it after the spanking and at home. Usually, I cum when I'm spanking someone, so my diaper kink comes in handy there. And more than a few times, a spanking has made me cum.

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1 hour ago, sassylittle said:

Masturbate? Aren't these Male Tops supposed to make themselves useful and teach you somethings of the sexual kind? What use is a man if he can't get you off? 😂

The spanking does that. No extra help needed. 😂

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I think it really just depends on what the situation is. In my sessions as a Spanker, the spankee is RARELY in a position to be able to stimulate themselves. It is normally discussed before hand where spankings can land and the topic of stimulation normally presents itself. I'm usually able to tell when a spankee is getting aroused by the session, so I welcome the topic for discussion. I never want to assume that because a spankee has agreed to put themselves in the situation of the session, that they want for the Spanker to stimulate them. Most of the time, I've been told that if any stimulation were to happen, they would prefer it be by me rubbing them.

Honestly, I could go either way. If it's not discussed and they do it, it's not a problem. 

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1 hour ago, rubyredd said:

As a spankee (female), I can't help how my body naturally reacts to a spanking. Not sure if it works the same for male spankees. My preference is for discipline, so I doubt my Top would allow me to masturbate during a punishment. 

As a male spankeeeee, i've always requested serious, punishment paddlings and strappings.  With that occurring or about to occur, i don't feel anything sexual. A little scared maybe, a little nervous...about what is coming...we never really know how much is coming, but can be sure it's going to really hurt.

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     This is whole subject is always on the agenda for advance discussion with the partner, and as an 'er I am open to reasonable arragnements.

     However, my preference is that the matter be be under my control.  That is, if the 'ee gets aroused, there is nothing to be done about it.  But I like to be the one with the power to decide to bring them off, require them to bring themselves off, or make them ask permission to bring themselves off (which  I may deny).  -Ex.

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I get aroused by the thoughts of spanking and being spanked.  During an actual spanking I am rarely turned on by the impact, but if he is Domly flexing that will do it.  Topping, I enjoy spanking, but am too distracted by What I am doing to be focused on being turned on.  During After care from either position is when I get into the.. "Hmmm... What are we gonna do about this" kind of thought process.  

My issue in being a bit shy and inexperienced as a Top is that the people I have talked to are more experienced and less shy sexually and with spanking than I am.  Lol I feel like I need to befriend a meet shy bottom and then we can get to know each other and progress together. Hubbs and I have defined where the lines are and I have way more wiggle room than I am willing to go for the first few times I spank a person.  

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34 minutes ago, Megthe said:

I get aroused by the thoughts of spanking and being spanked.  During an actual spanking I am rarely turned on by the impact, but if he is Domly flexing that will do it.  Topping, I enjoy spanking, but am too distracted by What I am doing to be focused on being turned on.  During After care from either position is when I get into the.. "Hmmm... What are we gonna do about this" kind of thought process.  

My issue in being a bit shy and inexperienced as a Top is that the people I have talked to are more experienced and less shy sexually and with spanking than I am.  Lol I feel like I need to befriend a meet shy bottom and then we can get to know each other and progress together. Hubbs and I have defined where the lines are and I have way more wiggle room than I am willing to go for the first few times I spank a person.  

Am not sure how much “wiggle room” your husband is allowing you, but he sounds awfully trusting.  Hopefully you’re not planning to have sexual relations with a spankee.  At least I can’t imagine him being OK with that.  If his trust in you is ever broken, you probably won’t ever get that back.

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1 hour ago, SpudStateSpanky said:

Am not sure how much “wiggle room” your husband is allowing you, but he sounds awfully trusting.  Hopefully you’re not planning to have sexual relations with a spankee.  At least I can’t imagine him being OK with that.  If his trust in you is ever broken, you probably won’t ever get that back.

I am absolutely never planning on having sex with spankees.  What I mean is when we were discussing what is acceptable, he is ok with tye ee being naked, even if it was over my lap.  He is ok with me teasing the ee, touching them with my hand or impliments.  He is ok with me having orgasm control over the ee's, up to and including requiring them to get off in front of me and even helping them, as in more of a Dom-sub scenario.  I went into the discussion thinking it would be spanking only.   

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16 hours ago, Belle1241 said:

What are spankers thoughts on this? Are you open to spankees stimulating themselves during spankings? I’ve gotten mixed opinions on this. 

Some time ago I started a thread about being brought to orgasm during a spanking as rt happened to me once.  There were a number of replies to my post confirming that the recipients had enjoyed a similar experience. I don’t think that one of them mentioned masturbating during a spanking though.

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It all depends on the situation. In a disciplinary situation, masturbation and sexual pleasure would totally undercut the value of the discipline, so I would not allow it. Sure, the ee might get aroused anyway by the spanking--some reactions are natural and involuntary--but acting on it would be out of line.

In an erotic setting, however, it can be totally different. It's not something I've done regularly, but I've enjoyed incorporating it on occasion. Practically speaking, some positions (such as OTK over a chair) don't really allow for manual stimulation, other than what can be obtained from squirming. But other positions can work, and stimulation via a vibrator can happen in even more difficult positions. As the er, I would take it amiss if the ee just started stimulation on her own accord, but it can be quite fun to incorporate asking for permission, or even requiring the ee to masturbate (if this is something she enjoys). One can even allow the ee to control the spanking, in a sense, by letting her know that the spanking isn't going to stop until she comes. There are all kinds of variations that can work with erotic play...

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I get seriously aroused  when spanked and caned esp otk and do ejeculate sometimes on my spankers lap or thigh it’s not that I won’t sex it’s a mechanical thing I think? It’s due to all my wriggling  kicking and clenching ect I need to learn control sometimes I get an extra beating for doing this as some spankers don’t like it unless i tell them what is likely to happen  I often put a towel on my spankers lap!

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As a male top, I can't help but to be aroused if I have a woman over my lap, or any spanking position for that matter.  Even if I am not giving an "erotic" spanking (which is rare to never), it still turns me on.  I cannot help it.  It is my thing and what I like.

Now, this is something I hardly ever act upon, unless I have a closer, more intimate relationship with the bottom, and it is only after spanking and any other punishments 99 percent of the time if I do. 

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When is am spanked really hard and my bottom cherry red hot and on fire, it sometimes causes me to get a huge erection and if the spanked continues to spank me hard where my bottom gets redder, on fire and burning, will eventually cause me to cum!! There is something about a real hard spanking that makes my naked butt red on fire and burning gets me sexually aroused and I wind up cumming.  Maybe I am sexually aroused to the paddle or belt itself.  When I see someone or pictures of red bottoms being spanked I feel sexually aroused and start getting a huge erection.

 

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  • 3 months later...

It's normal for some of us. Anything to do with spanking turns me on... it's not just the spanking itself. I'm able to shut my brain off a bit to the sexual arousal if it's a punishment spanking or not in a sexual context. This takes a lot of work on my behalf😂

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I have lots of thoughts on this, but I'll just talk about the ones in the OP's question:  No, I am not open to my ee's stimulating themselves during a spanking, unless it's a good girl spanking day, then the stimulation starts the minute they walk in the door.  But during discipline?  No, it's against the rules while they are still in 'naughty' status.  I've caught an ee playing with herself when she was kneeling on the chair, supposed to be reflecting on why she was being spanked.  She got taken off the chair, my foot went on it and she got a standing OTK.  Kinda backfired, as it pushed her over the edge when I spank her like that, but it also stung like the dickens and made her feel vulnerable as all get out. 

After spankings are over, though, and she's no longer considered a naughty girl, then the fun can begin, and often does.  I get excited by spanking, too, so it's a win-win for both of us after the spankings are done.  The only caveat is that she has to go over my knee, one last time for a long hand spanking to remind her what the day was for, if it was a discipline day. It seems to work for her, as before we started doing that, she said it confused her to have fun after discipline.  One more spanking before the session is over?  I was/am happy to oblige.  :)

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  • 3 weeks later...

My ER gets excited as she is spanking me. I start off standing at attention, but a few swats in that goes away as the sting takes over. When the spanking is done, it takes a minute, but I’m aroused even more than when we started. At no time during the spanking does any masterbation occur. 

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One of the high spots in my spanking life was when I was asked by a newbie to give her the first spanking of her life. She took it well and then asked me to 'take her there'. I knew exactly what she meant and her body language made for a most powerful erotic event for both of us, but not 'all the way' if you follow my meaning!

 

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On 12/8/2020 at 2:08 PM, Belle1241 said:

What are spankers thoughts on this? Are you open to spankees stimulating themselves during spankings? I’ve gotten mixed opinions on this. 

Absolutely not. It's natural for many EEs to feel aroused beforehand as they think about the spanking they'll be getting. A few can even sustain this through the session. But under no circumstance would I permit them to stimulate themselves during a spanking. They can do that on their own, afterwards. 

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20 minutes ago, Chawsee said:

Absolutely not. It's natural for many EEs to feel aroused beforehand as they think about the spanking they'll be getting. A few can even sustain this through the session. But under no circumstance would I permit them to stimulate themselves during a spanking. They can do that on their own, afterwards. 

 

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Under no circumstance should a spanker allow a spankee to have his willy protruding before before a spanking. Being a women I find it disrespectful. My husband must relieve himself in the bathroom or I have a wooden ruler that will cure my husband if he is having problems. Also if I have to resort to either method above to cure the problem,then my spanking will just be that much harder to take. If my husband does have a accident then we go on to another phase of his punishment.

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5 hours ago, Spankingmyhuby said:

Under no circumstance should a spanker allow a spankee to have his willy protruding before before a spanking. Being a women I find it disrespectful. My husband must relieve himself in the bathroom or I have a wooden ruler that will cure my husband if he is having problems. Also if I have to resort to either method above to cure the problem,then my spanking will just be that much harder to take. If my husband does have a accident then we go on to another phase of his punishment.

This methodology seems to work for your marriage, and I certainly respect that. For me, as long as a man's behavior is respectful, (something he can control) I am not offended by his body's involuntary reaction (something he can't control), nor would I want him to feel shamed because of it. I find it best to just quietly ignore any arousal. For most guys, it dissipates after the first few swats anyway, so "no harm, no foul."

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